By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 5: Fortune Faded

View Finder: NYJ @ NYG, DET @ WSH, CAR @ NO (end), ATL @ TEN (end), SD @ DEN

I can never tell who the crowd favors when this game happens. Speaking of that, here's a Recent Development, I think: it's not "Giants Stadium" anymore when the Jets are the home team. It's now "The Meadowlands." Jacobs is back? OK. That's a bad read by Eli. Right into coverage? Sheesh. That's a little better. Just give it to Jacobs or something. Like that. OOPS. "Cankles"? Who says "cankles" in a football game? That's not gonna help the ankle, Plax. And there's a bad read by Pennington. (Giants 35, Jets 24)

The Lions in Washington? Yeah, whatever. (Redskins 34, Lions 3)

Seriously, Trent, a blow to the head is why you ended up in this hellhole in the first place. WTF why would you do that? That's Ryan Leaf stupid right there. And did anyone catch the interview with the guy he hit afterwards? Just an insane scene. When did Kris Brown stop sucking, by the way? (Texans 22, Dolphins 19)

Steelers-Seahawks: Just as bad the second time around. (Steelers 21, Seahawks 0)

You know, none of us could actually be plugged into the Colts' offense and rush for 121 and two touchdowns, but it's cool to think it's possible. Yahoo doesn't even have a headshot of the guy. There's just a Colts logo there. Man, that's cold. (Colts 33, Buccaneers 14)

Has Simms called Cutler "Plummer" about three times already? Nice to see Norv learning from his mistakes, if only for the moment. Rivers' running form? Not so good. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Clearly they didn't hear me the first time. Now Michael Turner's lighting it up. Hey, we've found something Norv can do better than Marty: win in Denver. (Chargers 41, Broncos 3)

I'm not sure if the Packers will regret those fumbles or not. At worst, it keeps this from being a blowout. What exactly was that, Brett? PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Griese's actually doing a pretty good job of that. Let's put the shovels away for another week, at least. (Bears 27, Packers 20)

Possible trap game? Maybe. Ah, the O.J.-era uniforms. Maybe not the best choice. It doesn't look like it's gonna be Romo's night. The Cowboys are basically walking up to the line and telling Edwards, "You're going to have to beat us." Of course, Romo's giving him plenty of help. Can anybody on either side hold on to a pass tonight? Four picks? This is precedent for a quarterback switch, right? And there's a kickoff return for a touchdown. Man, this place is loud. Do the Bills have enough to hold on here? Never mind. Two-point conversion DENIED!! Maybe I was wrong. Not the onside kick. Come on, hold one time. They're reviewing it... and he did not catch that. That actually helps Dallas, though, in a sick turn of events. 52 yards? For a rookie? On the road? Wow. And Jauron PULLS THE SHANAHAN FREEZEOUT! (That's what I'm calling it from now on.) Let's see what Folk has in him this time. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Jaws is right - that rule's so getting changed. Man, the Bills run so bad. Neither team deserved what happened to them tonight. And we would've had to reopen voting for "Upset of the Decade" if this had held. (Cowboys 25, Bills 24)

FANTASY REPORT

aPa:CI (4-1, L1): Well, our luck couldn't last forever. Leinart got hurt and we lost to previously winless Max by 5 despite two of his guys not even playing.

JackSux 4 (2-3, L1): Got beat by Dupin even with Romo's turnover-fest potentially working in my favor. The Crayton touchdown was the nail in the coffin.

RANKINGS

TOP 3:
1. New England (5-0) - Crushed the Browns' dreams early
2. Indianapolis (5-0) - Time to heal
3. Dallas (5-0) - Better to be lucky than good?

BOTTOM 3:
30. New Orleans (0-4) - Looks like the bad old days all over again
31. St. Louis (0-5) - See last week
32. Miami (0-5) - Time for the John Beck era