By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 7: Dropping The Bar

This has the makings of a low-scoring affair. Like, one team may not crack double digits. I don't know why the 49ers are doing the same things that didn't help them against the Giants on Sunday against a better defense. Seriously, they got to the NFC title game last year by not relying on Alex Smith. Why change that? Meanwhile, the Seahawks keep literally letting opportunities slip through their fingers, which isn't smart considering you only get so many of those. Hey, a pass! Hey, a touchdown! Not sure I was expecting that after this game turned into a boxing match in the second half. That might do it, actually. Bad throw, rook. GORE! GORE! GORE! Bad throw, Alex. More Gore, of course. A quarterback draw? The 49ers must not think the Seahawks can get seven points, and frankly, they're probably right. That was a weird sequence with the challenge and then the Seahawks calling time for no apparent reason. The league's best punting is in the Bay Area. Wait, what, A flag? Chop block in the end zone for a safety?! Okay, what's going on? They're... measuring downfield? Harbaugh just took two points off the board and the line was 7.5!!!

God I love Jim Harbaugh. He keeps pissing people off with the littlest things. Like declining a safety with huge gambling implications.
— Zach Harper (@talkhoops) October 19, 2012

Ladies and gentlemen, Jim Harbaugh just trolled Las Vegas. (49ers 13, Seahawks 6)

Signal Finder: WAS @ NYG, BAL @ HOU, TEN @ BUF (end), DAL @ CAR (end), NO @ TB (end), NYJ @ NE

This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close: Every time I see Justin Tuck's facemask, I feel like I've never seen it before. It's uncanny how Shanahan finds these guys to just run for 100 yards whenever they feel like it. These defenses have not played well. 26 passes to five runs? Is Reid calling the Giants' plays? And now we're seeing some stupidity by both quarterbacks.

RGThreeceptions aren't as fun as Eli or Romo because even though he plays for the Skins, I kinda dig his style
— TH, if you will (@tholzerman) October 21, 2012

I know the Redskins have given the Giants problems recently, but how is this a game? Either JPP or the Gangnam Style dance just jumped the shark; I'm not sure which yet. The Redskins are now in the situation the Eagles put themselves in against the Steelers: you went for it back there, you might as well do it again. Man, Webster's been getting picked on even when they don't actually throw the ball. Wait, what? His knee may have been down. Oh, never mind. Seriously, Eli? That was terrible. And what's with the pitch to the tight end on third down, then kicking a field goal here? This division sucks. And now the Giants throw on first down with 5 minutes left? What is going ON up there?

He speaks for the entire NFC East outside of New York, btw RT @unsilent: I kind of love Kevin Gilbride, you guys.
— TH, if you will (@tholzerman) October 21, 2012

Griffin just ran around for about two hours back there before that fourth down conversion. The pass was the easiest part. Are you kidding me? There's that Giants defense for you. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? There's that Redskins defense for you. I've grown to hate the salsa shimmy. It just looks stupid. Aaaand that'll be that. Those last two minutes were something. The six minutes before that were the complete opposite of that something. (Giants 27, Redskins 23)

The Ravens without their leader, the Texans coming off a nationally televised ass kicking... this may have been expected, but not to this extent. Joe Flacco played football like Joe Shlabotnik played football. The AFC is terrible so far. (Texans 43, Ravens 13)

Hasselbeck's TD pass to Washington happened at the same time as RG3's go-ahead pass, by the way. Also, Chris Johnson rose from the dead. (Titans 35, Bills 34)

This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close II:

RT @calvinwatkins: Here's a 1st: A Redskin talked to the Cowboys team last night. Joe Gibbs addressed the team.
— Dan Graziano (@espn_nfceast) October 21, 2012

Maybe it was sabotage. Or maybe the Cowboys legitimately aren't very good. I'm thinking both, actually. (Cowboys 19, Panthers 14)

Why bring the creamsicles back? They signify nothing but pain and misery. Of course, that may change if the Bucs can finish this drive and tie this game. Dallas Clark lives! What's gotten into Vincent Jackson? Touchdown! Wait, what? He was out of bounds? Oh, he was pushed out of bounds then came back in. Tough break. That's how the Bucs would lose back in the bad old days. (Saints 35, Buccaneers 28)

This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close III: So all the nice work the Jets did on that drive gets canceled out in 15 seconds. Covering Gronkowski would probably help. Sanchez on the safety: "Oh, crap, ball's loose in the end zone. I can't let them recover it; it'll be a touchdown. Should I just fall on it? I could just — oh, no, here comes Wilfork. If I fall on it, he'll fall on me, and I may die. I'll just get it out of here like it's an undisarmable bomb." That the Jets are only down six at halftime should raise eyebrows on both sides.

Good thing the Jets traded for Tebow so they could continue not to use him on the goal line.
— mark schlereth (@markschlereth) October 21, 2012

Again: Covering Gronkowski would probably help. Dustin Keller lives! This is a classic case of the resistible force overpowering the movable object. Stephen Hill just dropped first and goal. And Devin McCourty just fumbled away the Pats' lead. Terrible timing for Sanchez to get sacked and he was taking some heat in the chat room for not throwing it away, but he'd almost gotten away from Hightower and probably would have chucked it or taken off and run. Again: COVERING GRONKOWSKI WOULD PROBABLY HELP. What? Sanchez fell on that sack like he tripped over something. Ball's out! That's such a Jets way to lose. And if you're a Patriots fan, are you the least bit reassured right now? (Patriots 29, Jets 26, OT)

Props to the #Jaguars and the Make-A-Wish Foundation for letting Chad Henne fulfill his dream of impersonating an NFL quarterback.
— Chris Medlin (@chris_medlin) October 22, 2012

Matt Leinart: "You have got to be kidding me with this. I could outplay both of these clowns in my sleep. I've done it on Madden 13. I did it in Madden 12! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME. I COULD HAVE SAVED YOU FROM THIS TORTURE. I WILL COME OVER THERE RIGHT NOW AND HUMILIATE BOTH OF YOU WITH ONE HAND TIED BEHIND MY BACK."
Carson Palmer: "Dude!"
Matt Leinart: "...that was out loud, wasn't it?"
Carson Palmer: "Just a little bit."
Matt Leinart: "...damn."
(Raiders 26, Jaguars 23, OT)

That Suh sack on Cutler looked weird but was perfectly legal. I don't know how Brandon Marshall or anyone else is saying something about a leg whip because there wasn't one. Jason Campbell not getting a starting gig baffles me — almost half the teams in the AFC would take him right now. The Lions are in trouble. (Bears 13, Lions 7)

RANKINGS
TOP 4:
1. Atlanta (6-0) — Could probably play better
2. Houston (6-1) — Short memories are crucial
3. Chicago (5-1) — Back to battering and bruising
4. San Francisco (5-2) — Should stick with the basics

BOTTOM 4:
29. Carolina (1-5) — Newton embroiled in controversy again
30. Jacksonville (1-5) — Could use a quarterback or two
31. Kansas City (1-5) — At least no more damage was done
32. Cleveland (1-6) — Maybe new ownership will help