Godspeed, Isaac Bruce. “The St. Louis Rams are now on the clock.” (49ers 28, Rams 6)
In the AFC, 64 possible playoff combinations remain, and they all start here. OMG Pat White's dead. I'd also like to know what universe that's a clean hit in. What? Oh, wow, a Dolphins player landed on Ben's outstretched arm. Oh, the shoulder's not supposed to bend like that. This can't happen again, can it? Yeah, it might not, actually. Bad throw by Thigpen. Is Ben coming back out? Yes he is. And he's throwing passes to boot for some reason? Is this wise? That first-down run by Parker was a killer. crosses off Dolphins Yeah, that's a hold, Hines. One domino down, about 29 to go. (Steelers 30, Dolphins 24)
Are... are the Browns trying to save Eric Mangini's job? (Browns 23, Jaguars 17)
Ah, jeez. Welker's done and he knows it. Nice pass coverage on the first Texans touchdown. Okay, Bill, so why did you put Brady back into the game? You want to explain that one? Bernard Pollard lives! If you can tell me which of the other playoff teams the Patriots can stop, I'd love to know. I mean, this kid off the street for the Texans has three touchdowns now. And now Hoyer's back in when they're trailing? I think Belichick's legitimately losing it. Congrats on the winning season, Texans. Your next order of business should be to end Kris Brown's employment, because he may have cost you a playoff spot. (Texans 34, Patriots 27)
If you're a Giants fan, you should be very angry right now because your team has completely given up. (Vikings 44, Giants 7)
Are you seeing these highlights? Last year with the wind and now this? I feel like this was a winnable game for the Colts if Curtis Painter was even slightly better than putrid. (Bills 30, Colts 7)
Congrats to the Falcons! Back-to-back winning seasons for the first time ever. (Falcons 20, Buccaneers 10)
Hey, a Billy Volek sighting! Actual ESPN.com comment: “Jim Zorn will be fired so fast, Mike Shanahan will be the one shaking Norv Turner's hand when the game is over.” (Chargers 23, Redskins 20)
Seriously, if you let the Chiefs drop 44 on you in your house, you NEED to lose. I feel like we've seen this before. crosses off Broncos (Chiefs 44, Broncos 24)
Think Nantz and Simms thought they'd be here on Week 17? This game was blacked out in the Bay Area. Willis McGahee lives! Ska: “Down by eight with three minutes left, and you PUNT? Worthless.” To be fair, JaMarcus Russell is their quarterback. crosses off Steelers (Ravens 21, Raiders 13)
That screen's right out of the Eagles' playbook. That wasn't a good throw by McNabb and yet it still went right through Maclin's hands. Bad snap! You figured that would happen with a new center. Donovan didn't get it back? Crap. I thought he fell on it. The Eagles are squandering the opportunities the Cowboys weren't even getting a year ago. Getting a stop would help, as would cutting out the penalties. Aikman pointing out that the Eagles are blitzing less than usual makes me wonder: If that means they're sitting back in more coverage, who are they actually covering? Me, Week 1: “...I'm terrified by all the turnover and problems on defense.” Boy is that coming to fruition right now. Credit where it's due, though – everything the Cowboys are doing is working. When did Anthony Spencer stop sucking? The big screen going out would have felt more appropriate had the score been reversed. All I can think about right now is that the Eagles wouldn't be in this mess if they'd beaten the freaking Raiders. Again, I blame Antonio Pierce. They can't play this badly next week, right? As for the Cowboys, things might actually be different this time. And God help us all if they are. (Cowboys 24, Eagles 0)
Will the last person to leave please dig up Jimmy Hoffa? Thank you. (Jets 37, Bengals 0)
RANKINGS
TOP 4
1. San Diego (13-3) – When did Norv finally learn how to coach?
2. Indianapolis (14-2) – Getting healthy
3. Dallas (11-5) – Suddenly scary... at least until the playoffs actually start
4. New Orleans (13-3) – That certainly didn't help matters
(tie) Philadelphia (11-5) – Oh, that hurt
(tie) Minnesota (12-4) – Effectively got two weeks off
BOTTOM 4
29. Tampa Bay (3-13) – That's about right
30. Kansas City (4-12) – Made right choice with Jamaal Charles
31. Detroit (2-14) – At least they don't need a quarterback
32. St. Louis (1-15) – So many holes, so little time
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