We recognize that some of you may be new, due to the promotion. What follows are the opinions of one solitary man, opinions reached after painstaking research on the opinions of other solitary men. Place as little stock in these as you possibly can, because there have been years where I've been catastrophically wrong. Like last year, where neither of my Super Bowl teams even made the playoffs. Playoff seeds are in parentheses.
NFC
EAST
(1) Philadelphia – Even though I'm terrified by all the turnover and problems on defense, I think I ultimately went this way because Donovan McNabb's a better quarterback than Eli Manning and this looks like a team that can score enough points to overcome its defensive issues, which may well sort themselves out.
(5) N.Y. Giants – The G-Men might actually have the best defense in the league, or at least have the personnel and potential for it. But we saw how one-dimensional their offense became last year when Plaxico shot himself in the foot, and the always-reliable Amani Toomer isn't around anymore either. They're a playoff team, but the young receivers need to develop if they want to think Super Bowl.
Dallas – The Cowboys still have plenty of talent on paper, but they seem to lack heart and discipline and are running out of scapegoats. This could go well, or this could become a disaster, especially with their December schedule; they could lose their last five games (at Giants, San Diego, at New Orleans, at Washington, Philadelphia.)
Washington – I don't see it. Even with Albert Haynesworth and his huge new contract, they still don't do anything better than any of the other teams in the division. Plus, somebody's got to lose these division games.
NORTH
(3) Green Bay – Yeah, I'm bucking the trend here. It's how I roll. Seriously, Aaron Rodgers will put up the best numbers of any quarterback in this division, and the defense, which was the root of almost all of the Packers' problems despite having good players on it, can't – and won't – get much worse.
Minnesota – I know. Adrian Peterson. The defense. I KNOW. But I also know that Brett Favre isn't capable of handing off 35 times a game. He'll also be 40 in 30 days. If he has enough left and can show even a little bit of restraint, the Vikings could be a Super Bowl team. If he gunslings the Vikings into disaster – which is what I see happening – he'll cost 20 people their jobs. Including himself. And, ironically, Tarvaris Jackson.
Chicago – The Bears made the move the Vikings probably should have made in getting Jay Cutler. But his wide receivers are questionable at best and the defense needs Brian Urlacher to return to form for this crew to be taken seriously this year.
Detroit – It actually can't get any worse. And they went on a similar free agent shopping spree last year and ended up with zero wins and a quarterback who probably wasn't the best player on his team in college. But this space says it'll start to get better on Nov. 1.
SOUTH
(2) New Orleans – New defensive coordinator Gregg Williams has a reputation for reviving defenses. The offense needs no reviving, and I see Reggie Bush having a big year, which will only help Drew Brees and company.
(6) Atlanta – I'm fully aware that the Falcons have somehow never had back-to-back winning seasons. Seriously, that seems almost impossible. Despite that, I get a real sense this time that things are different. The Tony Gonzalez trade was good for all parties involved.
Carolina – Mostly because they won the division last year and there hasn't been a repeat winner in the last six or seven years. Their injuries on defense are going to hurt them, and I don't see the Julius Peppers thing ending well at all.
Tampa Bay – The Bucs are in full rebuilding mode after probably waiting two weeks too long to fire Jon Gruden. Byron Leftwich is a good stopgap until top pick Josh Freeman is ready, but don't expect too much from Tampa this season.
WEST
(4) Seattle – Assuming Matt Hasselbeck stays healthy and their WR corps doesn't get sliced and diced by injuries again, the talent level is about the same as when the Seahawks were ruling this division, Plus...
Arizona – Remember, bad things always happen to the team that loses the Super Bowl. Fortunately, the NFC West is still pretty bad (and the Seahawks are the last Super Bowl loser in recent memory to return to the playoffs the following season). Unfortunately, they've also got the Madden curse working against them, too. Fear – or fear for – Larry Fitzgerald.
San Francisco – To be honest, they're probably still a quarterback away. And Michael Crabtree if he ever shows up. He won't have a fan in coach Mike Singletary, by the way.
St. Louis – There's really not that much to like here. They can't defend the pass, Marc Bulger might be declining and if anything happens to Stephen Jackson it's pretty much over.
AFC
EAST
(1) New England – I'll say mostly the same thing I said last year: The Pats will never admit it publicly, but they are going to be angry and out for blood after their season ended the way it did. BTW, Bernard Pollard's available. I fear for the rest of the league. Yes, again.
Miami – WILDCAT. Shouldn't it have been “Wild Fish” or something? Ronnie Brown's still close to ridiculously good, and things are gelling on the defensive side as well, but the element of surprise is long gone.
N.Y. Jets – Say this: they're not afraid to make moves. Starting rookie Mark Sanchez at quarterback will probably set them back a little further than they'd like, but it could be the gradual start of something. They have a similar problem to the Redskins – someone has to lose these divisional games.
Buffalo – Weep not, Turk Schonert; Dick Jauron will be joining you in unemployment soon enough. T.O.'s not the player he was, I don't know if Trent Edwards will ever be anything, and that offensive line is... not good.
NORTH
(3) Pittsburgh – Same old, same old. The champs lost no one irreplaceable and actually get back second-year runner Rashard Mendenhall to help with the rushing attack.
(6) Baltimore – Much will hinge on whether Joe Flacco can dodge the sophomore slump and handle an increased role in making the Ravens' offense go. It'll also hinge on how many big years Derrick Mason has left and how well mammoth rookie tackle Michael Oher can protect Flacco. The defense remains top-notch with playmakers and brutes everywhere.
Cleveland – The Browns won't be great, but they might be a little better than people think. Whoever the quarterback is – probably Brady Quinn – needs to hope that Jamal Lewis still has a tank left and that Braylon Edwards can remember how to catch.
Cincinnati – The Bengals' defense actually got respectable near the end of last season (I'm a fan of CBs Leon Hall and Johnathan Joseph), but it was the offense that went into the tank with Palmer's injury and Chad either being frozen out or having his head stuck up his ass. I don't know. If those two can get back on the same page, things could get interesting again. But that might be a big 'if'.
SOUTH
(4) Indianapolis – I'm of the opinion that Peyton was sandbagging everybody earlier this year when he sounded worried about all of the coaching turnover. And he'd better be – one of my fantasy teams is half Colts. They still sport a top-notch offense and they finally brought in some bulk on the defensive front to help slow teams down. Teams like...
(5) Tennessee – The Titans ran their way to the best record in the AFC before an inauspicious loss to the Ravens at home in the playoffs. They hope to have added more balance with rookie wideout Kenny Britt (Rutgers~!) and Nate Washington, who's good for at least one 50-yard bomb a game.
Houston – The Texans have been the 'team of the future' for about three years now, much like the Cardinals were earlier this decade. If they don't break through this season, I fear they always will be. But they've got a chance to do that with an improving defense to complement Andre Johnson and Steve Slaton. QB Matt Schaub staying upright is paramount.
Jacksonville – Nobody's going to the games any more. The Jaguars will probably be in the same predicament as the Redskins and Jets in that somebody has to lose these games within the division. A healthy offensive like would help. Maurice Jones-Drew is monstrous and will keep them in games.
WEST
(2) San Diego – It's a shot of tequila, not at it, Shawne! The only thing holding the Chargers back at this point is Norv Turner, because everything else is in place for a Super Bowl run.
Oakland – Hey, somebody's got to finish second. (Of course, 'second' could be 6-10.) If Richard Seymour decides to show up, the Raiders' defense becomes not all that bad, but the offense still needs a lot of work and/or talent.
Kansas City – The Chiefs did some... interesting things this off-season I'm not sure how bringing in a 13-year veteran linebacker helps a youth movement but whatever, Mike Vrabel can still play. New coach Todd Haley has shown he's not afraid to challenge guys, but who is Matt Cassel, really? He doesn't have anywhere close to the help he had in New England.
Denver – Understand this: I like Kyle Orton. I thought he should have been starting in Chicago all along over Rex and I think he's a guy who can succeed in this league in the right set of circumstances. That said, there is no scenario where I'd rather have him than Jay Cutler. Throw in Brandon Marshall's rampant jackassery and a deceptively brutal schedule – seriously, take a good look at that thing – and this could be catastrophic.
WILD CARD
N.Y. Giants over Seattle; Green Bay over Atlanta
Indianapolis over Tennessee; Pittsburgh over Baltimore
DIVISIONAL PLAYOFFS
New Orleans over Green Bay; Philadelphia over N.Y. Giants
New England over Indianapolis; Pittsburgh over San Diego
CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIPS
New Orleans over Philadelphia (not that it matters; no one in the NFC is beating any of the AFC's final four)
New England over Pittsburgh
SUPER BOWL XLIV
New England over New Orleans (This looks familiar... yeah... these are the teams I picked for the Super Bowl last year, with the same result.)
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