This is another public service announcement.
If you're a disgruntled employee, and if you're thinking of, let's say, creative ways to express your displeasure, and one of the things that crosses your mind is, oh, how do I put this delicately... soiling the bathrooms at your place of employment...
...don't bother.
It's been done.
(We have independent confirmation from well-placed sources that this is legitimate. Besides, I'm not good enough to make this one up.)
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
The Top 15 Of 2007
Guess what's back?
You know the rules by now: the list goes back from December through the previous December. In a change from recent years, the bottom of this list is the one that got the most shuffling, as the top three or four slotted in nicely when all the polls reported.
MAYBE NEXT YEAR. WAIT, NO:
Jay-Z - "Lost One"
Fall Out Boy - "The Takeover, The Break's Over"
R. Kelly & Usher - "Same Girl" (Am I the only one who's stunned that R. Kelly still has a career?)
Beck - "Timebomb"
Paramore - "Misery Business"
Wilco - "What Light"
Nine Inch Nails - "Capital G"
WORST SONG OF NOT ONLY THIS YEAR, BUT RECENT MEMORY:
MIMS - "This Is Why I'm Hot" If music is your savior, you're a fucking heretic.
HIT IT:
15. Feist - "1 2 3 4"
This year's iPod Song of the Year.
14. Reverend and the Makers - "Heavyweight Champion of the World"
Jon McClure says what's on his mind and he's not afraid to tell you that, which has got a section of the English music press going "WTF mate" at his apparent ego and/or sanity. He's also brutally honest, as you can hear in this song that's about something only the absolute best of us have never experienced.
13. DJ Khaled (feat. A-Kon, T.I., Rick Ross, Fat Joe, Birdman & Lil' Wayne) - "We Takin' Over"
This seems like too many guys in the same spot for it to work, but the frenzy in the background actually ties everything together. My question is, what are they actually talking about? Are they backing rebel forces in Central America? I feel like the whole video should be convoys of 18-wheelers pulling into port cities.
12. The Hold Steady - "Stuck Between Stations"
This could have been a modest hit for Elvis Costello in another time.
11. Kanye West (feat. T-Pain) - "The Good Life"
Another variation on a theme by Mr. West. I think Butch's T-Pain/Nate Dogg comparison might be accurate, as he kills his hook here, but I've got no use for his solo stuff (Seriously. The coat check girl. You heard it here first.)
10. The White Stripes - "Icky Thump"
I'll let Rolling Stone take this one: "Wondering why there were so few great guitar riffs this year? Turns out Jack White used 'em all up in this song."
9. Spoon - "The Underdog"
And this is this year's "song that would have been much higher had it gotten any airplay whatsoever." Though I'm told it shows up in Cloverfield, so I guess that's something. Bonus points for the mariachis in the video.
8. Finger Eleven - "Paralyzer"
I fear history will remember this as their sellout song, and that's a shame because it's actually pretty funny and an unusual step for a group that doesn't usually do stuff like this.
7. Incubus - "Anna Molly"
See, I like it when the boys get tricky. But unlike "Nice To Know You" where the band takes some complex signatures and makes them sound easy while letting you know that it doesn't quite sound ... right, here it's Brandon Boyd wrapping his voice around the title and giving you something you're not expecting.
6. Red Hot Chili Peppers - "Hump de Bump"
As close to a return to their early funk-heavy days as we're going to get.
5. Fall Out Boy - "This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race"
I'm hard-pressed to find a band that makes something sound like nothing and yet manages to keep its sense of humor about the whole thing like these guys. There's better lyrics and better musicianship out there (both even in their own catalog), but no song was as much fun to listen to as this one.
4. Amy Winehouse - "Rehab"
Forget for a moment the incredibly ironic title. Or that you could arguably trace the "How is that voice coming out of that girl?" question back to Fiona Apple's debut ("Criminal" still holds up, by the way.) Listen to the band. The band absolutely nails this. You could sneak this song onto any record during Motown's peak and it'd fit right in.
3. Kanye West - "Stronger"
Daft Punk! Seriously, who figured Kanye would turn to French house masters to try to do something "fresh and new"? That says a lot about a lot of things. The verses don't really go with the chorus, so it's almost like this is two separate songs, but I'm being nitty.
2. The Game (feat. Kanye West) - "Wouldn't Get Far"
You wouldn't think that the same nine girls that appear in every rap video would become a target worthy of the assault Game unleashes here. But then you come to find out that it's partially because they're the same nine girls that appear in every rap video. I don't know if it's true or not, and I don't really care.
1. Nas - "Hip-Hop Is Dead"
Well, I don't know about dead, but there's no disputing that it's seen much better days. In retrospect, "The Takeover" may have been the best thing that ever happened to Nas - his response to that ("Ether") showed he still had it, and this indictment of what hip-hop has become is some of his best stuff in a long time.
----------------
Now playing: Donny Hathaway - The Ghetto
via FoxyTunes
You know the rules by now: the list goes back from December through the previous December. In a change from recent years, the bottom of this list is the one that got the most shuffling, as the top three or four slotted in nicely when all the polls reported.
MAYBE NEXT YEAR. WAIT, NO:
Jay-Z - "Lost One"
Fall Out Boy - "The Takeover, The Break's Over"
R. Kelly & Usher - "Same Girl" (Am I the only one who's stunned that R. Kelly still has a career?)
Beck - "Timebomb"
Paramore - "Misery Business"
Wilco - "What Light"
Nine Inch Nails - "Capital G"
WORST SONG OF NOT ONLY THIS YEAR, BUT RECENT MEMORY:
MIMS - "This Is Why I'm Hot" If music is your savior, you're a fucking heretic.
HIT IT:
15. Feist - "1 2 3 4"
This year's iPod Song of the Year.
14. Reverend and the Makers - "Heavyweight Champion of the World"
Jon McClure says what's on his mind and he's not afraid to tell you that, which has got a section of the English music press going "WTF mate" at his apparent ego and/or sanity. He's also brutally honest, as you can hear in this song that's about something only the absolute best of us have never experienced.
13. DJ Khaled (feat. A-Kon, T.I., Rick Ross, Fat Joe, Birdman & Lil' Wayne) - "We Takin' Over"
This seems like too many guys in the same spot for it to work, but the frenzy in the background actually ties everything together. My question is, what are they actually talking about? Are they backing rebel forces in Central America? I feel like the whole video should be convoys of 18-wheelers pulling into port cities.
12. The Hold Steady - "Stuck Between Stations"
This could have been a modest hit for Elvis Costello in another time.
11. Kanye West (feat. T-Pain) - "The Good Life"
Another variation on a theme by Mr. West. I think Butch's T-Pain/Nate Dogg comparison might be accurate, as he kills his hook here, but I've got no use for his solo stuff (Seriously. The coat check girl. You heard it here first.)
10. The White Stripes - "Icky Thump"
I'll let Rolling Stone take this one: "Wondering why there were so few great guitar riffs this year? Turns out Jack White used 'em all up in this song."
9. Spoon - "The Underdog"
And this is this year's "song that would have been much higher had it gotten any airplay whatsoever." Though I'm told it shows up in Cloverfield, so I guess that's something. Bonus points for the mariachis in the video.
8. Finger Eleven - "Paralyzer"
I fear history will remember this as their sellout song, and that's a shame because it's actually pretty funny and an unusual step for a group that doesn't usually do stuff like this.
7. Incubus - "Anna Molly"
See, I like it when the boys get tricky. But unlike "Nice To Know You" where the band takes some complex signatures and makes them sound easy while letting you know that it doesn't quite sound ... right, here it's Brandon Boyd wrapping his voice around the title and giving you something you're not expecting.
6. Red Hot Chili Peppers - "Hump de Bump"
As close to a return to their early funk-heavy days as we're going to get.
5. Fall Out Boy - "This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race"
I'm hard-pressed to find a band that makes something sound like nothing and yet manages to keep its sense of humor about the whole thing like these guys. There's better lyrics and better musicianship out there (both even in their own catalog), but no song was as much fun to listen to as this one.
4. Amy Winehouse - "Rehab"
Forget for a moment the incredibly ironic title. Or that you could arguably trace the "How is that voice coming out of that girl?" question back to Fiona Apple's debut ("Criminal" still holds up, by the way.) Listen to the band. The band absolutely nails this. You could sneak this song onto any record during Motown's peak and it'd fit right in.
3. Kanye West - "Stronger"
Daft Punk! Seriously, who figured Kanye would turn to French house masters to try to do something "fresh and new"? That says a lot about a lot of things. The verses don't really go with the chorus, so it's almost like this is two separate songs, but I'm being nitty.
2. The Game (feat. Kanye West) - "Wouldn't Get Far"
You wouldn't think that the same nine girls that appear in every rap video would become a target worthy of the assault Game unleashes here. But then you come to find out that it's partially because they're the same nine girls that appear in every rap video. I don't know if it's true or not, and I don't really care.
1. Nas - "Hip-Hop Is Dead"
Well, I don't know about dead, but there's no disputing that it's seen much better days. In retrospect, "The Takeover" may have been the best thing that ever happened to Nas - his response to that ("Ether") showed he still had it, and this indictment of what hip-hop has become is some of his best stuff in a long time.
----------------
Now playing: Donny Hathaway - The Ghetto
via FoxyTunes
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Force the Hand, Spin the Wheel
Rewind to three weeks ago...
When I listed my Ambitions for 2008, I put "new wheels" down because I was already in the process of replacing my 10-year-old and increasingly beat-up Cavalier.
In the meantime, three Thursdays ago I headed to Voorhees to attend a job fair. This, by itself, ended up being a colossal waste of time. It may have been the smallest job fair ever, with exactly seven companies represented, all of which were looking for people to fill sales positions. If there's one thing I absolutely cannot do, it's convince people to buy anything. I couldn't proverbially sell refrigerators to Eskimos (who actually use them to keep food from freezing.)
So after that farce, I headed home. By now it was freezing cold and raining quite hard, with the roads getting wet and the rain starting to turn into snow. I was going to make a stop to get some random incidentals. I made a left turn to go into the strip mall's parking lot.
I never made it.
"Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast!"
Five seconds later, I've got an airbag in my face and a curb literally up in my car's grill. The smoke that accompanies the airbag's deployment is one of the worst smells in the world, by the way. You're never prepared when something like that happens. You can't react afterwards; you just have to collect yourself. So I called 911 and a tow truck (getting disconnected from the 911 call before it ended), got out, and assessed the damage, thinking to myself the whole time, "This could be it for this car."
I got towed to a nearby body shop with the same thought running through my head. By this time, the rain's completely changed over to snow and I'm hearing reports of little accidents all over the area on the radio. When we got there, I called the insurance company, which always leads to a bit of confusion since I have to give them my name for everything. The reason for that is that I bought that car when I was still working part-time in Trenton, and my parents put it on their insurance policy to save everyone some money because it's common knowledge that males under 25 get hosed on car insurance rates.
This was a curious sight in the office:
So Enterprise picked me up and we headed over there to get a rental car, as mine was undriveable due to the airbags launching. Their office had an Easy button, too. Turns out you can actually buy them, and it says "That was easy!" when you press it. Neither of them worked, though.
I ended up renting a Taurus and immediately ended up regretting it. It's a big car that feels and drives like a big car, and I've never been comfortable driving large vehicles. Additionally, driving down the Atlantic City Expressway in rush-hour traffic during a snowstorm may be the worst possible circumstances to drive an unfamiliar car under. But I got home in one piece.
I called Mom to tell her what happened (again, insurance) and she had the same thought I did - that this might be the end for my car. The insurance company covered most of the rental cost. Now I had to find a new car.
It's been 10 years since I'd had to do this, and the very medium you're using to read this account right now was basically how I did all my research. Seriously, folks, there's no real reason to visit a dealership until you're ready to take a test drive. Hell, most every dealer these days has not only a Web site, but either a guy or an entire department devoted to handing online inquiries.
But what to buy? Well, non-ballas like myself drive automatics and prize durability, efficiency, and functionality over something that's obviously overcompensating for a personal deficiency of some kind. This does not mean that it can look like Legos on wheels, though.
One thing I started doing that I'd never really done before was pay attention to what kinds of cars I'm surrounded by regularly in my parking lots here and at the office. I have a surprisingly large number of Nissan-driving neighbors. Chevrolet doesn't make the Cavalier anymore; the new equivalent is something called the "Cobalt" which may or may not be strictly a manual. I'd considered the Camry, Saturn, Malibu and Sonata, but none of them made the final cut.
I didn't want to get an Accord at first because "everyone has an Accord." Well, you know what, genius? There's a reason for that. It came down to this and the Jetta, and while there wasn't really anything wrong with the Jetta, when I test-drove the Accord, it felt right. I don't just mean that while it's bigger than my old car, it felt like a smaller car and not like I was towing something like the rented Taurus. It just felt right.
You know what I'm talking about.
Anyway, I had planned on picking it up on Friday, but the salesman I had originally dealt with wasn't there, throwing me out of my comfort zone. So I ended up going in Saturday morning (I haven't mentioned all the sleep I've not gotten over the last month because of this) and we were able to take care of the insurance stuff over the phone (the benefits of being with the same company for over 25 years).
So that's that. Life's somewhat back to normal, I've got a new car that I like, and one of my yearly ambitions has been met for the first time in a long time. We now return you to your regularly scheduled post-Super Bowl content.
----------------
Now playing: Coldplay - Trouble
via FoxyTunes
When I listed my Ambitions for 2008, I put "new wheels" down because I was already in the process of replacing my 10-year-old and increasingly beat-up Cavalier.
In the meantime, three Thursdays ago I headed to Voorhees to attend a job fair. This, by itself, ended up being a colossal waste of time. It may have been the smallest job fair ever, with exactly seven companies represented, all of which were looking for people to fill sales positions. If there's one thing I absolutely cannot do, it's convince people to buy anything. I couldn't proverbially sell refrigerators to Eskimos (who actually use them to keep food from freezing.)
So after that farce, I headed home. By now it was freezing cold and raining quite hard, with the roads getting wet and the rain starting to turn into snow. I was going to make a stop to get some random incidentals. I made a left turn to go into the strip mall's parking lot.
I never made it.
"Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast!"Five seconds later, I've got an airbag in my face and a curb literally up in my car's grill. The smoke that accompanies the airbag's deployment is one of the worst smells in the world, by the way. You're never prepared when something like that happens. You can't react afterwards; you just have to collect yourself. So I called 911 and a tow truck (getting disconnected from the 911 call before it ended), got out, and assessed the damage, thinking to myself the whole time, "This could be it for this car."
I got towed to a nearby body shop with the same thought running through my head. By this time, the rain's completely changed over to snow and I'm hearing reports of little accidents all over the area on the radio. When we got there, I called the insurance company, which always leads to a bit of confusion since I have to give them my name for everything. The reason for that is that I bought that car when I was still working part-time in Trenton, and my parents put it on their insurance policy to save everyone some money because it's common knowledge that males under 25 get hosed on car insurance rates.
This was a curious sight in the office:
So Enterprise picked me up and we headed over there to get a rental car, as mine was undriveable due to the airbags launching. Their office had an Easy button, too. Turns out you can actually buy them, and it says "That was easy!" when you press it. Neither of them worked, though.
I ended up renting a Taurus and immediately ended up regretting it. It's a big car that feels and drives like a big car, and I've never been comfortable driving large vehicles. Additionally, driving down the Atlantic City Expressway in rush-hour traffic during a snowstorm may be the worst possible circumstances to drive an unfamiliar car under. But I got home in one piece.
I called Mom to tell her what happened (again, insurance) and she had the same thought I did - that this might be the end for my car. The insurance company covered most of the rental cost. Now I had to find a new car.
It's been 10 years since I'd had to do this, and the very medium you're using to read this account right now was basically how I did all my research. Seriously, folks, there's no real reason to visit a dealership until you're ready to take a test drive. Hell, most every dealer these days has not only a Web site, but either a guy or an entire department devoted to handing online inquiries.
But what to buy? Well, non-ballas like myself drive automatics and prize durability, efficiency, and functionality over something that's obviously overcompensating for a personal deficiency of some kind. This does not mean that it can look like Legos on wheels, though.
One thing I started doing that I'd never really done before was pay attention to what kinds of cars I'm surrounded by regularly in my parking lots here and at the office. I have a surprisingly large number of Nissan-driving neighbors. Chevrolet doesn't make the Cavalier anymore; the new equivalent is something called the "Cobalt" which may or may not be strictly a manual. I'd considered the Camry, Saturn, Malibu and Sonata, but none of them made the final cut.
I didn't want to get an Accord at first because "everyone has an Accord." Well, you know what, genius? There's a reason for that. It came down to this and the Jetta, and while there wasn't really anything wrong with the Jetta, when I test-drove the Accord, it felt right. I don't just mean that while it's bigger than my old car, it felt like a smaller car and not like I was towing something like the rented Taurus. It just felt right.
You know what I'm talking about.
Anyway, I had planned on picking it up on Friday, but the salesman I had originally dealt with wasn't there, throwing me out of my comfort zone. So I ended up going in Saturday morning (I haven't mentioned all the sleep I've not gotten over the last month because of this) and we were able to take care of the insurance stuff over the phone (the benefits of being with the same company for over 25 years).
So that's that. Life's somewhat back to normal, I've got a new car that I like, and one of my yearly ambitions has been met for the first time in a long time. We now return you to your regularly scheduled post-Super Bowl content.
----------------
Now playing: Coldplay - Trouble
via FoxyTunes
Monday, February 4, 2008
By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth: Title Tilted
What do you MEAN, all the ads disappeared from the section? Are you kidding me? The Declaration of Independence? What?
"Crazy Train"? Interesting. It's now 6:19 and they're not even close to starting this game. Jordin's father's an ex-Giant but you knew that (unless you didn't). Oh, there you go. What's with that fanfare intro? I was afraid it'd throw her off. Buck: "Kickoff less than one minute away." After these commercials, of course. And for the purposes of tracking commercials, when does the game actually begin? Is it anything after kickoff? I need answers.
The Pats are failing miserably at third-down stops so far. Maroney returning kickoffs? Whoa. I wonder how Moss is gonna do tonight. That's pretty blatant to just hit the guy in the face like that. How is the first quarter over already? Yeah, this was inevitable, I guess.
He kicked off out of bounds? How does that still happen? Seriously. Look at all the time Eli has here. Nice catch. Really? Delay of game? OOPS. And that's what I was talking about - you can't make mistakes like that against this team and expect to win. I liked that Bud spot with the rejected Clydesdale in training and the Rocky music. Gotta haul that in, Steve. I wouldn't have run outside there. But that's me.
Wow. How'd the Patriots not recover that one? Is this Rihanna in this Life Water spot? I think it is but I'm not sure. (I'm told now it was Naomi Campbell.) That was kind of crazy. Why didn't Bradshaw just try to fall on it? You can't afford to risk giving up the ball again. We're at the two-minute warning? Really? The Timberlake spot's been the worst so far (but not through any fault of his own).
Both teams have looked pretty ordinary so far. And as far as the Patriots go, we were saying this during the Colts game and the Eagles game and the Ravens game and you see where I'm going with that.
THE BAND IS OUT ON THE FIELD! Yay for "I Won't Back Down." I'm not sure a slow jam like "Free Fallin'" belongs in a halftime show. This entire experience has been meh.
What's all this? I feel like I should have known you can challenge for 12 men on the field. Seems petty, though. Sick move by Faulk to fake out Johnson. Fourth and 13? Really, Bill? I'm against this, and I think Belichick kicks it if Vinatieri's still there.
Clutch grab by Welker. Hey, there's Peyton. Who had Kevin Boss and David Tyree as the big-play guys? Oh, that's right: NO ONE. I think Maroney has more yards on kickoff returns than he does rushing. (He did. 94-36.)
The pressure Brady's been under has been intense. He hasn't had time to throw deep. Of course, I say that, and things start clicking finally for the Pats. This is what they do, folks. What I'm particularly noticing about Welker is his awareness - he always seems to know where he needs to be. And now the Giants are starting to lose guys. DING. Welcome back, Randy. Speaking of Mr. Moss, his transformation into a total company man has almost been underreported.
All right, Eli. Let's see what you got. Ben's American Idol spot started off so well. Aikman: "They're gonna go for it here, and this is the right decsion." Ya THINK SO, DOCTOR? Jacobs has this. And if he doesn't, one of the Patriots jumped anyway. What's up with the clock? Holy crap! Who does Eli think he is, Vince Young? How did he get out of there, first of all, and how did Tyree not drop that on the way down? Wow. Also, Harrison should've drilled Tyree in the back instead of trying for the interception and allowing himself to get posted up. Somebody forgot about Smith. NO! Hobbs got absolutely torched. Steelers fans everywhere are throwing things right now. THE BAND IS OUT ON THE FIELD. Somewhere Brett Favre and Tony Romo are screaming, "That should have been me!" How the hell did this happen?
No, seriously. How?
The Polo Grounds? I don't know about that. Eli's the MVP? I think you gotta give it to either Strahan or Osi, right? Or even Tuck? Those guys absolutely threw down on the Patriots' offensive line. (Oh. That's how it happened.) Speaking of Strahan, I wonder if he's gonna retire. He almost did this year.
FINAL RANKINGS
TOP 3:
1 (tie). New England/N.Y. Giants - Here's the problem. The Patriots shouldn't be No. 1 because they lost the Super Bowl to an inferior team. The Giants shouldn't be No. 1 because they aren't a better team than the Patriots. Am I copping out? Probably. Got any better ideas?
3. Green Bay - I predict one more year
BOTTOM 3:
30. Kansas City (4-12) - Blow it up!
31. Atlanta (4-12) - Good luck, Mr. Smith
32. Miami (1-15) - Insert variation of "dolphin-safe tuna" here
----------------
Now playing: Run DMC - Tougher Than Leather
via FoxyTunes
"Crazy Train"? Interesting. It's now 6:19 and they're not even close to starting this game. Jordin's father's an ex-Giant but you knew that (unless you didn't). Oh, there you go. What's with that fanfare intro? I was afraid it'd throw her off. Buck: "Kickoff less than one minute away." After these commercials, of course. And for the purposes of tracking commercials, when does the game actually begin? Is it anything after kickoff? I need answers.
The Pats are failing miserably at third-down stops so far. Maroney returning kickoffs? Whoa. I wonder how Moss is gonna do tonight. That's pretty blatant to just hit the guy in the face like that. How is the first quarter over already? Yeah, this was inevitable, I guess.
He kicked off out of bounds? How does that still happen? Seriously. Look at all the time Eli has here. Nice catch. Really? Delay of game? OOPS. And that's what I was talking about - you can't make mistakes like that against this team and expect to win. I liked that Bud spot with the rejected Clydesdale in training and the Rocky music. Gotta haul that in, Steve. I wouldn't have run outside there. But that's me.
Wow. How'd the Patriots not recover that one? Is this Rihanna in this Life Water spot? I think it is but I'm not sure. (I'm told now it was Naomi Campbell.) That was kind of crazy. Why didn't Bradshaw just try to fall on it? You can't afford to risk giving up the ball again. We're at the two-minute warning? Really? The Timberlake spot's been the worst so far (but not through any fault of his own).
Both teams have looked pretty ordinary so far. And as far as the Patriots go, we were saying this during the Colts game and the Eagles game and the Ravens game and you see where I'm going with that.
THE BAND IS OUT ON THE FIELD! Yay for "I Won't Back Down." I'm not sure a slow jam like "Free Fallin'" belongs in a halftime show. This entire experience has been meh.
What's all this? I feel like I should have known you can challenge for 12 men on the field. Seems petty, though. Sick move by Faulk to fake out Johnson. Fourth and 13? Really, Bill? I'm against this, and I think Belichick kicks it if Vinatieri's still there.
Clutch grab by Welker. Hey, there's Peyton. Who had Kevin Boss and David Tyree as the big-play guys? Oh, that's right: NO ONE. I think Maroney has more yards on kickoff returns than he does rushing. (He did. 94-36.)
The pressure Brady's been under has been intense. He hasn't had time to throw deep. Of course, I say that, and things start clicking finally for the Pats. This is what they do, folks. What I'm particularly noticing about Welker is his awareness - he always seems to know where he needs to be. And now the Giants are starting to lose guys. DING. Welcome back, Randy. Speaking of Mr. Moss, his transformation into a total company man has almost been underreported.
All right, Eli. Let's see what you got. Ben's American Idol spot started off so well. Aikman: "They're gonna go for it here, and this is the right decsion." Ya THINK SO, DOCTOR? Jacobs has this. And if he doesn't, one of the Patriots jumped anyway. What's up with the clock? Holy crap! Who does Eli think he is, Vince Young? How did he get out of there, first of all, and how did Tyree not drop that on the way down? Wow. Also, Harrison should've drilled Tyree in the back instead of trying for the interception and allowing himself to get posted up. Somebody forgot about Smith. NO! Hobbs got absolutely torched. Steelers fans everywhere are throwing things right now. THE BAND IS OUT ON THE FIELD. Somewhere Brett Favre and Tony Romo are screaming, "That should have been me!" How the hell did this happen?
No, seriously. How?
The Polo Grounds? I don't know about that. Eli's the MVP? I think you gotta give it to either Strahan or Osi, right? Or even Tuck? Those guys absolutely threw down on the Patriots' offensive line. (Oh. That's how it happened.) Speaking of Strahan, I wonder if he's gonna retire. He almost did this year.
FINAL RANKINGS
TOP 3:
1 (tie). New England/N.Y. Giants - Here's the problem. The Patriots shouldn't be No. 1 because they lost the Super Bowl to an inferior team. The Giants shouldn't be No. 1 because they aren't a better team than the Patriots. Am I copping out? Probably. Got any better ideas?
3. Green Bay - I predict one more year
BOTTOM 3:
30. Kansas City (4-12) - Blow it up!
31. Atlanta (4-12) - Good luck, Mr. Smith
32. Miami (1-15) - Insert variation of "dolphin-safe tuna" here
----------------
Now playing: Run DMC - Tougher Than Leather
via FoxyTunes
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