SmackDown! 6/23/2005: For and Against

FOR: Orton's promo. Good job of (re-)establishing his character for the Smackdown audience.

FOR: The loop of the Tombstone at WrestleMania 21.

FOR: Taker's old tricks.

FOR: Rey's interview.

FOR: Melina in yellow.

AGAINST: The boys' fur coats. It's summer in Arizona.

AGAINST: Heidenreich matches.

AGAINST: Michelle's completely unnecessary implants.

FOR: The increased TV time she's getting because of them.

FOR: These homemade wings. Yummy.

AGAINST: "Michelle McLoser?" Melina? You're better than this.[/Kilborn]

AGAINST: The "SmackDown Championship"? What, two "world" titles aren't enough?

FOR: JBL's inflated ego assuming he's the beneficiary.

FOR: London/Chavo! Again!

AGAINST: "Mexicools"? What a weak name.

FOR: The "Mexican limo."

AGAINST: I didn't recognize any of these guys and I should've. Juvy at least. I'm so ashamed.

AGAINST: Did we come back from commercial late?

AGAINST: Nothing against Booker, but shouldn't Benoit be interrupting JBL here?

FOR: Booker's line about earning the right to be a champion.

FOR: Ah, there's Chris.

FOR: Ah, it's gonna be one of those segments.

FOR: Everyone snatching the mic from JBL.

FOR: A match!

AGAINST: Five men? I smell something obvious here.

AGAINST: Hassan?! That's the best they can do at this point?

FOR: Cole putting this over as the most despised draft pick in history. (Though, for completists' sake, he should have added "not made by the New York Jets.")

FOR: Daivari's mic work.

AGAINST: Yeah, Muhammad, that winning streak that ended Monday night when Cena kicked your ass.

FOR: And that, friends, is how you insult JBL and still get booed.

AGAINST: Seriously, with Carlito being drafted over to Raw to essentially take Hassan's spot, and then Hassan getting jobbed out (to say nothing of Shelton getting undercut), did they decide to do this on Monday afternoon or something? They could have done all of this next week.

FOR: Continuing the trend of making the draft picks look like big deals by putting Hassan in the title match.

FOR: Long seizing the moment and booking Hassan vs. Show for... next?

AGAINST: Matt Morgan's headed for the announce table.

AGAINST: "The Verbal Assassin." Indeed.

FOR: The extended Rey/Eddie video package.

FOR: Eddie's interview.

FOR: I have no idea who's going to win tonight.

FOR: It's not even 9:30 yet. They're gonna get a ton of time.

FOR: Rey using the launch station for the first time in weeks.

FOR: Tazz noticing the bruise on Eddie's midsection and positing that Eddie didn't wrap it so as not to draw even more attention to it.

FOR: The wrestling at the start. This match is about a lot of things, but it's mostly about who's better.

FOR: Rey targeting Eddie's midsection and the camera work on the bruise.

AGAINST: Eddie just sitting Rey on the top turnbuckle.

FOR: Eddie PUNKING Rey after the clean break.

FOR: Tazz's(?) outrage. "Clean break, my ass!"

FOR: Cole and Tazz are particularly good when they have a good match like this and a storyline for them to sink their teeth into.

FOR: The Gory Special~~~~~~~

FOR: The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.

FOR: This match.

FOR: Eddie's moving and shifting to hide the choke out of the full Nelson.

AGAINST: Eddie's taunting. That's gotta come back to burn him at some point, right?

FOR: The first of what are sure to be many textbook Mysterio rallies.

FOR: This match.

FOR: Nice springboard crossbody by Rey.

FOR: Eddie slowing Rey down by working over his back. And at the same time, you don't see Rey going after Eddie's midsection any more because he knows he's behind and just needs to get momentum any way he can.

FOR: The spot where Eddie knocked Rey down on the turnbuckle and then slumped in the corner. The way Rey was hanging up there before sliding down his back, I thought Eddie was going to hook him for a Gory Bomb.

FOR: This match, by God.

FOR: The trademark trading sequence. Puts over their familiarity with each other.

AGAINST: There wasn't nearly enough of that in the match for my taste.

FOR: Rey going for the cover off of the missed frog splash. It won't work, but it's smart.

FOR: The crowd's loving this.

FOR: Rey wins! GREAT match.

FOR: And yet, I'm still not sure if this is the blowoff or not... Cole didn't sound as committed to it as he was when Booker/Angle ended.

SmackDown! 6/16/2005: For and Against

FOR: Johnny B calling the Angle pick.

AGAINST: The image of JBL at a spa.

FOR: Acknowledging One Night Stand after the fact.

AGAINST: I'm wondering why Benoit hasn't called JBL out on the "Wrestling God" thing yet. There's still time, though.

FOR: The idea behind the finish.

AGAINST: The execution. Was Benoit supposed to hook his legs there?

FOR: Typical gangland attack. Simple, common, but it works.

FOR: Whoa! The Pistons are here? Don't they have a game tonight?

FOR: OH. Sup, Taker. How ya been. Wife and kid are fine, I hope.

AGAINST: The Black Ninja attack. This NEVER WORKS.

AGAINST: Nobody got chokeslammed.

FOR: Long's all, "Yeah, just so you know, that's your opponent tonight."

FOR: Eddie/London!

AGAINST: Not showing London's repeated attempts to retaliate last week.

FOR: London actually getting some offense in.

FOR: The return of the Lasso from El Paso.

AGAINST: Butch, Cubs and I are probably the only three people who remember that.

FOR: REY'S RAGE~~~~~~

AGAINST: Eddie no-selling the chairshots.

FOR: The length of this brawl.

FOR: Rey trying to close the truck door on Eddie.

AGAINST: It backfiring. There's two referees in there!

FOR: The Cabinet squabbling.

FOR: The Bashams getting fed up and quitting.

AGAINST: That came across as more abrupt than I think they wanted it to.

FOR: Carlito's dig at Hershey. Hilarious. "I see a lot of fat people..."

AGAINST: That "chocolate balls" remark. What?

FOR: Tazz correcting himself. "That came out wrong."

FOR: So the couple that kicks ass together, stays together? All right. So like the Smiths, then.

FOR: Carlito makes an interesting point. But when did Sharmell officially become part of the roster?

FOR: Booker and Sharmell throwing apples at Carlito. I like these two.

AGAINST: Carlito yelling at Morgan in Spanish. HE CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU.

FOR: Show's appropriate retribution.

FOR: There's a job I want: Smackdown Announce Table Builder.

FOR: An actual U.S. Title match.

FOR: Orlando's Face Of Concern.

AGAINST: Orlando's hair.

FOR: I'd actually be surprised if Hardcore went over here.

FOR: Hardcore's reaction to the finish.

AGAINST: Someone please get Heidenreich a damn napkin.

FOR: Women LOVE chocolate. Oh, it's true.

AGAINST: Let's never give Michelle a mic again, 'kay? Thanks.

FOR: Melina mocking her.

FOR: Melina having my babies. Yes, even more so now.

FOR: Maybe Heidenreich's search for friends takes a new direction now?

FOR: Eddie/Rey next week!

AGAINST: Next week?

AGAINST: Why hasn't the draft pick shown up yet?

FOR: Benoit repaying the favor from earlier.

FOR: JBL panicking. "Don't leave me!"

FOR: JBL not wanting to lock up with UT.

FOR: Taker's spill over the ring steps.

FOR: What the... RKO! ORTON! Forgot all about him, to be honest.

FOR: That arrogant little pose he did before bailing out of the ring.

AGAINST: There had to be a better way to set that up.

FOR: Orton going up to the launch stage to do his promo. Puts him on a literal and figurative pedestal.

WARNING: Long, Depressing And Possibly Completely Pointless Post Ahead

"The only thing worse than your insecurities getting the best of you is when they bring backup in the form of evidence."

As usual, this one's my own fault.

Mom called last night, mainly to bug me about how I never call or write. I gave her the same answer I always give her when she brings this up: I've got nothing to talk about. I am rarely one to talk for the sake of talking; if I communicate something, I'm expecting to either give or receive information, and that's usually it.

So after a few idle minutes, she asks me about work.

And for some reason, I admitted that I've recently felt like I'm in a rut.

Well, that opens the floodgates of life-examining questions. And I know she's trying to help, and that she doesn't want me to feel any worse, but when our conversation finally ended, I was in an even deeper funk than before. Turns out it's an all-encompassing rut: financial, social, personal.

It was all the questions I didn't have any answers to.

Do you still want to do editing? I don't know. Do you still want to be at the newspaper? I don't know. Do you want to do something completely different? I don't know how to do anything else.

It's partly a problem of confidence, and it always has been for me. But there's more to it than that. It's some stubborn and shortsighted choices I made -- and some that I didn't make -- that I feel like I'm paying for now.

It's the possibly outdated notion that at 30 years old, I should have this somewhat figured out, yet I might as well be five for how clueless it seems I am. Maybe part of it's a lack of self-awareness, like I'm not quite sure who I am or what I actually want to be.

It's why I never have anything to say to my mom when she calls, because nothing. Ever. Happens. For whatever reason, I've never been a "do-er." Me alone in a room full of strangers is like a tire shop at a marina -- woefully out of place and completely useless. The life in my head is infinitely more interesting than the life my body's in.

And that needs to change. I know that.

But that's about where my knowledge stops.

NP: Garbage, "Only Happy When It Rains"

Not even.

SmackDown! 6/9/2005: For and Against

AGAINST: No more Cena. (Even though I think he's eventually coming back.)

FOR: But that means Booker/Angle tonight.

FOR: Long being as unhappy as the rest of us.

AGAINST: What does JBL want?

FOR: Oh. Well, who's the pick?

FOR: BENOIT, MUTHAFUCKAS!!!

AGAINST: Chris Benoit IS Tony Massenburg. Drafted originally by Smackdown in 2002; spent time on Raw in June 2002; signed with Smackdown after winning the IC title from RVD in August 2002; jumped to Raw after winning the 2004 Rumble; drafted by Smackdown in June 2005.

FOR: Benoit basically calling JBL a quitter. Good to know he's been watching the show.

FOR: JBL backtracking.

FOR: JBL continuing his anti-ECW crusade.

AGAINST: Haas losing again.

FOR: Eddie and Benoit reminiscing.

FOR: "I've seen how you treat your friends lately."

FOR: So this IS about the fact that Eddie can't beat Rey? Cole said it last week after the montage, and Benoit saying it again seems to crystallize it.

FOR: London/Akio! On Smackdown!

AGAINST: The cell phone at the beginning of Eddie's music actually startled me. I thought it was mine.

AGAINST: Eddie interrupting this match.

FOR: Eddie interrupting this match while London and Akio keep wrestling.

FOR: The promo Eddie cut after interrupting the match.

FOR: This Angle/Tazz thing, even though it should be fairly obvious what Tazz is gonna do.

AGAINST: Sharmell's dress. You can't be out there looking like that when you've got, essentially, a stalker five feet away from you.

FOR: Tazz reasoning that Booker brought Sharmell out to the ring to keep an eye on her.

FOR: Cole referring to Booker's mood as "controlled rage."

FOR: This match.

FOR: The symbolism of Booker making the ropes in front of Sharmell.

FOR: Angle knocking himself silly off the ricochet. You'd think that would happen more often.

FOR: Booker wins! Good match.

FOR: Angle still looks a little loopy.

FOR: The entire sequence with Angle and Tazz, and Cole's commentary during it. It feels like they're building Angle as a really big heel here -- is he making a big move, perhaps?

AGAINST: Heidenreich? Has the game started yet? *click* Nope. Damn.

FOR: Uhhh... maybe we'll stick with this for a minute after all, you know what I mean? *wink, nudge*

FOR: Heyman coming out with more backup this time around.

AGAINST: Did you see Sandman's gut? What, did he eat Spike Dudley?

AGAINST: It seems odd that they wouldn't announce ANY matches for One Night Stand. I mean, I know ECW never released a full card, but it was always good about announcing a couple of matches.

AGAINST: JBL making it easy for Benoit to go for the Sharpshooter the second time.

FOR: Full-scale in-ring brouhahas. They really never get old.

FOR: Butch was right -- MAN, did they screw up the InVasion. Lessons learned, I guess.

SmackDown! 6/2/2005: For and Against

FOR: The Cabana.

FOR: Cena on the Cabana.

FOR: Cena playing the Pyramid. "Spit it out, man!"

FOR: Tazz's reaction to the "MICHAEL COLE" chant. "Well, there's a first time for everything."

AGAINST: Canadian fans booing Shawn. LET IT GO.

FOR: Booker being INSANE WITH ANGER.

FOR: Long putting Booker into the match.

FOR: The format for this match.

FOR: Haas starting off going for the quick fall.

FOR: Nitro phantom-tagging Mercury.

FOR: Haas's plancha.

AGAINST: Completely missing the second fall.

FOR: That counter by Haas. He's FROM Oklahoma! You don't think he knows how to counter that?

FOR: Holly's repeated attempts to help Haas. You don't see that that often and it underscores the importance of the match.

FOR: Mercury looking at his watch.

FOR: HOLLYCANRANA~~~~ Where did THAT come from?

FOR: Haas breaking up the Snapshot.

FOR: AWESOME video package on the Eddie/Rey feud.

FOR: Tazz pointing out that Sharmell isn't necessarily out of danger here.

FOR: Digging up that old Tazz-Angle clip.

FOR: Booker's ambush.

FOR: Angle enjoying himself too much.

AGAINST: Is she BITING him?

FOR: Sharmell's desperation.

AGAINST: A Heidenreich match.

AGAINST: That's the most entertaining Jindrak's ever been on his own.

FOR: Referencing Nunzio's ECW past.

FOR: JBL's anti-ECW rant.

AGAINST: JBL doesn't have a DVD!

FOR: Nunzio going under the ring.

FOR: They're doing a pretty good job of hyping the draft starting next week.

AGAINST: The faces coming out first.

FOR: Big Show's wrap job.

AGAINST: They're really burying Lesnar, aren't they?

FOR: "Just SOMEBODY get in the ring!"

FOR: That bit between Cena and Show in the corner. "Tag me in." "Not yet." "OK" *pulls hand back with a flourish*

FOR: The heels targeting Show's ribs.

FOR: The Michinoku Driver II becoming the F-U.

AGAINST: Nobody recognizing the change.

A Stronghold Of Purity

It should be noted, however, that Anton LaVey's biography page came out 54% good.

So do with that information what you want. Preferably NOTHING.