Saturday, October 21, 2017

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 4: Friendly Takeover




That should be at least a four-game suspension for Trevathan. But it won't be because Roger Goodell hasn't gotten a disciplinary decision right since... God, am I going back to Michael Vick, of all people? (Packers 35, Bears 14)

Signal Finder: NO vs. MIA, PIT @ BAL, PHI @ LAC, OAK @ DEN

Haven't these teams played each other in London before? Burkhardt isn't sure why Adrian Peterson's a Saint, either. The irony of his booth statement about Cutler is that Cutler was supposed to be his partner. Bad snap? Who wants it? Brees finally falls on it after losing about 12 yards. Then a delay of game penalty.


This may be the best the Saints have played defensively in about six years.
(Saints 20, Dolphins 0)



Reminder that Joe Flacco was terrible last week. Good first run by Alex Collins, who if you'll remember, was the kid who went to Arkansas against his mother's wishes, got drafted by the Seahawks but got lost in the shuffle up there. Flacco's insanely lucky that pass wasn't intercepted. Brandon Carr got a job? My God. You know who hasn't been great this season is Le'veon Bell. His new backup, James Conner, with a nice run. Steelers driving. There's Bell. This HAS been a long drive. At least they made the field goal. Antonio Brown's mad about something. Did Villanueva just headbutt a dude? How was that not blocked? Oh, he was offsides. THAT'S how. Why does Collins only have four carries when he's averaging 8 yards per? And as I think that, he fumbles. Steelers ball. This game feels really slow. That's not a touchdown. But this is. 13-0 Steelers. The Ravens can't do anything offensively. Martavis Bryant's finally back? Oh. Touchdown Smith-Schuster. They're going for two, which I'm surprised they didn't do last time. Nope. 19-0. Not quite sure what the Ravens are doing here. Speed up! Well, they've gotten Tucker a shot at this. Sixty-two? Why not. Nope. We gonna get a runback here? Joe Haden on the Steelers is weird.


Oh, they did call it an interception. The whistle shouldn't have blown, though. Ben throws into triple coverage for no apparent reason. Boswell... misses? That kick sliced hard at the last second. Alex Collins is the Ravens' best player (now that Marshal Yanda is out for the season.) I'M MIKE WALLACE. The Steelers should know better than to not cover him. Ravens going for two here? Interesting. They got it! Wait, they're reviewing this? Call OVERTURNED. Still 19-9. I'm not sure they got that one right. Crowd finally waking up. Flacco threw that right to Ryan Shazier, who plays for the Steelers. This offense still seems sluggish. But still better than the Ravens' as Flacco throws another interception on 4th and 12. This isn't a touchdown regardless. But this is. (Steelers 26, Ravens 9)

Wait, how was Powell not down? Did he trip over air? Big gain gets wiped out by a penalty. That's a good punt and a bad job of fielding it by Marquise Lee. Add a penalty and the Jags are at their own 3 with about 2:20 left. They gotta punt now. Somehow that penalty's on the Jaguars, and the Jets have the ball at the Jags' 25.


This kicker isn't the greatest. Remember Week 2 when the Cardinals had Phil Dawson?


Let's go. GOOD. Penalty? No penalty. Man, the Jets can't even tank correctly. (Jets 23, Jaguars 20, OT)

Why is Goodell here? To see this embarrassment in person?


Related: Because both L.A. teams are on FOX but it's CBS's doubleheader week, this game is being shown in L.A. on its MyTV affiliate. LOLZ. Eagles getting plenty of pressure — that's two passes that Rivers has thrown away already. And the same pressure forces a fumble. That pass to Agholor was in the only place it could be. Touchdown Jeffrey. Crowd is WILD. Rivers way off target. FAKE END AROUND. That was beautiful. Elliott makes it 10-0. The Chargers finally get protection and Rivers finds Allen for a big first down. And how does a defensive end end up covering Allen? Smallwood having a good game so far. Another field goal. Rivers throws a bomb to Tyrell Williams, who outruns Mills for a touchdown. Delay of game on the extra point? That's a good play fake to freeze the linebackers. Tough throw by Wentz for Ertz, but he was covered well. Elliott from 52. Good. Wentz's run on 3rd down falls short. Eagles going for it? Maybe not. Time out and they'll punt after all. Another big downfield play to Allen, and Bradham runs him down. Rivers really angry that they didn't get a pass interference call there. Field goal is good. 16-10 Eagles at halftime. Big play to Ertz to get out of the hole. Clement gets stopped short on 3rd and 2, so expect the Eagles to go for it here. Sneak gets it. Some odd play calls on 3rd and long in this game. We haven't heard much from Gates today. Schlereth now noticing the odd crowd reactions. Crowd is booing this pass interference call... against the Eagles. Stockton with the jinx — talks about the Chargers' running woes, then they break off a 35-yard touchdown run. Blount! Did he stiff-arm the same guy twice? A penalty against the Chargers gives the Eagles first and goal again AND a massive pop from the crowd.


A toss? Smallwood finally punches it in.


That's a catch and touchdown. The Chargers have been looking for Gates's successor for years. Maybe this Hunter Henry's the guy. Four-minute offense? Try SIX-minute offense.


That was really well done. (Eagles 26, Chargers 24)

Jamaal Charles back. Mario Edwards Jr? What are the Raiders doing? I'm with Romo; they botched that sequence. So now they have to throw this away to end the half? I'm sorry, what? Romo: "This is gonna look weird." It sure did. Not sure what's supposed to solve this defense. Looking at these replays, this isn't a fumble. Yeah, still Broncos ball. Carr down. Romo thinks he got a knee in the back as he went down, and his body twisted. EJ Manuel's in Oakland? That's a news flash. That was wild — Siemian had a pass deflected, five Raiders were tracking it in the air, and somehow Sanders ends up with it. Bad job, Jared Cook. BAD job. That pass has to be caught. Wow! Great leap by dude to intercept that and seal this win. (Broncos 16, Raiders 10)



What is HAPPENING over there? (Buccaneers 25, Giants 23)

This is the Colts' backup center who's down. They're on their third center and third-string quarterback (who wasn't even THEIR third-string quarterback) and it's Week 4. Baldwin just worked Vontae Davis for a big gain. I'm 50 percent surprised the Seahawks didn't get a touchdown there. This is a very important point — Brissett changed teams at probably the worst possible time for a quarterback. Good pass to the backup tight end. Avril down? That's a good punt. Lacy just barely got out of the end zone, then Wilson just barely gets a pass off before he gets taken down. Or does he? Colts challenge, and they probably should. That's a safety, guys.
So an almost-sack leads to Luke Willson gaining about 15 yards with the ball.
THAT was fast. Dude jumps the rout and it's touchdown Seahawks. Earl Thomas dropped another interception on a ball that should never have been thrown. Collinsworth was all "Don't do this."
Pagano got the free spin!

Now Carroll's challenging. This one'll be close. Nope. First down Colts. Nice run by Brissett into the red zone. Touchdown Turbin. Yeah, he's in. Going for two. Denied. Wilson on the run because he'll die otherwise. Is that an interception? Yes! Colts ball. Hilton with the stretch. Let's see this spot. (This isn't a challenge so I can't say "Don't challenge spots.") Got it by a nose. Touchdown Moncrief! Somehow the Colts have the lead here.


Why did the Seahawks sign Blair Walsh? NO GOOD. Michele Tafoya's a damn prophet. Walsh was back out during halftime working? And still missing? This could be a problem later.


Lot of flags on this drive. That's Richardson's second big catch tonight. Collinsworth pointing out that the receiver there could have drawn pass interference if he'd tried. Wilson! There's nobody in the middle of the field. I... think this is a touchdown.


That didn't take long. Touchdown Seahawks. So this is interesting: The Colts got called for an illegal formation on the PAT. The Seahawks accepted, the ball gets moved to the 1, and now they're gonna go for two. Someone forgot to cover Baldwin. I think that's the first time we've actually seen Jimmy Graham tonight. And now Wilson throws a bad interception. Field goal ties it. Don't worry, Al, I thought it was Lacy too until I realized it was a little too small to be Lacy. I mean, long dreads, 2 on the back of the jersey — it's an honest mistake.


Wait, what? Another touchdown? That's former Eagles bust Marcus Smith applying pressure. Wagner looked like Barry Sanders on that runback. Yeah, that's a fumble. Someone forgot to cover Luke Willson. Touchdown Seahawks. There's still nine minutes left? Who's this McKissick kid?


The following has never happened before:


This was actually the second one of these today. Texans 57, Titans 14 was the other one. (Seahawks 46, Colts 18)


RANKINGS
TOP 4:
1. Kansas City (4-0) — Doing everything right
2. Atlanta (3-1) — Though Sunday's hiccup was weird
3. Philadelphia (3-1) — We've been here before
4. Buffalo (3-1) — Well, here's a team I never expected I'd be putting here

BOTTOM 4:
29. Chicago (1-3) — It's well past time for Trubisky
30. Cleveland (0-4) — This is going to take a LONG time
31. N.Y. Giants (0-4) — Basically the opposite of the Bills
32. San Francisco (0-4) —

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