Wednesday, December 24, 2008

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 16: Unsteady Hand

Apparently what happened at the end was the Cowboys were set up for an onside kick and the Ravens called a time out, then the Cowboys decided to kick it deep, which was... probably not the optimal strategy. Philly.com commenter: "We complain about our QB not being able to win big games; Romo can't even get out of December." (Ravens 33, Cowboys 24)

Signal Finder: PIT @ TEN, AZ @ NE, MIA @ KC (end), PHI @ WAS

PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Especially down there, Ben. You're better than that. Of course, he's getting no help from his offensive line again, which may well be what sinks them in the end. As usual, he rallies well, though. I'm not sure holding the football out with Troy Polamalu anywhere near you is a good idea. Simms brings up the valid point that the Steelers may just be beat up after a season with really no easy games (well, except the Bengals). That may have been the slowest interception return ever. Considering the history the Steelers have had hosting the AFC title game, this result may actually be for the best. (Titans 31, Steelers 14)

Yeah, so this 'Cardinals winning their first division title in 51 years' thing... I'm thinking that's as far as it goes. (Patriots 47, Cardinals 7)

I Have GOT To Get Out Of This Business, Part XII: I mean, it's bad enough that Rod Marinelli hasn't won a game this year, that he's coaching a team with exactly one good player, and that he's going to join the ranks of Detroit's unemployed at approximately 4:45 p.m. EST on Sunday. But he doesn't also need to deal with idiocy like this. There's a way to ask that question - and at its base, it is a somewhat legitimate question - without turning it into an unnecessary personal attack. At least no one will read about it. (Saints 42, Lions 7)

I don't think we'll be seeing that Mike Singletary Coors Light commercial any time soon. (49ers 17, Rams 16)

I think Zorn's being a little too hard on himself... the Redskins were never 6-2 good, but they're not as bad as the team that lost to the Bengals last week. Have the Eagles ever stopped Portis? I mean, ever? You know what this looks like? The bastard child of the 2003 NFC title game against Tampa Bay and the 2004 NFC title game against Carolina. Here's what I said in 2003: "I don't know, everyone's gonna be ripping Reid's game plan tomorrow, but the Eagles couldn't even get that right." And here's what I said after '04: "When a dozen catchable balls hit the ground, you NEED to lose." And yet... they're still one good drive from tying this game. Are the Redskins gonna blow this? Really, guys? Caught! Did he get... no, not even close. They're gonna run out of... yep. This should never have happened. (Redskins 10, Eagles 3)

Seriously, let's give it up one time for the Atlanta Falcons. (Falcons 24, Vikings 17)

Already you see how having Jacobs back makes a huge difference for the Giants. Problem is, the Panthers can play the same game even though they only have two guys. They're just going back and forth on each other. Seems like one of those nights where the last team to score will win, but with the twist that no passes will be thrown. Scratch that 'no passes will be thrown' bit. It's amazing that Ross almost had a play on that after falling down 40 yards back. The Giants cannot stop the Panthers' running game. That should be cause for concern. Wow. Just as the Giants had tightened up defensively in the second half, Williams breaks that one off. There's plenty of time left, but that could hurt. Unless, of course, Ward takes over. And we haven't seen Bradshaw at all tonight. This might be a little too long a try. Aaaaand he missed! TOUCHDOWN after about six second-effort tries. This was good stuff right here. (Giants 34, Panthers 28, OT)

Frozen tundra of Soldier Field, anyone? Two degrees is a record low for a Bears home game? That's actually hard to believe. Ron Winter being the referee is amazing. Apparently the Bears' offense has also been frozen. I thought the name "Amy Freeze" rang a bell... she used to work here. Rodgers looks too comfortable against a Bears defense, while Orton's doing his best Rex impression again. A Matt Flynn sighting? Nice throw on the touchdown to Olsen - the Bears needed that. The Packers just caught another break with the Collins interception and then proceeded to waste it. It's the Matt Forte show! And the Packers' defense fails in the fourth quarter yet again. Wait, how... oh, they blocked it? Wow. (Bears 20, Packers 17, OT)

FANTASY REPORT

JackSux 5: Yeah, we finished... seventh again.

RANKINGS

1. Tennessee (13-2) - They might regret that towel stunt
2. N.Y. Giants (12-3) - Back on track
3. Carolina (11-4) - Showed mettle in loss

30. Cleveland - Seriously, CEDRIC BENSON?! I mean, it was one thing when Jamal Lewis did it...
31. St. Louis (2-13) - Blew best shot at win they've had all year
32. Detroit (0-15) - Seriously, what's left to say?

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