Tuesday, October 18, 2005

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 6: The Dark Side of the Moon

View Finder: JAX @ PIT, NYG @ DAL (end), ATL @ NOSA (very end)

No Ben and no Hines Ward? This can't end well. No Taylor? That's... to be expected, quite frankly. I'm starting to think maybe the Steelers would've been better off with Charlie Batch - Maddox looks like he hasn't seen a football in two years. The Jags haven't been great by any means, but this game is begging to be stolen, and it's gonna happen right... oh, no, it's NOT. Byron overthrew that one. Did Mathis jump that route? Am I a prophet?

Chris Weinke's still alive?

Really, Who Gives A Rat's Ass?: Browns-Ravens.

Ricky's BACK. And... is rendered inconsequential? And Brown isn't doing so well either. That'd be the Tampa D we all know and mostly fear. OMG a Chris Simms sighting? Are the Bucs really 5-1?

They gave up 28 points to that offense? Are we absolutely positive the boats returned to shore?

Flipped to the last two minutes of regulation in Giants-Cowboys and saw the turnovers graphic. I appear to have not missed anything particularly scintillating or even watchable. The Giants drafted Brandon Jacobs to be what Ron Dayne never ended up being (and even gave him Dayne's number), but he's so tall and he runs upright and that's what's gonna happen. I still don't know how Thomas didn't get nailed for a safety on that second-down run. I guess Shockey's back. Does anybody want to win this game? Ah, there we go. You know, after watching this, I suddenly feel better about our own chances.

This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close: Bengals-Titans.

Oh, come on! Everybody holds! That was awful.

Who are you, and what have you done with Jake Plummer? You get the sense that everything is just adding up badly for the Patriots right now. Didn't we see this two weeks ago? Did that guy just hit him in the junk? What's that about? If Brady's going to pull this one out, he'd better get on the stick. Ah, here he comes, with Champ in the locker room to boot. But I'd like their chances better if Dillon was playing. And sure enough. The Bruschi announcement: inspiration or desperation? Discuss.

I think this Tomlinson kid's got a future in this league.

Shaq : 2004 Dolphins :: the Astros : 2005 Texans. Mr. Sunday Night is BACK.

See, this is how this offense is supposed to work. It'd be bad form to fire Martz right at this moment, wouldn't it? PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. What kind of name is "Cato June" for a human being? OK, once again I don't know who the Rams' backup QB is. Jamie Martin? That sounds familiar and yet it doesn't. You know what nobody's talking about is the season Edge is having so far. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Hey, there's something we've never seen before.

FANTASY REPORT

aPaFL Smackdown! (3-3, W1):
We're back at .500 after a tough 101-89 win over an improved Mercs squad. Brunell continues to pick on bad defenses and put up shockingly good numbers.

JackSux (6-0, W6): Have I mentioned how much I love having Tomlinson on my team? Yahoo really needs to start increasing his projections -- I was projected to lose this game. Instead, I beat the tar out of poor Dupin to the tune of 120.28-52.20.

RANKINGS

TOP 3:

1. Indianapolis (6-0) - This was a test, and the Colts passed
2. Denver (5-1) - Plummer plays big in important win
3. San Diego (3-3) - I think they beat the Bengals

BOTTOM 3:
30. Minnesota (1-4) - 67 points, third-fewest in the league (Baltimore, No. 32)
31. San Francisco (1-4) - Alex Smith shoud have made his first start this coming week
32. Houston (0-5) - Thankfully, nobody cares at the moment

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