By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 6: Don't Leave Just Yet

Signal Finder: BAL @ IND (first half), STL @ WSH, CIN @ NYJ (second half), MIA @ HOU (end), PHI @ SF, DAL @ AZ (end)

Dan Orlovsky's (Close To) Actual Quote: "When the whistle blew, I thought, 'Did we false start? Were they offsides? Man, I'm an idiot.'" (Vikings 12, Lions 10)

I'm not sold on the Redskins' game plan so far - they should be bum-rushing the Rams' awful secondary. Plus they look a little sluggish. JUST FALL ON IT. That's the first thing that's gone right all year for the Rams. "Incognito", huh? That's a wildly inappropriate name right now. He probably just cost them the game. Or not. Lord knows I've been wrong before. (Rams 19, Redskins 17)

Wow, Schaub walked in untouched. Kubiak learned that play from Shanahan. Why are they going for two here? There's not enough time for the Dolphins to stop the clock and kick a field goal. (Texans 29, Dolphins 28)

Yeah, this is exactly why I hate the squib kick. Are the Falcons really 4-2? (Falcons 22, Bears 20)

Cross-country trip after a bad loss for a game they always lose - you can understand my trepidation. "Strikeability?" That's a new one to alert to Simmons, I think. Nolan's jacket looks too big. Allen Rossum! Hey, I remember you. stop doing that. "Splashability?" Tim Ryan's making this up as he goes along, isn't he? The double pitch? That's one I've never seen before. If Jackson goes left, he's in. Oh, no. What do you wanna call that one, Ryan? "Missedblockability?" This is where it all goes south. Or maybe not, as McNabb's trying his best to rally the troops. You know who's been good today is Buckhalter. The hell are they challenging that for? You'd almost think Mike Martz was invol... oh, wait. Juqua Parker! With SPEED! I still don't know how this happened. (Eagles 40, 49ers 26)

I know, "letter of the law" and all that, but it seems kind of harsh to call offsides when the guy's clearly hurt. Yeah, it's five more yards. Don't you people know that? BLOCKED! WHAT?! Wow. This would be such a Cardinals way for them to lose. BLOCKED! WHAT?! Wow. That was such a Cardinals way for them to lose. And yet... (Cardinals 30, Cowboys 24, OT)

Think the Chargers watched Ravens-Colts and said, "Hey, let's do that to... Deltha O'Neal?" I wonder what vengeance tastes like. Probably pepper bacon. Mmmmm. There's a couple more of these coming, Patriots fans. (Chargers 30, Patriots 10)

Odds of a Brady Quinn sighting tonight? 3:1? Jamal Lewis is still getting it done. Is this Old Eli resurfacing? I'm not sure it matters as I don't thin the Browns can hold the giants down all night. Unless that keeps happening. This is Old Eli resurfacing. Wow. That's Dawg Pound Pride right there. (Browns 35, Giants 14)

FANTASY REPORT

aPaFL (2-4, L1): Got nothing from anyone. NEXT.

JackSux (4-2, L1): Losing to Rob is never fun.

RANKINGS:

1. N.Y. Giants (4-1) - Man, I don't know. Seriously. I have no idea
2. Tennessee (5-0) - Yes, I'm pulling an Alabama in them
3. Pittsburgh (4-1) - Same here

30. St. Louis (1-4) - They tried their damnedest to lose
31. Cincinnati (0-6) - Gah
32. Detroit (0-5) - Are unaware of the dimensions of the field