Monday, January 27, 2020

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth: Wheeled Out

J.J. Watt's playing? The hell? He tore his pec three months ago.




I'd like to see the Bills add a bigger receiver. Allen with SPEED! 42 yards to the Texans' 20! The Bills bust out the John Brown wide receiver pass again — and this time it goes to Allen for a touchdown!




No Will Fuller for the Texans. Big run by Duke Johnson to start. Stills has done well to fill in for Fuller when necessary (which has been a lot.) Texans challenge what they think is a missed DPI.




Call stands, because of course it does. Texans punt.




Allen zips one to Duke Williams, who extends his arms to catch it for a first down. Offensive holding makes it first and 20. Bradley Roby reads Allen like a book, but somehow can't secure the interception. That would have been a touchdown. Watson throws low to Hopkins. They're gonna call him out of bounds three yards short on this sideline run. That might have been worth a challenge if O'Brien hadn't blown one on a pass interference no-call that never gets overturned. Bills blow up the pocket and Watson eventually goes down despite his best efforts. Singletary bursts through the middle for a good gain. Allen finds a wide-open Brown for 28. Allen takes off, but the ball comes out at the end! Texans have it, but all turnovers are reviewed. I think he's down. Call REVERSED. Conley gets in front of Brown and knocks the pass away. Quarterback draw fools no one. Allen looks for Brown on the sideline, but he can't stay inbounds. Hauschka makes it 10-0. Watson gets sacked for the third time today already. Pass protection is a problem for the Texans right now. Maybe running the ball would help with that. I feel like I've complained about this before fairly recently. Another good catch by Williams to convert 3rd and 8. Another good run by Singletary. Allen throws to the end zone, but Williams can't bring this one in. Hauschka makes the kick and it's 13-0 Bills. We end the half with Booger saying it's time for O'Brien to "put up or shut up" in the playoffs. Lisa Salters' report... is interrupted by what appears to be a Bills touchdown on the second-half kickoff? What the hell is going on? Carter fielded the kickoff in the back of the end zone and tossed the ball to the ref. It hit the ground, then the Bills rushed it and picked it up in the end zone. After a talk, the refs rule Carter was giving himself up and call it a touchback, AS THEY SHOULD. "Common sense prevails." Hopkins has only two targets. Another sack by the Bills. Big run by Allen. I would absolutely not punt on 4th and 5 from the Texans' 40 here. They are reeling right now. Knock them out.




Speaking of knockouts, an official gets bowled over at the goal line. Maybe don't wait until after your quarterback's been sacked five times to try to run the ball, Texans. Hopkins makes the catch, but he fumbles! Bills ball! Scuffle breaks out afterwards. Allen picks up a first down on a sneak. GORE! Watt with a sack to force another field goal. T.J. at the game. It's good and it's 16-0. Hopkins makes a catch and keeps it finally. Watson finds Hopkins on the sideline. Watson with a keeper and he bulls his way into the end zone! That's CLOSE. Call STANDS. Texans go for two. Watson runs a quarterback sweep, stretches out, and gets there!




Maybe Williams can be the big receiver the Bills don't really have yet. Allen gets sacked and fumbles. Texans ball! Third quarter's over. Stills! Fairbarn hits from 41. Hopkins beginning to assert himself. Pass to Fells and... he's NOT in. First and goal. Watson fumbles but Hyde saves it for the Texans. And is immediately rewarded with a touchdown catch! Texans lead! Two-point try is good to Hopkins.




Big catch-and-run by Singletary gets the Bills into Texans territory. Allen goes right on 3rd and 1 and gets three. Mercilus comes in untouched and wrecks Allen, who will likely also get flagged for intentional grounding here. The Bills' offense has choked on itself. Fourth and 23.




Now fourth and 27. Against a 54-yard field goal try? That's a Sophie's Choice. They go for it, but Allen gets sacked AGAIN! They're back in Bills territory! Unbelievable. And there's 1:35 left. THAT'S when you punt, you idiots! The Texans are almost in field goal range already.




Three straight runs get them to the Bills' 30. What are they doing? KICK THE FIELD GOAL, YOU ABSOLUTE MORON. Oh my God. They didn't get it. There may not be a worse game coach than O'Brien now that Mike McCarthy's out of the league. (The Cowboys hired him the Monday after wild card weekend. -Ed.) Bills take over. Allen takes off, spins, and fumbles a lateral to Knox, who luckily knocks it out of bounds. This is the worst late-game decision-making I've seen from both teams in the same game since... well, since last year's NFC championship. Kid panicked. No other explanation.




John Brown needs to see a pass on this drive. There it is, after two tries. Roby misses another interception. Pass to Beasley gets a first down. Or does it? Booth is reviewing it. Bills' field goal unit is already out there, which is smart, as it'll be fourth down if it's ruled short. Call STANDS. First down! Bills spike it to bring the offense back onto the field (smart!) with 20 seconds left. Allen takes two shots to the end zone and now Hauschka comes on. Bills haven't kicked a field goal this late in a season since the Norwood miss. It's GOOD! PLAYOFF OVERTIME.




Watson gets flushed out of the pocket (again) and Fells can't hold on to a high throw on third down. Why is the fullback 40 yards downfield? And why is Allen throwing it to him? He hits Knox underneath and he picks up the first down. He runs about 15 yards diagonally and somehow gets the ball to Singletary for 13 yards. I thought he dropped it at the end. Cody Ford gets hit with a blindside block penalty. Bills forced to punt. Watson sacked again. Shocking.




Watson finds Johnson, who picks up 3rd and 18. They've pushed back the kickoff of the next game by 10 minutes. Bold to think this shitshow will be over by then.




Watson finally gets away from a blitz and finds... Taiwan Jones? For 34 YARDS?! Get the offense off the damn field, O'Brien. THANK YOU. Fairbarn on for 29. GOOD!! Tessitore: "Great game in Houston!" No, Tess, this game sucked. (Texans 22, Bills 19, OT)




Um. Is that fog? Brady gets hit as he throws and almost gets picked. Benjamin Watson somehow catches that while being blanketed. Screen to White gets 20. Pats already desperate, and Brady overthrows the end zone. Field goal is good. Hey, Ryan Tannehill's starting a playoff game. Henry showing how he won the rushing title.




Titans moving in silence like real G's. They're in the red zone already. Touchdown! Some dude named Firkser who I've never seen before in my life. Michel with a big run. Edelman takes a pitch (?) for a touchdown. Tannehill's pass gets knocked down. Titans' defense holds against a... linebacker-turned-fullback dive? Brady's deep ball to Sanu gets broken up. Burkhead takes a short pass and gets to the Titans' 1. Brady calls time out after second down. Handoff to Michel, who goes left and gets stopped! What a stand. Field goal is good. Henry takes off! He's out at the 1! They motion A.J. Brown into the backfield and give it to Henry on a dive anyway. Touchdown! Logan Ryan drops a pick six. You can only expect so much from a Rutgers man. Hail Mary falls incomplete. 14-13 TITANS at the half. They'll get the ball to start the third. More Henry? Yes, please. Brady misses Edelman wide. The Titans lose Benjamin Watson in the zone, but an ineligible man downfield penalty wipes out a 40-yard play. Henry fumbles but the Titans hang on to it. That's a good punt. Brady with a crucial quick pass to Edelman on third down. Tannehill converts a quarterback sneak. End of 3. Bad underthrow by Tannehill and it's intercepted! Brady takes a shot deep, but it's broken up. He gets hit and his third down pass falls well short of Dorsett. And it wasn't even a good punt. Nantz wants Romo's take on Brady's future but Romo's not quite willing to bite. Dion Lewis makes the catch and collides with Gilmore. Romo says he's not sure Brady knows what he'll do yet — it depends on how the Pats go from here, and if McDaniels gets another head job (which I personally can't imagine.) Tannehill on a option keeper for four on 3rd and 2. Another first down from Henry. If I'm the Titans, I don't throw another pass tonight. Did the Titans just take two straight penalties on 4th and 4? Belichick is mad about something.







Then the PATS jump offsides. Punt finally goes off and it lands out of bounds in side the Patriots' 10. I feel like they could have just kicked the field goal?







You know why, Mike. White breaks a tackle and gets to the 31. Titans' defense holds and the Patriots punt to the Titans' 12. Tannehill goes to Firsker and he catches it for a first down! Firsker's the first Harvard player to score a touchdown in the playoffs, which makes me wonder if Ryan Fitzpatrick has even been on a playoff team. Two minutes left! Pats with one time out that they don't use yet. No gain for Henry on 2nd down and now they take it. Titans run it again and there's 25 seconds left. I punt this out of bounds. Patriots come after it, and Kern gets off a line drive. It rolls to the 1-YARD LINE. Pick-six by Logan Ryan! THE KING IS DEAD?




Titans wisely going for two here, up 20-13. Romo finally says he thinks Brady will play next year. But he doesn't say where. Henry doesn't convert. The kickoff... man, I don't know. Titans win.







And now... we wait. Happy birthday, Derrick! You've given us the best gift possible. (Titans 20, Patriots 13)




Janoris Jenkins starts out holding Diggs. Dalvin Cook back. Thielen fumbles at the end of this catch and run and the Saints have it! Vonn Bell returns it to the Vikings' 4! A replay shows he stepped out of bounds at the Vikings' 37. Now they're re-reviewing it for... some reason. They eventually put the ball at the 37 and add three seconds to the clock. Three runs equal a Saints first down. First Thomas catch of the game. First and goal. A rare Brees sack forces fourth down. Lutz hits from 29. Cook gets swarmed for a loss. The Vikings also get his backup, Maddison, back, and he catches a pass for 10 yards. Cook gets the first down on a pitch. Double reverse falls apart. Was Diggs thinking of throwing it for a moment? They survive that loss and a Bailey field goal ties the game. The Saints are only the third 13-3 team to not be a top-2 seed, and this is the second time it's been them.




Thomas with a circus catch on the sideline. Vikings doing a good job of staying in front of the Saints' other receivers. Taysom Hill takes the handoff and picks up 2nd and 5. Then he stays in at quarterback and throws deep to Dionte Harris! He's down at the Vikings' 5. Touchdown Kamara. Rudolph breaks two tackles after a catch and gets a first down. Cook speeds for 22. Then he takes a swing pass 19 yards to the Saints' 4. We come back to a grounded Skycam. TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. Cook comes back in on third down. Where was he? Getting his face shield repaired, sez Chris Myers. He takes a pitch left, but loses two yards. Field goal team comes in and Bailey hits from 21. Brees deep ball goes off Smith's fingers. Two plays later, he throws deep again into double coverage and Harris picks him off. He returns it to the Saints' 48 and we're at the two-minute warning. Thielen falls down but still makes this catch on a low throw. Touchdown Cook. Harris with a 54-yard kickoff return into Vikings territory. He's All-Pro for a reason, folks. Thomas gets open and makes a touch catch at the 25. Lutz MISSES from 43! Vikings take a 13-10 lead into the locker room. Second-half kickoff is sent away from Harris. Officials can't decide where to put the ball. They settle on the 25. Brees scrambles for five. Saints lost about 30 yards thanks to that blindside block on the punt. Diggs somehow hasn't been targeted yet, and he's not thrilled about it. Cousins takes a shot, but he gets the pass off and Thielen beats Lattimore and brings it in at the Saints' 20. Vikings run a play fake and Cousins was about to run it himself before Diggs flashes open. Risky throw into traffic, but Diggs catches it. Now the Saints' defensive backs are arguing. Tensions are high. Delayed touchdown call on this Cook run. I thought he'd gotten it, but that replay makes me less sure. Call stands. 20-10 Vikings.




Saints aren't protecting Brees well. Fake punt! Taysom Hill gets the first down on a direct snap, but they weren't set and it won't count. This has to be the Vikings' formula: Run the ball, play defense, don't rely on Cousins. It's working so far. Six people move on this Vikings play, and they catch Riley Rieff. Screen to Maddison bounces around and is eventually ruled incomplete. Third quarter ends. Jared Cook with a big catch on third down. Ted Ginn lives! The Vikings are already down two corners and they've just lost Rhodes, who's had a rough last month. Brees goes to Taysom Hill for a touchdown!




Cousins just misses a big gain and the Vikings punt. Hill takes a direct snap for a first down. He takes another snap and goes down the sideline for 28 yards, trucking Harris in the process. Fumble! Vikings ball! Thielen makes the catch on third down after the Saints blitz, but he tries to make a move and Lattimore throws him back. I think it's a first down. Cook FUMBLES? TOUCHDOWN SAINTS! Oh man, Cook's down. This is coming back.




Call REVERSED. But the Vikings lose eight. Cousins gets sacked off a three-man rush. Saints get the ball and Brees starts hitting everything. Cook pushes through some tacklers for a first down. The Saints get called for an illegal shift hurrying to the line, and they run 10 seconds off the clock. I'm surprised they're kicking it now with seven seconds left. I think they have time for another play. Zimmer ices Lutz, which won't work. Drilled. 20-20. Overtime. Guess Xavier-St. John's will start on FS2 or something. Vikings win the toss. Buck says this is the first time we've had multiple overtime games in the wild card round. Slant to Diggs gets a first down. Cook runs away from the blitz and into Saints territory. THIELEN! Down at the 2! Aikman calls it the best throw of Cousins' career. Cook tries to go outside but gets tripped up. Aikman spots Rudolph split out wide up top, and Cousins hits him in the corner of the end zone! Wow. (There's no way OPI gets called here. None whatsoever.) Imagine losing an important game to Kirk Cousins. Who do the Saints think they are, the Eagles? (Vikings 26, Saints 20, OT)

Wind's up. Seahawks get the ball first. Both teams missing offensive line starters. LeBlanc stops Lockett on third down. Wentz toss gets away from Sanders, but he picks it up and throws it away. Someone ran into the punt returner. Wilson scrambles and picks up 22 yards. Cox blows up the pocket on third down. Field goal is BLOCKED. Looks like Curry got it.




NBC still using that colored zone thing. Jenkins chases Wilson out of the pocket, but he completes it to Metcalf in traffic. Graham down after Wilson completes to Lockett. We come back to Graham sitting on the bench and Wentz headed to the locker room. NBC finds the play — Clowney got him in the back of the head with his own helmet as he was going down.




Myers makes the field goal. Now what? McCown in for his first-ever playoff snap.







Sanders takes a run to the 45. OPI takes away this Hollister first down catch. Carroll challenges this incompletion to Lockett on the sideline. Yep, that's a catch. At first it looked like he only got one foot down twice. Seahawks lose yards and end up punting. This game could end 3-0 at this rate. McCown stumbles on the handoff but Scott gets 15. Sanders finds a hole on the left side. McCown guns one to Goedert, then takes off on a run of his own (to a pop, even.) Ziggy Ansah ran into his own teammate, an accurate summation of his Seahawks career. Elliott field goal ties it. Duke Riley's a captain? Home teams are 10-0 in bird-on-bird playoff violence. Metcalf with a big play down the sideline. David Moore makes the catch, breaks a tackle and picks up some blocks. He's down to the 5. Collinsworth's not sure how that worked. Barnett with a dumb late hit after a third-down incompletion. Lynch powers ahead, spins, and scores. The half ends with Sanders on the turf as the fans are still upset about an uncalled shove on McCown.




Hey, an Ertz sighting! Flowers gets flagged for interference. McCown drops the snap but still gains three yards. K.J. Wright hits him hard on third down. Field goal is good. Graham back for the Eagles. Wilson rolls out and dumps it to Lynch on 3rd and 1. Metcalf! He beats Maddox, bounces up from the ground after the catch, then drags Maddox into the end zone. That feels like the end. Scott gets 21 on 2nd and 16. Sanders back in and gets seven. Ward gets tossed out of bounds and wants a flag, but doesn't get it. Eagles might have to go for this. They do not, and Elliott hits from 38 after a high snap. Wilson rolls away from pressure, breaks a tackle, and converts 3rd and 15. Oh, look, the Eagles gave up a big play on third and long. THAT'S never happened before.




Jenkins with a sack, which forces a punt. Sanders goes for 18. McCown hits Ward for 14, then Ertz for 12. Scott only gets two yards, breaking the streak. Eagles now in field goal range but I don't think they're thinking field goal here. False starts creates 3rd and 16. McCown to Goedert for 12. Eagles go for it, but McCown to Sanders falls incomplete. That's that, I'd imagine. Eagles get a stop! Shelton Gibson draws a pass interference call! Ball's at the Seahawks' 13. McCown gets sacked. Fourth and 7 and... ah, crap. Clowney sacks McCown. That's a bitter pill.




(Seahawks 17, Eagles 9)

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Thursday, January 16, 2020

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 17: Vision Boards

Signal Finder: GB @ DET, MIA @ NE, LAC @ KC (end), PHI @ NYG, PIT @ BAL

Packers start off roughing the passer. OK. Lions look discombobulated on defense. Graham drops a potential big gain. Lions run a reverse to Amendola — who passes back to Blough! Touchdown Lions! Thanks to that penalty on Adams,the Packers gained 17 yards on a 10-play drive. Not ideal. Lions go three and out. Lions challenge this Adams catch on the sideline. At first glance, I didn't think he was inbounds. Let's see. Oh, that foot's on the line. This should be an easy one. Yep, reversed. Rodgers gets sacked. Lions getting good runs with Kerryon Johnson, who came back from a knee injury last week that people thought would end his season. Blough finds Golladay for 43 yards! Can't suplex guys. Blough somehow gets that pass away with ZaDarius Smith pulling him down, but Lacy can't catch it. Blough scrambles and dives for the end zone, but doesn't make it. Lions going for it. Touchdown Johnson! Aaron Jones down and it looks serious. Graham makes up for his earlier bad drop with a big play. Rodgers puts a little too much on this throw and he just misses Jones, who's back in. GAME OF INCHES. Field goal is good. This is Ty Johnson, and he breaks two tackles and takes off! He goes out of bounds after 40 yards, leaving 11 seconds. He gets 11 more and sets up Prater for a makeable kick. GOOD. 17-3 Lions at halftime. Rodgers goes long to Lazard on the sideline, but he can't stay inbounds either. Crosby misses. Rodgers drills one to Lazard. Lots of short passes here. Adams gets away from the coverage and Rodgers finds him for a touchdown. Packers just went 95 yards. I feel like we've seen a variation of that "how many leads the Lions have blown this season" graphic six times in this game alone. I don't know that the Packers have called a single running play in the second half. I haven't seen one. Allison drops a short pass. Jones gets clocked on an incompletion on second down. Third down pass gets broken up. Now what? Packers kick a field goal. 12-plus minutes left, I don't hate it. That's a big pass interference penalty on Alexander. Prater from 56. GOOD. Blough turtles and gets sacked by Martinez. On the next play, Martinez picks off Blough! Good return puts the Packers in business. Amendola shoves King after the return and that'll add 15 yards. Touchdown Lazard!! Review STANDS. We're tied! Packers get the ball back and are driving. They called OFFENISVE pass interference? Where? No, Charles, I still don't see it. INTERCEPTION. Why is Kumerow being targeted in that situation? (And Allison was open down the middle.) Lions go three and out, because they're the Lions. Rodgers hits Valdes-Scantling for a big gain. Jones with a big run! Packers are in field goal range. Rodgers slings one to Jones. Crosby from 33. GOOD! Aaron Rodgers, man. Packers guaranteed a bye. (Packers 23, Lions 20; Saints 42, Panthers 10)




Falcons also pulling out all the stops. We've seen the pass to the tackle-eligible before, but in the open field? And dude took it 35 yards for a score?




And creates the NFL's 30-30 club! (It's also his sixth pick-six this season, tying a record held by Peyton and someone named Rudy Bukich for the '66 Bears.) Wait. Wait, wait, wait. It was the FIRST SNAP OF OVERTIME? LEGEND. PLAY OF THE YEAR. (Falcons 28, Buccaneers 22, OT)

Meanwhile, the Dolphins are completely out of fucks to give.




First quarter took less than 30 minutes of real time. Parker knocks down his own pass. Pick six for the Dolphins! That's the first time they've ever done that to Brady. (And it was Eric Rowe, who used to play for them.) Is this game secretly in Miami? The Patriots' running game makes an appearance. Field goal is good. Highlights of the last time (2009-10) the Patriots didn't have a first-round bye. They lost big to the Ravens. Brady with a bomb to Dorsett. Harry takes a reverse from Brady seven yards for a first down. Touchdown Michel. Tied at 10. Neither team used a time out in the first half. They just want this to be over. Are the Grammys early this year? That date seems early. Now the Dolphins run a wide receiver pass to the fullback. Fitzpatrick completely misses Gesicki. He tries again and he finds Gesicki, who gets to the Patriots' 2. Touchdown Dolphins?! Brady just threw a 38-yard touchdown pass to a linebacker. HIS OWN linebacker, to specify. Meanwhile,the Dolphins have to pass because they can't run the ball at all this year. Parker! Wide receiver pass is incomplete. Field goal is good and the Dolphins lead.




Brady with a week to throw and he eventually finds Sanu for 30 yards. Screen to White and the Patriots retake the lead.







I'm glad the Dolphins got smart and extended Parker because they finally tried using him in the offense and saw what he's worth. Dolphins convert 4th and 2 to force first and goal at the 5. We see that the Chiefs just went up 9, PAT pending. TOUCHDOWN GESICKI!!




Brady with 24 seconds left. Dolphins' defensive backs flying around making plays now. Patriots reduced to pitchy-pitchy woo-woo and I'm not sure they actually gained any yards. That is SEISMIC. Reid: "Hail to the Dolphins." (Dolphins 27, Patriots 24; Chiefs 31, Chargers 21)

Spite will NOT rule the day for the Ravens, as Jackson and a few other starters aren't playing. DeAnthony Thomas is a Raven? Hm. Edwards will get most of the carries today with Ingram sitting out. Field goal is good. Steelers' first drive nets one yard. That's not beating anyone. Griffin finds Hurst for 15 yards. Tucker hits from 22, because of course he does. Hodges lofts one to Johnson on the sideline for 21 yards. Snell bursts through the hole and reaches the Ravens' 2. Touchdown Snell and it's 7-6 Steelers. Brandon Carr's still in the league? The Ravens seem to be just running their regular offense with their backups, like it's Week 2 of preseason. Field goal puts the Ravens back up 9-7.
Eagle comes back from the Eagles touchdown highlight with "But what did Carson Wentz get his offensive linemen?" which is a reference to some pure first-world bullshit. Hodges is sacked and fumbles, and the Ravens recover! Justice Hill (?) scores. I don't know who that is. 16-7 with 21 seconds before halftime. Ravens' first drive of the second half ends with a fumble by Edwards that Haden recovers. I should note that Snell's been getting the bulk of the work today at running back for the Steelers. Hodges overthrows Juju on third down. Steelers kick the field goal as the Titans begin to pull away. That ball's out. That's a Ravens touchdown! And now we've got a safety. Harbaugh not happy about something. The interception, most likely. Settle down, dude. You won. (Ravens 28, Steelers 10)

Derrick Henry didn't practice last week, and he puts up 212 and wins the rushing title. (Titans 35, Texans 14)

Still don't get why Buck and Aikman are at Redskins-Cowboys instead of here. That game has strings attached! Eagles starting at their own 7 for... some reason. Now Ward's down. He walks off but they're literally out of guys. Sanders! Leonard Williams knocks down a third-down pass. Eagles going for it on 4th and 7 from the Giants' 38. Giants blitz and this has no chance. Crevon LeBlanc (!) breaks up a pass on third down. Sanders looking like Barkley on that run. Wentz finds Goedert down the seam for a first down. Drive sinks in the red zone, but Elliott makes the field goal. Eagles swarm Barkley, then run a stunt to perfection and Graham gets a clean sack. Jenkins making plays on special teams. It's a wild scene. Douglas runs down Shepard and breaks up the pass. Agree with Spielman that that's not a great throw. Wentz finds an open ward for a first down. Another blitz gets to Wentz. We're getting more Titans-Texans highlights than Washington-Dallas highlights. (Probably because there haven't been any.) That's a good punt. We're 15 miles away from that bridge. Maddox breaks up a pass to Shepard. This week's Giants offense ain't last week's Giants offense. Wentz has Scott open downfield but misfires. First down Giants on a pass to Smith. Not sure how Tate held on to that. Maddox, who made the tackle, is now in the medical tent. Sanders has an ankle injury. Safety blitz ends this Giants drive. Field goal is good. 3-3 here right after the Cowboys go up 13-3. It's Sasha "Banks", Thom. No Jordan Howard yet. Scott with a big catch and run. Deontay Burnett with his first catch as an Eagle. Eagles run a quick quarterback sneak on 4th and 1 and it works. Wentz rolls out, throws across the field, and somehow Josh Perkins catches it for a touchdown! Fired that right past DeAndre Baker, who's had a rough rookie season. "The Seed [2.0]" into break.



Now Brandon Brooks is being taken off on a cart. This is ludicrous.




Hell, we've forgotten Corey Clement's been on IR since, like, Week 5. I feel like Eli would have hit some of these deep throws Jones is missing. As I say that, Jones finds Smith across midfield. The Eagles' pass rush is really affecting Jones. I'm not sure where that throw was meant to go. 10-3 Eagles at halftime. Pederson tells Shannon Spake that Sanders and Brooks are probably done for the game. Cowboys' lead cut to 20-10. That game's not even at halftime yet. McLeod wrecks Smith but he recovers the loose ball. Has Shepard caught a pass yet? The Eagles have had someone in front of Barkley every time he touches the ball. Now Graham's being looked at.




Eagles stop Barkley twice. Giants run a play action bootleg with Jones to get it on 4th and 1. Touchdown Tate! Basically the same play as the Perkins touchdown. Jet sweep to Ward doesn't fool the Giants. Jones takes a hit and finds Slayton, who lit the Eagles up for a half in their first meeting. They run the Jones bootleg again for eight yards. Another miss to Shepard. Giants go for it on 4th and 4 but it's incomplete to Shepard again. Two straight completions to Ward. GOEDERT. Dragged that right foot. Sick catch. Wentz overthrows Perkins for a possible touchdown. Scott gets inside the 10. Scott takes a solid shot on his next carry, bounces off, and scores! Matt Pryor, Brooks's replacement, took out two guys there. BARKLEY. 68 yards and we're tied again.




Big play and great catch by Robert Davis (!) gets wiped out by a holding penalty on Big V. Third quarter ends. Wentz to Burnett to the Giants' 33!







Elliott is good from 50. That's a big sack. Loose ball! Eagles recover at the 1! That's not on Jones — the snap hit him in the leg. Touchdown Scott! Eagles stop Barkley on 4th and 2 and take over. Wentz finds Scott again, who puts on a weird spin move for no apparent reason. He's down at the 2! And he finishes it off. Brennaman's only partly overstating this — Boston Scott's definitely gonna become a folk hero in some circles. That's it.




Sidney Jones gets a late pick.




The Cowboys scoring 47 points in a game that ultimately didn't matter is so... fitting.




(Eagles 34, Giants 17; Cowboys 47, Redskins 16)

Good night from the L.A. Coliseum. (Rams 24, Cardinals 17)

So the loser goes to Philly. BEAST MODE RETURNS. Collinsworth says there's nothing Lynch could do that would surprise him tonight. Bosworth raised the flag? Well, they're losing tonight. Lynch does not start. Seahawks go three-and-out. Coincidence? Al points out that Emmanuel Sanders actually played all 17 weeks — he was traded and missed both the Broncos' and 49ers' bye weeks.
Gould hits from 47. Lynch comes out for the second series to a POP. Garoppolo jogs forward a bit and finds Kittle for a first down. Reverse to Samuel, who makes a spin move along the sideline and scores! Or does he? Did he step out on this spin? Let's see. Call STANDS. I agree with this decision.




Garoppolo threads the needle and gets it to Kittle for a first down. Gotta catch that. Field goal is good and it's 13-0 49ers.




This Travis Homer guy is the only holdover Seahawks running back. Seahawks hand it to Lynch on fourth and inches and... it didn't work, either. K.J. Wright lays out Brieda and the Seahawks pick up the ball. Officials review and change the call to an incompletion. Nothing comes of it and we go to halftime. Lynch breaks out! Wilson scrambles and throws a deep fade to Moore in the end zone, but it gets called back. Wilson finds Homer on a crossing route to convert 3rd and 5. Then he buys time and somehow gets that to Lockett in the back of the end zone! Was he across the line of scrimmage? Nope — he's got one leg behind it, and the rule is your whole body has to be across for it to be illegal. Also, Lockett's back was to the play. How did he even know to catch it? Garoppolo goes downfield to Juszczyk. Kendricks is down and this looks serious. Samuel to the 1! Touchdown Mostert. 49ers go for two and... that's close. I don't think Bourne's in. Refs say no and it stays 19-7. Replay shows he bobbled it, and McAuley thinks a clean catch would have gotten it done. 49ers are wearing their 90's uniforms and they've grown on me. I still prefer their classic 80's look, though. Lockett gets inside the 15. Wilson overthrows Metcalf but Lynch draws a defensive holding call. Lynch goes over the top for a touchdown! Crowd roars. Skittles for everybody!




Did the 49ers just dust off the old counter trey? Kittle again and the Seahawks haven't had anything for him tonight. Mychal Kendricks update: seems to be a leg injury. Touchdown Mostert! Wilson to Moore for 13. Lockett comes up hurt but he got interfered with, the refs say. First down from the 49ers' 16. Metcalf with a ridiculous touchdown catch! 26-21 now. Oh wow. A late block after the whistle turns a Niners first down into 3rd and 17. They get 16 back! 49ers are gonna punt, which honestly surprises me.




Russ doing Russ things. Metcalf! Inside rush bothers Russ and he throws early and incomplete. Not sure why they haven't run the ball since Shanahan doesn't seem interested in using his time outs. That's DPI. No booth review? First down! Did he think he scored? How did George Fant end up ten yards behind the play? And who the hell is John Usura? DELAY OF GAME. Wilson throws a floater into the far corner that falls incomplete. He's been missing badly down here on this sequence. Complete to Hollister! Did the ball break the plane? Ward has the ball and he's running the other way! That's not a touchdown. (Not for the Seahawks, at least.)







GAME. OF. INCHES. The play should end there, because Hollister's down.







Nine seconds? Seems like a lot. That delay of game penalty killed the Seahawks. Garoppolo sneaks it out to the 3! Game over! When did they change the times for the Sunday divisional games? (49ers 26, Seahawks 21)

RANKINGS:
TOP 4:
1. Baltimore (14-2) — Let's just win anyway
2. San Francisco (13-3) — Lot of weird games this season
3. (tie) Green Bay (13-3) — 13 wins with a rookie head coach?
3. (tie) New Orleans (13-3) — Going through motions
3. (tie) Kansas City (12-4) — They got the 2 seed!

BOTTOM 4:
29. N.Y. Giants (4-12) — Looks like they're starting over again
30. Washington (3-13) — Thanks for nothing
31. Detroit (3-12-1) — Imagine not firing Patricia after this farce
32. Cincinnati (2-14) — And the Andy Dalton era comes to an end
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Sunday, January 5, 2020

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 16: Make Your Stand

Is Jameis Winston good? Serious question. I feel like he'll never be anything more than this generation's Vinny Testaverde, and not just because of the team he plays for. PICK SIX ON PLAY TWO. This is why I asked that question.




Just think: they're gonna give him $35 million guaranteed this offseason. 7-0 Texans, but you knew that. I'll note during this scuffle on the kickoff that our booth is Rich Eisen, Joe Thomas, and Nate Burleson. Bucs challenge an uncalled pass interference. We learn that Bruce Arians has a former NFL official on his staff to handle just these situations. Call STANDS. ANOTHER pick-six, pending this flag. Penalty is an illegal block on the return, so no touchdown, but Justin Reid's (who Winston never saw) interception still stands. Burleson is shocked and I don't quite get why.




Watson throws one up the sideline that almost gets intercepted, then almost caught. But defensive holding gives the Texans new downs. Have they called a single run on this drive? This pitch that Stills dropped is ruled an incomplete pass. Watson scrambles but can't pick up a first down. Field goal is good.




Eisen wonders if it's him — Winston's thrown seven interceptions in games he's called. Yes, Bucs. Run the ball. And that's a big one by Ronald Jones, which they really needed. Bucs go for it and pitch it to Peyton Barber, who goes left and gets the first down, but the Bucs held. 54-yard field goal try is BLOCKED. These are the Bucs of my youth. As is Shaq Barrett jumping offsides for no reason. This is a fumble, but the officials ruled that Fells' forward progress was stopped, and Arians is NOT happy about it. Texans can't pick up 3rd and 9 and they set up for a field goal. It's a quick kick! Out of bounds at around the 10. O.J. Howard caught a pass! Wow. The Bucs don't have their top two receivers, Mike Evans and Chris Godwin. Winston overthrows Justin Watson in the end zone. Then he overthrows Breshad Perriman in the end zone. Bucs try one from 50. It's good! Feels like the Texans should be up 20. Watson turns the corner and gets 3rd and 4. Fumble is actually called and the Bucs recover! Then Winston throws an interception right to Jonathan Joseph. Terrible decision. Joseph (who Burleson says has been in the league since 1980) had too good coverage. Have the Texans called a single running play? I'm serious. That's a hell of a punt. Barber FUMBLES! Texans ball. Unbelievable. A RUN! WOW. And another one. Maybe O'Brien's figured out you're allowed to do that. Watson zings one to Fells for an apparent touchdown. Yeah, his knee's down. Hyde punches it in. Bucs get a stop on the Texans' next drive. Their defense has played well. O.J. Howard with another catch. Another Winston throw sails and Reid barely misses another interception (it hit the ground). Eisen acknowledges his struggles with Winstons and Watsons. Nice catch by Perriman on the sideline. O'Brien challenges this, and he should win because replay shows Perriman's right foot was out of bounds. Call REVERSED. That's the first challenge the Texans have won this season, apparently. Big pass play to... Cody McElroy? Buccaneers ball at the Texans' 4. Touchdown Jones. Now Watson throws an interception! It's returned 30 yards to the Texans' 39. Winston overthrows Perriman AND Justin Watson. Jameis hits a big pass to get inside the Texans' 10, then almost throws another interception with a bad pass into coverage. Winston scrambles and finds Justin Watson for a touchdown! This game is tied and on every illegal substance imaginable.




Field goal is good and the Texans regain the lead. Winston scrambles and stretches for a first down. Jones dives on 3rd and short and picks it up. It doesn't work a third time, and the field goal team comes out. It's good and we're tied again. Feels like no one's been able to get open for the Texans — Watson's been dancing around the pocket a lot today. End of 3. This is an all-time bad game from Hopkins.




Fuller's been out since the first quarter with a groin injury. Watson gets it to DeAndre Carter for a first down! Lavonte David, as good as he is, can't and shouldn't be covering wide receivers. Texans miss a flea-flicker. Fairbarn puts the Texans back in front. Winston hits Jones across the middle. Good job by Perriman to hold on to that catch. Ex-Buc Hargreaves flattens Jones on 3rd and 2. Bucs go for it on 4th and 3 from the Texans' 40. Brate DROPS it! Texans take over. Watson gets sacked. No idea why the Texans keep throwing when nobody's been open all game. This Carter catch is close. That's... not a great spot? O'Brien does not challenge, leaving it to fourth and short. Now the Buccaneers call time out, which is especially strange since the clock was stopped because Laremy Tunsil was hurt. Texans PUNT. Perriman's had a good game but he's in the medical tent after a big hit. Two minutes left. Perriman back out. Winston gets sacked. INTERCEPTED BECAUSE OF COURSE IT IS. Again: The Buccaneers are going to guarantee him $35 million this season. Offensive holding on the Texans stops the clock. Bucs now stuck at their own 4. Eisen offers to refuse all future Bucs assignments is Winston throws another pick here. He does not, but still. Texans win the South. (Texans 23, Buccaneers 20)

Bills defer, so this sorry offense will take the field first. Brady finds a hobbled Edelman for a first down. Burkhead fumbles after a catch and the Bills recover! Micah Hyde sets up blockers for a nice return. Bills start at the Pats' 31. Allen misses Knox in the corner of the end zone and Hauschka puts them on the board with three. Patriots running an actual linebacker out as a fullback now. It's working, as they're running the ball well on this drive. Matt LaCosse with a nice stretch upwards to pull that pass out of the air, and then he fights through a tackle to get into the end zone.




Beasley shows good body control in both leaping to catch that pass, and then getting both feet down inbounds. Punt pins the Pats at their 1. Somehow Sanu caught that pass and not the defender. Michel hits the hole quickly and gets nine yards. With the Texans' win, the Pats' three losses have all been to division champions. Brady out here throwing blocks on this reverse to Harry. That's how desperate this is. And a good block! He took out Tre'davious White! Pats at the Bills' 27 and they're going for it on 4th and 1. Michel may have gotten it. That's not a great spot but I don't see how you change it, and regular readers know how I feel about challenging spots. Brady to Edelman for 12 on 3rd and 14. Field goal is good. J.C. Jackson lights up Beasley to force a three and out. No one back to return this punt, for some reason. Santa helping run audio. Doesn't he have more pressing matters? False start turns 3rd and 18 into 3rd and 23 for the Bills. Patriots almost block this punt and get the ball at midfield. Kevin Johnson cuts Harry off to force a punt. Allen with a laser to Knox! Knee's down at the 1. Bills still have a time out. Call is reversed and correctly placed at the 1. Bills use their last time out. Gotta throw this with 10 seconds left. Allen rolls out but the pass is knocked down. Touchdown to DION DAWKINS. (He is an offensive tackle.) Extra point ties it at 10 at halftime.




Sweet play fake by Brady leads to a big Burkhead catch and run. OPI on Edelman takes away a Benjamin Watson touchdown, which would have been the oldest touchdown combination in NFL history. Nick Folk hits from 51. Allen goes deep to John Brown, who beats Devin McCourty for a touchdown! Pats come back with a fake jet sweep to Meyers and then a screen to Burkhead to end the third quarter. White almost makes a play on Meyers. Brady finds Burkhead on the sideline for a first down. Brady rolls right and, look, he's not getting five yards. Ed Oliver stops him cold and Folk kicks the field goal. Edelman's back, and he goes for 30 yards. Back to the run game. This feels like it's been Michel's best game in weeks, and this is what this offense is going to have to be. Brady sneaks and gets it. First and goal from the 2. Bills barely get a time out called before Michel scores, but they do get it called. (They were trying to mass substitute.) Burkhead bounces off a tackle and puts the Pats in front. They also accept an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty here so they can go for two from the 1. Brady to Edelman, and it's 24-17 with 5:06 left. Allen hits Beasley on a slant route. Brown wants an interference flag but doesn't get it. Refs reset the clock, which didn't stop for some reason, to 4:20. (That reason, of course, is that the Patriots are dirty, shameless cheaters.)




Allen to Beasley again. And again, after a blitz. They run on 3rd and 3 and don't make it. Allen sneaks, gets stopped, but he bounces outside and gets the first down. Gutty. It's hard to snap the ball too high for a 6-foot-5 quarterback, but a new center will do that. Beasley gets to the 8! Designed Allen run doesn't work. Let's think ahead at the two-minute warning. If you're the Bills, do you go for two if you score? Too high for Knox. Allen gets sacked on third down. Pats blitz on fourth down and Allen throws up a dying quail that gets knocked away. Not yet, Bills. Not yet. (Patriots 24, Bills 17)

Rams hand the ball to Gurley, who gets stuffed. Pass to Josh Reynolds to get into 49ers territory. HIGBEE. Rams in business at the 49ers' 13. Touchdown Cooks. Richie James has a RETURN developing here. He cuts back inside! He's down at the RAMS' 20! Is this gonna be one of those games? Bad snap here? 49ers settle for three, which feels like a huge loss. Near disaster on this punt for the Rams, as they almost muff it. 49ers force a three-and-out. Garoppolo is intercepted by Ramsey, his first of the year for anyone. (Marcus Peters has been better than him since the trades.) Goff drops one into Woods's hands for a 29-yard gain. Goff slides and gets a shoulder to the head, adding more yards. Gurley rounds the corner and scores to open the second. 14-3 Rams. Two screens to Samuel and Juszczyk get the Niners to the Rams 19. End around to Samuel for... a touchdown! Tough catch by Cooks and he gets suplexed at the end of it. Another bootleg by Goff and the 49ers haven't figured that out yet. Screen to Higbee gets another first down. Goff goes to Higbee again and he reaches the one-yard line. Goff throwaway bounces off the crossbar. Touchdown Gurley! Kittle gets onto the score sheet finally. Then so does Sanders. Touchdown Mostert.




Fred Warner with a one-handed interception! He's not getting caught. Touchdown 49ers! Great play on a bad decision by Goff. 24-21 49ers at halftime. Double tip drill and the Rams pick it off! This pass falls well short. In fact, it's intentional grounding. Field goal is NO GOOD. We learn that Mostert's real first name is Dominique, named for Wilkins. Niners trying a 56-yarder with Gould. Actually, they're not, as they take a delay of game and punt. Defensive fronts taking over here. Woods! Touchdown Kupp. Rams retake the lead. Goff finds Woods over the middle. Screen to Woods gets stifled. Rams have contained Kittle tonight — that's only his fourth catch. Dwelley takes a head shot from Weddle and that'll be first and goal. Garoppolo throws on the run and Kittle makes the catch for the touchdown! Harris drops an interception. Then he makes a big tackle on Woods that forces a field goal try. Legatron hits from 52, which he missed from earlier. We're tied with 2:30 left! Big catch by Bourne. Another sack. That's six for the Rams tonight. Garoppolo has Sanders deep! 46 yards on the second 3rd and 16 on this drive!




Davis is amazed how badly the safety blew that coverage. 49ers run the clock down. Gould sets up. It's GOOD! *crosses off Rams* And I believe we officially have our Week 17 Sunday night game. (49ers 34, Rams 31)

Signal Finder: PIT @ NYJ, NO @ TEN, BAL @ CLE (end), DAL @ PHI

LeVeon's new team gets the ball first against his old team. He gets the ball on the first play on a swing pass. Among Adam Gase's many coaching crimes is his criminal lack of use of that guy. It's almost as if they're trying to make up for that today for SOME reason. Jets rush to get a play off quickly on fourth and short, and a flag comes out. Their plan to catch the Steelers offside, at least, worked. Scuffle breaks out. Touchdown Robby Anderson! Is Juju gonna play again this season? Nice run by Conner. Interception! I think you have to wonder if Hodges continues to struggle with turnovers, does Tomlin go back to Rudolph? The Jets almost give it right back on a deep ball, but Haden can't hold on to it. Ficken just makes one from 54 yards out. Washington gets taken down with a horse-collar tackle. Another interception! This one's by Marcus Maye in the end zone. We come back from commercial to see Rudolph with his helmet on. The Steelers still need to win games — they're tied with the Titans at 8-6. Rudolph in. Jets blitz immediately but he finds Washington for 13. Drive ends with a punt, which is technically an improvement. Jaylen Samuels takes a short pass 27 yards, and Rudolph takes a shot after getting rid of it. He takes a bad sack to create 3rd and 19. They get eight, setting up a makeable field goal attempt. Boswell good from 48. T.J. Watt with a strip sack! Rudolph overthrows Washington, but the Jets get flagged for illegal contact (which is a break for them, as it could have been DPI). Touchdown Johnson!




The Jets haven't had a decent cornerback since Revis left the first time. We're tied at 10 at halftime. Conner won't be back for the second half. Darnold runs away from Watt. Smart. Pouncey being helped up for the Steelers. Samuels drops a third-down pass, and this is out of Boswell's range. They'll punt on 4th and 7. Rudolph seems to have a neck issue? Or something? Hodges has his helmet back on. Meanwhile, Darnold throws his fifth straight incompletion. Jets punt and Hodges is back in. Washington breaks a tackle and gets five extra yards. Bad snap and Hodges goes down for the second straight play.
Ficken extends the Jets' lead. Steelers have a disastrous series and have to punt on 4th and 14 with 1:59 left. They force a three-and-out, which they needed, and will get the ball back with about 1:30 left. Deon Cain gets the first down and out of bounds. Hodges goes deep but it's broken up. That's great work by Maye. Hodges drops the snap, picks it up, and heaves one down the field. Wait, Juju's in the game? Incomplete! Jets assistant Hines ward got the Gatorade shower he wanted. (Jets 16, Steelers 10)







(Giants 41, Redskins 35, OT)




Seriously, Dolphins? You were up by 23! Jebus. And now neither team's even trying to score.




The Dolphins took three knees before this field goal attempt for the sole purpose of running out the clock. That's some big-time paranoia. It's GOOD! I believe the Cincinnati Bengals are now on the clock. (Dolphins 38, Bengals 35, OT)

Titans score first here on a pass from Tannehill to Jonnu Smith. Brees gets sacked. Titans call a reverse to A.J. Brown, who isn't touched until he reaches the end zone. Touchdown! Eli Apple being helped off after tripping over a falling Lattimore. Kevin Byard dives for an interception but it goes through his hands. On the next drive, two Saints end up in the back of the end zone and the pass to one of them is knocked away. The Saints' offensive line is struggling to protect Brees so far. Field goal is good.




Saints give Brees time, and he finds Thomas for a first down. That's 137 catches, six short of the single-season record. This offense isn't clicking today otherwise. By the way, no Derrick Henry for the Titans today, so Dion Lewis is carrying the load — and, on that last run, carrying a couple of Saints as well. Damario Davis with a sack. Jared Cook, wide open down the sideline, gets a block from Kamara and goes 61 yards for a touchdown. Not sure what this scuffle's about, as Dawkins handed the ball to the ref three yards away. Oh, I see — Chauncey Gardner-Johnson got hit with a Thesz press. Halftime. Kamara goes 40 yards for a touchdown (his first one in what seems like a long time) and the Saints lead. Lewis bounces outside for his best run of the day. Offensive holding kills this drive. Is this a fumble? No, Thomas didn't catch that. This challenge should fail.




He caught this one, though, and the Saints are across midfield. Kamara to the goal line. Review puts him short of the touchdown, but he runs it in on the next play. Tannehill finds Corey Davis on the sideline. Touchdown pass to Tajae Sharpe! That's why Harris is a Pro Bowler, right there. Brees to Cook and the lead is back to 10. Safety? Refs say no.




Tannehill finds Raymond inside the 20, then he guns one to Sharpe for a touchdown! Flag's against the Saints. Thomas ties the reception record on a pass from Taysom. Raymond gets LEVELED after this catch. That's a fumble. Gardner-Johnson picks it up and returns it to the Titans' 25. Raymond's still down. The Steelers' loss means this result no longer matters to the Titans — they have to win next week in Houston. Thomas has the record — and a touchdown? Nope, knee's down. He scores anyway on the next play. (Saints 38, Titans 28)

No reason for Lamar to still be in. Ravens lock up home field and their only incentive next week... is to ruin the Steelers' season. ALL HANDS ON DECK. (Ravens 31, Browns 15)

NFL Primetime ran a split screen of both of Nayeim Hines's punt returns, in case you were wondering how this went. (Colts 38, Panthers 6)

Cowboys win the toss and defer "clearly". Of course they're gonna show the coin toss. Sick catch by JJAW, and great placement by Wentz. That ball gets intercepted if it's anywhere else. Yet another Jason Peters false start. Ward gets a first down. Wentz throws on the run to JJAW for another first down. That one's too high for Ertz. Nothing happening on the ground so far for the Eagles. Ward is short of the first down. Elliott out to kick the field goal. Aikman suspects that Pederson would be going for it on 4th and, say, 3. Kick is good. Jenkins knocks away a pass intended for Cooper. Eagles troll Pereira by changing their minds twice on how to enforce these penalties on this punt. They get a better result. Robert Davis with a catch! Two positive runs for Sanders. Good throw by Wentz and Sanders takes it to the Cowboys' 10. Touchdown Goedert! I'm not gonna say it, but this feels a little familiar.




Another three-and-out for the Cowboys.




Sanders loses three on 3rd and 1, so. Bradham's been all over Elliott so far, and he's the guy who usually owns the Eagles. Gallup makes a great catch, having to turn around. That's good for 41 yards. Two plays later Prescott throws behind him. Prescott gets away from Barnett, runs left, and crashes into Maddox, who stops him short of the first down. Field goal by Forbath is good. Darby headed to the locker room. Goedert gets six on 3rd and 5 as Ertz jogs off. Someone hits Wentz's arm on third and 1. Why are they in the shotgun? Hate this play call, especially with Ertz not on the field. Incomplete. Prescott his Gallup down the sideline. Defense stands up and forces another punt. Eagles start at their own 11. They get Heath for a late hit on Sanders. Third down pass sails out of bounds. Elliott runs for 10. Cooper drops a ball that may not have gotten them a first down anyway. Not a great punt for the Cowboys. Ertz, who has a rib injury, is back in the huddle. Buck not sure if Ertz or Goedert caught that pass. (It was Goedert.) He catches the next one, too. The third one's a tight end screen, but an illegal block will bring it back. Goedert's caught every pass on this drive. They go to him again but the throw isn't great. Maybe a miscommunication? Elliott misses right from 53.




Prescott to Gallup for a first down. And again, but they haven't gotten out of bounds at all and have used their time outs with 11 seconds left. Witten gets out of bounds with six seconds left. Field goal is good. 10-6 Eagles at the half, and the Cowboys haven't won this season when trailing at halftime. Mills down for the Eagles. Elliott with a first-down catch. Then Gallup. Now Cox is down. Mills being carted off, but Cox returns. Cowboys toss it to Pollard, but he can't get there. Eagles saying there was a fumble. Pederson, after much prompting, challenges. Call REVERSED! Eagles ball and that's a massive break. Wentz hit as he throws on third down and the Eagles have to punt. Scott getting a lot of run on this drive. Big play to Ward! Touchdown Sanders! 17-6.




They did! Cowboys are gagging here. Sanders takes a short pass 24 yards. Ertz can only get 10 on 3rd and 15. Elliott misses from 55. Mills back in. Cowboys go for it on 4th and 9... and Dak finds Cobb for 17. Crushing. Maddox with the pass breakup! That'll force a field goal, which Forbath hits. 17-9. Now Goedert's hurt? Wentz fumbles but falls on it. Eagles have to punt. Prescott to Cobb twice. Gallup drops what would have been a big play. That's six drops for the Cowboys, who actually lead the league.




Cobb gets another first down. This Cowboys' offense looks like the Eagles'. This game got to the two-minute warning fast.




Curry with a sack! Third down pass falls short of everything. Dak goes to the end zone on fourth down, but Jones breaks it up!




The Cowboys should be winning those battles but they haven't won as many as they should. Booth is reviewing for DPI, but Pereira says he doesn't see it here. If anything, Gallup's got Jones's arm hooked. Call stands. (No Zeke AND no Cooper on the field there.)




Wentz floats it to Goedert, who makes a leaping catch for a first down, but gets knocked out of bounds. Sanders breaks through for a game-ending first down! Then he slides at the Cowboys' 30. It's a Festivus MIRACLE! Remember 44-6? This wasn't that. But as far as the Cowboys looking unprepared and uninspired when the stakes are the highest? It was a lot like that. (Eagles 17, Cowboys 9)

What the hell, Seahawks? And now Carson AND Duane Brown are gone for the season. That SUCKED. (Cardinals 27, Seahawks 13)

And now, a game that NBC, frankly, is stuck with.




Mathieu begging to be credited with an interception here, but he was out of bounds. Trubisky decides to run right into Sorenson.




Terrell Suggs sighting. Chiefs got their backup tight end out here catching passes. Mahomes goes down. Hill gets 20 on 3rd and 18. Bad challenge, Bears. Remember: Mahomes can run too. We now have the full flexed schedule for next week: SNF is 49ers-Seahawks, as expected. The NFC East and AFC No. 2 Wildcard-adjacent games have all been moved to the late window. (Somehow the Raiders are still mathematically alive here.) Mahomes gets roughed. Butker hits from 56! 10-0 Chiefs. Miller back to return this kickoff instead of Patterson, who went off briefly earlier to change his socks. Imagine if Allen Robinson had good quarterbacks. (As evidenced by this graphic comparing Mahomes' first 30 games with the entirety of Bears quarterbacking.) MEANWHILE:




Mahomes eludes the rush and throws complete to Hill, who was coming back to the ball. Some flags on this Spencer Ware run will bring it back. 2ND AND 28. Watch them get it. Damian Williams gets 12 after a Mahomes checkdown. They get 12 more. THE BEARS RAN INTO THE PUNTER. That's five yards and a first down. Does that count? It's already the two-minute warning. Touchdown Kelce. 17-0 Chiefs at  halftime. Montgomery with a nice counter run after Collinsworth discusses how he hasn't been what they've hoped as a rookie. The running game has also suffered. Graphic shows Cohen's averages are half of what they were last year. Patterson with a strong run. Trubisky wants a face mask call but doesn't get it. Incomplete on fourth and goal. Your occasional reminder that Reid's coaching tree kicks Belichick's tree's ass. This is the best the Chiefs' defense has played all season. Bears kick a field goal to end the third quarter, and they barely got it off. Chiefs getting the bounces. Bears have been terrible on third downs tonight. Mahomes to Williams for a touchdown. Butker double-doinks! Same end zone, too. Collinsworth: "I want to see a triple doink." Bears check down on 4th and 23. Sure. Playoff scenario talk. The top three spots in the NFC are still up for grabs. This has been a fast game. (Chiefs 26, Bears 3)

What's interesting about the scheduling for next week is that if the Vikings win tonight, the NFC North will be decided in the early window on Sunday. Hunter forces a fumble on the third play of the game and Eric Kendricks recovers! He returns it to the... 5? Wow. Vikings down to Mike Boone at running back, who only scored two touchdowns last week. Cousins overthrows his fullback and the Packers are gonna get out of this only down three. Rodgers is only .500 (43-43) on the road. Why is the water in this animation purple? Rodgers guns one to Adams across midfield. Harrison Smith with a great open-field tackle on Jones for a loss. That's a good punt. Thielen falls down on his back, then drops the ball on the way down. He wants a flag, but he won't get one, nor should he. Packers back at midfield. Both teams overthrowing fullbacks now. Field goal is good and we're tied. Harris picks off Rodgers to start the second quarter. Cousins with a perfect throw to Diggs in the corner of the end zone.




Adams catches a wide receiver screen on 3rd and 1. Uncharacteristic bad decision from Rodgers to throw into a LOT of coverage in the end zone. He's lucky that wasn't picked off. Field goal is good. They're calling this a fumble by Adams. It is. Vikings ball. Double reverse — WIDE RECEIVER PASS! Too far for Cousins. That dive was hilarious.







And they're gong for it on 4th and 4. Cousins badly overthrows Thielen. Looks like Kendricks hurt himself recovering that second fumble. Zadarius Smith appears to be protesting his Pro Bowl snub. (Both he and Preston have cases.) Tramon Williams jumps in front of Treadwell and almost gets the interception. He actually had it but Treadwell knocked it out of his hands. Jimmy Graham lives. Booger thinks he was still inbounds when he fumbled. He might be right. This is just a field position check, really, as the Packers got it back. Packers call time out. Screen to Jamal Williams gets 11. Adams got more out of that than he should've before getting out of bounds. Adams drops the ball in the end zone. Field goal is good. 10-9 Vikings at halftime. This game hasn't been good. They're running MNF highlights coming back from commercials, and they just ran the black cat during Cowboys-Giants with Tessitore saying (paraphrasing) "If things go bad for the Cowboys, maybe you can trace it back to this." First Allen Lazard sighting tonight. This game hasn't been good. Cousins finds Diggs open over the middle, and he takes a shot afterwards. Deep ball gets... intercepted! King with a great one-handed pick that I was sure he was going to drop.




Is Jones hurt? It's been all Williams since halfway through the second. There he is! Touchdown Packers. Two-point try is good. Vikings bail out early on the hard count on 4th and 1 and decide to punt. They've made some terrible decisions on offense tonight. Cousins sacked by Kenny Clark. Rodgers completes one to Adams, who was well covered by Rhodes. Jones breaks a tackle and skips down the sideline for a 56-yard game-sealer. Extra point drifts slightly right. Cousins gets sacked again. On the next play, Cousins finds Johnson for a 59-yard touchdown, but it's called back because of an offensive holding penalty. Vikings punt. Tessitore corrects himself and says that because of tiebreakers, if this holds, the Packers will actually be the 2-seed. Vikings seem to have waved the white flag.




Let's not act like the ESPN wild-card game is gonna be at any time other than 4:30 p.m. on Saturday. Vikings with... something. Illegal block renders it moot. Cousins now 0-9 on Monday night. (Packers 23, Vikings 10)

RANKINGS:
TOP 4:
1. Baltimore (13-2) — Decisions to make
2. San Francisco (12-3) — Track meet turns into slugfest
3. New Orleans (12-3) — If Kamara's scoring touchdowns again...
4. Seattle (11-4) — That's not a game you want to lose

BOTTOM 4:
29. N.Y. Giants (4-11) — I'm gonna miss that big lug
30. Washington (3-12) — Narrator: No, they were not heating up
31. Detroit (3-11-1) — Seriously, what happened?
32. Cincinnati (1-14) — So close, and yet...
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