Thursday, November 29, 2012

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 10: Motions to Stop



Yeah, somehow I don't think this is the beginning of the next great quarterback rivalry. Call it a hunch. (Colts 27, Jaguars 10)

Signal Finder: NYG @ CIN, ATL @ NO (end), OAK @ BAL, BUF @ NE (end), DAL @ PHI, STL @ SF (end)

It's weird to think that the Giants have never won here considering how bad the Bengals have historically been. I'm pretty sure Corey Webster's salad days are over. Pacman Jones is still alive? Well, the Giants just found out he is. It's already 14-0. That was... odd. Did the Giants play that to get first and goal at the 2? Just a weird decision there to get one yard that doesn't matter in this context. I didn't realize the Bengals were carrying so many Rutgers guys. I mention this because Mohamed Sanu just made another big catch this year when they went for it on 4th and 2, and Brian Leonard's still kicking around as their fullback type. And here come the Giant turnovers. This offense has looked like crap for most of the day, and their defense hasn't been able to hold anything in these short-field situations. Time to cut to another game. Looks like A.J. Green was right.



(Bengals 31, Giants 13)

Oooh, another last stand for the Saints is going well. Until that bomb to Julio Jones, that is. I think I would have run those three goal-line plays in a different order if I was coaching the Falcons. Apparently Ivory's been getting the run for the Saints this week. (Is Thomas hurt, too? I know Sproles is out.) You'd think the Falcons would know how to cover a supremely athletic tight end. That's a game changer because now the Saints are almost guaranteed at least three points, meaning the Falcons will need a touchdown. And there it is. Falcons are driving and I think they thought that was a touchdown where the Saints thought it was a fumble. They're both wrong. More goal-line adventures! They wouldn't be in this situation if they'd gotten it right the last time. I hate the straight pass play on 2nd down here. — either run a play fake or just run it. Try running to the outside,  maybe. Nice play by Greer to knock the pass down because White was going to catch it, and it's another short-yardage failure for the Falcons.



Oh, there's Thomas. That was a bit risky. You kind of figured it would end like this, right? (Saints 31, Falcons 27)

If the Bills had a quarterback, they would have won this game. Or, at least, it wouldn't have ended the way it did. (Patriots 37, Bills 31)




Oh, look. A needless Cowboys penalty prolongs a drive that was stalled. That's never happened before. I... I don't believe what I just saw. The Eagles scored a first-quarter touchdown. From inside the red zone, no less! (Cooper's catch was pretty nice, too.) Someone has stolen Felix Jones' jersey because he is running wild out there. The fullback getting loose a few times is only making things worse and the Eagles are tackling like they did in New Orleans. That was way too easy. Now Romo's overthrowing his guys. You know who's good (or at least playing well now that he's been called upon) is Bruce Carter. Aw, Vick. McCoy may have scored if you could have gotten the ball to him. Wait, what's going on? Remember last week when I said it was remarkable how nothing has happened to Vick despite the beating he's been taking every week? Yeah, scratch that.





And there's the first solid shot Foles takes behind this Superfund site of an offensive line. Note that Jason Avant (who just went down himself) was the emergency quarterback because Trent Edwards is inactive for some reason. And I don't know who's next in line. Jackson, maybe? We also need to discuss the last two minutes of the half, where... questionable... clock management by both teams led to there being three possessions and the Cowboys calling two time outs to get the ball back, then taking a knee. OK, maybe we don't need to talk about that.



Wow, Maclin was so wide open he caught that like he was fielding a punt. Romo just ran away from about four Eagles to keep that play alive. Touchdown. Or is it? Big play either way because if it's not a score, Bryant was interfered with so  the ball will be at the 1. I actually think it's a catch — I think his arm's underneath it. Why is this taking so long? Put it on the board. I think I'm the only person who thought he held on to that ball, and it'd be in my best interest if he hadn't.




I do agree with my doppelganger that the catch rules have become far too complicated. Morris Claiborne keeps hitting his own self-destruct button. His number of penalties in this game is higher than his Wonderlic score. And the punt return team just bailed him out. It's like a bolt of lightning just hit this place. A pick-six? Really? REALLY? That one's partly on DeSean as well — throw was behind him but he had his hands on it and should have caught it. Also, King Dunlap — who is playing the role of Morris Claiborne for the Eagles today — could have stopped the runback but just... stopped.



This thing has just about blown up. Three touchdowns in two and a half minutes? Good luck coming back from that. Who misses extra points anymore? Well that's just insult to insult right there. This depressed me. (Cowboys 38, Eagles 23)






(Seahawks 28, Jets 7)


What sorcery is this? Harbaugh uses both of his overtime time outs on the first possession, then Akers misses from 41? Now the Rams are going to try one from 53. DELAY OF GAME?!?! How does that even happen? Now it's a 58-yard attempt... and he misses it! And there's so little time left they may not have a chance to get the ball back. Well, unless they force a three-and-out. Now what do you do if you're the 49ers? I think you have to punt here, pin the Rams in their own end and make them earn it. Why aren't the Rams throwing deep? That holding penalty on Willis just cost the 49ers a chance to win this game... and Aldon Smith sacking Bradford just sealed a tie. Unbelievable.



Donovan McNabb: "Man, feels good finally getting off that hook. Danny, we need to talk." (Rams 24, 49ers 24, OT)

Whoa, that's some serious rain. A fumble already? Oh, this'll be overturned. Oh, there's another one. And this one will probably stand. I don't really get why both teams have come out throwing in these conditions but what can you do. That's a good stop by the Bears defense to not allow a touchdown after that. This is why Devin Hester doesn't get much run in the passing game any more. Another Bears turnover? Did these teams go Freaky Friday on us? Remember too that this turf is among the NFL's worst on a good day, but unless Jennings' man slipped and fell there, the turf didn't cause that interception. Seriously, PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. And STOP THROWING IT. That was, what, three turnovers in the space of 12 plays or so? checks Four in 13. I'm frightened by how close my guess was. And Schaub throws another one! This is madness. A 51-yarder in this slop? Well, I guess if anyone can make it, Gould can. Now it's turned into a punting contest. The Texans seem to have settled down first and decided to stick to the run game. Oh. OUCH. And Cutler did not come out of that on the good end. Also, guess what happened two plays later. I was legitimately stunned when Jason Campbell signed with the Bears on the first day of free agency — by my count, there are at least six AFC teams he could start for right now (including, frankly, his former one.) Nice deep ball to Marshall from Campbell after a bunch of short throws. Shame they couldn't capitalize. Wait, Gould missed? That doesn't happen. These defenses are not messing around. Graham barely got that one over the crossbar. I feel like the conditions left both of these teams running at about 70 percent. (Texans 13, Bears 6)

This is the same rain that was in Chicago last night, for those wonder- FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP THE PRESSES:



The Steelers are making this look like a trap game — Jamaal Charles is running right through them. A draw play on 1st and a week? Serves them right. Are the Steelers aware there's a game tonight? File "Missing easy field goals" under "things the Chiefs can't afford to do at this point" because the Steelers could arrive at any time and administer the beatdown we all know is coming. I'M MIKE WALLACE. He's had an up-and-down year but the "ups" have been plays like that. We're tied. And there goes another quarterback. Succop misses another one? This is getting into game-changer territory. Well, the Steelers certainly don't need to see Leftwich getting up slowly after taking a hit. The Chiefs have had too much national exposure this season and all of their games have been awful. Like here: They get what looks like a fumble return for a touchdown, it gets reviewed and overturned, then they get hit with a 15-yard penalty for excessive celebration of something that never actually happened. Then they get a stop on 4th and 1 at midfield and can't do anything with it. Suisham shows 'em how it's done. And now we're back in the morass. There's been one first down in eight minutes of game time.



The Steelers decided there that they don't think Cassel can drive the Chiefs into field goal range, and they're probably right.



Or not, as Cassel hitting on 4th and 15 and Succop making the game-tying field goal has given us the very real possibility of a second tie in two days. Or... not, as Cassel throws an interception on the second play. LOL at the Steelers not even running a play before kicking the field goal. It's almost as  if Tomlin was thinking, "These are the greatest fans in the world, and they've suffered enough."







This should never have happened. (Steelers 16, Chiefs 13, OT)

RANKINGS
TOP 4:
1. Houston (8-1) — Pass "top team on road" test
2. Atlanta (8-1) — Nothing lasts forever
3. San Francisco (6-2-1) — That's a division and conference tie on top of it, which could be big in the end
4. Chicago (7-2) — At least they have a backup QB with a pulse this time around

BOTTOM 4:
29. N.Y. Jets (3-6) — Not even Denzel could save this flight
30. Cleveland (2-7) — Could probably use a coach
31. Jacksonville (1-8) — Good thing nobody saw this
32. Kansas City (1-8) — Had a lead. Baby steps
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