2006 JackSux 3 Draft: Son of JackSux

So this league, which drafted last night, is the one that Rob runs, and I'd like to start off by thanking him for deciding to actually count receptions this year.

I log in and find out that, in a cruel twist, I'm drafting in the middle of the sequence, meaning I pick back-to-back at the end of the first round and then the beginning of the second round.

Team name is the subtitle of this blog.

ROUND ONE (10): RB Stephen Jackson. Now it really is his show in St. Louis. New coach Scott Linehan seems to want to use him more, so who knows.

I actually missed this pick because I had to reboot my computer for reasons yet unexplained.. Thank God the autodrafter actually went with my rankings and didn't do some BS like pick Brian Finneran or something. I did get into the room in time to do this:

ROUND TWO (11): WR Chad Johnson. What do you need to know? Makes plays, breaks games, scores touchdowns, all that. The first WR taken (Steve Smith went with the next pick.)

ROUND THREE (30): QB Eli Manning. He's got the weapons; he just needs to be more consistent. This maybe should have been Carson Palmer but I'd have liked him to have played a game by this point.

ROUND FOUR (31): RB Warrick Dunn. See the aPa draft. Also, with T.J. Duckett now gone, there one less person on the roster to vulture goal-line carries from him.

Somewhere in here I announced my presence in the draft chat to Jen and KS(? I think) after Jen said that nobody ever shows up late to a fantasy draft. After the draft, Butch posted on the message board that he was at the library and somehow couldn't connect. Also I don't know how Rob sets a draft time that he himself can't make :)

ROUND FIVE (50): TE Tony Gonzalez. Still one of the best at a position that's suddenly become loaded thanks in part to the new pass defense rules.

ROUND SIX (51): WR T.J. Houshmandzadeh. Chad's unheralded teammate. Some would say this is too early to be taking a No. 2 receiver, but 1) he's the No. 2 guy in one of the three most powerful offenses in the league; 2) it's a double-up; and 3) having Gonzalez is almost like having a second No. 1 receiver.

ROUND SEVEN (70): WR Nate Burleson. Should be a solid No. 2 guy for the Seahawks.

ROUND EIGHT (71): QB Trent Green. Good value as a backup this late, especially if Eli regresses. After this pick, Jen typed "*does something stupid*" and picked Deion Branch. :)

ROUND NINE (90): Seattle DEFENSE. The defense run and the kicker run kind of wove together at the beginning of this round They play defense. Plus Julian Peterson is a god among men.

ROUND TEN (91): RB DeAngelo Williams. Because DeShaun Foster is the new Fred Taylor and I happened to see him return a kickoff for a touchdown in the Fox game last night against the Dolphins.

It is somewhere in here that I realize that I've created a problem for myself. A nice touch Yahoo's added is showing the bye weeks for each player in the draft window. But I just now notice that Chad, T.J. and Burleson all have the same bye week (5, I believe). I'm going to need a few more receivers.

ROUND ELEVEN (110): But not before I take my token Eagle, K David Akers.

ROUND TWELVE (111): WR Laveranues Coles. I'm sure I butchered his name in the aPa draft report and I'll go back and fix it. But top receiver + bad team + questionable running game = crazy delicious. Jen took the Patriots' kicker with the next pick and I'm still wondering how the team named "Brady's Bunch" isn't hers. KS must have gotten to it first.

ROUND THIRTEEN (130): TE L.J. Smith. Another Eagle. Strictly a depth pick.

ROUND FOURTEEN (131): WR Michael Clayton. I think he'll bounce back after a subpar 2005 season. Knowing that Chris Simms will be the quarterback will help. Plus, Joey Galloway can't live forever.

ROUND FIFTEEN (150): WR Antwan Randle El. I wonder if the WR option's part of the Redskins' playbook. I doubt it.

ROUND SIXTEEN (151): WR Antonio Bryant. How many teams has this guy been on already? See the Coles pick.

Sadly

...there was no birthday pie to be had.

Although this does bring me to point out that I am a huge advocate of birthday pie. In fact, after I take over the world, that's going to be one of my first edicts. Birthday pie for all.

2006 USFLaPa Draft

I probably could have been in a third league this year but I can't win consistently at two yet. I have no business moving up.

This year's aPa draft came with a fun new twist as the New Jersey Seagulls got saddled with the No. 1 pick, meaning I also pick last at the end of every other round. It's a spot nobody really likes.

ROUND ONE (1): RB LaDanian Tomlinson. Popular opinion had LDT, Shaun Alexander or Larry Johnson as the best possible No. 1 pick. I went with Tomlinson because LJ doesn't have Tony Richardson and Willie Roaf to block for him anymore, and Alexander has to overcome not only the Madden cover curse (which I'd forgotten about) but also the Super Bowl losers' hangover. Plus LDT is a better pass-catcher than the other two.

ROUND TWO (28): QB Tom Brady. Reliable. Durable. Won't hurt you with turnovers. And if you think I'm going through another season with Chad Pennington, Kyle Boller and Mark Brunell, you're smoking crack.

ROUND THREE (29): RB Warrick Dunn. Got him in the fifth round last year and he did well for me in the Falcons' run-happy offense. I'm probably going to regret passing on Reggie Bush in this spot, though.

ROUND FOUR (56): WR Rod Smith. This guy just keeps putting up numbers. Some questioned him going before new teammate Javon Walker, but don't be surprised if they end up with similar stats when the season's over.

ROUND FIVE (57): QB Donovan F. McNabb. This was a coin flip between him and Matt Hasselbeck. Quarterbacks were getting snapped up left and right, there wasn't a second wide receiver I was in love with here, and in my position, I felt that if I didn't get a second QB soon, I'd be left with all second- and third-tier guys when my pick came back around.

ROUND SIX (84): WR Laveranues Coles. Eh, at this point in the draft all the receivers are about the same. Had Coles in my other league last year and wasn't offended.

ROUND SEVEN (85): TE Chris Cooley. I got this guy in the 14th round last year and he was a godsend. Fills a key role in Joe Gibbs's offense and should continue to improve.

ROUND EIGHT (112): I vomited before taking WR Keyshawn Johnson, as I don't like him and never thought he's ever lived up to his press clippings. But as a possession receiver and flex guy at this spot, I'll take it.

ROUND NINE (113): K Adam Vinatieri. The league's best kicker takes his game indoors and south to better weather. Really, he should never miss anything again. The kicker run actually started with Vanderjagt at the end of this round.

ROUND TEN (140): WR David Givens. An unsung guy last year who fills a depth need at this spot. Plus he's better than Drew Bennett and Billy Volek doesn't suck.

ROUND ELEVEN (141): TE L.J. Smith. Quietly had a solid season last year with 61 catches.

ROUND TWELVE (168): K Josh Brown. This ended the kicker run. Strictly a bye week pick.

ROUND THIRTEEN (169): Denver DEFENSE. The Great Cleveland Migration actually worked last year, and their linebackers are among the best in the business.

ROUND FOURTEEN (196): RB Ryan Moats. SPEED! (And possible return yards.)

ROUND FIFTEEN (197): WR Santonio Holmes. The only real-life rookie on the Seagulls. I think he's a possible sleeper who could be starting by year's end if he can stay out of the slammer. I mean, really, Cedrick Wilson?

So TJD Turned Three Last Week

...and we've decided to open the windows and let some damn light in here.

Over/Under: Uhhhh... What Time Is It Now?

Click the title.

(Arguably the most overlooked aspect of this story will be that Yahoo actually used "WTF" in a headline.)