Tuesday, September 27, 2005

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 3: Off The Wall

View Finder: OAK @ PHI, DAL @ SF (partial), NE @ PIT (end)

Oh... oh, that's not good. We dressed the other kicker, right? No? What? The Raiders should really just add yellow to their uniforms to match the oceans of flags they draw. It doesn't make any sense whatsoever. It's not like it's this coach because it's been happening for years. It defies logic. Westbrook is just cutting through these guys like a knife. Shouldn't they just start going for two every time? And just when I think to myself how shaky Janikowski is, he misses another easy one. That's all Moss has done all day, really. I have a bad feeling about this. They pretty much have to get to, like, the one-yard line, right? IT'S GOOD!! "I felt like I got shot."

Didn't Carson and Chad do this last week? And how about the move he put on Vasher? I don't think I've ever seen anyone faked in half before. Though his celebrations were substandard; I mean, Riverdancing? And those were some weak-ass push-ups. Welcome to the big leagues, Kyle. 6-0 is extremely possible right now. You heard me.

Down goes Pennington! Down goes Leftwich! Down goes Fiedler... and here comes Pennington again? Oh, this is ugly. Touchdo... no? Oh, they got it right, he was juggling it. I think Smith was out of bounds on the overtime score but it wouldn't have mattered at that point.

This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close: Titans-Rams.

I don't know if the Bucs are actually this good, but like I said late last year, they've still got some players and it's not like Gruden forgot how to coach. Someone on ESPN (I don't remember who) made a point that no one else has: Where the hell is Ahman Green?

Who told you the Cardinals would be lucky to win seven games? I know, I know... I gave them too much credit.

This'll be fun. Why is it that the Colts always go to New England and the Patriots always come here? I call shenanigans. OK, the Patriots never get beaten deep like that. Something's amiss. They're dropping like flies. I love/hate how CBS only shows one highlight each from the Fox games. Wow. So much for the Steelers' new running game. Hey, a Corey Dillon sighting! There's a reason Chad Scott was available. 1:12? That's entirely too much time. See?

That might be Bledsoe's longest run ever. That can't be good for team morale. What I heard sparked that was that Cortez was complaining about the snap being bad and Allen got in his face. You know who's good is Tony Parrish. Didn't we see this last week? And didn't we also see this two weeks ago? Oh, fuck the Cowboys. This should never have happened. I know the Niners aren't any good, but you can't blow it like that.

They're actually booing Eli. I'm impressed. It seems wrong to have that good a drive and only get three out of it. Hey, this No. 21? We oughta try putting the ball in his hands. And now this game's getting out of hand... the Giants can't stop him. I must say Eli's showing me a lot by leading them back here. He's gonna be good, I think. LDT's gonna throw! OH! Oh. That may have just sealed it for the Bolts the way it went down. Now it's getting out of hand again. Can I take back what I said about the Giants' defense last week?

I don't know, Rock. What exactly should I be smelling? Have the Broncos run the ball yet? Ah, there we go. This "let's bring in the entire Browns defensive line from last year, including the coach" shouldn't be working as well as it is. It shouldn't be working at all. Priest and Larry have been absolutely stifled. Rod Smith wasn't drafted? I feel like I should have known that. Maybe I did and just forgot. Wow, how about that new Chiefs defense.

FANTASY REPORT: Wanna know what it's like to be on both sides of a one-man show?
aPa SmackDown (1-2, L2): The Colts receivers' drought continues. And with LDT on Weeba's side and Pennington going down, you can guess the result from there. I now need a quarterback in the worst way and I need one now. On the other hand, I ridiculed the entire league for letting me grab Vanderjagt two rounds after I took Akers. Now I couldn't be happier that happened.
JackSux (3-0, W3): Chris had a big lead before Sunday night when I had LDT and two other guys. Tomlinson racked up 33.85 to put us over the top, accounting for one-third of my points. I do need a new backup for Green, but this situation isn't nearly as dire.

And now, the debut of...

RANKINGS
TOP 3:

1. Indianapolis - Though you would have expected the offense to house the Browns
2. New England - It doesn't get any easier
3. Cincinnati - So not a typo

BOTTOM 3:
30. Houston - Regressing badly
31. Green Bay - If this isn't the end, you can sure see it from here
32. Arizona - Revising that prediction down to four

No comments: