Wednesday, December 30, 2020

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 15: Prestige and Pride

So the Raiders, facing a must-win game, have a new defensive coordinator and are missing four defensive starters on a short week. And Erin just reported that offensive coordinator Greg Olson was just put on the COVID list. Good thing they're playing the Chargers. Raiders start on offense. Carr moves players around on 3rd and 3 but he and Renfrow can't connect. Buck: "So a guy named Storm who plays for the Lightning Bolts..." for their replacement right tackle. Herbert flips a screen to Allen, surprising everyone and getting seven yards. Tyron Johnson picks up a first down. Raiders are missing both corners and a defensive end. Allen gets open and gets inside the Raiders' 15. Herbert to Henry for a touchdown.


Play action pass to Jacobs gets 17. Then he gets 20 yards on a run to the right. Carr goes downfield to Agholor for 30 yards on third down and the Raiders are at the Chargers' 5. Carr rolls out and very obviously pulls his groin and goes out of bounds. Field goal is good. First quarter ends as Mariota warms up on the Raiders' sideline. And he's in after the Raiders force a punt.


Mariota fires one to Waller for a first down. Tough run for a first down. Touchdown Waller on a perfect throw. Herbert finds Guyton on the near sideline for 11 at the Raiders' 9. Field goal ties it. Not a good punt by Cole with a minute left. Touchdown Johnson! Chargers lead 17-10 at halftime. Mariota lunges and stretches the ball for a first down. Jacobs goes over the top for the score. We're tied. Herbert throws to Guyton in the end zone but he can't hang on. I'm not sure he ever lost possession? And Trayvon Mullen might have an equally solid case that he ended up with the ball at the end of that. This is immediately followed by a delay of game penalty on the Chargers. Henry goes to the middle of the field and makes an uncontested catch, then takes the ball to the 12. Mullen's having a rough night — he interfered with Mike Williams in the end zone. That's his third one tonight, I think. Kalen Ballage takes it in. Fourth quarter begins with the Raiders going for it on 4th and 2 from their 42. Mariota finds Agholor through a tight window to convert. Mariota just misses Agholor downfield and... is that Jaylen Watkins laying him out? He's still in the league?


Apparently Gruden was wearing an OAKLAND Raiders hat earlier tonight but he's got a Vegas one on now. Erin says she can already hear the Frank Caliendo bit in her head. Joey Bosa stops Jacobs on third and short. Fourth and 1 with 7:40 left at the Chargers' 9. Mariota is rushed but Waller gets open and bails him out. Mariota rolls right, dives for the end zone... and unlike Carr, he makes it! We're tied at 24. That was an 11-minute drive. Ekeler! Chargers kick a field goal on 4th and 3. No good!


Buck says that was bad all around, as the snap was low and the kick was veering left from contact. They've been playing it conservatively all night against a bad defense with a quarterback who's been nothing but good all season. Waller caught that? He did! Nice footwork to stay inbounds. Waller gets open down the sideline for another big play and his momentum carries him out of bounds. Chris Harris with the interception! Zay Jones couldn't handle it and Harris returns it 53 yards before Mariota tackles him.


Two minute warning with 1:54 left. So how do the Chargers blow this one? They even have all of their time outs. This will be AMAZING. Herbert gets sacked on 3rd and 2! Aikman can't believe they didn't hand off to Ekeler.


Badgley on for a 51-yarder now. Missed AGAIN. Mariota off target for Agholor twice. This time he catches it but only gets nine and doesn't get out of bounds.


They sneak it for some reason, get it, but don't have time to spike it and run a real play. Four seconds left. Think the Chargers will blitz? They're trying a 65-yarder here? Bad snap. Overtime. Raiders win the toss. Mariota goes left and stumbles out of bounds. Heyward almost intercepted that. Another Mariota keeper, this one for 17 down to the Chargers' 26. Jacobs makes a move and gets a first down. They review the spot and move him a half-yard back, taking the first down away. Fullback dive picks it up. 5:29 left. Jacobs escapes another tackle and gets to the 5. Raiders run it into the line twice for no ideal reason. 3:26 left. Pass is knocked down. Field goal is good. Mullen gets called for DPI AGAIN. Bomb to Guyton at the Raiders' 2! Herbert runs outside for some reason. They get Kwitakowski for lowering his helmet. FUMBLE! It's the Holy Roller rule! (Which was created in a game involving these two teams.) The ball goes back to the 1. Herbert sneaks it... TOUCHDOWN! "I was in!" crosses off Raiders (Chargers 30, Raiders 27, OT)

The Bills' kicker almost fell on the kickoff. That's not great. FOX crew and graphics for this one. Broncos start with three runs. Lock takes off and gets to the Bills' 36. New kicker for the Broncos as I believe McManus is in COVID protocol.  Field goal is... no good. Allen to Diggs for 15. Allen keeps it and gets seven to the Broncos' 16. Then he gets rushed and sidearms one to Beasley for a first down. Allen rolls right and finds Knox for a touchdown. Diggs beats good coverage for a first down. Allen to Beasley for 17. Allen pulls the ball down and runs in untouched. 24 yards! Bills muff the punt and the Broncos get it at the Buffalo 35. A much needed break. Lock keeper fools the camera crew. Touchdown Gordon. Allen's completion percentage is 10 points higher than last season, which seems unprecedented. Now Spencer fumbles this punt twice but recovers. Deep ball to Knox gets to the Broncos' 10, then a roughing penalty moves it to the 5. Statue of Liberty HANDOFF to Singletary goes for a touchdown but it's called back because of holding. Damn shame. Two more penalties and the Bills are looking at first and goal from the 30. Coming out of the two-minuet warning, Allen throws a laser to one-time Packer Jake Kumerow for a touchdown. Bills blitz a safety and force Lock into a bad throw. Levi Wallace has a pick six if he turns around. Late flag for roughing the passer comes out. Schlereth doesn't like the call. Good catch by Fant in the corner of the end zone. 21-13 Bills at halftime after the extra point is missed. Bills DRIVING. Pass to Davis gets close to the 1... but not quite. They measure and he got it by the nose of the football. Amin thinks that was a favorable spot. First and goal. I'd still expect a sneak here. Actually, Allen rolls right and reaches the pylon. Lock gets sacked and fumbles! Jerry Hughes picks it up, bobs and weaves for several seconds, then finally gets a block and returns it for a touchdown!


Diggs beats DeAndre Bausby for 55. Bills get stopped on 4th and 1 at the Broncos' 4. That's a Broncos touchdown. Call it a touchdown! Thank you. Diggs was carted off with a foot issue? Let's keep an eye on that. Onside kick doesn't work. Singletary jukes and jives and goes for a 51-yard touchdown to ice it. "Get the tables!" Josh Allen wasn't alive the last time the Bills won the AFC East. (Bills 48, Broncos 19)

So it turns out Al Michaels is in COVID protocols, so Tirico will be calling the next two SNF games and Joe Davis will replace him on his Saturday assignments, starting with this game. Packers win the toss and defer. Jones takes off for 47 yards. Williams follows with a big run of his own. Rodgers to Tonyan to the 1, and then Tonyan scores on the next pass. Don't know how D.J. Moore caught this. Slye hits from 36. That's another big run by Jones. Rodgers steps up in the pocket, then takes off and scores easily. 14-3 Packers early in the second. Kenny King gets called for lowering his helmet on the hit on Curtis Samuel that caused a fumble, giving the ball back to the Panthers. They go for it on 4th and 3 and Smith takes it down to the 1. TEDDY NO. He tried to go over the pile and the ball came out. King picks it up but I don't think he's outrunning Robby Anderson. He goes down after a 50-yard return. Jones kicks his run outside and there's nobody there. Touchdown. 21-3 Packers. Samuel with his second drop tonight. The Panthers can't stop any Packers running back — A.J. Dillon just went for 19. Packers somehow don't score again before halftime. Bridgewater basically recreates the Rodgers touchdown. Are fullbacks making a comeback? Anderson with a catch and run for 15 yards. Bridgewater scrambles for a first down on 3rd and 8. He takes off again, gets hit at the 2, fumbles, but it's ruled that the Panthers recover for a touchdown... that will come back because of offensive holding. They settle for three. Rodgers is sacked. Crosby hits and it's 24-13.


Moore gets free after a short pass and takes it down inside the 20. Panthers... kick the field goal? That's an interesting move.

It also prevents the Packers from running the clock out when they get the ball back (because an onside kick is very likely to fail here.) Panthers come after this punt and almost block it. The strategy worked — the Panthers have the ball with about a minute left. Bridgewater gets called for intentional grounding, moving them back 10 yards. They get 16 back. Fourth and four and the pass is off target. (Packers 24, Panthers 16)

Signal Finder: SF @ DAL, PHI @ AZ, KC @ NO

The 49ers have a fourth-string tackle playing guard, if you've forgotten how that's going. No Elliott, surprisingly. He had a calf injury that suddenly popped up. Both teams go three and out, Richie James fumbles the punt, and one ref signals 49ers ball while another signals Cowboys. It's Cowboys ball! Catch and run by Pollard creates first and goal. Pollard gets stopped at the line, but gets in on the next play. Masters promo ALREADY? REALLY? Mullens' arm is hit and he fumbles! Cowboys recover. This should stand after looking at the replays. TIGHT END SNEAK? That's one-time Oklahoma quarterback Blake Bell taking the direct snap. Dalton to Gallup for a touchdown and it's already 14-0 Cowboys. Niners get a first down finally. Bourne catches a slant for another first down. I see the Cowboys still can't stop the run — Mostert takes a sweep 15 yards to the 2. Mullens to Jordan Reed (!) for a touchdown. Now there's a fumble on the ensuing kickoff return and the 49ers recover! This game SUCKS. Replay shows that the returner was down, so this should get overturned. Big run by Pollard. Pocket absolutely collapses and Dalton loses 10 yards. Zeurlein hits from 48. Mullens goes down on a corner blitz. Wilson does NOT score on a goal-line situation, which is rare. What's with this rotating overhead camera? Who does this help? Mostert gets stopped on third down. 49ers call time out. Touchdown Aiyuk! They call it a pass, as Mullens flipped it to him coming across the line. What the hell is "Tough As Nails" and why are you telling us it's "returning?" The 49ers jump, Lamb makes a great catch over the middle, and Jimmie Ward gets the worst of the hit he put on him. Another protection breakdown for the Cowboys. Zeurlein tries a 60-yarder with 27 seconds left but it goes right. Offensive holding ends any chance the 49ers have at scoring before the half. Dalton loses the ball after a scramble but is ruled down. Shanahan challenges it and I don't think he'll win. He doesn't. Steratore doesn't like the decision. Cowboys punt. Mostert is clearly hurt on the sideline. Field goal ties it. Dalton gets flushed out of the pocket, throws on the run and hits Lamb downfield. Schultz breaks a tackle after  a swing pass and scores. Mullens goes deep to Juszczyk for 30 yards. Reed spins out of a tackle and goes down at the 1. Touchdown Wilson and we're tied again. Interception! Cowboys take over at the 49ers' 29. Gallup is OUT, per reports. 46-yarder puts the Cowboys back in front. Cowboys run a weird hook-and-ladder play that doesn't get a first down and they punt. Anthony Brown intercepts Mullens! Pollard gets two blocks and takes this one to the house. That's that, I'd think. Lawrence hits Mullens, forcing an incompletion. Is he hurt? Field goal makes it 34-27 with 40 seconds left. Cowboys call time out before the onside kick attempt. They recover the kick and Lamb takes off. Touchdown! Well then. Bourne catches a meaningless Hail Mary. (Cowboys 41, 49ers 33)

The Ravens' last two scores have been safeties. That seems uncommon. The Jaguars don't have a punter today, and honestly shouldn't punt again this season. What have they got to lose, more games? Touchdown Dez! (Ravens 40, Jaguars 14)

crosses off Vikings (Bears 33, Vikings 27)


The Eagles have no one left at cornerback. Diving catch by Fitzgerald. This is just pitch-and-catch by the Cardinals to start. Kevon Seymour hits Arnold in the head with his arm after a 12-yard gain, giving the Cardinals a first down. He was literally selling tires a month ago. This is what we're dealing with.


Running quarterbacks have killed the Eagles this season. Eagles say Murray fumbled this but the refs disagree. No challenge. Short pass to Hopkins but he coughs it up and the Eagles recover! Hurts overthrows Ward on the run and is lucky he's not trying to keep Isaiah Simmons out of the end zone. Hurts throws this one away under pressure. It's called intentional grounding, and that's a safety. That's a not-great throw by Murray that Michael Jacquet gets a hand on. Murray gets pressured again and throws incomplete. Cardinals swarm Sanders, led by Jordan Hicks, who may have played more games in two years with the Cardinals than he did in four years with the Eagles.



Barnett makes another stupid mistake with that late hit. Terrible tackling, especially by Mills, leads to a Murray touchdown. Remember what I said about running quarterbacks killing the Eagles this season? Screen to Reagor loses six. Hurts gets chased down from behind. Is that Beau Allen? Then the punt gets blocked! It rolls out of bounds, delaying a touchdown. Murray passes to Chase Edmonds out of the backfield and there's the touchdown that was delayed. Jeffrey somehow stays inbounds. Hurts finds Goedert for another first down. First quarter ends. Golden blows up a reverse for a 10-yard loss. Hurts goes deep to Reagor in the end zone but Peterson breaks it up. Screen to Quez Watkins and he... scores?! Nobody seemed ready for that. Hopkins with a ridiculous catch between two defenders. That's 45 yards. Kirk gets ridden out of bounds short of the first down. Nugent field goal is good and it's 19-7. Is Brandon Gaudin sitting down? It is NOT Beau Allen, sadly. Murray goes down and the ball comes out. Eagles have it! His knee never hit the ground. Sanders gets stopped on third down. Eagles go for it, and Hurts finds Ward for a touchdown. Murray throws downfield to Arnold, who catches a low pass. First down Fitzgerald. That's not a penalty on Robey-Coleman, or at least it shouldn't be. Murray fumbles AGAIN but his center recovers it. Murray rolls left and finds Fitzgerald for a touchdown.


And he'll be catching touchdown passes against the Eagles three years after he's dead. Ertz gets open downfield and is knocked out of bounds at the Cardinals' 25 for a 42-yard play. Very obvious DPI on Fitzpatrick. Hurts keeper goes nowhere. These are some awful goal-line play calls. Ward makes a jumping catch but he's ruled out of bounds. Wait, hang on. Was he in? Booth calls for a review. One angle looks like a touchdown, one doesn't. Call REVERSED. Touchdown. The Eagles change their minds and decide to go for two, which seems weird down six in the first half. They run Sanders up the middle and... he doesn't make it. Cheerleaders in the rafters? Murray scrambles but can't get out of bounds. Snap goes awry but the Cardinals weren't even close to being set. Hopkins gets a first down out of bounds. Murray throws downfield to Johnson, but he can't get out of bounds and the half ends. 26-20 Cardinals. Eagles punt from the Cardinals' 42. Mills breaks up a pass intended for Arnold on third and 12. Reddick brings down Fulgham, who hasn't been heard from in a month. Eagles punt. Jake Elliott actually punted that, as Cameron Johnston... has a concussion? Oh.


Edmonds run sets up first and goal. What the hell? Murray throws it right to Marcus Epps in the end zone. Hurts gets sacked and loses 14. 3rd and 29. That's fine. Reagor gets 23 on a short pass-and run. Eagles don't appear to be punting here, which is odd because they were seven yards closer on the last series and punted. Hurts keeps it and picks it up. Peterson gets called for interference on Jeffery. Hurts escapes a sack, scrambles, and dives into the end zone. Bad snap on the extra point, and Ertz is apparently the backup holder? The PAT never goes off and we're tied at 26.


Third quarter ends. FAKE PUNT! And it's caught by the guy who blocked the punt in the first quarter. That's just rubbing it in. Cardinals have Murray just drop back and pass and fail to convert 4th and 2. Eagles waste this break by going three and out. That's a better punt from Elliott than last time. Good God. Murray to Hopkins for 40. Then Hopkins makes a leaping catch in the back of the end zone. Cardinals lead. Ward moves the chains, as usual. Hurts finds Jeffrey downfield for 40. Is he gonna pull this off? Don't give me hope. Well, that's back-to-back sacks. And then he and Goedert fail to hook up twice.


They use their time outs on defense and get the ball back with 1:28 to go. Hurts somehow finds Fulgham. Peterson breaks up a pass intended for Jeffrey and is furious, claiming HE was interfered with. Fulgham again! Goedert can't hang on to a low throw in the end zone. Hurts throws a Hail Mary too far. One last chance. This one will stay in the end zone... and fall incomplete. (Cardinals 33, Eagles 26)


I mean, yes. Yes, it would. Also the Rams got outplayed by a terrible team yet again at the worst possible time. (Jets 23, Rams 20)

Wait, where's James Brown? Brees back, but this third-down pass is low and incomplete. Mahomes throws up a bomb, a flag comes out while the ball's still in the air, and the Saints get an interception that I don't believe will count. It doesn't. Tyreek Hill makes the catch but gets stopped immediately and actually loses five. Brees gets picked! Bell fumbles, Kelce picks it up and takes off. He scores but this is coming back, as Bell was pretty clearly down by contact. Hill sneaks in underneath and Mahomes finds him for the score. Brees 0-for-5 so far.


Hill makes a catch but steps out of bounds. Touchdown Kelce. Kamara finally gets the Saints' offense going. Brees uncorks one to Sanders for 51 yards down to the Chiefs' 3. Taysom in and he'll take it in himself.



Weird situation here after this Wisniewski play that I'm sure wasn't the actual play call — the Chiefs are going to lose this down, but it will negate the illegal touching penalty in the process. Wait, that's backwards — the call will stand and it'll still be fourth down. Chiefs punt. Chiefs punt again and an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty buries the Saints. Saints end up punting, Robinson fumbles the ball, it goes into the end zone, but the Saints can't fall on it! Hardman got hurt on an earlier long pass, which is why Robinson's back there in the first place. He's gotta just go down. And Anzalone has to grab it instead of just falling on the ball. Wait, how is this a safety again? Free kick return only gets to the 40 and it's 14-9 Chiefs at the half. Saints start the second half. Mathieu drops an interception in the end zone. Murray goes left and reaches the pylon for a touchdown. Saints lead even after the two-point try fails. Sammy Watkins lives. Touchdown Hardman! That's unreal placement by Mahomes on that throw. Look at this:


Whoa! They just tossed Cam Jordan! Touchdown Bell. Chiefs get the two-point try and that might be it. Mahomes goes down and he fumbles! Saints ball and they've got a real chance here. Brees to Kamara for a touchdown. 29-22 Chiefs. Mahomes takes off for 20. Kelce picks up the first down. Chiefs get stopped at the 3 and kick it to go back up two scores, which is the right move. Make them score twice. Touchdown... Humphrey? Who are these guys? The Saints don't onside kick, which I'm a little surprised by. First down Kelce. First down Bell. That's game. (Chiefs 32, Saints 29)

Browns-Giants is classic? Whatever you say, Carrie. I didn't know Bret Beilema was even on the Giants' staff. So Freddie Kitchens will be calling plays for the Giants tonight. Browns by 24. Unless they ever bring down Dion Lewis on this kickoff return. He's into Browns territory! Colt McCoy starts for the Giants, and he was originally drafted by the Browns. "Omaha" is apparently not dead. McCoy hard count gets the Browns. Giants try a fake field goal pass? No idea what that was, other than completely unnecessary. Just run a play if you're gonna go for it.


Giants are also without CB James Bradberry, their best at that position. This was supposed to be Odell Beckham Jr.'s return, too. Flea-flicker screen? OK. McCoy finds Slayton down the sideline for a big gain. Engram can't haul in what would have been a touchdown. Gano hits from 37. Tirico's never not seen the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree in person and he acknowledges he's running out of time this year. Giants don't bother covering Hooper and he gets a first down. Mayfield stands in under pressure and finds Higgins downfield in Giants territory. Mayfield eventually keeps it himself and runs to the 3 on second and goal. Giants lose Hooper again and he'll catch a touchdown. Lewis fumbles into the air but the Giants hang on to it. Again, why is Alfred Morris getting meaningful carries in 2020? Slayton slips in the back of the end zone. Giants go for it on fourth down and Gallman doesn't even get close. He was stopped at the 4. Hunt goes left for 14. Browns with first and goal with 44 seconds left. Chubb gets to the 3. Touchdown Landry. Then he gets into it with a Giants defender and gets flagged for unsportsmanlike conduct. (It looked like the other guy started it.) This moves the extra point try back, and Parkey misses. So it's 13-3 Browns at halftime. Neither team starting off the second half all that well. Talk of Beckham and THAT catch. Mayfield throws a dart to Landry at the Giants' 16. Chubb breaks a tackle and scores, but there's a flag. Clipping on Jack Conklin will take it off the board. Chubb catches a pass in the middle of the field and takes it to the 1. Touchdown Chubb. Another 95-yard touchdown drive by the Browns. PAT makes it 20-3. Graphic shows the two worst offenses in the league reside here. Here's the thing: The Giants are bad. Engram makes a 25-yard catch. Gano sneaks a field goal inside the uprights. Onside kick goes to the Browns. Giants with a useless challenge, like most things they've done in the last several years. (Browns 20, Giants 6)

Curfew was waived for this. 12,000 visitors in the house tonight. They'll see their guys get the ball first. First pass is underthrown and almost intercepted. Steelers go three and out and Derek Watt goes down hard covering this punt. Camera is steadily on brother T.J., and frankly, he looks worried. Ryan Finley starts at quarterback for the Bengals tonight with Brandon Allen hurt. He is not to be confused with Ryan Lindley, who may be the worst quarterback I've ever seen start an NFL game. Steelers absolutely blow up this third down outside run. Bengals also go three and out again. Bad snap! Bengals recover. Finley hits Tee Higgins to set up first and goal. SACK. Austin Seibert's first field goal is good. The Steelers look awful right now. Big-time throw by Finley to Green for 30. Then he goes long for Boyd but it's broken up and Boyd is down. Steelers telegraph a safety blitz but Finley can only scramble for two on 3rd and 5. Field goal isn't even close. A 55-yarder with a rookie kicker on 4th and 3? I wouldn't have done that. Juju gets DETONATED on a short pass and it falls incomplete. Bengals challenge this, wanting a catch and fumble. Call REVERSED. Bengals ball! Announcers remember ex-Steeler Kevin Greene, who passed away today at only 58. Two straight first down passes to Tee Higgins. Gio Bernard picks through a hole and scores!


Snell gets stonewalled on third down. He's at least a yard short. Steelers go for it on fourth and I think Snell gets it. Yep. Ben looks for Ebron, but it's broken up and he takes a shot. Is anybody going to survive this game? It's also the second time Roethlisberger's missed an open Claypool. Interception! Mackenzie Alexander hops up and picks off Roethlisberger, then high-steps out of bounds and takes a late hit to add 15 more yards.


Bernard gets a first down. Finley passes to Bernard for a touchdown and this is turning into a disaster. Levy inadvertently references the Jupiter-Saturn convergence. (Riddick thought it was intentional.) Alexander stunts in front of Juju after forcing an incompletion out of bounds. Seriously, there's gonna be a fight tonight at this rate. Ben gets sacked. It's halftime. Steelers finally get a big play with a screen to Claypool that he turns into a 37-yard gain. Touchdown Johnson! Snell breaks off a nice run. Claypool can't make a one-handed grab in the end zone. The pocket collapses around Ben but he somehow finds room and Johnson salvages two yards with a diving catch. Boswell field goal is good, making him 41-for-41 in his career against the Bengals. 17-10. No drops tonight so far for the Steelers, so something's gotten better. Snell gets STUFFED. Finley takes a big hit (Including a shot to the head that doesn't get called) and still finds Green for a first down. The Bengals run a fake handoff, Finley keeps it and cruises 23 yards into the end zone. He's never scored an easier touchdown and likely never will. Juju gets open and picks up 22. This one should have been picked off. Roethlisberger goes over 60,000 yards passing and it probably came later in the game than we figured. The Steelers get stopped again on third down. They've been awful in short yardage situations tonight. Fourth down pass is incomplete, but there's a DPI flag. Snell cashes in immediately. Steelers do NOT go for two here, instead kicking the extra point. 24-17 Bengals, 5:32 left. Don't know why the Bengals are running back-to-back quarterback keepers with their third-stringer but whatever. That's why they're still the Bengals, I suppose. The Steelers will get the ball back. Pressure forces a throwaway. Ben launches one on third down but it's broken up. That probably could have been interference. Two minute warning. Throw is too high for Washington! Bengals take over. Third and 1 and the Bengals line up in the shotgun. Why? They don't get the first down and call time out, then bring out the field goal unit. 33-yarder is GOOD. The Steelers have a problem. (Bengals 27, Steelers 17)

RANKINGS:
TOP 4:
1. Kansas City (13-1) — Getting everyone's best shot
2. Green Bay (11-3) — Did well to hang on
3. Buffalo (11-3) — Feels like they're getting hot
4. New Orleans (10-4) — Not an ideal result, but an understandable one

BOTTOM 4:
29. (tie) Philadelphia (4-9-1) — Just let it end
29. (tie) Cincinnati (3-10-1) — Rivalry games just mean more
31. Jacksonville (1-13) — You know they didn't even have the No. 1 pick in their expansion draft?
32. N.Y. Jets (1-13) — NO DON'T DO THIS



Posted by at No comments:

Sunday, December 20, 2020

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 14: The Uprising

It's a rematch of the worst Super Bowl of the 21st century! The Rams' Cam Akers casually runs for 35 yards. He's grabbed the lion's share of carries over the last couple of weeks. Kupp is forced out of bounds at the 1. Goff sneaks on fourth down. Are we sure he made it? Oh, OK. Didn't realize he went over the top. Patriots are stopping the run as well as the Cowboys right now. They finally stop a screen to Woods. But he makes a 14-yard catch on the next play (3rd and 12). Goff is called for intentional grounding, creating 3rd and 18. Akers slows down after this catch and ends up two yards short. Field goal is good, and they pick up a flag, so it's 10-0. Still nothing from the Patriots. Interception? Interception! Touchdown! Or not, as he appears to be down by contact. The throw to Woods was low and Bryant took it out of his hands. Review confirms this. Now THIS one's intercepted and it's a pick-six for Kenny Young! Cam couldn't see anything there. Extra point is nearly blocked but it's 17-0 Rams. Newton finds Jamere Byrd wide open inside the Rams' 20. Did the patriots just run back-to-back quarterback sneaks? Nope, that fourth-down play call was worse. No idea what the plan was. If it was a pass, it took too long to develop, and if it was a run, it took too long to develop. Cam finds Meyers downfield for a nice gain. N'Keal Harry converts 3rd and 5. Graphic shows Belichick can't draft wide receivers, which I've only been telling you for the last three years. Cam avoids a sack and picks up seven. Pass to Meyers is short of the sticks. Folk kicks it through, and that sets a new record for consecutive games with a first-half score. Rams get stopped and the Patriots get the ball back with 30 seconds left. Pass is tipped and Meyers not only saves it, but catches it. Slant is incomplete and it's Hail Mary time. They hand it off to White for... some reason. There's a penalty, but it's on the offense. Halftime. Pretty sure Hill got away with interference on Harry on third down. Akers still doing whatever he wants. I don't think we've even seen Henderson yet. This is short. They measure and it's still short. Rams give it to Akers and he picks it up. Fourth and 1 at the Patriots' 4 now. First the Rams try to draw the Patriots offside and fail. Then they call time out. Then the Patriots actually DO jump offsides. Goff rolls right and hits Kupp for a touchdown. Stidham is in at quarterback with 10 minutes left. He throws on 4th and 4 but it's broken up. Kupp gets 22 on 2nd and 21. Woods gets behind the defense but has to come back to the throw and can't catch it. Stidham gets sacked. That's No. 6 tonight. Joe and Troy are going to Vikings-Bucs? When's the last time they did an early game on a FOX doubleheader week? And why was Saints-Eagles not buried? And why did Belichick come back to coach THIS team? (Rams 24, Patriots 3)

Signal Finder: KC @ MIA, AZ @ NYG, NO @ PHI, WSH @ SF (end)

Mike Nugent back? More importantly, Daniel Jones back. He's sacked and the ball is picked up by ex-Giant Markus Golden! He returns it inside the 10! Some things never change. Christian Kirk takes a sweep to the 1. Drake is stopped on third down. Cardinals go for it. They roll Murray out, and Bradberry breaks up the pass in the end zone. Giants fail to capitalize on the Cardinals' failure to capitalize. Murray has nowhere to go and takes off. 34-yarder by Nugent is good. Was he a Cardinal before? (Yes, for two games back in 2009.) Logan Ryan almost intercepts Murray, but Hopkins plays defense and breaks it up. Andy Lee's still playing? Good protection by the offensive line, giving Murray time to find the tight end. More questionable playcalling by Kingsbury leaves the Cardinals out of the end zone. 6-0. Lewis fumbles the kickoff return. Cardinals recover! Hang on, what? The ball was KICKED out of his hands? Blandino says they can't review that part of it. Murray with a high throw. Touchdown to Dan Arnold in the back of the end zone. Jones finds Slayton for a first down, but three plays later he throws one out of his reach. Cardinals run to the line to try to beat the review of this Arnold catch. They don't, and it looks like he couldn't maintain control. It'll be fourth and 5. They'll pass on a 54-yard field goal to punt. Jones is sacked and fumbles AGAIN, but this time he recovers it. The Cardinals are going to get the ball back here. Nugent on for a 55-yard try. Kenny Albert notes that Nugent, Vilma and Kingsbury were all on the 2005 Jets. Kick is short. 13-0 Cardinals at halftime, and they'll get the ball to start the third quarter. Drake breaks one. Maxx Williams down at the Giants' 1. Drake breaks the plane for a touchdown. Hey, look, the Giants still stink. McCoy is warming up as Nugent kicks the extra point, but Jones comes back out for the Giants. He passes to Gallman for a first down. Gallman runs for 14 and the Giants have finally crossed midfield. Bomb to Tate to the 1. Lewis scores too quickly for the announcers. Hopkins left all alone and gains 40 yards. Murray goes down on 3rd and 13 and the Cardinals punt. Jones goes down again and he fumbles again, but the Giants manage to keep it. Shepard makes a tough catch on 3rd and 15 for a first down. Jones is sacked AGAIN. Cardinals add another field goal. Now McCoy's in and HE gets sacked. That's seven today, and four just by Hassan Reddick. Make it five. (Cardinals 26, Giants 7)



ANOTHER miss by Bailey. He looks done.


Something's going on out there, and it's not good. (Buccaneers 26, Vikings 14)

Dolphins are down several running backs. Grant drops what would have been a big pass over the middle. This Mahomes ball is tipped and Byron Jones intercepts it! Wait, that was his first interception since 2017? How the hell did he get paid? They try a wide receiver pass with rookie Lynn Bowden Jr., but it takes too long to develop and falls incomplete. Nantz just jinxed Jason Sanders. Chiefs take over. Reid's not wearing his full face shield, instead opting for this weird configuration of a triangular-shaped mask that only covers his mouth and nose. WHAT? This is a chase down sack. 30 yards! That's more than a breakdown, that's a demolition. Mahomes thought he could outrun the dude, I guess. Touchdown to Gesicki. Oh dear.


Mahomes just didn't put enough on that one. Third down pass is too high for Parker. Field goal is good and it's 10-0 Dolphins.


Nantz notes that Hill hasn't been targeted yet. Two plays later they do and he's in the end zone. Tua throws a deep ball up for Grant, but he can't catch it and Mathieu ends up with it! That's his fourth in he last three games. He gets in Austin Jackson's face afterwards after the Dolphins' rookie hits him after the play ends, Jackson outweighs Mathieu by probably 100 pounds. Three straight plays for Bell. Touchdown Kelce.


Parker returns after the kickoff. Edwards-Helaire back and breaking tackles as the second half starts. There's Hill again. Touchdown Chiefs. PUNT RETURN TOUCHDOWN. Hardman goes to the near sideline and 67 yards later he's in the end zone. 28-10 Chiefs. That wasn't even two minutes in game time.


Kelce converts 3rd and 3 and gets 28 to the Dolphins' 43. Chiefs go deep again. Hardman fumbles and the Dolphins have it. Safety! Xavien Howard picks off Mahomes in the end zone! That's five straight games for him with one. That's also Mahomes' third pick today and this game would be 50-10 without them. Mack Hollins (!) with a catch. Gesicki outjumps Thornhill and that's a touchdown. Chiefs go three and out. There's still 10 minutes left. Dolphins are going no-huddle but this doesn't seem like a very hurried drive. The Dolphins get a pass interference call on Hitchens in the end zone. Tua sneaks it, and after a delay, the refs signal touchdown! This is somehow a one-score game! Edwards-Helaire gets stopped on 3rd and 1. Reid calls time out. Quick convo and Mahomes goes back out. This is going to the right, as Hill, Kelce and Watkins are all lined up over there. Mahomes flips it to Hill and they get it. This penalty will stop the clock and might also help the Dolphins by moving the Chiefs back. Butker on for a 46-yarder. It's good. Nantz notes that they're now up nine because of the safety. Dolphins get a last gasp field goal but the onside kick goes right to Robinson. Nantz and Romo wonder if the Chiefs are better than last year. (Chiefs 33, Dolphins 27)


(Seahawks 40, Jets 3) 

Burkhardt says the Eagles are "slumping." Saints get the ball first... and go three and out. First Hurts play is a keeper. Hurts scrambles for five on 3rd and 4. They've barely used sanders the last three weeks. Is that changing? Reagor gets flattened on 3rd and 8, only getting seven. The Eagles go for it and Hurts picks it up. Eagles suddenly having timing issues. Back-to-back penalties turn 3rd and 1 into 3rd and 11. Hurts goes right but doesn't make it. Eagles go for it again but Malcolm Jenkins buries Sanders. Hill finds an open Thomas for a first down. Slay stops Thomas on third down. Lutz MISSES. Hurts just misses Reagor on a deep crossing route. Quez Watkins gets his first play on a jet sweep. Reagor WIDE open and gets 40! Someone blow a coverage? Hurts keeper gets two on 3rd and 3. Pederson going for it again. Hurts finds Jeffery for a touchdown. Kamara finds a hole. The Eagles intercepted a pass? It's the apocalypse. That came off a deflection. It's only their fourth interception of the season (and linebackers have two of them), which is pathetic by itself and devastating when you consider how bad the offense has been most of the year. Eagles challenge this Ertz incompletion on the sideline. Is his right foot on the ground when he catches it? I think that's the question here. Call STANDS. Moose wonders if it was the left foot that the officials thought came up. Yeah, I don't know about that one. Elliott is good from 44. Taysom zips one past Robey-Coleman to Thomas for seven on 3rd and 4. Hill gets stuffed on third and short. Ward doesn't field the punt and it rolls to the 4. Maddox is heading to the locker room. Hurts keeps it and gets a first down, but doesn't go out of bounds. SANDERS! 82 yards! See what happens when you give him the ball, Doug?



Hill's mostly looked the way we thought he'd look. Goedert breaks a tackle, gets a first down, AND gets out of bounds. Hurts takes off down the near sideline and he'll get out of bounds as well. That's the biggest difference I've seen so far: Hurts is making much quicker decisions. Add five for illegal contact on the other side of the field. Another Hurts run. He slides at the Saints' 8 and calls time with nine seconds left. Elliott CLANGS off the upright and MISSES a 22-yarder. Good God. 17-0 Eagles at halftime.


Block Cam Jordan, please. Eagles blitz and Hill hits Kamara at the Eagles' 10. Now SLAY's down. Why run it facing a secondary that currently consists of Jalen Mills and street free agents? Easy touchdown for Kamara on a sweep. Slay AND McLeod are off with injuries. That's 100 yards for Sanders, the first player to rush for 100 on the Saints in 56 games. Eagles go for it again. Hurts sneak has NO chance. Saints take over.


Duke Riley can't cover Michael Thomas. Hill hits Emmanuel Sanders for a 37-yard touchdown. He held on through the contact. If I'm the Saints, I call nothing but pass plays from here on out. They... do not do this.


Sweat sacks Hill, who also fumbles, but it's irrelevant, and the Eagles will take over. Now Hurts is over 100 yards rushing. There's Ward. Sanders scores after some penalty foolishness. 24-14 Eagles. Hill finds Thomas over the middle. Saints... not exactly operating with a sense of urgency here. Hargrave with a sack. Sweat with a sack on the next play. Burkhardt points this out: It's the two-minute warning and the Saints are stuck having to try a 54-yarder on 4th and 16. No good! HURTS NO. He fumbles and the Saints recover! Thomas again. Hill misses a wide-open Sanders in the end zone. Touchdown Cook! He makes a great catch over Singleton, who had it covered pretty well. Extra point is good. Here's the onside kick. It's a Zuerlein spinner. FALL ON IT, EAGLES. Now there's a scrum. Ungodly things are happening down there. After everyone unpiles, it's Eagles ball. Oh, it hit off an Eagles player's leg. That's why everyone went nuts all at once.


How did the Eagles recover that? Unless it slipped around in all that confusion. Upset of the Year of the Week. Hurts made quick decisions and Pederson finally outcoached somebody. I still feel nothing. (Eagles 24, Saints 21)

The first SNF in Buffalo in 13 years! Tirico and Collinsworth on the call. You too good for the Bills Mafia, Al? After four do-nothing drives, Allen throws up a duck and Mike Hilton intercepts it. It's visibly snowing, but apparently not on the field. This drive also goes nowhere. First quarter ends and the Bills didn't seem to realize it had. Cool shot of Niagara Falls. Cris did NOT go over on a barrel. Tomlin and McDermott were teammates at William & Mary in the mid-90's? Huh. Juju gets a first down in traffic. Ebron with his 6,719th dropped pass in the last three weeks.


Knox can't handle this pass and the Steelers end up with it! It never hit the ground, so is it an interception or a fumble? (For bookkeeping purposes, it was a catch and fumble.) Conner fumbles but the Steelers retain. Roethlisberger to Washington for a touchdown. Everyone's got butter fingers tonight. Diggs makes the catch, bounces off Fitzpatrick, and runs for abut 15 more yards. A roughing call adds 15 more. Steelers turn up the pressure and Allen throws three incompletions. Field goal is good. Taron Johnson jumps the route and it's a pick-six for the Bills! Extra point is missed. 9-7 at halftime.


Singletary gets through a hole and gets 14. Allen to Diggs on a slant, and Nelson just doesn't try to tackle him. Touchdown Bills. Ben gets sacked. Diggs can't be stopped right now. No Joe Haden doesn't help matters. Allen throws over the defense to Davis in the back corner for a touchdown! This is wild.


Steelers putting something together here. Roethlisberger throws it out of the end zone. Bills get flagged for holding, and rightfully so. Easy touchdown for Juju. Ebron actually catches the two-point conversion. 23-15 Bills. Allen finds McKenzie to convert 3rd and 10. That's big. Field goal is good (and the Steelers were lucky to only give up three after DPI put the ball at the 1.) McCloud tries to hurdle Poyer and does not succeed. Long ball to Washington is intercepted by Wallace. He's not down, so he gets up and runs. Allen to Knox for 16. Now they're feeding Zack Moss, and with 3:30 left, the Steelers should probably consider using their time outs. Or not, whatever. I got no dog in this fight. Al won the Ford C. Frick Award! It's excellence in baseball announcing and goes in the Hall of Fame. Tirico wonders how he hadn't already won it. That's two good wins in a row for the Bills. I think they're actually legit. (Bills 26, Steelers 15)

LANDRY PASS? It ends up being a screen to Chubb and he picks up 11. Have the Browns called a running play yet? They may here on 2nd a 1. Nope, it's play action to Higgins, who gets the ball punched out of his hands for the second straight play. This time it goes out of bounds. He heads to the bench. Touchdown Chubb. Flea-flicker falls apart and the Ravens lose two. The third down play also breaks down but Jackson scrambles about 20 yards to get six and a first down. Stewart runs right into Hollywood Brown and gets called for interference. Jackson almost slips but escapes and picks up 13. Edwards gets stonewalled. Jackson finds a hole and follows Orlando Brown Jr. into the end zone. We're tied at 7. Landry fumbles but somehow gets it back despite three Ravens players being on him immediately. They pass up a 54-yard attempt only to throw an incompletion, but there's a flag. Interference on Jimmy Smith. First down Browns. Second quarter begins with highlights of a Cowboys-49ers game in 1977, the only other time two Heisman quarterbacks faced each other on Monday Night Football (Roger Staubach beat Jim Plunkett.) Then Parkey misses a field goal. Jackson slips again and this time he's kept down. Dropped by Higgins, who's having a rough night so far. Dobbins powers through for 17. Then he slips on the next play. Jackson takes it right and down inside the Browns' 15. That's 100 rushing yards already for the Ravens. Touchdown Edwards. Big pass to Peoples-Jones. Touchdown Chubb. That was easy. 14-14. Jackson slips TWICE on the same play and loses 11. Strange intentional grounding call on Mayfield there. His arm was clearly hit as he threw it, redirecting the throw sideways. He looks baffled. During the break, new cleats are brought out for Jackson. He almost runs into his own man, scrambles to the opposite direction, and finds Mark Andrews, who is somehow left open and gets to the Browns' 15. Touchdown Jackson! Somehow there wasn't anyone in front of him when he took off. Hail Mary time. This is LAUNCHED. That's out of the end zone! Chuck Clark ran into the goalpost. Halftime! Jackson with another trademark big run. Touchdown Edwards. Does Mayfield roll out on every pass play? This should be the Eagles' offense. They go down the sideline to Hunt for 26! Yeah, he's inbounds. Hunt barrels through the line for a touchdown. Parkey MISSES the extra point! Jackson finds Andrews in a tight window to convert 3rd and 7. Later he misses Andrews long and the Ravens have to punt.


Mayfield gets picked off! Bowser returns it to the 1! Mayfield waited too long. Dobbins cashes in immediately. Extra point is BLOCKED. That leaves it at 34-20. Facing fourth and 4, the Browns go for it and Mayfield finds Landry. Deep ball to Higgins falls incomplete as pass interference isn't called. The Browns are challenging that the Ravens had 12 men on the field. That's petty as hell and something I'd expect from Harbaugh. (I also don't think I knew you could challenge that.) HOW many? Third quarter ends. Jackson's not on the Ravens' sideline. Protection breaks down and Mayfield takes off, but he can't get the first down. Ravens call time out because they were about to get caught overloaded AGAIN. Higgins WIDE open for a touchdown! They go for two, and the pass goes off Hunt's hands... and is caught by Peoples-Jones!


Lisa reports Jackson has cramps, so McSorley is in because Griffin's on the injured list.


Brown drops his third pass of the night, and the Ravens go three and out. Chubb powers his way through tackles and gets to the Ravens' 9. Mayfield scrambles right and takes it in himself! Extra point is... good, and the Browns lead with 6:14 left. Weird that these two teams' other division makes play next Monday night. McSorley still out there. And now McSorley's down and grabbing his knee. He slipped, too. Jackson suddenly back on the sideline. He's back in on 4th and 5. He rolls out and finds Brown over the middle, and he'll catch it and score!



Ravens going for two up five. Dobbins gets it. Holy hell. Hunt makes a catch for 16 yards. Another pass to Hunt and he gets to the pylon and I just lost my playoff game. There's still 1:04 left. Extra point is GOOD. Andrews breaks a tackle for a first down. Another completion to Andrews. the Browns should use their time outs at this point, because Tucker's not missing this kick. Snead gets six. CALL TIME OUT, BROWNS. Ravens spike it with seven seconds left. 55 yards. Of COURSE it's good. The multiple-laterals kickoff ends with a safety, which is... oddly fitting.




(Ravens 47, Browns 42)

RANKINGS:
TOP 4:
1. Kansas City (11-1) — Almost gave that one away
2. Green Bay (10-3) — I'll have the usual
3. Buffalo (10-3) — I'm pretty sure this is the highest I've ever put them
4. New Orleans (10-3) — This wasn't Sean Payton's finest hour

BOTTOM 4:
29. Dallas (4-9) — They won, but they beat...
30. Cincinnati (2-10-1) — Still a lot of things to figure out
31. Jacksonville (1-12) — Nothing to lose except more games
32. N.Y. Jets (0-13) — And this was a boatracing


Posted by at No comments:

Sunday, December 13, 2020

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 13: Roadkilled

Signal Finder: CLE @ TEN, NO @ ATL, PHI @ GB

Big pass to Rashard Higgins, who had all kinds of room in the zone. Peoples-Jones drops a touchdown. Flags everywhere. That's on the Browns. They call a five-yard pass play on 3rd and 10 for some reason. Field goal is good. Did the Titans just try to throw to a backup offensive lineman on 3rd and 1? Yes, because they're going for it on fourth down. The Browns had it covered, even. Henry probably gets it? They say no! Browns ball. Titans challenge the spot. Call STANDS. Wide receiver pass from Landry to Mayfield! It's still roughing the passer even if the passer isn't the quarterback. Touchdown Landry. Henry FUMBLES! Browns driving again. Browns run the SAME tackle eligible pass play and they get a touchdown!


17-0 Browns to start the second quarter. Titans stop running and Tannehill finds Brown for 40. Touchdown Davis! Great leaping catch. A.J. Brown is down. Replay shows him losing his footing. He walks off and the extra point is good. Peoples-Jones set this poor guy on fire. Touchdown!


Third time to Higgins becomes the charm. Mayfield slides under a tackle attempt and gets a first down. Touchdown on a perfect throw to Higgins. 31-7. Browns are cutting the Titans' pass defense to pieces. That's another touchdown. My God. 38-7 Browns at halftime.


Titans run a play fake and get an easy flip to MyCole Pruitt for a touchdown. That was FAST. Two-point play fails. The Browns have held Henry in check today. Davis with his second big catch on this drive. Whoa! Brown gets hit at the 1, fumbles, but Pruitt picks it up and he scores! 38-21 and now it's getting weird. Chubb breaks one off. Browns add three more. Interception by Sendejo?! There's a flag, though. And of course it won't count because of an unsportsmanlike conduct call on the Browns. Henry with a couple of decent runs. Tannehill sacked on 3rd and 5. They go for it on 4th and 12 and the Browns get caught holding. Don't know why we're involving Batson at this stage of the game. Vrabel throws the challenge flag. This is debatable. Call REVERSED. It's a catch. Pass hits Humphries in the face, he can't control the ball, and it ends up in the Browns' hands. This is solid no-huddle offense by the Titans. Tannehill's doing a good job spreading the ball around. Why is McNichols in on this series? Especially after that holding penalty that'll turn fourth and 1 into fourth and 11? Davis! Touchdown McNichols! 1:23 left. Onside kick doesn't work because why would you trust Gostkowski to pull one off at this point? FUMBLE. BROWNS NO. And Mayfield had the first down, too. Still, there's only 57 seconds left and that probably isn't enough time. Touchdown to Batson. Second onside kick also doesn't work. Thank God. That would have been a devastating loss. (Browns 41, Titans 35)


Dear Lord. (Lions 34, Bears 30)

Taysom is hit on this throw that's almost intercepted, and Grady Jarrett gets flagged for hitting him low. Then he gets sacked. THEN he takes off for 43! He finds Tra'Quan Smith for a score. Falcons getting Jones involved early. Smart. Falcons on the board with three. Hill's starting to heat up, but then he throws a ball short for Thomas that almost gets picked off. Pitch bounces off Kamara's helmet, somehow, and he loses four as the first quarter ends. Lutz MISSES. Ryan goes deep to Ridley, but there's a penalty on the back end. The refs pick up the flag, which would have been for DPI. Vilma and Pereira disagree on that (Vilma would have called it.) Meanwhile, Lutz grabbed his leg after that missed kick and is going to the locker room. Saints force a punt. Taysom misses Lewis deep. Saints going for it on 4th and 7. Kenny Albert notes that Lutz is back on the Saints' sideline. Why would they try to draw them offsides on fourth and 7, Vilma? Pass to Cook is incomplete. Jones again. Io Smith takes it on 3rd and 2 and gets 10 to the Saints' 11. Falcons end up settling for another field goal. A wide-open Sanders falls down in the zone for a first down catch. Two minute warning. Touchdown Cook. That's Hill's second touchdown pass. Ridiculous one-handed catch by Ridley with Lattimore all over him. This is being reviewed and it sounds like it's getting changed to an incompletion, as it bounces when he hits the ground. I'm not so sure he doesn't still have control, though. Call STANDS. Ryan takes a bad sack. That's never happened before. Another field goal. 14-9 Saints at halftime. I'm actually not surprised they're letting Taysom pass so much — the Falcons' defense has been their biggest problem since the Super Bowl and is why Quinn got fired. Kamara scoots in for a touchdown. Lot of punting now. OOPS. Saints challenge this incompletion, and the refs rule it's actually a fumble. Six plays later Hill gets sacked and appears to fumble. Falcons recover. Hill is saying his arm was going forward. I don't think it was. Russell Gage and C.J. Gardner-Johnson get into it and Gardner-Johnson gets the penalty. It does look like he started whatever it was. Ryan overthrows Ridley but there's another flag, and this one won't get picked up. Gage beats his man and dives into the end zone. That's the first touchdown the Falcons have scored against the Saints this year. And they're gonna get the ball back with five minutes left. Ridley with another catch over Lattimore, who he's been working over all game. Jones makes a diving catch over the middle for another first down. Falcons snap the ball at 2:01 and Gurley gets six. Gurley loses yards on this third down run. Fourth and 9. Ryan throws for Jones in the end zone but the pass goes off his hands. I don't get that throw. Hill fumbles and the ball rolls backwards out of bounds. That's about a six-yard loss. Ridley spins away from Lattimore but wastes two seconds before getting out of bounds. Nine seconds left. Hail Mary falls to the turf. Is there a second left? Nope. And thanks to that debacle in Chicago, the Saints are in the playoffs. (Saints 21, Falcons 16)

This Week It Sucks To Be: 1. Trevor Lawrence; 2-7. The Jets' secondary




Seriously, some absolute fuckery leaguewide in these last 15 minutes. (Raiders 31, Jets 28)

How was nothing flexed this week? Broncos-Chiefs won't be any good and this is going to be a massacre. I don't let Wentz throw a pass on any down less than five yards. Oh, well. Ertz back?


Wentz looks for Scott on 3rd and 10, and Scott might have had his arm grabbed? No call, and Elliott is on for a 52-yarder. It's GOOD. Jones can't handle the pitch. Hargrave sacks Rodgers. End around to Reagor. Jordan Howard back, for some reason. Back-to-back sacks and the Eagles are out of field goal range. Rodgers 5 for 5 to start. Rodgers slings one past Singleton to Adams, who is called down at the half-yard line. Slay breaks this one up, but Adams outfights him for the next one. Touchdown Packers. Eagles pick up a first down on a penalty. Wentz sacked again.


Marcedes Lewis takes this one for 36, which is disgraceful. Tonyan gets away from the coverage and fair-catches this touchdown. Wentz finds Goedert for nine and calls time. Another sack. This goes nowhere and we'll go to halftime. YOU'RE calling the plays, Doug. MVS can't hang on. Adams pulls one down between two defenders. Lazard with another big catch. Jones with a nice run. Adams fights past Slay for a touchdown. Hurts is in. Reagor! That's 35 yards. Nate Herbig on for Peters at right guard. Let's make that change permanent. Hurts picks up two yards. Offensive holding call on Semualo kills the momentum, if you believe in such things. Packers being deliberate here. Good defense by Maddox on this ball to Adams in the end zone. No, I'm serious; he got his arm between Adams's hands and broke it up. Now he's down on the sideline as Crosby kicks a field goal. And the big question gets answered: Hurts comes back out for the Eagles' next series.


Hurts to Goedert, then Ertz. Third down throw is too high for Ward and takes him out of bounds. Then Jeffery pushes off on 4th and 9 and gets called for it. Hurts rolls right and Ward gets open for a touchdown. Uh-oh. Reagor drops the punt. He picks it up and... gets some blocks? He's going down the sideline?? TOUCHDOWN??? When's the last time they got one of those? Hurts's next drive only goes five plays.


Jones finds a hole and... uh-oh. He's STILL going. Great tackling, Eagles. That's a 77-yard touchdown. Darnell Savage picks off Hurts.



The Eagles just keep creating their own problems, don't they? (Packers 30, Eagles 16)

Meanwhile, the Giants may have just won the NFC East. (Giants 17, Seahawks 12)

Seriously, this isn't any kind of game, either. Mathieu picks off Lock at the Chiefs' 9. Good start. Mahomes throws deep for Hill but it's off-target. Chiefs punt. AIR YARDS. Lot of short stuff for the Broncos ends up with a 53-yard field goal by McManus. It's early to see Bell, as Edwards-Helaire has been sick (not with COVID.) Robinson gets free for a 20-yard catch and run. Broncos hold the Chiefs to a field goal. Hill almost makes a jumping catch in the end zone but he can't hold on. Wait... Oh my God, the ball never hit the ground! The Chiefs don't realize it! They're punting. Wow. Michaels points out after the commercial break that Hill himself didn't think he still had it, otherwise he'd have been up immediately begging Reid to challenge. Gordon finds a hole for 63 yards! Lock rolls out and finds Fant for a first down. Gordon plows his way to the goal line. I thought he might have gotten the ball over the plane but no. Anthony Hitchens walks off for the Chiefs. Tim Patrick catches the touchdown in the back of the end zone. Hill takes a sweep for a nice gain. Mahomes takes off after seeing the left side of the field open up, and he'll get inside the 5. Direct snap to Bell, who gets stopped at the 1. Goal line stand holds and the Chiefs kick another field goal. Gordon breaks through for 12. I feel like you can throw deep on the Chiefs but the Broncos haven't really tried to so far. McManus MISSES from 57. (That's what you want to avoid.) Twenty-eight seconds is plenty of time for the Chiefs. Travis Kelce sighting! Chiefs get three to make it 10-9 at halftime. Big run by Bell. Kelce with another catch. There's Hill again. Kelce with a drop. Mahomes gets sacked on third down. Field goal is good and the Chiefs lead. Collinsworth points out that Broncos rookie Jerry Jeudy has been silent tonight.


Patrick makes the catch but is called out of bounds. Wait a second. Officials discuss it and call it a touchdown. Yeah, both feet got down. That's good. Broncos go for two up by four but Lock misfires. 16-12. I know there's like one guy in the league who can run with Hill, but you can't give him space in the open field, either. Mahomes off target for Hardman. Then he does his best Aaron Rodgers impression by turning a free play into a touchdown to Kelce. Collinsworth notes the number of players slipping on the field tonight, mostly Broncos. And there hasn't been any weather out there. Broncos punt. Edwards-Helaire hasn't played at all tonight, FYI. Mahomes throws one past a guy in his face and to Kelce between two defenders. Sammy Watkins sighting! Broncos challenge the completion. Call overturned. Hill touchdown is negated by offensive holding.



I'll call it: They won't get the ball back after that. Watkins picks up a first down. Kelce gets nine on 3rd and 12 at the two-minute warning. They try a field goal but get called for delay of game. Reid keeps Butker out there and he makes it anyway. The game ends as it began — with a Honey Badger interception. It was also a lot better than I expected. Thanks for making me look like an idiot, guys! (Chiefs 22, Broncos 16)


Yeah, it appears that this game is only going to the markets that would have carried it had it been on yesterday. Steelers get the ball first. Ebron runs a slant but it isn't long enough. Sims stretches to the marker but he's already out of bounds. "False start, everybody but the center." Well that's no good. Then Juju can't handle the subsequent pass and is NOT happy about it. Moose: "Do not block the man if you can see his name." Logan Thomas has become a good tight end. Washington can't convert 3rd and 11. They call roughing the kicker on the Steelers, giving Washington a first down. Gotta sell it to make sure. Not much else happens afterwards. Sims drops a pass. he was wide open. Everyone seems out of sorts. Washington punts and McCloud gets run into. He's saying he signaled for a fair catch, but there's a holding penalty on the back end. Wait, didn't a Washington player fall on the ball after the collision? Or did the ball not touch McCloud? Somehow it's Steelers ball. First quarter ends with an actual first down. Roethlisberger finds Johnson for 17 on 3rd and 12. Ebron with a jumping catch. Johnson touchdown is called back for an illegal man downfield. Claypool gets a first down. Johnson gets a touchdown anyway. Boswell's hurt, so Matthew Wright kicks his first extra point. Is that a foghorn? Is there a ship on the river outside? Meanwhile, Thomas tries to stretch this pass for a first down. It looks like the Sims play earlier where he was already out of bounds when he did it. That's what the refs decide after Rivera challenges. Washington goes for it, lining Thomas up under center, but the Steelers blow it up. Steelers run a pass to an eligible tackle on third down but it's broken up. They go for it on fourth down and Snell does... NOT make it! I initially thought he did. Washington can't get out of its own end and they'll have to punt. James Washington makes Fuller miss, runs away from Everett and he's GONE. Burkhardt: "James, that is, not the team." Deep pass for McLaurin is broken up. Fitzpatrick slow to get up. That's a lot of blood on Alex Smith's leg. A replay shows he might have taken a cleat to his leg there. (It's not THAT leg. Still, though.) The field goal team runs onto the field, but the ball isn't anywhere to be found. They stop the clock to get a new ball, there was a penalty on the Steelers, so it also gets moved five yards closer. Hopkins kicks it through. 14-3 at halftime. Washington gets the ball to start the second half. Two penalties later and it's 1st and 23. The Steelers can't bring down Sims. He goes for 30! Is Antonio Gibson hurt and I missed it? Haven't seen him much today. Smith goes long to Thomas, who goes down at the 1. Holding on T.J. Watt on fourth and goal gives Washington a new set of downs. Dummy. Touchdown Barber. Another drop by Ebron. Johnson converts third down. Wright field goal is good to open the fourth. Steelers decide to run the ball on 3rd and 10 from their own 10 for some reason and absolutely nothing good was going to happen there.


How have the Chiefs clinched a playoff spot before the Steelers have? McKissic is somehow left open. This has been his drive. Touchdown Thomas! We're tied. Ben with a spin move! Juju gets just enough room to get a first down. Sidearm pass to Juju is incomplete. They'll go for it on 4th and 1. Pass to McFarland? Why? Incomplete. Washington takes over. That's a great one-handed catch by Sims. But he can't bring this one in, and now Hopkins is on for a 45-yarder with 2:07 left. It's good, but there's a flag. Steelers were offsides. Roethlisberger's pass is deflected and picked off! Hopkins from 45 again and it's good!


(Washington 23, Steelers 17)

8:15 to Glendale? Bills go for it from the 49ers' 2. Allen's throwing it here? Incomplete. Mostert back for the 49ers with a big run. Mullens stumbles and throws incomplete. Aiyuk with a tough catch over the middle. Did that hit the ground? No! Nice work.


Juszczyk is called down before the ball broke the plane. Replay shows it's the right call and the ball never actually broke the plane. 49ers challenge. They'll probably lose. Call stands. They go for it and DON'T make it! Bills take over. Fumble! 49ers recover! Mullens fires one to Aiyuk for a touchdown on second down. Beasley for 35. Allen's never thrown an red zone interception. That won't change here. Touchdown Beasley. What... what is this touchdown celebration? That seemed excessive. 49ers punt. Warner intercepts Allen off a deflection but it's not going to count. Allen's sneak is stonewalled. This is a "don't run into the center of the line" kind of night. Singletary takes it outside on 4th and 1 and appears to get there. Allen to Knox for a touchdown. Jeff Wilson bounces off a Bill and gets six. Mullens throws on the run to Aiyuk. Montage of Berman picking the Bills and 49ers for the Super Bowl for about 12 straight years (it never happened once.) I like that the Jets aren't even represented in this Home Alone-inspired animation. (It's Cam and Ryan Fitzpatrick looking in the windows, while Allen sets up the paint trap.) The Bills are still looking for their first MNF win this century, which is wild since we've had two 0-16 teams this century alone. Bills don't seem to be in any hurry to do anything here with a minute left. Oh, there's a pass play. Field goal is good and it's 17-7 Bills at halftime. Wilson takes off on a run. Tevin Coleman loses nine. Mullens to Aiyuk for 20. Gould hits, because of course he does. That's roughing the passer, I suppose. Allen can hardly miss tonight. Touchdown McKenzie, who was pretty wide open. Aiyuk can't catch this ball, juggles it, and Micah Hyde ends up with it. He's got a return here. Down to the 49ers' 7. Allen is forced into about a 33-step drop by the blitz, and the pass to Beasley comes up short of the goal line. A holding penalty sets them back, and they run a draw for some reason, then kick the field goal they were likely going to kick regardless. Deebo makes a tough catch on a crossing route. Bomb to Aiyuk for 49! Juszczyk catches a short pass and this time he scores. That's the end of the third quarter. Dion Jordan's still in the league? He put tread marks on Dion Dawkins and trucked Allen, and the Bills were lucky to recover the ensuing fumble. Diggs picks up a third down. Touchdown Gabriel Davis as Sherman was frozen on the outside. That guy's not what he used to be. 34-17 Bills. 49ers driving. This is... not a touchdown. This pass to Bourne might be? Bourne rolls across the line for a touchdown. Review says he's short, and it looks like he is.


Mullens scrambles and throws it to Wilson in the end zone, but TreDavious White takes it away from him! Riddick and Griese discuss the 49ers' inconsistencies at quarterback, even with Garoppolo healthy (and he often hasn't been.) Is this Josh Allen's best game ever? (Bills 34, 49ers 24)


DURING WARMUPS. I don't know anymore, people. Cowboys start. Wide receiver screen for no gain on 2nd and 24. Jackson and Ingram are both back for the Ravens. Jackson rolls right and picks up a first down. Pass to Brown goes off his hand and is intercepted. Dalton misses Gallup in the end zone. Field goal is good. Dobbins takes off for a big run. Bad snap! That's been a problem for the Ravens all year, regardless of who the center is. The ravens get a few yards back here. Fourth and two, Jackson keeps it, finds a gap, and that's it. He knew at the 20 he wasn't getting caught. HUGE kickoff return by Pollard inside the Ravens' 30 for 67 yards! Gallup catches this touchdown pass. Flag is on the Ravens, so this will stand. Gus Edwards takes off for 36. Dobbins takes it outside but gets cut down. What are the Ravens doing here? Getting called for a false start on a field goal try, it looks like. THEY JUST JINXED JUSTIN TUCKER. Dalton's pass is deflected and Patrick Queen has it! Miles Boykin is wide open, has to jump, makes the catch, stumbles, and scores almost untouched anyway. 14-10 Ravens. Somehow that was his first catch since Week 9. Lamb with another ineffectual catch. Zuerlein misses from 40. Dobbins takes off and gets 30 yards after DPI put the ball at midfield. Tucker makes this one. New streak starting? Refs miss a late hit on Dalton and pass interference on Lamb on the same play. That's no mean feat. Ravens call time out and Joe and Troy wonder why the Cowboys are trying a Hail Mary here, as there's no way they can get the clock stopped if they don't score. Pass goes through Lamb's hands, it looks like. Halftime. Dalton runs away from five Ravens and somehow finds Schultz. Dalton misses Gallup by a lot in the end zone. 53-yarder goes left. Still 17-10. Jackson converts another third and long on the ground, his second on this drive. Great throw to Hollywood for a touchdown. Dalton finds Noah Brown and he gets to the Ravens' 30. Pass intended for Elliott gets tipped and surprisingly not intercepted. Zuerlein misses AGAIN, this one from 52. Edwards breaks off a 20-plus yard run. Why run outside, Ravens? The middle of the Cowboys' defense literally has not stopped you yet. The fullback Ricard takes a hit after a catch. Jackson throws short for Boykin in the end zone and they settle for three. That's Elliott's best run of the night. Pass in the end zone gets broken up and almost intercepted. Chuck Clark breaks up a pass in the end zone but gets called for interference. Replay shows the pass before that may have been intercepted, as Fort's knee landed inbounds. Maybe he didn't have control? (There was no challenge.) Elliott gets stuffed twice. Make that three times. They finally throw it and Cooper somehow gets both feet down for a touchdown. Will the Ravens remember they're allowed to touch the ball on an onside kick? Yes! Touchdown Dobbins. Orlando Brown Jr.: "EASY MONEY!" FOX plugging the hell out of the MLS Cup with Michigan-Ohio State cancelled. Cowboys throw a screen to Gallup for... some reason. McCarthy's one-and-done, right? (Ravens 34, Cowboys 17)

RANKINGS:
TOP 4:
1. Kansas City (11-1) — Almost gave that one away
2. Pittsburgh (11-1) — Not in the best form right now
3. New Orleans (10-2) — Offense is starting to open back up again
4. Green Bay (9-3) — I'll have the usual

BOTTOM 4:
28. (tie) Philadelphia (3-8-1) — This could all have been avoided
28. (tie) Dallas (3-9) — Yeah, that was a white flag
30. Cincinnati (2-9-1) — It's just hard to care with Burrow not around
31. Jacksonville (1-11) — Just trying anything at this point
32. N.Y. Jets (0-12) — It's inevitable

Posted by at No comments:
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)