Sunday, November 24, 2024

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 4: Broadly Brushed

Weird scheduling quirk here: the Cowboys going on the road on a short week. This never happens. The worst thing Malik Nabers can do for the Giants is the thing that he's doing — making Daniel Jones look passable. Wan'dale Robinson just falls down on third and 10. Greg Joseph, wearing No. 34, hits from 52. Rico Dowdle scores on a screen pass, but there's a flag. But they pick it up and the touchdown counts. Lamb breaks a tackle and that's too easy. The defender just gave up. 14-6 Cowboys. Here's one of Daniel Jones's biggest problems: He keeps making bad decisions. Deep ball to a covered Nabers almost gets picked off (and probably should have.) There's been a flag on almost every play since the Giants' third field goal. Kirk: "That's the eighth penalty now?" Al: "No, it's the 147th." Al, one minute later: "We're gonna need some new flags to throw in the second half, 'cause these are filthy." Then there are two more on the punt. Robinson can't outrun a linebacker and the Giants kick another field goal. Ooh, I like what Amazon just did putting the kicker in his own window on the kickoff while showing the whole field. Nabers converts 4th and 3 from midfield. Poor throw from Jones is too low and Slayton can't catch it on third and 14. Now what? 11:16 left and they kick it again, making it 17-15.

Singletary barely picks up fourth and short. Why was he seven yards back? Parsons down with 3:30 left. He gets helped off the field, and DeMarcus Lawrence has been out since the third quarter. Nabers can't bring it in on the sideline on fourth and 6. Wasn't Jones past the line of scrimmage anyway? Nabers slow to get up while Parsons is helped onto a cart. Diggs is also out. Aubrey misses the cover play! 28 seconds left but this Giants offense isn't capable of this. Hooker went for the pick but it was too high, and Robinson couldn't make him pay. And there's the interception. (Cowboys 20, Giants 15)

Signal Finder: MIN @ GB, PHI @ TB, KC @ LAC

Jordan Love is back about two weeks before expectations. I don't understand why the Packers let Aaron Jones leave and replaced him with an inferior back. Field goal CLANGS off the right upright. This is Darnold's first game at Lambeau? Huh. Stokes can't cover Jefferson, as demonstrated by that obvious DPI call. Darnold may have thrown that on purpose. What? Alexander's out? Yeah, that's bad, too. Touchdown Josh Oliver.


Christian Watson gets wrecked and Kamu Grugier-Hill gets the interception. Watson getting carted off. Jordan Addison scores on a jet sweep and it's 21-0 Vikings. Packers driving, but they miss another field goal! What happened to the guy they had last year? B-roll of... trees. Love gets picked off again! Touchdown Jefferson. Vikings challenge this Doubs catch and get it overturned. And on the NEXT play we've got another tough catch, this one by Wicks. It's called incomplete, the Packers challenge, and they lose. The Vikings muff the punt! That ball kept going and the returner lost it in the sun. The Packers ran it in but it won't count because it's a muff. Ball at the 3. Doubs is ruled not in the end zone and LaFleur is furious. He's also wrong, and he's also been flagged. Jayden Reed goes upstairs for a touchdown. Packers coming back? Tyler Kraft just scored after a Vikings fumble, giving them two touchdown in the last minute, as Wicks caught a pass from Love on the previous drive. It's 28-22. Murphy picks off Love in the end zone! The Packers get the ball back and turn it over again! Murphy punches it out and Bynum recovers. That's the story of this game. Vikings correctly challenge this Jefferson play on the sideline, because he dragged that left foot. That's actually O'Connell's third challenge he's won today. That reversal ended up taking at least three more minutes off the clock. Vikings get stopped on fourth and 1 at the Packers 4 with 2:18 left. Packers go down the field and get a touchdown in five plays. PAT is good and it's 31-29 with 56 seconds left. Onside kick... look, you pretty much know by now. Is this the best team in the league? (Vikings 31, Packers 29)

KOO FROM 58. Man, the Saints came back to earth pretty quickly. (Falcons 26, Saints 24)

It is HOT down there. Touchdown Mike Evans. Mayfield can't be stopped right now. Touchdown Trey Palmer and it's already 14-0. OMG a stop. Then the Eagles ruin it by pushing a defender into DeJean, making the refs pick up the fair catch interference flag and giving the Bucs the ball inside the 25.


Baker keeps it on fourth and goal and makes it 21-0 a minute into the second quarter. We're done here. Blankenship and Evans collide and Blankenship gets called for interference. Field goal makes it 24-0. Eagles finally getting some positive yards. Guy on the chain gang is down. Goedert! Barkley gets stopped three times from the 4. Now what? Play action and Parris Campbell eventually comes open for a touchdown. It's 94 degrees and the heat index is 108. This time Ringo runs into DeJean on this punt return. but Trotter Jr. grabs the ball to save it. 24-7 Bucs at halftime. Saquon breaks off a 59-yard run. PUSH IT. Touchdown Hurts. Bucky Irving? Really? PAT is BLOCKED and Ringo's gonna bring it back for two points! That will always be funny. A Hurts fumble, helped by a complete breakdown in pass protection, ends this drive and any chance of a comeback.

They don't win games without Lane Johnson. Also, they've lost four of their last five against Tampa and each one was worse than the last. The Buccaneers may just have their number. (Buccaneers 33, Eagles 16)

Bo Nix passed for 60 yards and the Broncos won. This is why the Jets will never be taken seriously. (Broncos 10, Jets 9)

Good for J.K. Dobbins being healthy finally. Herbert is laboring after that touchdown to Ladd McConkey (who is no relation to Phil.) I'm surprised he's playing on that ankle that hasn't been right since preseason. Mahomes gets intercepted! Then the Chargers player fumbles and the Chiefs get it back! But was Creed Humphrey out of bounds when he recovered it? No, but a Chargers player WAS, and Steratore explains that once that happens, the ball is ruled out of bounds, and that's why the Chargers keep it. Meanwhile, Mahomes apparently ran into a falling Rashee Rice, and Rice is hurt on the sideline. Bud Dupree's still in the league? Field goal makes it 10-0 Bolts. This is the first time ever that the reigning Super Bowl champion coach and the reigning NCAA national champion coach are facing each other in the NFL. Worthy! 52 yards! Chiefs pull Kareem Hunt out of mothballs. Butker misses from 65 to end the half. Reid on Rice, to Tracy: "It's not good." Dicker misses and that looked bad from the start. Still 10-7. Butker ties it at 10. Chargers go for it on fourth and goal from the 3, but they throw it for some reason. Romo doesn't really like the play call. Mahomes finds Noah Gray for 29. Touchdown Perine with six minutes left. Chris Jones with the sack on third down.


Chargers punt and that's probably game. Yep. (Chiefs 17, Chargers 10)

Derrick Henry takes it 87 yards to the proverbial house. Lamar finds Henry for another touchdown and it's 14-3. We've seen this before. Cris: "Justice Hill should be where the Supreme Court is." What? Tirico's in equal disbelief. Hill jukes some poor Bills defender and gets free for a touchdown catch. 21-3.


The Ravens call back-to-back timeouts and lose five yards because of it. Is this how it starts?

Still 21-3 at halftime. Allen gets chased from the pocket, almost goes out of bounds, and throws a strike to Shakir for 52! Ty Johnson scores on the next play and it's 21-10. We've seen this before. Bills try a double handoff and Allen fumbles and the Ravens recover! That play was doomed from the start. Curtis Samuel almost lost the ball before Allen got it knocked out of his hand.

Big run by Henry. Another big play by Hill. Touchdown Lamar. Another big run by Henry! Then he gets stuffed on first and goal. He fumbles into the end zone on third down, and after they unpile everyone, Patrick Ricard has it and it's 35-10. Trubisky in with seven minutes left. Josh Johnson comes in on the next Ravens drive. He played for Jim Harbaugh at University of San Diego! That was pre-Stanford! (Ravens 35, Bills 10)

This game's skippable. The only thing worth checking for is the weekly Will Levis meme. And we may not even get that tonight because he has a shoulder injury. Mason Rudolph's the backup?


How does this keep getting worse? On BOTH sides? (Titans 31, Dolphins 12)

Meanwhile, the Seahawks are down four starters across both lines. I don't think I like the black lion on the blue helmets, but the rest of this fit is choice. HUGE hole for Gibbs to the Seahawks 4. Montgomery keeps his feet on third down and scores. DK's second circus catch of the night is negated by offsetting penalties, then he fumbles on the next play! Carlton Davis returns it inside the 15! Gibbs takes it in to start the second quarter. These PATs have ben shaky but they've gone through. 14-0 Lions. Another ridiculous catch by DK but he's eventually ruled down at the 1. Kenneth Walker bounces it outside and scores. Kudos to ESPN for going back and getting a close-up shot of the face mask penalty. Gibbs gets his second touchdown of the night. Seahawks trying to get in for a long field goal try here? That quick out to DK left them with two seconds. Myers's 62-yard try is short. Geno picks up fourth and short on a regular sneak. Carlton Davis gets correctly called for interference on DK and he's LIVID. Two different Lions players have to back him away from the officials. Touchdown A.J. Barner. Good Lord, this play by Montgomery. Witherspoon hits him but he doesn't go down, then he breaks three tackles and gets a big block downfield. Tim Patrick's still in the league? Amon-Ra throws to Goff for a touchdown! Buck: "Who had that on the bingo card?!"


Walker finds the end zone for the Seahawks and it's 28-20. Another DPI call on Davis against DK on the two-point try. Replay after the fact shows he may have caught it? Also, I'm not sure why you'd go for two this early here. JAMESON WILLIAMS. 70 YARDS. Seahawks defense has been getting embarrassed on big plays tonight. Laviska Shenault's a Seahawk? Walker reverses field and scores to open the fourth. NOW you go for two. (But they don't.) Seahawks get a stop. Then they go for it from the Lions 38 on 4th and 3, get it, but Lockett gets called for OPI. Now they have to punt. Amon-Ra with a great toe-tapping catch for a touchdown that apparently was never signaled, but still counts. 42-27 Lions. Goff is 18 for 18, by the way. Anzalone drops an interception in the end zone. Geno wasn't ready for the snap on fourth and goal and he throws incomplete. Goff drops back for some reason, then scrambles to try to get out of the end zone. After a review, the refs change it to a safety, making it 42-29, which matters. Wait, the kickoff rules apply to free kicks? I mean, it makes sense, but it doesn't make sense that everyone would line up in the same spot as usual. Seahawks' last gasp ends with a pretty interception in the end zone by Kerby Joseph. Lions break an L6 against the Seahawks! Aikman wonders why Goff doesn't have a perfect quarterback rating. Buck's not even going to try to explain it. (Lions 42, Seahawks 29)

RANKINGS
TOP 4:
1. Minnesota (4-0) — They are right now, yeah
2. Kansas City (4-0) — Losing Rice could hurt bad
3. Detroit (3-1) — Doesn't feel like a fluke to me
4. Houston (3-1) — This step is always the hardest

BOTTOM 4:
29. New England (1-3) — What an odd sight this is
30. Cleveland (1-3) — Coming up short
31. Carolina (1-3) —Everyone here is in over their heads
32. Jacksonville (0-4) — Nothing's working so far

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