It's my understanding that Festivus is today. Who determines this? Is it arbitrary? I bring this up because this is as worthy an occasion as any to begin the Airing of Grievances. Hey NFL schedule makers! I GOTTA LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE! Who among you decided that the Carolina Panthers were worthy of any prime-time exposure at this point in the season? What made you think they'd be any good? C'mon, man! (Steelers 27, Panthers 3)
Jon Kitna, John Skelton, and nine wins total. Merry Christmas, football fans. I actually completely forgot about this game until I saw how it ended. I've decided that David Buehler is a smaller, less violent Sebastian Janikowski. (Cardinals 27, Cowboys 26)
Signal Finder: NYJ @ CHI, SF @ STL, NYG @ GB
That pass is why Danny Amendola is a wide receiver. I'm not sure any quarterback has ever appreciated a running back like Sam Bradford should appreciate Steven Jackson. That's a safety, isn't it? SPEED (2)! This game looks like what a game between two sub-.500 teams fighting for playoff position looks like. Alex is in? What happened to Troy? Oh, he's on the sideline yelling at Singletary. The young people watching this need to know it didn't used to be like this for them. And yet it's amazing the 49ers are still in this thing. Oh, I don't think Alexander stepped out. I mean, I'm looking at this replay and it's close, but I wouldn't be able to call that. And it ends up not mattering for anything but fantasy purposes (although, let's be honest: if Danario Alexander is starting on your fantasy team, and it's week 16, it doesn't matter anyway.) finally, mercifully, crosses off 49ers (Rams 25, 49ers 17)
Come on, Soldier Field. We need you to come up big with signs for Rex. Don't let America down. You know who's good is Matt Forte. Hey, a Shonn Greene sighting! Into a bad spot into double coverage? Nice work, Cutler. Hey, a LaDanian Tomlinson sighting! These vaunted defenses are getting shredded. Did not see this one coming. In that same vein, it really is amazing how much time Cutler's had to throw. The Bears' offensive line has been playing better but the Jets have absolutely no pass rush. Seriously, people, stop kicking it to Devin Hester. STOP. And the Jets come right back with Holmes? What is going on here? Knox and Hester give the Bears ridiculous speed on the outside. A field goal? And Nick Folk made it? That might be an even bigger upset. Have we really gone almost an entire quarter in this game without anyone scoring? And there's the mistake one of these two was bound to make. Though that was a nice play by Harris to swoop in and pick that off. (Bears 38, Jets 34)
So no T.O., no Ocho, and Carson puts up his best passer rating ever. I'm not saying; I'm just saying. crosses off the song (Bengals 34, Chargers 20)
Looks like the Giants are still in shock. Seriously, Jordy Nelson shouldn't be doing that to anyone. Mario Manningham is the evolutionary Nate Washington. Discuss. Oh wow. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. I'd say he wheels are coming off but they're already off. And really, they haven't just come off — they're rolling down the road independently of each other and hitting other cars. The casino across the street~~~~~ I didn't know Green Bay even had casinos. I know Milwaukee's got a couple. And now Tom Coughlin finds himself in the same spot he was in five years ago: needing to beat the Washington Redskins to save his job. Unfortunately for him, Tiki Barber isn't around to bail him out like last time. (Packers 45, Giants 17)
The Saints and Falcons have a history of trading wins on the other's home field, so this wouldn't have been surprising even if the Saints were 5-10 or something. (Saints 17, Falcons 14)
TUESDAY. ESPN's Kevin Nagandi: "If George Costanza were the assistant to the Minnesota Vikings' traveling secretary, he would have quit by now." I haven't heard a halfway decent explanation as to why this game was flexed in the first place — the Vikings aren't very good this year and are out of it, and Favre was hurt before they made the switch. And if this turns into a three-hour Favre eulogy, I'm checking out. Seriously, Jets-Bears was RIGHT THERE.
Also, I haven't paid attention to Ed Rendell's opinions on football for the past eight years and I'm certainly not about to start now. But let's break this down, since he clearly has no idea how this actually works: You've gotta move 70,000 people from all across the region into one spot in South Philadelphia over roads that are doubtlessly in terrible condition with poor visibility. South Jersey Transit is completely shut down, and SEPTA is partially shut down. (And anyone who rides SEPTA regularly will tell you that "SEPTA" and "peak efficiency" almost never appear in the same sentence.) There'll be snow falling in the stadium all day that has to be cleared out before the game so people can sit down and move around. What happens if an emergency vehicle is needed at the stadium? How long is it going to take to get there through the weather conditions? Then you have to do the same thing four hours later after the game's over, with the additional factor that all the fans are now drunk. And it's not like you can wait until 7:30 p.m. to make this decision, either. If the NFL's choice is between taking a PR hit and looking like "wimps" for moving the game or taking a PR hit for not moving the game and somebody dying because of it... look, that's an easy one.
Vick's limping already? Nice catch, Clay Harbour. Clay Harbour? Yeah, that's clearly in. And after that the Eagles just seem off. Have they run the ball at all so far? That's about the third interception the Vikings have dropped. You can't drop a fumble, though. Why is Andy challenging this? I can't see how they can say Rice didn't have control. Um. Well then. Joe Webb just made the entire Eagles' defense miss him twice. Juqua Parker still hasn't caught him. This... did not go well. On the flip side, I think Leslie Frazier just earned himself a full-time job. Or at least a real shot at one. (Vikings 24, Eagles 14)
RANKINGS
TOP 4:
1. New England (13-2) — Brady may never throw an interception again
2. Pittsburgh (11-4) — Yawn
3. Atlanta (12-3) — Offense got shut down Monday night
4 (tie). New Orleans (11-4) — Made a "don't forget about us" statement
4 (tie). Chicago (11-4) — Believe. BELIEVE!
BOTTOM 4:
29. Dallas (5-10) — Seriously, what happened to that defense?
30. Cincinnati (4-11) — In straight audition mode
31. Denver (4-11) — Tebow wins!
32. Carolina (2-13) — I'll offer my yearly ritual plea a week early this season: TRADE THE PICK
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