Saturday, November 14, 2020

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 9: Shark Tanks

Or, more accurately, what's left of the Packers and 49ers. Joe and Troy note that this isn't Nick Mullens' first rodeo, and it was about two years ago that Thursday Night Football was  his first career start. Packers get the ball first. Aaron Jones is playing, and he catches the first pass of the game. Four straight touches for Jones and the Packers are at the 49ers' 37. Long ball to Adams in the end zone... this one's gonna be close. The elbow's borderline. The knee is out. It's called a touchdown on the field. Call STANDS. Touchdown! Niners have so few wide receivers that return specialist Richie James is starting. Not much comes of it, at least not on this drive. Rodgers badly overthrows a wide-open Adams. Mosley knocks down a ball intended for Adams on third and 5. James gets free for a big gain into Packers territory. Someone named Hasty gets stopped short on 2nd and 1 for the 49ers. McKinnon spins and gets to the 9. Mullens throws up a lob into the end zone and... this looks like he got both feet in, but does he keep control? This man's name is River Cracraft. Shouldn't he be playing lacrosse? (Mind you, it's not unlikely that he did.) Ruling is incomplete pass. Field goal is good. Buck thinks there's a part of Kyle Shanahan that relishes the challenge of being so badly undermanned. MVS drops a third-down pass at the marker. Punt JUST gets off. Holding brings back a nice run by Hasty. Mullens gets pressured and throws up a duck that gets intercepted. This pass to Tyler Ervin (the Packers' only other RB that I'm aware of) looks short, but the refs give him the first down. 49ers challenge the spot. Call REVERSED. I was right! Packers keep the offense on the field at the 49ers' 17. Rodgers, a master of getting opposing defenses to jump offside, can't do it here. They try again and Rodgers finds Adams, who breaks a tackle but stumbles out of bounds. He might be a little mad because he's have an easy touchdown if he'd stayed inbounds. Adams is interfered with in the end zone on third down. Play action fools EVERYONE and Marcedes Lewis is all alone to catch this touchdown pass. Jaire Alexander heads to the locker room for concussion evaluation. Mullens throws a bad pass that somehow doesn't get intercepted. Dexter Williams is your third Packers RB tonight. Rodgers scrambles for seven yards and a first down. Touchdown Valdes-Scantling! That'll get him back in Rodgers' good graces. MVS torched his defender and this is just pitch and catch. Rodgers is sacked to end the half. 21-3 Packers. 49ers' first drive of the second half ends with a punt into the end zone. "What A Fool Believes" into the break, for some reason.


Rodgers finds Adams down the sideline. He smoked Verrett, but can't stay inbounds. Still gets 49 yards.


Rodgers rolls right and finds MVS in the back of the end zone. Mullens is hit and fumbles. Packers ball. Trent Williams is also out for the 49ers, and that's the Packers' third sack also. Ervin makes a catch in space and gets to the 20. 49ers hold a goal-line stand and Crosby makes it 31-3. Big gain for James! That's why he's their return man. James gets nine on a screen on 3rd and 10. Niners hurry up and Mullens sneaks it... and doesn't get it! Rodgers with a great throw to Adams down the far sideline.


Buck wonders why Aaron Jones is still playing with this lead and coming off a calf injury. Crosby good from 53. Late touchdown catch by Richie James, who's probably been their best player tonight. Rodgers to the bench with five minutes left. Tim Boyle is his name. Not sure why Jon Lovitz's name came up. Mullens gets plastered but stays in. What was the point spread here? Cause the Niners are acting like there's a backdoor cover in play. Buck: "There are some people interested to see if the 49ers can get into the end zone." Somewhere, Al Michaels just sat bolt upright in bed. Touchdown McKinnon!! This may be more of an over/under situation, now that I think about it. (Packers 34, 49ers 17)

Signal Finder: BAL @ IND, NYG @ WSH, HOU @ JAX (end), DEN@ ATL (end), PIT @ DAL

Calais Campbell already out with a calf injury. That's a bad break for the Ravens, who are already scrambling on defense after having to isolate several players during the week. Touchdown Jonathan Taylor. How does "Rodrigo Blankenship" as a name happen? Bad snap just sits on the turf for a moment until Nick Boyle dives on it and ends up gaining a yard. This snap ALSO comes out low, but Jackson is able to find Brown on the sideline. Dez Bryant back! It's a running play, but it's also been almost two years since he tore his Achilles during Saints practice. Taylor fumbles! Clark's got it. Poor Philip Rivers. He fell on the pursuit, landed on his back and kind of helplessly waved in Clark's direction as Clark ran past him. Touchdown Ravens and we're tied.


Rivers throws this one behind Marcus Johnson, and he can't catch it. Fortunately, neither can the defender the ball deflected to. Evan Washburn comes in with a report that the Ravens center has a cut on his hand, which could explain the low snaps earlier. Jackson tries to spin away but Mohammad tracks him down. Third and 25! SPLENDID. Punt pins the Colts inside  their own 5. Rivers is hit on an incomplete pass, but the second hit from McPhee is flagged for roughing, getting the Colts out of their own end zone. Completion to Johnson, who Eagle calls a former Eagle. (He was actually acquired from the Seahawks after the 2017 preseason after they got him from the Eagles for Michael Bennett the previous offseason. So he's technically correct, as Johnson never played a regular-season game for the Seahawks.) Field goal is good and the Colts lead with 45 seconds left in the half. Ravens come out throwing to start the second half. Down the field to Nick Boyle for 21. Lamar runs to the Colts' 3 for a first down. Edwards fumbles! Colts recover after a scrum. Marcus Peters drops an interception. Ravens challenge. REVERSED. Wow! I'm not sure about that one because I'm not sure he ever actually had possession. Charles Davis agrees. He didn't. What the hell? How is that a pick? I should also note that that was the Colts' first play after recovering the fumble. Lamar to Hollywood for 20. Touchdown Edwards. Ravens line up to go for it on 4th and 3 from the Colts' 44, but have to call time out. The go for it anyway and get it. Third quarter ends. Jackson scrambles for nine. Fake handoff to Edwards, Jackson rolls left and he'll score. These pass routes need to be a little longer, Colts. Colts go for it on fourth down with less than six minutes left, and Judon hits Rivers' arm, knocking the pass down incomplete. (Ravens 24, Colts 10)

McCaffrey back. Reid and Rhule both using face shields. Is this the first two face shield game this year? Five seconds left. Panthers throw it short and it's knocked down. But there are still two seconds left. Now they bring Joey Slye on for a 67-yard attempt. He barely missed from 65 against the Saints last week and he's got a slight breeze behind him, we're told. EXTREMELY wide right. (Chiefs 33, Panthers 31)

Washington dropping everything, including this punt. Giants have it back and they're at the Washington 16. Let's see how they screw it up. They don't! Jones finds Austin Mack, who dives into the end zone. But of course, he's ruled down at the 1 and Gallman has to clean it up. 10-0 Giants. Kyle Allen down again. And he's not getting up.


Cart's out and Alex Smith is in. Two offensive holding penalties in the next three plays lead to a Hopkins 48-yard field goal try. It's good. Shepard gets free for 21. Giants finish it off with another field goal. This guy's name is "Board"? Jones damn near almost overthrew Engram, but he catches it with his fingertips for a touchdown. Smith to Logan Thomas to midfield. Smith to Cam Sims for 32. Intercepted! Blake Martinez usually just tackles people. Halftime. Smith finds Cam Sims down the sideline for 45. McKissick skips down the other sideline and appears to score but is ruled out of bounds at the 18. Washington does NOT challenge. Touchdown Gibson. Giants kick another field goal. Sims dodges Giants tacklers and picks up 33 yards. Washington only gets three when they needed seven there. Again, there's really no need for Alfred Morris to be getting important carries in 2020. Smith finds McLaurin in traffic. he makes a guy miss, takes off, and scores! 68 yards! 23-20. That's Smith's first touchdown pass in almost two years. Are the Giants about to blow another lead? Washington driving again. They're at midfield with 3:14 left. Why is Vilma talking about Washington kicking a field goal? They're not looking to tie this game. Smith is rushed, throws, and it's tipped and intercepted by Peppers! That was Daniel Jones-esque. Jones gets sacked but doesn't fumble.


Unfortunately, that drive only took 18 seconds. Giants punt. Smith throws ANOTHER interception, directly to Logan Ryan. And that's it. Five turnovers for Washington today. You're not beating anyone doing that. And on the replay you could see him grimace as Ryan closed it on it. He knew. (Giants 23, Washington 20)

Jaguars are starting sixth-round rookie Jake Luton for an injured Minshew. Wait, Tyler Eifert's a Jag? Luton spins away from a tackle and he'll score! His name banner on the back of his jersey is loose. They go for two and the pass is low and incomplete. (Texans 37, Jaguars 35)

Beating the Patriots last week was more important. But this one is bigger. (Bills 44, Seahawks 34)

This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close: Roof is OPEN. Garrett Gilbert to start for the Cowboys this week. Elliott apparently already hobbled. But the Steelers will get the ball first. Cowboys blitz and Roethlisberger takes off and slides for a first down. Claypool and Jourdan Lewis get tied up and there's no flag. Pollard with a big run down to the Steelers' 14. Gilbert is sacked on 3rd and 10. Field goal is good. Ah, yes, the AAF. Cowboys looking at fourth and inches from their own 31 and they haven't done anything yet. The offense stays out, tries to draw the Steelers offside... and the quarter ends. Cowboys decide to punt. Snell is stopped on third and short. This isn't even close. Steelers also line up to go for it, and the Cowboys call time. They give it to Snell again and he did not get there. Poor blocking up front on that one. Gilbert escapes the pocket and runs to midfield. The Steelers didn't bite on the play fake and had downfield covered, but Gilbert took off on his own. Gilbert with another run. Gilbert to Schultz for 15. Touchdown Gilbert to Lamb! Steelers aren't playing well right now. They punt. Wilson laterals it back to C.J. Goodwin... and is this gonna work? He's inside the Steelers' 10! But there's a flag. Illegal block puts the ball at the Steelers' 31. Cooper stumbles on third down and turns 15 yards into six. Zuerlein hits from 44 and it's 13-0. Roethlisberger goes deep for Claypool but they can't connect. Complete to Ebron for a first down out of bounds. Play action! Pump fake! Washington catches the touchdown. Boswell MISSES the extra point. Roethlisberger heading to the locker room. Masters next weekend! (And CBS will have three 4 o'clock games afterwards.) Lamb fumbles — the ball gets punched out of his hands — and Minkah Fitzpatrick has it! He reverses field for some reason and loses yards on the return. But now Mason Rudolph has to come in because Ben's in the locker room. Another tip drill and Juju ends up with the ball. But there's a flag. It's offsetting penalties, and there are seven seconds left. Incompletion. Boswell misses from 54 but there's a flag. False start, and the Steelers have to try it again because the Cowboys can't decline this because it's a dead ball penalty. Now it's from 59. Steelers call time out and I think they might change their minds here. They don't. IT'S GOOD. That's gotta be a career long for Boswell, right? It is, by six yards. It's also the longest in Steelers history. 13-9 Cowboys at halftime. Roethlisberger got sandwiched right before the touchdown pass, but he's coming out for the second half. It's been mostly Pollard running the ball for the Cowboys, and he gets 20 here. Field goal makes it 16-9. Elliott gets to the marker. I think he made it. He didn't. Field goal is good. McCarthy getting conservative again. Pass goes right through Claypool's hands. Juju converts, and that's the guy they gotta get back into the offense. Ben finds him over the middle, and he fights through tacklers for a touchdown! Extra point is BLOCKED! Tyrone Crawford got it (and he almost blocked the field goal at the end of the first half.) So it's 19-15. Big kickoff return now! 64 yards! Steelers' special teams have been terrible today. Second and goal pass gets knocked down. Gilbert's hit as he throws on third down and Fitzpatrick picks it off. Why'd he run it out of the end zone? Penalty was post-pick so it's still Steelers ball. Roethlisberger is sacked and fumbles! Cowboys pick it up and return it to the Steelers' 21... but there's a flag, and it's illegal contact. None of it will count. Then Vander Esch gets flagged for unnecessary roughness, which makes three straight Cowboys penalties. Steelers kick it after DeMarcus Lawrence knocks down a third-down pass. Cowboys punt again. Jaylon Smith gets called for roughing the passer. The rule's clear: You can't hit the quarterback in the head. Diontae Johnson with a 42-yard catch. How do the Steelers have five guys who are fast and can get open downfield? Touchdown Ebron! Steelers take the lead. They go for two but it's broken up. Craig Heyward's son sacks Gale Gilbert's son on fourth and 8. Steelers take over. Steelers do NOT try the field goal here at fourth and 1 with 43 seconds left, going for it instead. They don't get it. Conner lost four yards, even. Romo theorizes that they've had one kick blocked already and two more that could have been and Tomlin didn't feel like risking it. Plus, who are you betting on here: Garrett Gilbert, or the Steelers defense? Cowboys take over. Great sideline catch by Lamb at midfield. It stands upon review. Gilbert to Gallup for 20. Cowboys spike it. Cedrick Wilson gets out of bounds. Four seconds left. Gilbert goes to the end zone... and Fitzpatrick breaks it up. Because of course he does. (Steelers 24, Cowboys 19)


Bucs get the ball first. Three and out. Al calls Brees "the youthful one." Brees already 3 for 3 on this drive. TAYSOM HILL PACKAGE. He passes to Jared Cook for 20 yards. There's a big circle on the replay that says "NO COVERAGE." Tra'Quan Smith is WIDE open in the end zone. Can he stay inbounds? He can! Touchdown Saints. Bucs having trouble in coverage. Harris sits in the middle of the zone and jumps to make this catch. I thought it was going to be overthrown. We're halfway through the first quarter and Brees has already hit seven different receivers. Saints have a fullback? This fourth and 1 seemed like an ideal Taysom play. They get it anyway. Arians challenges but loses. Cook takes this catch to the 2, but he fumbles! Buccaneers have it. It's reviewed, of course, and there's nothing here to overturn this. Brady throws incomplete to Brown, then Gronk drops a pass on the sideline. Bucs don't have a first down yet. Kamara gets into the red zone. Touchdown... Adam Trautman? Who are these people? The Buccaneers still don't have a first down and we're into the second quarter. Brees goes downfield to Taysom for 21. He follows up with a hard seven yards. Brees to Sanders for a touchdown! He's the 11th Saint to catch a pass tonight. That's almost impossible. Brady gets picked off! Taysom is stunting on the Buccaneers right now.


Touchdown Kamara. This is wild. Good catch by Chris Godwin. First down Buccaneers! No, seriously. That's Brown's first catch as a Buc. Bucs go for it on 4th and 6, but Brady overthrows Gronkowski. He's never been down by this much. They hold the Saints to three. WE CAN BUILD ON THIS! Evans gets a first down. Brady picked off again, this time by Marcus Williams. (The Saints' two Williams safeties have not have good years.) It's halftime. NBC plays the Jeopardy theme over the Steelers-Cowboys highlights and Tirico's feeding Tony Dungy answers.


Shaq Barrett gets to Brees. It's called a fumble, and his hand's not coming forward. Buccaneers ball at the Saints' 21. Evans makes a sliding catch for a first down and hobbles off the field. DPI puts the ball at the 1. Gronk DROPS a third-down pass. Bucs go for it. End zone fade is incomplete to Evans!


Brees to Thomas for a first down. Latavius Murray finds a hole and rushes for 17. Buccaneers force a punt. Brady gets sacked again. He throws up a prayer on fourth down and that has "intercepted by Malcolm Jenkins" written all over it. Taysom carries for a first down. Brees to Josh Hill for another touchdown. Why is Brady still in this game? SAD FIELD GOAL. Ensuing kickoff goes out of bounds. Jameis! That's a wrap. (Saints 38, Buccaneers 3)

Is Darnold hurt again? Why is Flacco starting? Apparently it's his shoulder again, Lisa Salters reports. There's no reason 56-year-old Frank Gore should be getting any carries for a winless team. Denzel Mims with a catch for 20. Flacco throws too far for Perriman and he can't stay in the end zone. Field goal is good. Jets... lead? J-E-T-S chant piped in, for some reason. Cam finds Jakobi Meyers on play action for 33. Cam rolls right and they give him the touchdown. That's the Patriots' first first-quarter offensive touchdown of the season, in case you were wondering why things are the way they are. Extra point CLANGS through. 7-3. Cam throws short to James White on third down, and they get called for holding. Jets have now lost DT Quinnen Williams as well as LT Mekhi Becton to injury. Flacco goes deep to Perriman and he beats J.C. Jackson for a touchdown! That 50-yarder puts him ahead of... JOE MONTANA on the all-time passing yards list.


Pats are 11-11 on fourth down conversions this season. Make it 11 for 12 as White fumbles. Patriots recover but it doesn't matter. Your Jets kicker tonight is Sergio Castillo. Field goal is good.


On the other hand, Cam's 10-for-10 tonight. He gets flattened and there's a roughing the passer call. Cam to Meyers for 19. Folk hits from 45 with 1:03 left in the half. Flacco throws deep to Perriman and draws a close interference flag on Jason McCourty. Flacco just overthrows Crowder in the end zone. Oh, wait, that's a touchdown. 20-10 Jets at halftime. Pats on the move. They give it to Burkhead on 3rd and 4 and he gets there. Damien Harris is knocked out of bounds at the 1. Touchdown Burkhead. Jets on the move again. The Patriots' defense also hasn't been good this year. Perriman heads to the sideline after this third-down conversion. He's back, and the Patriots didn't see him, because he's got an easy touchdown catch in the far corner. Jackson's having a rough night. He just fell down on that play.


One thing I've noticed is that these Patriots receivers are getting open on these short outside routes. Cam scrambles in the pocket, avoids two sacks, and somehow finds Meyers for a first down. Newton loses his footing and gets tackled for a four-yard loss. The field goal team comes out. What? The Jets had 12 men on the field, because of course they did. Cam slips in the same spot again on third down. Folk makes this one from 29. Flacco goes deep for Mims but Jackson picks it off! Now Cam goes deep for Meyers but it's too far. This 1st and 20 pass to Meyers is incomplete. The Jets realize this, challenge, and win. Meyers gets 19 on 3rd and 20. Newton sneaks it on 4th and 1 and he gets it easily. Byrd catches a hitch, comes across the field, and is forced out at the Jets' 3! Cam keeps it himself but only gets two. Third down sneak gets it! Extra point is good. Flacco is sacked. If Belichick isn't going to call time out, don't snap the ball with 18 seconds left on the play clock. Pats force a PUNT. 47 seconds left. Another sneak for a first down. CALL TIME OUT, BELICHICK. CHRIST. Eight seconds left. Cam finds Meyers at the Jets' 32! Pats call their last time out. Folk from 51. IT'S GOOD!


When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way. (Patriots 30, Jets 27)

RANKINGS:
TOP 4:
1. Pittsburgh (8-0) — Gotta win games like this
2. Kansas City (8-1) — Same as above
3. Green Bay (6-2) — The trip west was probably the toughest part
4. New Orleans (6-2) — To be the man, etc.

BOTTOM 4:
29. N.Y. Giants (2-7) — Almost blew another one
30. Dallas (2-7) — Held on longer than they had any business doing
31. Jacksonville (1-7) — Marrone's getting fired finally, right?
32. N.Y. Jets (0-9) — It's extremely possible

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