Monday, September 3, 2018

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth: Ultraviolence

Why is CBS so much better at these?




Patriots get the ball first. There's the first big play from Cooks.




Pats pass up 48-yard field goal to go for 4th and 2. They start out with five wide before calling time out. They come back, stay going for it, and Brady hits Amendola. Sack! Pats end up settling for three. It's LOUD. Lot of Fournette so far, both in the running and passing games. He stumbles for a first down. Drive dies when Bortles throws behind Marquise Lee on a crossing route and Lee can't hold on. Jaguars defense holding strong so far. A lot of Fournette may be the Jaguars' best plan here. Yeldon's knee is clearly down inbounds. 21 years ago is the basis for this comeback from commercial. Another big play by Grant out of the backfield. Who is this? Touchdown Marcedes Lewis!




The Pacific Rim sequel is coming out in March? This isn't a great Patriots offensive line. The Jaguars can get to Brady, and if you hit him in the mouth a few times, you have a chance. Seriously, who is this Corey Grant dude? He may not be on the Patriots' copy of the roster. Fournette again. First and goal jaguars. Touchdown Fournette!




Nantz notes that we haven't seen Gronkowski yet. On cue, Brady goes to him but the pass is broken up. Second time is the charm as the Pats get 20. Fowler sacks Brady on 3rd down. Jags exercising control right now. I don't think that's a catch but there was a false start so it doesn't matter anyway. How do you even have a false start coming out of a timeout, anyway? Did Mike McCarthy take over the Jaguars? And a third down conversion is reversed because of delay of game. Bortles runs around and gets sacked.




The Patriots don't really have a pass rush. Jaguars are hurting themselves with penalties now — Church just went helmet-to-helmet on Gronk and that was clear as day. Then Bouye pushes Cooks out of bounds and that's another penalty. That sets up Brady to Cooks, who gets to the 1, and then James White rushes in for a touchdown. Jags take a knee to go into halftime up 14-10.




Bortles is 15 of 17 after that Yeldon conversion. Lambo out to try a 54-yarder? GOOD. Brady finds Chris Hogan in a hole in the middle of the field for their first third-down conversion. Also, no Gronk to start the second half. Cooks has a touchdown bounce off his hands. Pats blitz and get to Bortles. Back-to-back three-and-outs. Fournette turns nothing into something. Romo calls out the crossing patterns and Bortles still hits Lee for a first down. Then Lee powers past Eric Rowe for another first. Lambo from 43. GOOD. Double pass? Belichick's desperate. FUMBLE?!?! Myles Jack thinks he has it. Ruling is Jaguars' ball.







God, that's close. It's Jaguars ball... but they rule that Jack was touched down. No score. Very important for the Patriots to stop them right afterwards.




Brady finds Amendola to pick up 3rd and 18. FLEA FLICKER. CAUGHT. Touchdown Amendola and UH-OH.




Big catch by Hurns to pick up that 3rd down. Don't really understand throwing deep there. Bad PI on Ramsey. Telvin Smith saves the Jags so far with that third-down pass breakup. Jaguars are calling too many pass plays.




And then they give up a big punt return to Amendola and the Patriots are already in field goal range. That's a catch. And while we wait, Jack is being helped off. Two-yard sneak by Brady? That's a new thing. Marcell Dareus down for the Jags now. Touchdown Amendola in the back of the end zone and that's the game. Blake Bortles can't do this. I've never been more confident about anything in the world. Bortles finds Dede Westbrook for 29 yards. James Harrison sacks Bortles, who fumbles, but the Jaguars recover, delaying the inevitable. Fourth and 14 now. Legitimately great play by Stephon Gilmore to break that pass up.




Dion Lewis runs for 15 yards on 3rd and 9 and that's it.




Yep, the bad guys win again. (Patriots 24, Jaguars 20)

KICK OFF ALREADY GOD. Najee Goode starts at middle linebacker for the Eagles, their fourth this season. McKinnon spins for a first down. Vikings finding a little success running outside. Eagles are scrambling and Rudolph escapes and catches a lob for a touchdown. CURLING. Roll out to Agholor. Foles takes a shot deep for Smith but he can't bring it in. Burton didn't need to jump there. Then they run into the punt returner after he called for a fair catch. Diggs gets popped in the back. Interception! Robinson reverses field. TOUCHDOWN!




Ajayi getting heated up. Foles finds Ertz to pick up 3rd and 10. Blount bashes his way into the end zone. Eagles up 14-7.




McKinnon with another first down. Fumble! Eagles ball! Derek Barnett got to Keenum and knocked it out. Foles is straight-up trapped in this pocket. Another bomb. TOUCHDOWN JEFFERY! No one was near him. Vikings seem shook. No Xavier Rhodes? Huh. That's worth watching. Ertz! Rhodes back in, we're told. Another big run by Ajayi gets them into the red zone. They have all three time outs? Never mind then. Field goal is good. 24-7 Eagles at halftime. Enjoy some Upper Midwestern shade:




Eagles come out running again. Vikings' blitz is a tad late and Jeffery gets a first down.
TOUCHDOWN SMITH! That's his first catch of the year. (I'm exaggerating.) Off a flea-flicker, no less. That's cold, Doug.




Jay Glazer on the field already talking about what Pat Shurmur faces with the Giants. Jarius Wright stumbles out of bounds, preventing a touchdown. McKinnon gets a couple of first downs. Vikings need a touchdown here. Not sure what happened between Keenum and Thielen on that 3rd down pass. Thielen just stood there like he thought that throw was going somewhere else. Vikings going for it and they should. Did he catch that? Refs signal touchdown! No, that hit the ground. Eagles take over. Bradley Cooper's here, no surprise. Barkley's here! (Charles, not Matt.) That's great play design. Ertz is feasting tonight, which is really remarkable because this Vikings defense has murdered tight ends all year. Agholor! It's stunning what the Eagles have done to this Vikings' defense. TOUCHDOWN. This is wild.






McLeod drops an interception. Vikings go for it again and it's incomplete. This team is two years ahead of schedule.





Buck shouting out two retiring NFL Films cameramen. Keenum throws to a tightly covered Thielen, Darby picks it off, Thielen knocks it away only for Corey Graham to ALSO pick it off.







Aikman talking up Eagles OL coach Jeff Stoutland, who's a holdover from Chip Kelly's staff.
Sudfeld! Light the fuse.







Don't sing, Terry. NOW you can sing, Lana. (Eagles 38, Vikings 7)

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