Maybe someday, Houston Texans. Maybe someday. (Colts 20, Texans 17)
Cardinals-Bears? WEAKSAUCE. Oh, you can't do that. Marino, later: “Maybe he oughta try hitting Kurt Warner instead.” Check out the Cardinals actually running the ball well here. Nice adjustment by Olsen on the first touchdown. Where were these Cardinals last week? This Bears defense is getting used and abused and Fitzgerald should be paying Charles Tillman tolls. Oh, I thought Fitzgerald had stepped into the end zone, not just swung the ball around the pylon. I didn't know the Cardinals had switched to a 3-4. That reverse to Breaston looked like it was doomed from the start. Anthony Becht lives! And this is officially a beatdown. LOL at Fitzgerald helping Tillman up. It's the least he could do, I suppose. (Cardinals 41, Bears 21)
You have to wonder how much of a difference coordinators really make because the Ravens' defense just isn't the same this year. They're cutting themselves to pieces with penalties on top of it too. That's not a good spot and... the Ravens are challenging it. They should win this one. Yep. That's the biggest gain they've made on offense today, I think. I told you last year that Hall and Joseph were the two best players on what was then a bad Bengals' defense, and the rest of the unit has caught up this year. (Bengals 17, Ravens 7)
I'm disappointed this wasn't the targeted curbstomping we usually get from Brady whenever someone disses him as pointedly as Joey Porter did. (Patriots 27, Dolphins 17)
I'm Sorry You Had To See That... Oh, Wait, You Didn't: Jaguars 24, Chiefs 21)
Creamsicles! Bucco Bruce! That was not an era worth celebrating. You really can't let a quarterback fake you out with a move like that. Did I hear that right? Rodgers has steel plates in his shoes? Forcing Smith to cut back inside on the kickoff return pretty much saved that one. I honestly have little recollection of Freeman playing in college and wasn't sure why he was so highly regarded but he's done some good things that I've seen. Hmmm. I think you go for it. I mean, you haven't won a game yet. Touchdown! And then the Packers don't bother covering Clayton on the two-point conversion afterward. You know who's bad is Daryn Colledge. I also didn't realize the Packers had lost seven of eight here. Jebus. Cadillac: “We won!” (Buccaneers 38, Packers 28)
This Week It Sucks To Be: 1. Larry Johnson; 2. Tommie Harris; 3. DeAngelo Hall; 4. Charles Tillman; 5. Kris Brown
This is the first time Rivers and Eli have faced off, yes? That was... strange. Coughlin's all “What happened?” and he still might not know. It looked like Tynes hitched, then just stopped and nobody knew what to do next. The Giants are committing bad penalties like it's 2005. At least their defense is holding up. Did Smith even catch that? This is big. I'm also not sure the Giants know it wasn't a first down. That's an awful lot of time to put back on the clock. That didn't go well at all for the Chargers. Hey, Kevin Boss is back. Oh, that'll be that then. Wait, what? Why aren't the Giants going for the end zone? They blew an opportunity there – this game should be over. You know who's (finally) good is Vincent Jackson. Seriously, he's having a big year and he was much more open than he should have been. Lights Out, indeed. (Chargers 21, Giants 20)
100! If the Cowboys don't come out spitting fire and brimstone then they've got serious heart problems. Fokou? Oh, right, Gocong's out. I should have known that. You gotta catch that, Maclin. It's hard to throw a ball too high for Miles Austin to catch it but Romo's done it twice already. Oh, crap. Peters is hurt again? At least Herremans is back to slide over to left tackle. I liked McNabb's thoughtful pose in that “Under His Wings” graphic about the young guys. Now both teams appear to be having protection problems. Hobbs' reaction when he turned around and saw the flag was priceless. And by the way, thanks for that graphic about both of Reid's losses to the Cowboys in Philadelphia coming in prime time. The seams have been open all night, especially for the Cowboys. Wait, what? Oh, this is the same thing with Eli from the Giants game last year. Fokou's not having a good night. Wow, that was not a good throw by Romo. Peters didn't move! McNabb really should have gone somewhere else on the second pick – Maclin was too well-covered. Now we're getting into the drudgery. OK, looking at this replay, I don't see how McNabb didn't get that. Wow. That's gonna hurt. Well, you knew the Cowboys were going to try to find Austin again at some point. This is a much harder call than Al and Cris seem to believe it is. Fourth and 11, down 7, under six minutes left, and your only real choices are punting or a 52-yard field goal. That didn't look good and I'm surprised Akers made it. Well, that sucked. When's the last time the Eagles won on Sunday night? (Cowboys 20, Eagles 16)
Ty Law arriving on Friday and playing is oddly hilarious. Tirico: “We've been here longer than him.” And Ryan Clark is... not playing. Not that that's a surprise. That's the first interception Orton's thrown to a defensive back all year, believe it or not. Hey, it's the Broncos' other first-round pick. I'M MIKE WALLACE. And this just in: the Pittsburgh Steelers have scored an offensive touchdown again. Not surprised to see Parker get some run tonight – I imagine you have to rest everybody at altitude. That said, Mendenhall's pretty much earned his spot as the guy right now. Did Hines Ward just jump over Champ? He sure did. Well, that'll be that. (Steelers 28, Broncos 10)
FANTASY REPORT
aPaFL (4-5, L3): Even after all these years, you still can't leave points on the bench against Sven. Even if they're Greg Olson's two garbage-time touchdowns in the second half of the Cardinals' blowout. I'd started Dallas Clark, who had 12 catches but didn't score on any of them, and I lost by seven.
Jacksux6 (7-2, W3): This is a welcome change – the running backs lead the way for once as both Turner and Addai score twice and get me 65 total points.
Lincoln Continentals (7-2, W1): And the same thing here as Mendenhall basically carries me. I'm in a five-way tie for first.
RANKINGS
TOP 4
1. New Orleans (8-0) – Broke Panthers' home hex
2. Indianapolis (8-0) – Just like last week, you gotta win games like that one
3. Minnesota (7-1) – How did Favre injure his groin on his week off? Wait, don't answer that...
4. (tie) New England (6-2) – Don't look now, but...
4. (tie) Denver (6-2) – Offense struggles for second straight week
BOTTOM 4
29. Detroit (1-7) – Johnny: “OK, THIS cracks me up: The Lions get spotted 17 points – AND STILL LOSE.”
30. Kansas City (1-7) – Tearing the rest of it down one brick at a time
31. Washington (2-6) – Hall's sideline throwdown most fight they've shown all year
32. Cleveland (1-7) – Didn't play, didn't notice the difference
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