Saturday, October 5, 2019

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 4: Disturbing Markers

Eagles win the toss and defer. Is that a pop for the Eagles? Sanders gets four before running into Brooks, then Howard goes for 19 to the right. Ertz and Jaire Alexander get into it after Wentz's third down pass sails. Got away with a helmet-to-helmet hit on the punt. Jamal Williams down for the Packers after Barnett gets him with a helmet-to-helmet shot, to the point where the cart is out. That 58-yard pass to Adams was the Packers' longest play this year, which seems odd for a 3-0 team. Aaron Jones spins into a hole and scores.




Not sure why Cena, Rock and Seth Rollins are in a SmackDown ad. That's legitimately good acting by Douglas to draw that OPI on Valdes-Scantling. Is that a facemask? The refs say it is. Brown didn't even need to get involved. That's Adams's fifth catch already. Marcedes Lewis is too old to be doing that. Valdes-Scantling leaps in the end zone but can't corral the ball. Third down pass gets... tipped by Sendejo. Eagles had at least three safeties on the field there. Refs discuss it and they pick up the flag, but it's still fourth down. Field goal is good. Sanders finds a hole on the kickoff return and brings it back 66 yards. Fake screen left, real screen right. Touchdown Jeffery. But a bad OPI call on Ertz wipes it out. Then they pick up the flag and the touchdown counts. WHAT? At least they got it right in the end. 10-7 Packers. Eagles jump offside and Rodgers, remarkably, does not throw a touchdown pass, instead hitting Adams for a 35-yard catch and run, followed by a face mask at the end.




Defense hangs on to force a Crosby field goal. Kickoff goes out of bounds. Wentz sneaks and has to spin for the first down. Ball comes out and Alexander returns it for a touchdown, which the refs let go so they can review and inevitably (one would hope) reverse it, because Wentz was down. They get this right, surprisingly. Wentz gets out of what looked like a facemask but throws incomplete, but he got hit after the throw anyway. No, that was his jersey. Wentz finds Ertz on 3rd and 2. Touchdown Goedert. Extra point is good and the Packers trail for only the first time this season. Fumble! Barnett forces it and Graham falls on it. Eagles ball!




Two Howard runs get them to the Packers' 3. A third one gets into the end zone. Mistakes have hurt the Eagles all season. Just avoidable stuff like that holding call on Barnett. Allison makes a leaping catch on a high throw. Then he catches a touchdown with no one near him. 21-20 at the half.




Jennifer Lopez and Shakira will be the Super Bowl halftime show. You grabbed his jersey, Rasul. I'm surprised this play on Maddox wasn't flagged. Packers challenge that it should have been, and frankly, it probably should have been. Call STANDS? I'm stunned.







Eagles put together three straight first downs through the air. Screen to Howard for 7, then Wentz finds him all alone in the flat and he walks into the end zone. Eagles line up to go for two. Kevin King's all over Jeffery and it falls incomplete. Sweat stuffs Jones. Bradham almost had an interception. Rodgers ducks a sack and scrambles away from four guys for a first down. Pass rush is late again and Rogers finds Valdes-Scantling at the Eagles' 30. Jimmy Graham lives! And two plays later he gets to the corner and catches Rodgers' pass for a game-tying touchdown.




No commercial between the PAT and the kickoff? Buck with a SmackDown read. Aikman: "That's your best promo read of the night." Sanders breaks off a big run. Pederson challenges a pass interference non-call on King, and this one isn't getting changed. It doesn't. Jeffery picks up 3rd and 10 to end the third quarter. Howard runs over some poor dude to get to the 2. Touchdown Howard! Reggie White highlights. Letting him leave was the worst decision in Eagles history and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise. They flagged Brown for unnecessary roughness on that tackle when they could have flagged him for headbutting Jones after the play was over.




Another pass interference, this time on Maddox. First and goal. Packers fake a handoff on third down but there's a mixup and Rodgers just throws it away. Fourth and goal from the 1 now. They're going for it with (:08 left. Goes to Graham... incomplete! The Packers didn't run the ball once down there. Also, Adams wasn't on the field for the last part of that drive, as he was getting looked at on the sideline. Eagles take over. Howard gets seven, then nine. Howard getting fed now. Packers blitz (?) and Ertz gets nine on 2nd and 7. Eagles forced to punt, but they took four minutes off the clock and got the ball from their own 1 almost to midfield. Pederson thought about challenging that, but decides against it with one time out left. Now Cox is down. Jones runs for 15. Still no Adams for the Packers. 1:59 left. Cyprien gets flagged for interference on 3rd and 6. Here comes Rodgers again. Maddox and Sendejo collide and Maddox is down. Two tough catches on this drive. Cart's out. Jesus.




It's been almost 10 minutes in real time. Maddox is wheeled off on a stretcher. Rodgers goes right after Craig James, just up from the practice squad... and it's deflected and Bradham picks it off! That NEVER happens.







See? Holy cow. What a win. (Eagles 34, Packers 27)

Signal Finder: NE @ BUF, WSH @ NYG, KC @ DET (end), MIN @ CHI

Bills smack down the opening kickoff return at the 15. Levi Wallace got away with pass interference. Frank Gore will never die.




Devin McCourty picks off Josh Allen. That's Devin's fourth pick in as many games this season. Pass to James White is a bit high but he brings it in for nine yards. At least Josh Gordon is still here? Ridiculous catch by White on the sideline at the Bills' 3. Brandon Bolden scores in one of the five games he'll be active for this year. Gostkowski MISSES. Is this a Viniatieri situation? Not a great series for Josh Allen, as the announcers point out that he's been inconsistent, and that inconsistent second-year guy who wasn't great in college is who he is right now. Blocked punt! Touchdown! Two drives later is Josh Allen in a nutshell: a deep ball to Zay Jones gets intercepted because it's off target. Pats' offense does nothing and punts. They'll start this next drive at their own 5. Bills challenge the spot on this White run and lose. White picks up another first down. Screen to Josh Gordon for 13. Edelman fumbles but it goes out of bounds. They actually flagged Brady for intentional grounding? Wow. The Pats throw deep on 4th and 8 and get a pass interference call. Brady gets picked off in the end zone by Micah Hyde! Man, that was a bad throw. Big run by Gore and he passes the 15,000 yard mark. Field goal is good. Brady's first start was 18 years ago tomorrow. Excellent catch by Dawson Knox (whoever he is) through good coverage. Bills are DRIVING. Allen goes down via a coverage sack. Field goal is... NO GOOD. 13-3 Patriots at halftime. Imagine getting married at a BILLS game. Allen finds Beasley wide open and he gets inside the Patriots' 10. Allen goes over the pile... touchdown! 13-10 Patriots. Allen held that ball for about six seconds before running for a first down that won't count because of offensive holding. The Patriots have shut down in the third quarter. That's a great interception by J.C. Jackson (his second today!), getting both feet inbounds in traffic while being manhandled. Eagle and Fouts point out that all three of Allen's picks have been on forced downfield throws. Gordon is left uncovered and goes for 31 yards. And he was uncovered because his man fell down. The Bills want offensive pass interference looked at, as they seem to think he was tripped. Play STANDS. Bills hold and the Patriots kick a field goal. This quarter is dragging. Allen finds John Brown who gets to midfield. Fourth quarter starts and the Bills are now out of time outs. Can you tell McDermott coached under Andy Reid? Allen gets drilled and he may be out on his feet. That's absolutely helmet to helmet. Think what Barnett did to Jamal Williams on Thursday night. Allen is up and jogs off. Offsetting penalties here as they also get the Bills for holding.




Matt Barkley is your backup. He puts it up... caught by Jones! With Gilmore all over him, no less. WIDE RECEIVER PASS. DROPPED. ROUGHING THE (first) PASSER. Is this four-down territory for the Bills? Apparently it is as they're gong for it. Barkley throws, and it's tipped... and Patrick Chung intercepts it. How is he playing when he's been popped for cocaine possession? I'm not sure what the right decision is there. I think I lean towards kicking the field goal because there's still so much time left. Now this review is important because the Patriots will either get the ball at their 3 or at their 20 if the interception stands. Reversed. Incomplete pass. Bills come after this punt. Barkley still in at quarterback. Bills tight end Lee Smith gets called for his fourth procedure penalty today. Brady gets lucky with a bad throw — a good one gets intercepted there. Bills with a chance. Barkley to Beasley for 20! Barkley to Know for 19! Barkley to... Jamie Collins for the interception! Man.




(Patriots 16, Bills 10)

Hell of a start for Case Keenum as he throws an interception against this trash-ass defense. This officiating crew has thrown the most flags so far this season, which is important here because Washington accepting this penalty makes it 3rd and 17. Wayne Gallman, filling in for Saquon Barkley, gets 15 back. Giants go for it because why not. Jones completes it to Shepard. Gallman scores and makes it look easy.  Gallman takes off on another big run. Norman grabs his facemask to try to stop him and gets caught, and now he's limping on the sideline. Gallman tries to go over the top but is stopped cold by Bostic. He scores two plays later. Jones gets hit and ends up throwing an interception. Keenum badly overthrows Quinn.




No McLaurin today, by the way. Are we getting close to Dwayne Haskins time? Meanwhile, Dunbar picks off Jones again, and that one was all on him. HASKINS IS IN. First play is a handoff to Peterson for nine yards. In a micro sense, I actually like doing this now, when he's got a short field to work with. First pass ails incomplete, but a penalty gives Washington a first down. First pass that counts is complete to Palmyra, New Jersey's Kelvin Harmon. This'll depend on the spot. First down. Haskins keeps it and runs to the 1. Jabril Peppers defends the first-down pass well. Peterson is stuffed on second down. Washington should go for it. You're not going anywhere this season and your coach might get fired regardless. Hopkins comes in. Cowards. Kick is good.




Evan Engram is fast. Giants in field goal range with 1:20 left. Washington not fooled by the sweep. 2nd and 20 now. Gallman makes the catch, breaks a tackle, and gets 20 yards! Why are they running the ball with 22 seconds left? Jones scrambles and gets out of bounds at the 5. Announcers discuss how Eli could never. Field goal is good. 17-3 Giants at the half. Giants in the red zone. Fumble? Fumble! Washington takes over at their own 2. Pick-six for Jabril Peppers! These teams SUCK. Brenneman: "That's about the only thing that's gone right for a Michigan Man against a Buckeye in a long time." Big kickoff return! Brennaman, who is currently on fire: "Is there a penalty flag? Of course there is." It's holding on Washington. Ryan Connolly, who intercepted Keenum on the second play of the game, is down. Do we really want Haskins to start against the Patriots next week? Do we want to do that to this kid? (Giants 24, Redskins 3)

This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close: We go to Chiefs-Lions, which has been NUTS. Stafford to Marvin Hall gets the Lions to the Chiefs' 8. Touchdown Golladay! And he had on e taken away earlier because the ball slid down his chest. Not out. DOWN his chest. (that's how bad the officiating is.) Now if that right foot scrapes the turf, this will stand. It counts! Lions lead! Chiefs now facing a 4th and 8 with 1:55 left. Mahomes scrambles to midfield!




Mahomes to Kelce for 14. Who is Byron Pringle? Darrell Williams runs to the goal line but doesn't break the plane. The second time he does! Review confirms it. Lions still with a little bit of time.




Stafford finds Marvin Jones Jr. at midfield. Hail Mary falls incomplete. Two seconds left. Might as well try that again. KNOCK IT DOWN! Chiefs survive! (Chiefs 34, Lions 30)




I mean, this is true but it doesn't explain why their defense is also getting rolled.




AND ANOTHER ONE. (Buccaneers 55, Rams 40)

Bears are missing some key guys (Akiem Hicks, Roquan Smith). There's a story behind their uniforms, too.




Trubisky fumbles and appears to hurt his arm on the landing. The Vikings recover, but defensive holding is called. Bears keep the ball and Chase Daniel is in at quarterback. I think this is a career high for attempts in a game for him. Burton fumbles, and Daniel grabs Harrison Smith to stop him from getting the ball. The Bears recover the fumble, then challenge that the pass was never completed in the first place. Call overturned, giving the Bears 14 yards back. Touchdown Cohen. Dalvin Cook is still healthy this season and has been the Vikings' best guy on offense.




Cousins misses Thielen in the end zone. Robinson pushes off and gets wide open for 42 yards. (He was penalized.) This catch is clean.




How the hell is that penalty on the Bears? Eddie Jackson got hit in the face! Amukamara intercepts Cousins, but he fumbles it, but Clinton-Dix recovers. They called it incomplete? Bears challenge. Hmmm. REVERSED. Bears moving down the field in bits and pieces. Fourth and 3. Bears bring Piniero out, then change their minds and bring the punter out, intending to take a delay of game penalty and then punt. The Vikings call time out (turns out they had 12 men on the field), and the Bears bring the offense back out and Daniel completes it to Miller. Daniel scrambles but doesn't get the first down OR out of bounds. The clock runs down, the officials review the spot — still short — and the Bears kick a field goal. 10-0 at halftime. Cousins fumbles on the first play of the second half and the Bears recover. GREAT START, VIKINGS. Field goal is good. Thielen has no catches. Diggs has two. This will not work long-term. Cousins goes for Thielen, but Kyle Fuller tips the ball away. Cousins gets sacked and almost fumbles again. Offensive holding. Good job, dude. That was on Riley Reiff, who was trying to stop Mack and didn't even succeed. Daniel with a bomb to Sims! Romo not a big fan of the quarterback keeper with the backup in there. Bears settle for three again.




Though it may not matter as the Vikings can't even run the ball today. Footage of Romo paying at the PGA Safeway Open on Thursday, when he shot a 70, better than Phil Mickelson, Brandt Snedeker and Hideki Matsuyama, among others. (Had he made the cut, Boomer Esiason would have replaced him at this game.) Nick Williams has three sacks today.




Vikings facing a 4th and 3 and they go for it. They go deep to Diggs and Cousins finds him for 39! Cousins fumbles AGAIN, but the Bears lose the fumble recovery and the Vikings get it back! Didn't we JUST see this? They'll review all of this, and it's determined that the Bears didn't clearly recover it, so it's now 3rd and 35. You know how this ends. It's a punt fest now. Vikings finally putting together a drive. Amir Abdullah's still in the league? Touchdown Cook. Vikings go for two and it gets BLOWN UP. So  much for that. (Bears 16, Vikings 6)

Something is terribly wrong in Denver — that sack was this defense's first of the season and we're in Week 4. Flacco driving late? He finds Sanders for a big first down. Touchdown Sutton! Extra point gives the Broncos the lead back. Minshew time again. Fournette has 220? Man, that roughing the passer call on Miller is almost as bad as the one on Chubb two weeks ago. Westbrook fought for the last 10 of those 39 yards on that pass play. Conley! This kick is going into a 22 mph wind. This doesn't feel like a lock. It's GOOD!




(Jaguars 26, Broncos 24)

Cowboys get the ball first. No Michael Gallup tonight. Bridgewater throws on the run and it's deflected and picked off. Dak scrambles and gets hit as he slides. Field goal is good. Taysom Hill gets 20 off a direct snap, plastering Xavier Woods in the process. Cowboys decline a holding penalty on 3rd and 13. Field goal is good and we're tied. The Cowboys have four former quarterbacks on their staff, including the... tight ends coach? Kamara with a nice run. Michael Thomas catches everything. Bridgewater runs out of time again. Lutz makes it 6-3. Crowd rises as the Cowboys face a 3rd and 4. Dak completes it to Witten, who fumbles, and the Saints recover! They're reviewing this, and Von Bell will likely be ruled down at the point of recovery. That happens, and the Saints take over at their 47. Penalty makes it first and 20. We go to commercial break in the middle of a post-punt rumpus. Cowboys get close on third down, then it looks like Zeke gets it, but the refs say he fumbled. It looks like he's down. That late surge he made will help decide this, as it got him out of the pile. Call STANDS, and it doesn't get any closer than that. I'm actually not sure about that one. Saints ball at the Cowboys' 44. The Cowboys' DB coach is also their passing game coordinator? How does that work, exactly? DeMarcus Lawrence  gets flagged for roughing. Collinsworth tries to defend it, saying he was pulled down, but he still hit Bridgewater low. Clock runs after the Thomas catch and the Saints dump it to Kamara, who gets stopped at the 1. Payton keeps the offense on the field with four seconds left. Pass is incomplete, but it only takes two seconds. Cris: "I didn't even know you could run a play in two seconds." Now the field goal team comes out. I just learned that the clock stops on out-of-bounds things when the ball hits something out of bounds. Field goal is good. 9-3 Saints at halftime.




DPI on Demarrio Davis negates the play he made to break up a pass on third down. Prescott hits Blake Jarwin down the seam for 35 to the Saints' 2. Elliott burrows through the pile and scores two plays later.  Saints Mount Rushmore: Rickey Jackson, Willie Roaf, Brees and Payton. Trash Bag Guy is No. 5, Al jokes. Saints opening holes for their running backs now. Kamara's so tough to bring down, even between the tackles. This sets up the play fake, but Josh Hill drops it in traffic at the 3. Bridgewater slides short of the first down. The ball comes out. There's a flag. The flag is picked up (McAuley explains that the contact on a sliding quarterback has to be to the head to get flagged) and Payton kicks the field goal. See, I'd have gone for it there. Saints retake the lead.  Cowboys get what the announcers and McAuley both think is a gift defensive holding call. Cobb can't handle a pass and the Cowboys have to punt anyway. Ten minutes left. Bridgewater to Thomas on 3rd and 13. Offensive pass interference flag is picked up. Cris: "Good call. Good no-call. Good... whatever that was." Haven't heard Amari Cooper's name once tonight. OK, there it is, when Cris describes how Lattimore has shut him down. Saints get the ball back. With 1:55 left, Al wonders  what the Saints will do if they don't get any closer (they're at the Cowboys' 34.) Then the second-worst thing possible happens and Bridgewater is sacked back at midfield. Cowboys take over at their own 13. Saints show all-out blitz, send only four, and still sack Prescott. Now Tyron Smith's hurt. Cooper's first (?) catch of the night is one he pulls off the turf with 40 seconds left.




This should stand and does. That's an incomplete pass, despite the whistle not blowing. That flag's offensive PI. FOUR Saints on Cooper there. Cobb catches this one in stride got goes down at midfield. They spike it with two seconds left. Saints blitz and that's short. What a weird game and outcome.




"Gold On The Ceiling" plays us into postgame. That's the first time in the Payton-Brees era the Saints have won a game without a touchdown. (Saints 12, Cowboys 10)

Might want to block Devin Bush, Bengals. Just saying. Steelers fumble on their second play and the Bengals recover. Remember, A.J. Green won't be back for at least three weeks. Dalton missed two guys in the end zone and the Bengals will have to settle for three. Conner loses three on fourth and 1! Joe Haden drops a sure interception. He HAD it and lost his grip as he went to the ground. This is a terrible offensive pass interference call on Holton. Tomlin challenges it! Call STANDS. That's bad.




Tessitore says that Tomlin's said that pass interference has become a moving target. So it's first and 20, and Rudolph finds newcomer Nick Vannett for 11. Steelers can't convert and have to punt. Bobby Hart can't handle T.J. Watt. I don't know how Rudolph got that pass through, but James Conner caught it clean and got through traffic to score. "Filthy Brady" is a Bengals checkdown. Love it. This is Dalton's 124th start as Bengals quarterback, passing Boomer for second all-time. Strip-sack! Steelers ball! They've been throwing to their backs a lot tonight. Steelers' offensive line starting to assert itself. The Bengals don't have very many answers right now. Snoop's doing the halftime pre-filmed black-and-white performance video. Steelers facing a 4th and 7 and they'll bring on Chris Boswell. It's good.




Talk turns to Vontaze Burfict, who's had his own infamous moments in this rivalry and got nothing less than what he deserved. Also, John Parry, ESPN's rules guy, was the referee when Burfict scrambled Antonio Brown's brains in the playoff game in 2015. 10-3 Steelers at halftime. Bill Cowher and Hines Ward go into the Ring of Honor (which is why Cowher wasn't on set at The NFL Today) Rudolph gets pressured out of the pocket and Vannett makes a great rolling catch to get a first down. Conner takes a handoff from Jaylen Samuels and fights through tackles to the Bengals' 2. Another direct snap to Samuels, and he keeps it himself and scores easily. Bengals immediately go three and out. Seriously, that may have taken a minute. No one covered Dionte Johnson. 43 yards later, it's 24-3. The Bengals' defense has fallen off badly from recent years. Dalton gets sacked twice in three plays.




Bengals finally working on a drive. Third and goal pass is too far for Eifert. Fourth down. Bengals go for it, and Dalton throws a terrible interception into the end zone. Oh, look, a head-on collision in a Bengals-Steelers game. And now we've got a donnybrook. Booger: "There'll be better days for the Cincinnati Bengals, just not tonight." That's a bold statement. (Steelers 27, Bengals 3)

RANKINGS:
TOP 4:
1. New England (4-0) — Is this a defense year?
2. Kansas City (4-0) — Learning to take punches
3. New Orleans (3-1) — Life without Brees about to get easier
4. Dallas (3-1) — Got completely shut down

BOTTOM 4:
29. Cincinnati (0-4) — Standard
30. N.Y. Jets (0-3) — Seriously, imagine getting mono as an adult in 2019
31. Miami (0-4) — The Panthers — the Florida Panthers, that is — may win before the Dolphins do
32. Washington (0-4) — Don't do it, Jay

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