Thursday, January 16, 2020

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 17: Vision Boards

Signal Finder: GB @ DET, MIA @ NE, LAC @ KC (end), PHI @ NYG, PIT @ BAL

Packers start off roughing the passer. OK. Lions look discombobulated on defense. Graham drops a potential big gain. Lions run a reverse to Amendola — who passes back to Blough! Touchdown Lions! Thanks to that penalty on Adams,the Packers gained 17 yards on a 10-play drive. Not ideal. Lions go three and out. Lions challenge this Adams catch on the sideline. At first glance, I didn't think he was inbounds. Let's see. Oh, that foot's on the line. This should be an easy one. Yep, reversed. Rodgers gets sacked. Lions getting good runs with Kerryon Johnson, who came back from a knee injury last week that people thought would end his season. Blough finds Golladay for 43 yards! Can't suplex guys. Blough somehow gets that pass away with ZaDarius Smith pulling him down, but Lacy can't catch it. Blough scrambles and dives for the end zone, but doesn't make it. Lions going for it. Touchdown Johnson! Aaron Jones down and it looks serious. Graham makes up for his earlier bad drop with a big play. Rodgers puts a little too much on this throw and he just misses Jones, who's back in. GAME OF INCHES. Field goal is good. This is Ty Johnson, and he breaks two tackles and takes off! He goes out of bounds after 40 yards, leaving 11 seconds. He gets 11 more and sets up Prater for a makeable kick. GOOD. 17-3 Lions at halftime. Rodgers goes long to Lazard on the sideline, but he can't stay inbounds either. Crosby misses. Rodgers drills one to Lazard. Lots of short passes here. Adams gets away from the coverage and Rodgers finds him for a touchdown. Packers just went 95 yards. I feel like we've seen a variation of that "how many leads the Lions have blown this season" graphic six times in this game alone. I don't know that the Packers have called a single running play in the second half. I haven't seen one. Allison drops a short pass. Jones gets clocked on an incompletion on second down. Third down pass gets broken up. Now what? Packers kick a field goal. 12-plus minutes left, I don't hate it. That's a big pass interference penalty on Alexander. Prater from 56. GOOD. Blough turtles and gets sacked by Martinez. On the next play, Martinez picks off Blough! Good return puts the Packers in business. Amendola shoves King after the return and that'll add 15 yards. Touchdown Lazard!! Review STANDS. We're tied! Packers get the ball back and are driving. They called OFFENISVE pass interference? Where? No, Charles, I still don't see it. INTERCEPTION. Why is Kumerow being targeted in that situation? (And Allison was open down the middle.) Lions go three and out, because they're the Lions. Rodgers hits Valdes-Scantling for a big gain. Jones with a big run! Packers are in field goal range. Rodgers slings one to Jones. Crosby from 33. GOOD! Aaron Rodgers, man. Packers guaranteed a bye. (Packers 23, Lions 20; Saints 42, Panthers 10)




Falcons also pulling out all the stops. We've seen the pass to the tackle-eligible before, but in the open field? And dude took it 35 yards for a score?




And creates the NFL's 30-30 club! (It's also his sixth pick-six this season, tying a record held by Peyton and someone named Rudy Bukich for the '66 Bears.) Wait. Wait, wait, wait. It was the FIRST SNAP OF OVERTIME? LEGEND. PLAY OF THE YEAR. (Falcons 28, Buccaneers 22, OT)

Meanwhile, the Dolphins are completely out of fucks to give.




First quarter took less than 30 minutes of real time. Parker knocks down his own pass. Pick six for the Dolphins! That's the first time they've ever done that to Brady. (And it was Eric Rowe, who used to play for them.) Is this game secretly in Miami? The Patriots' running game makes an appearance. Field goal is good. Highlights of the last time (2009-10) the Patriots didn't have a first-round bye. They lost big to the Ravens. Brady with a bomb to Dorsett. Harry takes a reverse from Brady seven yards for a first down. Touchdown Michel. Tied at 10. Neither team used a time out in the first half. They just want this to be over. Are the Grammys early this year? That date seems early. Now the Dolphins run a wide receiver pass to the fullback. Fitzpatrick completely misses Gesicki. He tries again and he finds Gesicki, who gets to the Patriots' 2. Touchdown Dolphins?! Brady just threw a 38-yard touchdown pass to a linebacker. HIS OWN linebacker, to specify. Meanwhile,the Dolphins have to pass because they can't run the ball at all this year. Parker! Wide receiver pass is incomplete. Field goal is good and the Dolphins lead.




Brady with a week to throw and he eventually finds Sanu for 30 yards. Screen to White and the Patriots retake the lead.







I'm glad the Dolphins got smart and extended Parker because they finally tried using him in the offense and saw what he's worth. Dolphins convert 4th and 2 to force first and goal at the 5. We see that the Chiefs just went up 9, PAT pending. TOUCHDOWN GESICKI!!




Brady with 24 seconds left. Dolphins' defensive backs flying around making plays now. Patriots reduced to pitchy-pitchy woo-woo and I'm not sure they actually gained any yards. That is SEISMIC. Reid: "Hail to the Dolphins." (Dolphins 27, Patriots 24; Chiefs 31, Chargers 21)

Spite will NOT rule the day for the Ravens, as Jackson and a few other starters aren't playing. DeAnthony Thomas is a Raven? Hm. Edwards will get most of the carries today with Ingram sitting out. Field goal is good. Steelers' first drive nets one yard. That's not beating anyone. Griffin finds Hurst for 15 yards. Tucker hits from 22, because of course he does. Hodges lofts one to Johnson on the sideline for 21 yards. Snell bursts through the hole and reaches the Ravens' 2. Touchdown Snell and it's 7-6 Steelers. Brandon Carr's still in the league? The Ravens seem to be just running their regular offense with their backups, like it's Week 2 of preseason. Field goal puts the Ravens back up 9-7.
Eagle comes back from the Eagles touchdown highlight with "But what did Carson Wentz get his offensive linemen?" which is a reference to some pure first-world bullshit. Hodges is sacked and fumbles, and the Ravens recover! Justice Hill (?) scores. I don't know who that is. 16-7 with 21 seconds before halftime. Ravens' first drive of the second half ends with a fumble by Edwards that Haden recovers. I should note that Snell's been getting the bulk of the work today at running back for the Steelers. Hodges overthrows Juju on third down. Steelers kick the field goal as the Titans begin to pull away. That ball's out. That's a Ravens touchdown! And now we've got a safety. Harbaugh not happy about something. The interception, most likely. Settle down, dude. You won. (Ravens 28, Steelers 10)

Derrick Henry didn't practice last week, and he puts up 212 and wins the rushing title. (Titans 35, Texans 14)

Still don't get why Buck and Aikman are at Redskins-Cowboys instead of here. That game has strings attached! Eagles starting at their own 7 for... some reason. Now Ward's down. He walks off but they're literally out of guys. Sanders! Leonard Williams knocks down a third-down pass. Eagles going for it on 4th and 7 from the Giants' 38. Giants blitz and this has no chance. Crevon LeBlanc (!) breaks up a pass on third down. Sanders looking like Barkley on that run. Wentz finds Goedert down the seam for a first down. Drive sinks in the red zone, but Elliott makes the field goal. Eagles swarm Barkley, then run a stunt to perfection and Graham gets a clean sack. Jenkins making plays on special teams. It's a wild scene. Douglas runs down Shepard and breaks up the pass. Agree with Spielman that that's not a great throw. Wentz finds an open ward for a first down. Another blitz gets to Wentz. We're getting more Titans-Texans highlights than Washington-Dallas highlights. (Probably because there haven't been any.) That's a good punt. We're 15 miles away from that bridge. Maddox breaks up a pass to Shepard. This week's Giants offense ain't last week's Giants offense. Wentz has Scott open downfield but misfires. First down Giants on a pass to Smith. Not sure how Tate held on to that. Maddox, who made the tackle, is now in the medical tent. Sanders has an ankle injury. Safety blitz ends this Giants drive. Field goal is good. 3-3 here right after the Cowboys go up 13-3. It's Sasha "Banks", Thom. No Jordan Howard yet. Scott with a big catch and run. Deontay Burnett with his first catch as an Eagle. Eagles run a quick quarterback sneak on 4th and 1 and it works. Wentz rolls out, throws across the field, and somehow Josh Perkins catches it for a touchdown! Fired that right past DeAndre Baker, who's had a rough rookie season. "The Seed [2.0]" into break.



Now Brandon Brooks is being taken off on a cart. This is ludicrous.




Hell, we've forgotten Corey Clement's been on IR since, like, Week 5. I feel like Eli would have hit some of these deep throws Jones is missing. As I say that, Jones finds Smith across midfield. The Eagles' pass rush is really affecting Jones. I'm not sure where that throw was meant to go. 10-3 Eagles at halftime. Pederson tells Shannon Spake that Sanders and Brooks are probably done for the game. Cowboys' lead cut to 20-10. That game's not even at halftime yet. McLeod wrecks Smith but he recovers the loose ball. Has Shepard caught a pass yet? The Eagles have had someone in front of Barkley every time he touches the ball. Now Graham's being looked at.




Eagles stop Barkley twice. Giants run a play action bootleg with Jones to get it on 4th and 1. Touchdown Tate! Basically the same play as the Perkins touchdown. Jet sweep to Ward doesn't fool the Giants. Jones takes a hit and finds Slayton, who lit the Eagles up for a half in their first meeting. They run the Jones bootleg again for eight yards. Another miss to Shepard. Giants go for it on 4th and 4 but it's incomplete to Shepard again. Two straight completions to Ward. GOEDERT. Dragged that right foot. Sick catch. Wentz overthrows Perkins for a possible touchdown. Scott gets inside the 10. Scott takes a solid shot on his next carry, bounces off, and scores! Matt Pryor, Brooks's replacement, took out two guys there. BARKLEY. 68 yards and we're tied again.




Big play and great catch by Robert Davis (!) gets wiped out by a holding penalty on Big V. Third quarter ends. Wentz to Burnett to the Giants' 33!







Elliott is good from 50. That's a big sack. Loose ball! Eagles recover at the 1! That's not on Jones — the snap hit him in the leg. Touchdown Scott! Eagles stop Barkley on 4th and 2 and take over. Wentz finds Scott again, who puts on a weird spin move for no apparent reason. He's down at the 2! And he finishes it off. Brennaman's only partly overstating this — Boston Scott's definitely gonna become a folk hero in some circles. That's it.




Sidney Jones gets a late pick.




The Cowboys scoring 47 points in a game that ultimately didn't matter is so... fitting.




(Eagles 34, Giants 17; Cowboys 47, Redskins 16)

Good night from the L.A. Coliseum. (Rams 24, Cardinals 17)

So the loser goes to Philly. BEAST MODE RETURNS. Collinsworth says there's nothing Lynch could do that would surprise him tonight. Bosworth raised the flag? Well, they're losing tonight. Lynch does not start. Seahawks go three-and-out. Coincidence? Al points out that Emmanuel Sanders actually played all 17 weeks — he was traded and missed both the Broncos' and 49ers' bye weeks.
Gould hits from 47. Lynch comes out for the second series to a POP. Garoppolo jogs forward a bit and finds Kittle for a first down. Reverse to Samuel, who makes a spin move along the sideline and scores! Or does he? Did he step out on this spin? Let's see. Call STANDS. I agree with this decision.




Garoppolo threads the needle and gets it to Kittle for a first down. Gotta catch that. Field goal is good and it's 13-0 49ers.




This Travis Homer guy is the only holdover Seahawks running back. Seahawks hand it to Lynch on fourth and inches and... it didn't work, either. K.J. Wright lays out Brieda and the Seahawks pick up the ball. Officials review and change the call to an incompletion. Nothing comes of it and we go to halftime. Lynch breaks out! Wilson scrambles and throws a deep fade to Moore in the end zone, but it gets called back. Wilson finds Homer on a crossing route to convert 3rd and 5. Then he buys time and somehow gets that to Lockett in the back of the end zone! Was he across the line of scrimmage? Nope — he's got one leg behind it, and the rule is your whole body has to be across for it to be illegal. Also, Lockett's back was to the play. How did he even know to catch it? Garoppolo goes downfield to Juszczyk. Kendricks is down and this looks serious. Samuel to the 1! Touchdown Mostert. 49ers go for two and... that's close. I don't think Bourne's in. Refs say no and it stays 19-7. Replay shows he bobbled it, and McAuley thinks a clean catch would have gotten it done. 49ers are wearing their 90's uniforms and they've grown on me. I still prefer their classic 80's look, though. Lockett gets inside the 15. Wilson overthrows Metcalf but Lynch draws a defensive holding call. Lynch goes over the top for a touchdown! Crowd roars. Skittles for everybody!




Did the 49ers just dust off the old counter trey? Kittle again and the Seahawks haven't had anything for him tonight. Mychal Kendricks update: seems to be a leg injury. Touchdown Mostert! Wilson to Moore for 13. Lockett comes up hurt but he got interfered with, the refs say. First down from the 49ers' 16. Metcalf with a ridiculous touchdown catch! 26-21 now. Oh wow. A late block after the whistle turns a Niners first down into 3rd and 17. They get 16 back! 49ers are gonna punt, which honestly surprises me.




Russ doing Russ things. Metcalf! Inside rush bothers Russ and he throws early and incomplete. Not sure why they haven't run the ball since Shanahan doesn't seem interested in using his time outs. That's DPI. No booth review? First down! Did he think he scored? How did George Fant end up ten yards behind the play? And who the hell is John Usura? DELAY OF GAME. Wilson throws a floater into the far corner that falls incomplete. He's been missing badly down here on this sequence. Complete to Hollister! Did the ball break the plane? Ward has the ball and he's running the other way! That's not a touchdown. (Not for the Seahawks, at least.)







GAME. OF. INCHES. The play should end there, because Hollister's down.







Nine seconds? Seems like a lot. That delay of game penalty killed the Seahawks. Garoppolo sneaks it out to the 3! Game over! When did they change the times for the Sunday divisional games? (49ers 26, Seahawks 21)

RANKINGS:
TOP 4:
1. Baltimore (14-2) — Let's just win anyway
2. San Francisco (13-3) — Lot of weird games this season
3. (tie) Green Bay (13-3) — 13 wins with a rookie head coach?
3. (tie) New Orleans (13-3) — Going through motions
3. (tie) Kansas City (12-4) — They got the 2 seed!

BOTTOM 4:
29. N.Y. Giants (4-12) — Looks like they're starting over again
30. Washington (3-13) — Thanks for nothing
31. Detroit (3-12-1) — Imagine not firing Patricia after this farce
32. Cincinnati (2-14) — And the Andy Dalton era comes to an end
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kramer sandra said...
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Sat Feb 15, 04:48:00 PM

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