Wednesday, October 28, 2020

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 6: Natural Vibe

Signal Finder: BAL @ PHI, WSH @ NYG, CHI @ CAR (end), GB @ TB


Ravens win the toss and defer. First play ends in a sack. Second play gets no yards. Third play is a bomb to Hightower that he dropped. That could have been a touchdown. Even the punt went badly. Ravens start in Eagles territory. Lamar to Boykin for 11 on 3rd and 10. Slay must still be concussed, as Robey-Coleman and LeBlanc are the corners and Mills is back at safety. Except Slay was in on that touchdown to Nick Boyle, where Jackson rolled out to find Boykin but he was covered, then flipped it to Boyle, who went in untouched. The Ravens have scored at least one touchdown in the last 100 halves. Josh Sweat tips two straight passes. Wentz rushes a throw to Ertz, which he can't one-hand. K'Von Wallace down on this punt. Back from commercial and he's walking to the locker room, holding his hand. Wentz keeper on a fake pitch ends in a fumble. Is his knee down? They pick up the flag and let's see. This is close. Ravens ball. Boyle makes another catch and the Ravens are in the red zone as Ingram gets taped up on the sideline. Gus Edwards cuts through the line and scores. The Eagles still don't have a first down.


Willie Snead gets open over the middle and takes it 32 yards before fumbling out of bounds. Tucker hits from 46. Jackson scrambles for a first down, vaulting over LeBlanc. Ravens hurting themselves with penalties now. Ward fields this punt at the 9, for some reason. Jalen Hurts with a keeper and he picks up 20 yards! Wentz with the block downfield. Hurts slips but still gets a first down on a play that took too long to develop. Now Wentz takes a lateral and throws it back to Hurts, who gets three. Fulgham, finally. Ward! They'll review this, and it might not count? Steratore thinks his right foot is down and it should stand. It does! Sanders gets turned around and drops one in the end zone. Then he only gets one yard on 3rd and 2. Ravens call time. The Eagles go for it with a quarterback sneak and I don't know if this worked. It didn't. That's a killer. I get going for it, but this offensive line has been awful today. I'd have run something else.


Eagles get a stop. Pass goes through Pernell McPhee's hands, saving Wentz from an interception. Hail Mary gets picked off, but Wentz was roughed! This'll give Elliott a shot at a 52-yarder. It's wide right, because of course it is. Ravens get the ball to start the second half and they're rolling. Malik Jackson gets to Lamar, and that was a coverage sack, too! Eagles haven't gotten one of those in years. Ravens punt. SANDERS. What? Fumble? ARCEAGA-WHITESIDE?!? Touchdown! The ball was punched out of Sanders' hands at the 4 but JJAW fell on it in the end zone. Eagles go for two for no good reason and it goes horribly. Jackson gets through a hole on a quarterback draw and it's over. There's nobody in this league who's catching him from behind in the open field. This is also now the 29th straight game the Ravens have scored at least 20 points, one short of the record. That's the third ball the Ravens have punched out of an Eagle's hands, but this one rolls out of bounds. Charles Davis wonders if maybe it's time to get Wentz out of the game and save him for Thursday. Eagles finally convert a third down. Hightower gets interfered with but it's not called. Wentz almost drops that snap, then Jimmy Smith breaks up the pass. Eagles have called five straight passes in the red zone, and the only one that's been caught so far was by Ertz on 3rd and 10. Wentz runs out of time again, but the Ravens get flagged for roughing the passer AGAIN. Sanders is questionable with a leg injury and Ertz just walked off the field. Pederson's called this series like it's four-down territory, which it is. Touchdown to... Jason Croom, whoever he is.


They go for two and Ward picks it up, taking a hard hit out of bounds afterwards. Tucker hits from 55. Announcer cutouts in the stands, which has become standard. I wonder how Evan Washburn is watching the feed. (The usual suspects are also here in cutout form, as well as Miles Teller and a cutout of Jason Kelce from the Super Bowl parade.) Wentz with the second-longest run of the day for the Eagles. Deshaun Elliott interception is overturned on review. Fulgham with a late touchdown catch. They go for two and Arceaga-Whiteside makes it 30-22. There's still 3:48 left. That's 11 penalties on the Ravens, which is the biggest reason the Eagles are still in this game. Good coverage again forces the Ravens to punt. Wentz throws up a bomb and Marcus Peters gets called for defensive pass interference on Fulgham.


Ball's now at the Ravens' 22. Wentz gets hit as he throws and still finds Richard Rodgers at the 7. Boston Scott to the 1. Two minute warning. Hurts in the game. Wentz sneaks for the touchdown! The last time these two teams played, the Eagles lost by one when Pederson went for two at the end of the game and didn't get it. What was THAT? Looks like an option that either got blown up or was mishandled. The run goes in the same place as the fake? That's just bad design.


Rip that out of the playbook and throw it in the trash. I think Harbaugh will be more upset about this game than Pederson. (Ravens 30, Eagles 28)

I'm Sorry You Had To See That: That was a terrible decision by Mayfield on the Minkah Fitzpatrick pick-six. Ben Roethlisberger owns the Browns, and that will never change. (Steelers 38, Browns 7)


This was the black guy from Week 2. And he made one! Good for him, I guess. (Lions 34, Jaguars 16)

The Giants have benched No. 4 overall pick Andrew Thomas for... some reason. Kyle Allen starting again for Washington. Freeman makes a couple of moves and gets 14. Giants lose four yards on a double reverse. Kerrigan sacks Jones. Giants end up settling for three. Bradberry sits on an underthrown pass and gets an easy interception. Touchdown Giants as Jones goes over the top to Slayton. Allen finds a wide-open Logan Thomas at the 42. Leonard Williams sacks Allen. McLaurin gets 19 back on 3rd and 24. 35-yarder puts Washington on the board. The Giants run a fake pitch and Jones TAKES OFF! 49 yards! The back got tackled for a 4-yard loss but he didn't have the ball. Designed Jones draw on 3rd and goal doesn't reach the end zone. Giants going for it? Or not, as Gano kicks it through. Washington punts on 4th and 9 from the Giants' 45 with 1:20 left, but a Giant ran into Way. So now it's fourth and 4 from the Giants' 40, and Riverboat Ron strikes. They're going for it. Allen avoids a sack and finds Dontrelle Inman downfield for 15. This is a touchdown catch by Logan Thomas. 13-10 Giants at the half. C.J. Ward down after his head hit the turf awkwardly. Giants fail to draw Washington offside on 4th and 2 and they end up punting. Freeman gtes three yards into Washington territory on 3rd and 1. Slayton slow getting up. Jones with a keeper to the Washington 7. Kendall Fuller gets flagged for interference, giving the Giants first and goal. And that's where this chapter ends as Jones throws an interception in the end zone. Allen's not a good enough runner to be trying this. Rivera challenges the spot... and wins! First down. Allen's pass into the end zone is broken up by Logan Ryan. Hopkins field goal ties it. Allen not happy on the sideline looking at the pictures. Allen fumbles! Tae Crowder picks it up and scores! Giants lead with 3:29 left. Allen finds McLaurin near midfield on 3rd and 5. Wright gets popped by Peppers but stays up to complete the play, then he goes down. Allen goes to someone named Cam Sims in the back of the end zone! Washington keeps the offense out. Giants bring pressure... and the pass is incomplete. I mean, I get it.


(Giants 20, Washington 19)

It feels like the Bears are 4-1 in spite of themselves. Foles throws on 3rd and 2 (?) and Rasul Douglas breaks it up. Bears punt. Intercepted!


Sure feels that way. (Bears 23, Panthers 16)


I think of the Phillies' Scott Kingery, also, who got it and was useless the entire season. Back-to-back CHICANERY from Belichick? He's losing it. (Broncos 18, Patriots 12)


It didn't get much better from there. Who knew losing Stefon Diggs would wreck things so badly. Is Mike Zimmer in trouble? I'm serious. (Falcons 40, Vikings 23)

Here's the last ten minutes: Derrick Henry rushes for a 94-yard touchdown. Will Fuller plays center field and catches a touchdown pass. Texans up 1. Roby picks off Tannehill! This Johnson run is CLOSE. They go for it. Cooks slips in for the touchdown! The Texans... go for two? To go up nine, obviously. Pass is tipped at the line! A lot of Firkser on this drive for the Titans. Texans call time out with 22 seconds left, while the Titans are already out. Caught inbounds. The Titans don't spike it. TOUCHDOWN A.J. BROWN!! Now do the Titans go for two here? They don't. Overtime! Titans win the toss. Short pass to Henry. How is there so much open space? Direct snap to Henry. TOUCHDOWN. That's nuts. (Titans 42, Texans 36, OT)

Crosby hits from 39 to give the Packers the early lead. Kickoff clips the corner of the end zone and is ruled a touchback. Buccaneers go three and out. Bucs defense looks confused, and Rodgers finds Tonyan on the sideline for 11 yards and a first down. Jamal Williams gets 25. Rodgers finds MVS on the move for 15. Barry Shepherd? Who  are these guys? Rodgers takes it himself on 3rd and 5... and takes it in himself! He gets hit afterwards and a flag comes out. They pick up the flag, but was his knee down? We come back from commercial and it was down. First and goal at the 1. Aaron Jones gets it but no one signals. Oh, there it is, finally. Windy down there, and Aikman says it's a swirling wind. Jamel Dean picks off Rodgers and he's gone! Touchdown! He jumped in front of Davante Adams and took off. He's been really good the last game and change.


Rodgers throws this one into traffic and it gets intercepted after a deflection! That ball went off Jason Pierre-Paul's arm before it got deflected by Carlton Davis. It's returned to the Packers' 2. Touchdown Ronald Jones and the Bucs lead. Tampa is so hot right now, as Buck notes the Lightning's Stanley Cup win and the Rays making the World Series. Aaron Jones gets drilled on a wheel route but still hangs on. Or does he? Arians challenges. The ball is loose and the call gets overturned. That one goes off Marcedes Lewis's hand. Hard to blame him; I don't think he's run a route that deep in 10 years. Gronk gets to midfield. LeSean McCoy sighting! Touchdown Tyler Johnson. This game has TURNED. Rodgers misses MVS deep, then gets sacked on 3rd and 2. It's like nobody runs on 3rd and 2-4 anymore. Ronald Jones with a good run. Two minute warning. Brady to Gronk for a touchdown and this is shell shock. That's the 91st time that's happened. 28-10 Buccaneers. Gronk told Erin he had a good feeling about today. Succop hits from 50. David Bahktiari down for the Packers. Rodgers sacked AGAIN. Only three? Feels like five or six. Delay of game. The Packers have done nothing this entire second half. If you're gonna play "Misery Business", play the real one. Who's this DUDE singing it? (Apparently it's Machine Gun Kelly. Which, why?)


Rodgers benched. Now Brady's day is over. (Buccaneers 38, Packers 10)

Only two late games and this is the other one? What the hell, NFL?



That Marcus Maye interception is the Jets' best highlight in at least 10 years. TUA!


That's the good stuff. (Dolphins 24, Jets 0)

49ers in their early 90's uniforms tonight. Deebo wasn't tackled, apparently. Tight end screen to Kittle and the 49ers are already at the Rams' 5. Touchdown Samuel on a jet sweep. Aaron Donald on the sideline, which shouldn't happen unless he's in the process of losing an organ. Mostert running through the Rams defense. McKinnon with a carry, but the Rams' John Johnson picks the ball up at the end of the run and kind of jogs to inside the 49ers' 20 before being shoved out of bounds. The refs say it's a fumble and Rams' ball. Let's look at THIS. Wait, they didn't look at it yet? Terry McAuley says this should be down by contact.


Call overturned. They have to put more than a minute back on the clock, which is hilarious and sad.


Garoppolo to Kittle, who beats Ramsey (after Garoppolo beat the blitz) and will not be caught. Touchdown 49ers. Big Henderson run is called back. Inside handoff to Woods off a fake pitch gets the first down anyway. First down run for Henderson. Touchdown Woods! Give Goff credit, too, for making a tough throw that only Woods could make a good play on. PAT MISSES. Mostert stiffarm gets  called back because he got the face mask. Bourne makes back-to-back catches. 49ers go into a hurry-up before the two-minute warning. Rams penalty gives the 49ers a new first down. It's been 50 years since the Rams went 4-0 against the NFC East. Garoppolo with a bad throw that is fortunately not picked off. Aiyuk slips in underneath the coverage and catches an easy ball from Garoppolo. 21-6 49ers. Rams run a double handoff that doesn't work, and the 49ers will get the ball back. Surprised that downfield ball to Aiyuk didn't draw a flag on either side. Halftime. Rams get the ball to start the second half. Rams go no-huddle and get dinged for a false start, which hurts worse because the 49ers had 12 men on the field. Field goal is good. "Wicked Game" plays over an aerial shot of downtown SF, which is 45 miles and 45 hours away from Levi's Stadium. McKinnon in for Mostert on this series, and Michele reports that Mostert's fighting a sore ankle. Goff goes deep for Kupp but he seems to lose track of the ball. Donald's been pretty quiet tonight. Henderson gets tripped up, preventing a touchdown. He has some good runs on this drive. That sweep on second and goal wasn't one of them. Kupp DROPS a touchdown! That never happens. Rams go for it and Jason Verrett intercepts Goff! That's a touchback. Third down pass goes off Bourne's hands. Still 21-9 after 3. Collinsworth says he was doing interviews and getting asked if he thought Garoppolo could win the big one, pointing out that he's never lost back-to-back games as a starter. Trent Williams is in the tent, and a replay shows that he got hit in the head twice. Kittle has one go through his hands. Officials confer on this punt and put the ball at the Rams' 1. Good call, and good play by Tarvarious Moore to down it while on his back and still manage to stay out of the end zone. Garoppolo misses a wide-open Juszczyk. Kittle converts on third down. Don't know why you'd think that was a fumble except for how bad the pass looked coming out. Gould sneaks a 49-yarder inside the right upright. 24-9 with 5:26 left. Al says he thought Vegas was a possibility for the NFL when the NHL went in. Tribute to Minneapolis sportswriting legend Sid Hartman, who died today at 100. Rams don't huddle. Josh Reynolds fights through Mosley's interference and brings in a touchdown. Extra point is good and it's 24-16. Rams kick off deep with 3:24 left. Inside handoff to Deebo on third and 7, and he picks up 11. (49ers 24, Rams 16)


Precipitation in Buffalo.


That's not a good throw. Neither is that. Wet ball? Let's see. Chiefs take over after a three and out. Le'Veon Bell isn't here, as he can't be cleared for Covid in time. Edwards-Helaire gets 11. Mahomes throws high of Kelce. Darrell Williams gets nine on third and 2. Mahomes misses Kelce again and the Chiefs punt. Allen launches a rocket to John Brown, but Thornhill breaks it up at the last possible second. Officials pick up the flag. Shorter rote to Beasley picks it up on third down. Allen's overthrown Brown and Singletary on two of the last three plays. Field goal is good. Edwards-Helaire goes right and picks up 31. Touchdown Kelce. Allen throws deep, but late, and Diggs runs out of end zone. Breeland almost bounced off Allen trying to tackle him. He won't get away from Frank Clark on this sack, though. Allen overthrows Diggs again, but this time it was because of contact. Diggs work over Ward and gets both feet down for a falling touchdown. Extra point is not only good, but bounces off the top of the net. Edwards-Helaire is FEASTING. Hold cancels out a touchdown. Aikman: "You see that at the rodeo."


More sick footwork, this time by Kelce for his second touchdown catch of the game. You can't let him get that open, especially in the red zone, as Aikman points out. Extra point is... no good. Huh. Diggs drops this, but there was illegal contact (before the throw). That probably should have been fair catch interference. Mario Addison sacks Mahomes. Classic Andy Reid clock management here. Kelce fumbles downfield and the Bills recover. Halftime! Erin reports that Kelce was angry with himself after the fumble. Edwards-Helaire picks up eight more for a first down. They don't NEED Le'Veon Bell. This is going to be terrifying three weeks from now. Mahomes shifts and dives... but they say he's short! Andy's not happy. No challenge, no measurement. Fourth and 1. They give it to Darrell Williams... and he'll score! Bills are crunchy on this drive. Allen to Diggs for 14, then to Beasley for 22. Beasley just breaks the plane. It's really raining now.


Kelce makes a sliding catch on a bad throw by Mahomes. A good throw and he's still running. Edwards-Helaire gets swallowed up by the pile and the ball comes out! Replays show his knee was down. Mahomes scrambles around some more... and fires one to Pringle! 37 yards! That might do it. Field goal is good with 1:56 left. That's a sick one-handed interception by Sorensen to end this game. (Chiefs 26, Bills 17)

Kyler Murray's 6-0 at Jerryworld lifetime, and we do mean lifetime. He had Andy Isabella downfield, but the throw was off target. Cowboys also go three and out. Fitzgerald with back-to-back catches. He's caught a pass in 249 straight games. Can't be holding the ball out like that, Kyler. Punt pins the Cowboys at their own 10. Jordan Hicks drops an interception. Dalton barely escapes a safety and Zeke almost caught the ball. 3rd and 22? Not the best start to this tilt. Zack Martin down, and this offensive line can't take any more hits. Um, the Eagles would like a word, Louis. Under duress, Dalton shovels it to Elliott, who fumbles! Cardinals ball. Murray's been inaccurate so far. He waits, then takes off and picks up 3rd and 10 thanks to a block from Kenyan Drake at the sticks. That's on target to Hopkins. Drake drops a pass on 3rd and 1. Cardinals going for it from the Cowboys' 18? What? Murray bootlegs left and easily picks it up. Jet sweep to Christian Kirk — touchdown. Elliott fumbles AGAIN! Cardinals recover! Griese wonders if the pressure of having to carry the team with Dak out is already getting to him. Murray keeps it himself and gets tripped up at the 1. Easy touchdown for Drake. 14-0 Cardinals.


Tony Pollard in for Elliott. Budda Baker buries Dalton on a blitz. He finds Gallup at midfield for a first down on the next play. Elliott back in. This is a whole lot of plays to not go anywhere. Ten plays, 30 yards, and the Cowboys punt. Kirk's got his man beat and he hauls in a bomb from Murray! Touchdown! 80 yards! Dalton finds Schultz on the sideline to get to the Cardinals' 23. Dalton sacked by Hassan Reddick. Third down pass goes off Gallup's fingers in the end zone. Zeurlein hits from 34. Some extracurriculars after the kick. Blow that whistle all you want, ref; it's not gonna help. Cowboys start the second half with what I think is Cooper's first catch of the game. Dalton gets intercepted! Lamb fell down after some contact and Dre Kirkpatrick makes a jumping interception. Yeah, that should have been called.


Back-to-back big runs by Drake. Murray with another bootleg for an easy touchdown. Cowboys look beaten down. Dalton finally goes downfield but it's broken up and Wilson takes a hit afterwards. Then Dalton overthrows Gallup. Sad 58-yard field goal attempt is short. Hopkins only has one catch tonight as Levy talks about how he and Murray aren't in sync. Lamb breaks a tackle and gets 15 more yards, and a flag will add more. Baker picks off Dalton! He's been killing it tonight. Murray to Hopkins for 61. Field goal is good. Levy: "This is the worst 16-play drive I've seen in a long time." They're at the Cardinals' 1! Dalton overthrows Gallup. Those boos aren't piped in, folks.


There's been a penalty on every other play on this drive, it seems. Dalton finally finds Cooper for the touchdown. Drake bolts for a 69-yard touchdown! That's just sad.


Murray has nine completions tonight. (Cardinals 38, Cowboys 10)

RANKINGS:
TOP 4:
1. Seattle (5-0) — You can't give these guys an inch
2. Kansas City (5-1) — That's how you adjust
3. Pittsburgh (5-0) — The Browns are comfort food
4. Tennessee (5-0) — Doing it their way

BOTTOM 4:
29. Cincinnati (1-4-1) — Can Joe Burrow survive this?
30. Jacksonville (1-5) — Rapidly sliding back to irrelevance
31. N.Y. Giants (1-5) — A breakthrough, perhaps?
32. N.Y. Jets (0-6) — I see the infighting has commenced


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