Thursday, August 11, 2011

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth: The Cliffhanger

The post right underneath this one says that the rest of last year's postseason will be posted when the lockout ends. Well, the lockout's over. And since I am a man of my word, here it is.

(My file for the conference title games got corrupted and I both can't and don't really want to reconstruct the whole thing almost from scratch. All you need to know is that Todd Collins took meaningful snaps in a conference championship game in 2011 and that Mark Brunell almost did. And I don't think I need to tell you who they played for and what happened to them.)

Onward.

Last time, in the National... Football League:

And it's time for the Reading of the Historical Document. I didn't get this last time, either.

Big D, Big D, big city, big dreams...

No shot we kick off at 6:29. None WHATSOEVER. Christina might still be singing at 6:29.

Did she just repeat the 'twilight's last gleaming' line?

I'm just going to assume we're getting a Fast 5 trailer at some point tonight.

Nice tie, Deion.

No full-body motion chyrons this year? I'm disappointed.

A muffed punt! We got us a situation here. Whose ball is it? Somebody fall on it! Packers hang on to it.

That pass needs to be caught, Jordy.

Not sure I would have thrown it there (and Mendenhall was apparently open)

Nice work by Rodgers to avoid the rush and find Jackson.

GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL!!!! Nelson catches basically the same pass he dropped on the first drive.

Bryant McFadden's hurt for the Steelers. That could be bad.

And that could be worse. And it is. Touchdown Nick Collins.

Yep. Ben was hit as he threw it and it hung up there. Collins just had to find it and make sure he caught it.

Now Flozell is down for Pittsburgh? They're out of offensive linemen, aren't they? Seriously, wasn't Nagursky the last guy they had left?

Good omen for GB: No team has ever lost a Super Bowl in which they've returned an interception for a touchdown.

Field goal Steelers. They needed something.

Jarret Bush? Really? Why is Jarret Bush playing in the Super Bowl?

And Rodgers comes back with a laser. If Ryan Clark's a second later, he either knocks that ball down or collides with Polamalu.

Now Woodson's out? That makes what, half the Packers' remaining roster?

Nice misdirection by Ward in the end zone to turn that defender around. Steelers got the touchdown they needed.

I gotta tell you, this is the first Domino's pizza I've had in years, and it's the best Domino's I've ever had by an almost immeasurable margin.

Countdown Live: "Is Fergie wearing shoulder pads? She should stay on the field after halftime. Pack might need her in the defensive backfield."

Ah, there's Usher. I'd heard rumors.

Woodson OUT. That's BAD news for the Pack.

This start isn't much better. Two straight penalties?

Hey, the Steelers ran to the left for once.

Touchdown. We got us a game.

Time out? What?

Why am I seeing a guy named Zombo so much? He just got a big sack, though.

Ladies and gentlemen... Shaun Suisham. Though it's not like the Steelers had much choice — it's 4th and 15. You're not going for it in that spot.

Another time out? Is Mike Martz coaching the Steelers?

Brett Swain? Who is Brett Swain? Is he the Packers' Blair White? Oh, he's replacing Donald Driver, who will also not be returning to this game.

So the Packers are challenging this... why? Wouldn't it be Steelers' ball if it's a catch and fumble? Because that's what it would end up being, wouldn't it?

Fumble! If the Packers turn this into points that might be it. And you can't even really blame that one on Mendenhall — he had it secure and just got crumpled by Matthews and Pickett.

Packers receivers continuing to do their best Arkansas in the Sugar Bowl impression.

Is this a career game for Jordy Nelson? And who thought Jordy Nelson would have a career game in the Super Bowl?

Touchdown Jennings. And I don't think I've ever seen Polamalu look that bad in coverage.

Steelers are working the screens on this drive.

And all to set up for THAT. I'M MIKE WALLACE.

Hey, let's go for two. They can do pretty much anything with Randle El out there. That'll work.

Again, I don't think I've ever seen Polamalu look that bad in coverage. There's no way he's 100 percent, right?

Ohhh, THAT was close. Now the Packers have to kick the FG...

Hottest shoe commercial ever?

Ben hasn't played well tonight but he can erase it all here, and there's certainly precedent for it. (Also, the Steelers could use those two time outs back.)

Bad throw... through Wallace's hands. No contact. Game, set, match.

Brett who? Also, 49ers fans everywhere are sobbing.

"Cheese Stands Alone?" Really, ESPN.com? Really?

(Packers 31, Steelers 25)

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