PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. What, again? Are you kidding me? And that was effectively back-to-back plays. The Packers are in trouble. I'm happy that I ended up being right about Jennings. I think the Seahawks just got hit by lightning. Thanks for your contribution, Deion Branch. Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast. And the Packers can't be stopped, either. "Oh, here you go." "Oh, thanks, Brett." The Seahawks' receivers have the dropsies back. Seriously, this is a beatdown. We can't even see the yard lines anymore. I enjoyed Fox abandoning the overhead camera near the end of the third quarter, though I am wondering how they kept the yellow line working. Nice field view comparison shots "This was the opening kickoff." It is really coming down. Good for Grant. Hey, a Brandon Jackson sighting! Everyone's forgotten he was the starter at the beginning of the season and he sucked. I think I saw the Packers' punt return gunners building a snow fort with the Gatorade coolers on the sideline. (Packers 42, Seahawks 20)
See, here's the thing: Yeah, it was nice that the Jaguars were able to eat up some time and keep the Patriots' offense off the field for that opening touchdown drive. The Pats only need one play to tie it up. (Also, we all thought Garrard's knee was down.) And you can't turn the ball over. You just can't. Brady hasn't missed yet? Really? Taylor and Jones-Drew haven't done all that much so far. I feel like the Jags' receivers have been playing over their heads for the past month. Whoa. This kid's no Vinatieri, I'll tell you that much. Wait, what? Was that the Statue of Liberty? And here's the other side of what I was saying earlier: the Jags can't score that quickly. Like right there. Jones has to catch that. Intercepted! Seriously, 26 of 28, one was dropped, the other one went off Watson's fingertips, and Moss might as well have not even shown up. Who's beating these guys? I ask you. Even funnier was Reggie Nelson doing his best Anthony Smith impression after the fact. (Patriots 31, Jaguars 20)
Welcome back, Marvin! Or not. Rust, obviously. So have the Colts adopted the Seahawks' strategy of not running the ball ever? Gates is playing? Huh. Oh, that's never good and I don't
care how good Michael Turner is, there's gonna be a drop-off. Norv is furious. Blood pressure! There were two holds on Cromartie's return - the Weddle one wasn't the one that got called. See, you go get a Chris Chambers when he's better than everyone else you have. Notice the Colts have come out and run the ball more to start the second half. The hell? Was that a busted play or something? The Colts' red-zone offense today looks like the Eagles'. Or the Redskins'. Pass interference? Where? Blood pressure, Norv! Wayne did... not step out of bounds. There goes Sproles. Nice move. We got a game here, people. Now Rivers is hurt? There's no way. Gonzalez did... not step out of bounds. I forgot this was where Volek ended up. I'd say Rivers is lucky he's not doing that in Oakland but they're so beaten down out there he might get away with it. TOUCHDOWN VOLEK. Sing the song? Not yet... it's not like Peyton hasn't done this before. Who's your hot? "Clark." I don't like throwing on second and goal there. Seems like a lot of Peyton's passes have been high today. That's a clutch punt. But you're giving Peyton another shot... but Wayne's on the sideline hurt. Is no one open? Holy crap. What's gonna get lost in this is that the Colts' vaunted defense got absolutely shredded. Ladies and gentlemen, your Super Bowl XLII champions: the New England Patriots. You think I'm kidding? (Chargers 28, Colts 24)
Seriously, somebody wash my face with liquid nitrogen. How have these teams never met in the playoffs before? Nice tackling on the Toomer touchdown. Oh, look, the Cowboys' running game is back. Barber's starting? Interesting. Also of note is that Bradshaw's getting more run than Jacobs. This drive's taking forever. Twenty plays? Is that even possible? Then Eli - of all people - leads a drive to tie it up in less time than it took to huddle up. I'm honestly surprised it took this long to get to Romo's run for the border. Bahahahaha. "Who he was with." They interviewed Witten before the game, for crying out loud. Damn, Brandon. What'd the play clock ever do to you? Well that came right out of the Book of Favre. And there's yesterday's highlight right on cue. Romo probably could have run for that. This game hasn't been all that great, to be honest. Bad pass at the end. That's a pretty ignominious exit for the 'Boys... but don't let the door hit you on the way out. Ladies and gentlemen, your Super Bowl XLII champions: the New England Patriots. You think I'm kidding? (Giants 21, Cowboys 17)
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