Showing posts with label San Francisco 49ers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label San Francisco 49ers. Show all posts

Sunday, October 26, 2014

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 7: Lower Management

Oh, Jets. Why do you make it so easy so many times? Their radio guys are... less than enthused. That was a long way to go for that. The Jets can't afford to settle for field goals tonight. As I say that, field goals end up giving them the lead. But only temporarily. Whoa, Sheldon Richardson's in the backfield. A Jets touchdown! Stop the presses! Wait, Gostkowski MADE that? I was sure that was wide left. Geno is down. That... didn't look good. So all that and he only misses one play? That's fortunate, I guess. Maybe he's a really good actor. Danny Amendola LIVES!




We've seen the Jets put together some quality drives tonight but they need a touchdown here. These receivers are highly substandard. Touchdown Jets! That... probably should have worked. I mean, it had a chance.







And what's scary about that is that his explanation almost made sense. Good job by the Jets' offensive players getting out of bounds. They have just enough time to get one more quick pass off. And that's exactly how you do that if nobody's open. Dump it as quickly as possible. 58 yards? Let's see. BLOCKED! That kick looked low. And it was.




I thought that name sounded familiar. (Patriots 27, Jets 25)

Speaking of the Jets, they finally got the alleged playmaker they so desperately needed... about six months too late:




And really, though: Percy Harvin played for Pete Carroll in a state where marijuana is legal and he still couldn't find any chill? This dude needs a shrink.

Signal Finder: CIN @ IND, CAR @ GB, SEA @ STL (2nd half), TEN @ WSH (end), NYG @ DAL

That was an... unfortunate sequence of events for the Panthers. Once Nelson made the move it was over. The Panthers can't stop anything right now. That one was just too easy. The Panthers can't get out of their own way. This'll be over quickly if they can't get sorted. JEBUS. I see why Kuechly's the Panthers' leading tackler — he's the only one who can. Finally, the Panthers are doing things. That's kind of a stupid penalty. At least they survived it. The irony there is a better throw gets intercepted. Lacy didn't even gain any more yards and the Panthers still couldn't bring him down. Then they jump offsides on 3rd down and Lacy uses the shorter distance to break one. There's nothing the Panthers can do. Touchdown to Cobb and this may be a wrap. I'm just gonna assume that "AARON SAYS RELAX" T-shirts are massive sellers in Wisconsin right now. Hey, a stop. This is the Panthers' best drive of the day and they're not even at midfield. Good catch by Benjamin to go up and get it. They need points here. That'll do, I guess. The Panthers have clearly rethought things. Newton with the sneak on 4th and 1... and they don't get it. Aaaand we're headed to St. Louis. (Packers 38, Panthers 17)

So both the Bears and the Buccaneers chose the wrong quarterback? Good to know. (Dolphins 27, Bears 14)


Is the referee putting his contact lens back in? He is! I find that strangely reassuring. So that was a fumble after all. Leon Hall just dropped a pick-six. I don't know where Luck was going with that, either. Careful with those legs, Burfict. That's a good stand by the Bengals — you make Luck run twice in a goal-to-go situation, you'll take that. Every time I've seen the Bengals this year, Gresham hasn't been getting any separation from defenders. Bradshaw! Good job atoning for the fumble earlier. It seems like Trent Richardson's finally starting to figure it out. Another fumble? Bad handoff. Man, as soon as I said it. Of course, the Bengals can't get anything going. A lot happened on that pass to Bernard — was it backwards? Was that hit legal?




Fleener couldn't have seen that; that's the only reason he didn't go get it. Did somebody just get run? Oh, yeah, you can't touch the refs. This may not  be the best time to point out that the Colts are hitting everything in front of them but they are. I'd be shocked if the Bengals' total yards after the catch was more than 10. I'm surprised Allen stayed inbounds. The Bengals are getting overwhelmed on offense. it really does feel like they should be down 30 with how little production they've gotten. This should be a touchdown. Yep — the guy tackling Bradshaw grabbed him by his knee, keeping it from hitting the ground. Dude has six touchdown catches. Sanu! That's the first play the Bengals have made and there's 11 minutes left. They didn't get ANY points? Lord. To D.C.! (Colts 27, Bengals 0)




There was no fair catch signal. Carroll can complain all he wants. A Seahawk slipped on that Cunningham 3rd down run that didn't get there. That is terrible edge defense by the Rams. How do you let Russell Wilson break off a 52-yarder? Offensive holding takes away a touchdown and Lynch's only good run today. That's... a touchdown. Who's this dude? Number three tight end? I'm not a fan of the empty backfield on the two-point conversion, even with a quarterback who can run. I think it limits your options. And it didn't work. Chris Givens? Let me tell you something: I don't want to say if Austin Davis is good or not, but he isn't bad. Did this break the plane? Yes! The problem the Rams had last week was they couldn't sustain it for four quarters. This week they just might. If... IF they can stop this drive, which they haven't yet. How did Kearse get that open? Then he ran through the coverage. Bad tackling by the Rams on the Baldwin touchdown. FAKE PUNT!!!! If nothing else, it bought the Rams some yardage. Best case, it might end the game.




Why did Fisher call time out? Fumble? Who's got it? That's a clean fumble. No way to tell.




Rams ball! That's it! Wow. Carroll looks stunned.




(Rams 28, Seahawks 26)




I don't think we could have expected Colt McCoy to be the one to end the Kirk Cousins era but here we are. Offsetting penalties? So much for that big DeSean catch. That is blatant interference — McCourty's hanging on for dear life, as Harlan described it. Stop yapping, DeSean. How did he not get flagged there? Field goal up. Field goal good. And Colt McCoy has as many wins this season as Kirk Cousins does. (Redskins 19, Titans 17)


Well, Brees looks like he's back. Great catch and body control by that guy to give the Lions the lead. So Brees cooled off in the fourth? Look, if you make him run, that's a win. And there's your stop.




Apparently no one. (Lions 24, Saints 23)

Why so mad, Giants? Three straight runs. Interesting. Fine coverage by the Giants on Escobar. did they forget he was on the field? Antrel Rolle was going in the opposite direction. Also, Romo had three days to throw that ball. Chronicle the saga of the Giants' new offense, won't you, Thom Brenneman? I feel like Giants fans had gotten fed up with Gilbride's predictable scheme and wanted something new.




Well this is interesting. The ground caused that fumble but I don't know about that spot. Now, did Garrett challenge after they measured? It's short. Giants going for it? I'd have the quarterback sneak banked just in case drawing them offsides goes wrong. Aaand it's a false start so it doesn't matter. How are you gonna fine a guy who clearly can't afford underwear? I kid, I kid, the NFL rookie scale is pretty good. The Giants are misfiring in the passing game again. Big pickup by Donnell. They're going for it again? And throwing into double coverage? Pass interference? OK. Hey an Andre Williams sighting. Carr holds Beckham and he still scores. Romo just barely escaped calamity there. Dez fell down is why that interception happened. That return by Prince, though. Murray popped him one at the end to knock him out of bounds. Touchdown Giants.




Careful, DeMarco — you've never played a full season in the NFL. I mean, Romo has so much time at times behind this line. I don't understand the last three minutes of this half. ELI MOTORING. That should have been a fumble. That drive was kind of a waste. Hey, Murray's back in. You have to actually tackle Dez. Romo led Escobar pretty much perfectly on that touchdown.  Aikman's talking about how these quick wide receiver screens didn't work for the Seahawks last week, either. Another wasted drive by the Giants. WHOA that's bright. Romo just said "double move" and then they ran the ball. I'd have gone for it, Garrett. The Giants can't stop them right now. Charissa's report about the sunlight coming in through the usually-closed doors has me thinking of The Hunt For Red October. "Those doors, sir, are the problem." Fumble! Cowboys ball. Pretty much the same thing that happened earlier on the Bradshaw run that they didn't give the Cowboys the ball on. Dez!! They're gonna give him that? Nah, he's down at about the 3. Or the 1. It's all semantics, really. I feel like Eli's had a good game but it won't matter in the end. Well, they've got something cooking here, at least. I mean, this is what this offense is now, especially with no Cruz. Beckham scores and for the moment, we have a game. This is how you run a four-minute drive, and Bailey's not going to miss this field goal. (Cowboys 31, Giants 21)




Dockett's already out for the season. What's he got to lose? (Cardinals 24, Raiders 13)

Those aren't the 49ers' regular left guard and center either. That was easy enough. This would be the place to try a 51-yarder with a 39-year-old kicker, you know. Not even close. That's good concentration by Sanders. Peyton just faked everybody out on that pass to Welker. He's tied! Been quite a few sacks already tonight. Is there any ball Boldin can't catch? Yeah, that's interference, and not good interference, as Boldin caught it before it got knocked out of his hands. Well I guess there's one ball Boldin can't catch.




I have no idea why Harbaugh's challenging this — he's gonna lose 15 yards on the penalty regardless.
That is also a penalty. Peyton fell down after that play fake and for a split second I thought he was going to try to throw it from his back. Wrong Thomas, Peyton. Good job by NBC going to the PA for the announcement.










The Niners are wasting all kinds of time here. I feel like they were unjustly rewarded for that.
Not a good throw by Kaepernick. And Peyton cashes in IMMEDIATELY. The 49ers corners aren't good. And really, they're just outmanned in general tonight and will be until they get some key guys back. Now the Broncos are continuing a 15-year or so tradition of running the ball effectively with guys you've never heard of. Al and Cris are flipping coins up in the booth. Osweiler's in. Were those his career numbers? Also, I see Blaine Gabbert is still crap.




Look, a good prank requires proper planning. Any episode of Night Court should have taught you that. (Broncos 42, 49ers 17)

YOU'RE MY BOY, BLUE. Good Lord, I apologize. That's what the Texans needed and the Steelers didn't. Ben didn't even hold on to the ball all that long — Mercilus was just on him that quickly. Also, Watt straight up abused DiCostanzo. The Steelers' defense is just too old. That's... that's a hell of a metaphor by Timmons just now.




You know who's good is DeAndre Hopkins. I'd go for this if I were the Texans. You've got Arian Foster. And that's how you do that. Watt is unblockable. You know a guy who doesn't get talked about anymore is Brian Cushing, who looked really slow trying to run down Bell just then. Whoa! Someone blew a coverage. This is that kid's debut, I believe. Good start. Wait, is this a fumble? They're looking closely at it. Steelers ball! That did NOT deserve to work. And Fitzpatrick just threw an interception! Timmons is having a rough night. That pass hit him in the head. Touchdown to Bell! JEBUS.










Flea flicker? Shame that didn't amount to anything. Now the Texans are pinned deep. Nice job moving the ball and getting out of there. This is getting overturned — Moore was rather clearly down. Though I do find it interesting that the original call was that the Texans player had stepped out of bounds after picking the ball up. You know who's still good is Andre Johnson. I mean, that's a catch. It's not NOT a catch. THIS one, on the other hand... where's that second foot? Man, I don't know. That's as close as it gets. Oh my God, Hopkins, that was terrible. Tirico's right — why are the Steelers throwing here? The Texans somehow have no time outs left. Is Jim Harbaugh coaching tonight? And here's why... the Texans just went down the field on your defense and there's still 1:45 left. You'd better recover this awful onside kick. Good job. (Steelers 30, Texans 23)

RANKINGS

TOP 4:

1. Dallas (6-1) — I mean... there's really no denying it
2. Denver (5-1) — A self-assured bunch
3. Arizona (5-1) — Another easy victory
4. Green Bay (5-2) — Sneaking up on everyone

BOTTOM 4:
29. Tampa Bay (1-5) — No team in the league has allowed more points
30. Jacksonville (1-6) — Nice first win for the Jags
31. N.Y. Jets (1-6) — I'm guessing Harvin won't much like it here, either
32. Oakland (0-6) — Hit new low getting trolled by an injured guy

Saturday, October 4, 2014

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 4: Holding the Bag

Giants-Redskins on CBS. For guys my age, it's just right. I wonder how many time Simms will slip up and actually call them the Redskins. (Answer: One.) Cruz dropping passes again. That's easily a fumble. Cousins never saw that. This Larry Donnell has really stepped up so far. The Giants may have finally found a tight end again. Redskins kick coverage!


Cousins is getting chased out there right now. Cruz was pretty open there. The Redskins defense looks tired. Donnell again. And he beat Meriwether.


Good job by Cousins to wait until Roberts got open, which didn't take very long. Gotta catch those, rook. Oh, man, the Redskins had Jennings stopped on that 3rd and 1 but he just wasn't having it. LARRY DONNELL IS A GOLDEN GOD. Ouch. That was a vicious collision. And now they have to review it. Mike Carey says it'll be complete and down by contact. but that's not the most important thing.


That is ALSO a fumble. Dude just took it out of Paulsen's hands.

Cruz got out with one second left on the clock! Just think, if they'd done that in 2010 they'd have beaten the Eagles. This is ridiculous.

Meanwhile, David Robertson just greased his exit out of the Bronx by blowing this save. Although, Jeter will bat in the 9th now...

Now it's the Giants who can't cover receivers. Or running backs. This is gonna end up 44-40,  isn't it?


A Patrick Ramsey name drop. There's a guy who got screwed. So the Giants can't cover backs and the Redskins can't cover tight ends. Got it. Is that a good play by Prince or a bad play by Cousins? Probably somewhere in between. That's the second time in three weeks Jennings has put a touchdown on the turf. Whoa! Wait, what? Get down! Get back in the end zone! Now Eli thinks it's a touchdown and I have no idea why he thinks that but whatever. Hang on, he may be right. It's SO close that you can't overturn it. Also of note is Meriwether actually used his shoulder and hot his head to pop the ball out. Are they piping Mike Carey into FedEx Field or do the acoustics just suck? Wow. As Bill Parcells said, let's put away the anointing oils for Kirk Cousins. How did Randle catch that? The Redskins can't even cover the backup tight end.



Cousins threw ANOTHER interception?



And now their only good offensive lineman might be hurt. Who's the backup now? COLT McCOY?! Okay, Eli Manning just ran more than two yards for a touchdown. Seal the vault. Cousins is shellshocked.


There's still seven minutes left? My God. Thursday night games are awful. (Giants 45, Redskins 14)


Signal Finder: GB @ CHI, CAR @ BAL, BUF @ HOU (end), DET @ NYJ (end), TB@ PIT (end), PHI @ SF

Is LaDarius Webb ever gonna play again? That sack killed that entire drive. Amazing the Panthers got nothing out of that. Trent Green thinks Steve Smith is giving his old team the silent treatment. Let's see how long that lasts. The Panthers are pulling out running backs nobody's ever heard of. How about this sequence of events for them: Williams missed the last two games, but last week both Stewart and Tolbert got hurt and I think Tolbert's out for the year. Well, that was a thing that happened. The announcers think Smith broke off his route but I'm not sure why he'd just follow Daniels if that were the case. It looks like Daniels even sees him when he tips the ball, too. That may be an incompletion — did Benjamin have control? They're saying he didn't and I'm not sure I disagree. Harbaugh challenges and loses. Whoa! Newton has maybe a six-inch window on that 3rd-down pass to Cotchery. And now Williams is limping - oh boy. How is Justin Forsett, a super sized Darren Sproles, running through Panthers players? Not tackles, the actual players? Wait, did the Ravens just do the Browns' Manziel fake from last week and it worked? Tucker missed a 57-yarder left. Man, Flacco is cutting this Panthers defense to pieces. Benjamin's out of bounds here — no touchdown. Oh, wait, maybe not? This may be a control question again. Yeah, this is getting out of hand. (Ravens 38, Panthers 10)


Natalie Coughlin being a Raiders fan makes me irrationally sad. (Dolphins 38, Raiders 14)


Man, Burkhart was sure that flag was going against the Bears. And it... should have? FOX: puts up graphic detailing Bears' proclivity to throwing in the red zone. Bears: Run two straight running plays.
Dude on the Packers fell down? OK. That makes things easier for anyone. So how'd the other Rodgers get so wide open? Oh, right, Bears safeties. Lacy just drilled his way through that pile for the score.


Wait, was that on purpose? It sure wasn't. Cutler fumbled the snap, picked it back up and ran for about 15 more yards. Lynch pointing out that House, who fell on the Marshall touchdown, just fell down again. It's hard to throw a ball too high for these receivers, but Cutler just did it twice.
Packers got bailed out on that bad 3rd down run call. Cutler's struggling to pick up the ball for some reason. The Packers are the team with the rookie center... Forte's having a decent game so far, which the Bears will need later. A pass to Jeffrey off a fake reverse? SWANK. And he walked into the end zone. Onside kick? I certainly wouldn't have done that. And that's why — the Bears can't stop the Packers in the air. Clinton-Dix just stonewalled Bennett at the end zone! Wow! They got a goal line cam on the other side? I don't think Bennett made it. That other view won't change anything, either.



How did Rodgers last long enough in that pocket to get that pass off, let alone for a touchdown (that was ultimately called back)? Crosby barely made that one. Forte is going off right now. Oh no! Cutler shouldn't have thrown that one there. Another drive wasted. Cobb just dropped a touchdown. But Nelson didn't. The Bears are self-destructing now — another Cutler pick, then a penalty on Bostic (but what the hell for?) takes a Packers field goal off the board, and Cobb catches a touchdown on the very next play. I thought they'd win this game, in all honesty. This interception won't count. How have the Packers not scored on this drive yet? They've had the ball for, what, 10 minutes? And somehow, the Bears keep them off the board, which they could have used about five series ago. (Packers 38, Bears 17)

Sup, Bills-Texans! This is a game that can tilt the season for both teams. We missed JJ Watt running 79 yards with an interception for a touchdown for that debacle? They're trying a 55-yarder? Really? He made it! Then EJ Manuel comes back immediately and throws a bomb to Williams, who roasted his man and scored easily. I think Bullock Hulked Up before the 50-yarder. There was some contact on that last interception — I see why Woods is upset. (Texans 23, Bills 17)


Meanwhile, in Pittsburgh, the Buccaneers' backup running back just threw a pass with 2:05 left and his team down by four. That's twice Glennon missed possible touchdowns, the second one going off Vincent' Jackson's hands. Really, Steelers? You fail to convert a first down that would have ended the game, then throw up a horrible punt? HUGE pass to get into the red zone by Glennon. TOUCHDOWN BUCCCANEERS. Jackson got that one.






(Buccaneers 24, Steelers 20)




That's a generous spot. But at the same time I'm not sure this is the time to use a challenge. I don't like challenging spots, as you know. Holy crap the Eagles got a sack and that's with the 49ers offensive line complete. BLOCKED PUNT TOUCHDOWN! Gore with a nice run. They called an illegal pick on the 49ers? That's odd. Aikman hates it. Now what's this one? Aikman suspects a makeup call but it actually was illegal contact. Twice in a row an Eagles defender has just missed Kaepernick. Well, they only got three. That's a win of some kind. Uh-oh. Boykin's down hurt in the end zone and Burton failed to stay out of it while downing the ball. That's the second time today the announcers have incorrectly predicted a penalty. It's amazing the Eagles already have three sacks against a far better offensive line than they faced last week. So Gore runs around for 10 seconds then decides to go downfield, Kaepernick gets rushed out of the pocket, sees he's completely uncovered, and throws up a lob across his body and across the field for a touchdown. Don't try that at home, kids. The Eagles keep ending up in 3rd down and long. Jenkins! Money well spent. He's making moves like Barry Sanders. Touchdown!



Neither offense has looked great so far. They almost got to that punt, too. Sproles!! This is nuts. And the facemask was on the 49ers so this will stand. It was on Sproles's helmet, even, right when he caught the punt. As usual, the 49ers aren't helping themselves with penalties. It's strange — this is the best offensive line the Eagles have faced so far and they've gotten more pressure today than any other time this season. McCoy missed a chance to cut upfield on that run. Nice sideline overhead grab by Boldin. So that deal with Cary Williams and Crabtree's helmet was the right call, or non-call, in this case. Even a field goal that sails cleanly through the uprights from 51 yards out gets affected somehow. That's not an interception. Cooper fumbled on a play that wouldn't have worked anyway — he had no chance of getting out of bounds before the clock ran out. Did Vernon Davis just have a back spasm? He grabbed his back right after that tackle. Now Peters is walking off. That ball popped right out of Ertz's hands and into Cox's. Another Eagles sack. You know it's bad when you're getting beat by Casey Matthews. ANOTHER sack? Oh, I don't know about that holding call on Cary. Johnson somehow stayed in the end zone there.


(Turns out the rule there is that if the receiver's already in the end zone, he just has to have possession. If he were a runner, it'd be the exact opposite, which, again, makes NO FREAKING SENSE.) How was there not a flag on Brooks for tackling Matthews? So the big Gore run sets up a field goal. What was Foles looking for there? The Eagles' best offensive player today has been Riley Cooper and he's dropped at least one touchdown pass.




McCoy is actively killing the Eagles at this point. Run straight ahead for ONCE. They took the penalty... why? Don't give them another shot to get a first down or more here. That didn't make any sense whatsoever. A second Brad Smith sighting? That Maclin catch is going to stand because there's not enough clear evidence to overturn.


I mean, I guess both things can be true. This would be one of the most bizarre Eagles wins in recent memory (non-Giants edition) if they pulled this out. Now what? I'd hope they thought McCoy or Sproles, who I don't think we've seen in a while, could get one yard here. Or sneak Foles. He's 6-6. Apparently not.




One more shot! But they keep moving backwards and that's a recipe for failure. If Chip's losing confidence in McCoy down there, that could be a huge problem. (49ers 26, Eagles 21)

When the Jaguars drafted Blake Bortles, I said on Facebook that it looks like they drafted Blaine Gabbert again. (Seriously, compare their scouting reports.) And I know it's only been one game, but in 28 starts, Gabbert had only one game as good as this one was. (Chargers 33, Jaguars 14)

We've got the Saints on the road versus Tony Romo in prime time. SOMETHING HAS TO GIVE.
Williams got straight-up pasted and still held on. Cowboys getting penalized here like they're the 49ers. Now Brees just took off for a first down. How was that nor fair catch interference? These defenses aren't what I would call "good." Touchdown Murray. The Saints are getting thrashed on all fronts. Williams drags a defender into the end zone and this is officially a massacre. Clearly, "the Saints on the road" is the larger factor right now. Stills! Colston just saved an interception and this drive. Why are they kicking the field goal? Good Lord. Murray AGAIN. This is ridiculous.


Yeah, that's a late hit. Weird, like Collinsworth said — it looked like Carter just figuratively blew a tire or something. Touchdown Saints and they might go for two here but probably won't. I'd have onside kicked, though — they haven't stopped the Cowboys all night. Did that punt hit the VIDEO BOARD? It did! And Al says that it should have led to a rekick which is why it matters. If Cadet hadn't had to come back for the ball there he'd have scored. Jimmy Graham is unguardable. Was Romo even touched on that sack? I don't like the Saints' decision to punt here. I REALLY don't like them running a fake punt here.



I'll keep saying it: the Saints can't stop anything. This is about when you'd normally expect Romo to throw a pick-six but it didn't happen this time. Dez! That should lock this up. Man, Jason Garrett's wife looks miserable. Hey, I think that was a fumble. (Cowboys 38, Saints 17)

We need more instrumental anthems. How about this crowd singing along. Bringing that kickoff out was a mistake. Charles has some running lanes early.


That didn't last long, and neither did this Patriots' drive. Nice catch, Bowe. Did Charles make it? I can't see any sign of the ball. That is Jason Kelce's brother, Travis, and I think Jason is actually faster than he is. That was too easy. This is the second straight September that Brady just hasn't been good. What was that foolishness on 4th and 2? They ran the punt team out then changed their minds? Just to get the Chiefs to burn a time out? Kelce just threw a Patriot down. Then Donnie Avery just broke a tackle attempt by the same guy (Logan Ryan, one of far too many Rutgers guys on one NFL roster). There's that Andy Reid clock management again. It looked like nobody knew what the play was. That didn't reach the end zone. Penalty? It's on the Patriots so there'll be another play. That ball didn't break the plane. So they'll get three and have completely dominated this half.





Ball's out! How the hell did the Patriots recover that? The Chiefs are just knocking the Patriots off the ball right now. Hali threw a lightning bolt at Brady on that strip fumble. This is starting to get out of hand. Did this even happen during the Revenge Road Tour of 2005 (the season Brady missed)? The Patriots looks completely overmatched, talent-wise, on both sides of the ball.




I'll come back to that. Nice throw, Tom. And nice route, Edelman. The Patriots were lucky to give up just another field goal. Hey, Brandon Lafell did something. Gruden nailed it with his line about Eagles fans scratching their heads that Andy's running the ball so much. Charles lost his balance and... was his knee down? Who's got the ball in the end zone? No one, then? OK. And the Chiefs score anyway. No one covered Kelce? That one's on Brady.




Garoppolo! That's some insult-to-injury business right there.

Turns out this was the Patriots' worst loss since that 2005 season. Let me pull this tweet up from May:




I mean, pundits love clowning on Scott Pioli, but he wouldn't have traded Richard Seymour without a replacement on hand. And it took them, what, four years to actually replace Seymour? (By the way, the Logan Mankins trade feels a lot like that one did at the time. Those who do not learn from history, etc.) How many defensive players in the second and third rounds have they missed on? Rasi-I Dowling. Terrence Wheatley. Brandon Spikes. Patrick Chung. Darius Butler. Are there more? Their best receivers are short and fragile. I mean, they mostly always have been but they were good players. Wes Welker's still better than anyone they have right now, for example. They spent big money on Danny Amendola last year only for him to get hurt (as usual) and for Julian Edelman to have the season he was supposed to have for about a million dollars. The big receivers they've drafted can't play for one reason or another. They've drafted more quarterbacks than offensive linemen in the first three rounds in the last four years.

If Bill Belichick gets the credit for three Super Bowl wins in four years, then he also has to get the blame for this.

(Chiefs 41, Patriots 14)

Friday, September 19, 2014

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 2: Breeding Contempt

I'd be OK with the Ravens going 0-16. They've never been easy to root for even when things were good. Now? Forget it. James Brown just spit FIRE.


I see we've got delay issues. Yeah, that's definitely roughing the passer. Lot of legal hitting going on, too, as is standard in these games. Antonio Brown's gotten popped big twice already like the Ravens are avenging the Browns' punter. FUMBLE. Phil Simms is advocating going for it? What is this, the New 52?



Flacco threw that right into a pass interference call. Yeah, this "no number 2 receiver" thing is going to haunt the Steelers, I think. Did DHB even make the roster? So it's the Bernard Pierce era now in Baltimore, kind of. Did Ben just make the defender okey-doke himself on the Bell run? He did! All that time for a field goal? That seems like a waste. Now Nantz and Simms are talking about how bad Ray Rice was last year. Which he was, but that hardly seems like the most important thing right now.



That flag on Polamalu was close. I love that they put down Hochuli's chyron that he's a 23-year referee after he was facing the wrong way while announcing that penalty. The one on Mitchell was called incorrectly - that hit was late, nothing more. Hey, Owen Daniels scored again. Now what's this one? Oh, a face mask. Good hold by the Steelers to force the field goal. That is a catch and a fumble. I'm really only half-watching this because it's so, well, boring. The Steelers can't do anything and there's no tension, which just shouldn't be the case when these two teams play. Ben's gotta start throwing it or the receivers have to start catching it, one or the other. I mean, at least they're holding the Ravens to field goals? I'm looking for anything here. I guess Antonio Brown's having a good game? Well, that's the end of that. (Ravens 26, Steelers 6)

Signal Finder: AZ @ NYG, JAX @ WSH, NO @ CLE (end), NYJ @ GB

Carson's a late scratch for the Cardinals so Drew Stanton's going to start. Lot of things went wrong on that delay of game/personal foul double shot. Stanton is doing work on this Giants defense. If this continues, they may as well close up shop. Somehow a open-field tackle attempt on Rashad Jennings went as badly as possible. The blitz caused that interception.

DRC already having a better game than he did last week.
Nice throw by Eli to Cruz. Touchdown Giants. The Giants are making this Cardinals defense look pretty ordinary right now. Patrick Peterson's furious about something. Probably the fact that the Giants are walking down the field on his unit. And now they've gone ahead. SPEED II got backed up there.




SPEED II!! One Giant missed a tackle and he was gone. Did the Giants just fumble the ensuing kickoff? Jesus, Cruz. How do you not catch that? He did it AGAIN! This Larry Donnell guy is going off. Oh, he's a tight end and it's against the Cardinals, who got lit up by tight ends all of last season. Jennings just fumbled the ball trying to juke a defender.




Now Randle's dropping passes. Good job, Drew Stanton. applauds (Cardinals 25, Giants 14)


Johnny Football LIVES! If only for three plays. The Browns scored 26 points with no Josh Gordon and Jordan Cameron missing the second half? There's the Rob Ryan defense we know and love.


(Browns 26, Saints 24)

Gruden should challenge this. Oh, that's a bad non-reversal — DeSean was down by contact. Man, Hurns catches that ball last week — he smoked DeAngelo Hall. Now we're seeing mirror images — both teams have lost a big play and taken a sack on the ensuing third down. So a wild, off-blance throw by Griffin is caught mostly because Jacksonville's corners may be the worst in the league. Oh no. This looks bad. Then Cousins comes in and finds the fullback all by himself in the end zone. Now DeSean's down.










Is Cousins limping too or just tired? Oh, I guess he's fine. The Redskins' defense is just teeing off right now. I mean, they're tearing these guys apart. Good Lord, Washington's pass defense completely broke down on the touchdown to Lewis. How did he not get caught from behind, though? The safety was Meriwether's replacement, so the result would have been the same regardless. Here's the thing: The only reason the Jags made anything happen defensively last week was because Foles was literally giving the ball to them. They got torched in the second half last week. Nothing's changed. Meanwhile, Cousins just wasted 10 seconds after that sack. That's the second time Henne's taken off and run.




Kai Forbath sounds like the name of a guy who should be playing in the second division of La Ligue. These are two pretty bad offensive lines. Wilcots is making the correct point that you can't put Bortles behind this line and I'll add that that's a large part of why Gabbert was such a failure.(Redskins 41, Jaguars 10)

Object Lesson Of The Week:



(Cowboys 26, Titans 10)

Trent Green! Welcome! Rodgers fumbles the opening snap? OK. They were worried about this last week and it ended up not being a problem. Not exactly a strut into the end zone by Geno but it got the job done. The Jets' pass rush is going to give this Packers offensive line problems. Like so. Decker!!
Bizarre catch by Jordy Nelson — he stopped half of his body in mid-air to bring that down. That, however, is not a catch. Going for a 4th and 2 from the opponents' 28? Rex wants to bury these guys. THEN Geno almost gets crushed, finds Powell open in the flat, and converts another third down. And it all pays off with a touchdown. The Packers bench just got flagged for something. Ohhhh. The refs missed that hit out of bounds on Nelson. Something got screwed up on that too-quick pass Rodgers threw on 2nd down and goal. Crowd is booing the Packers' decision to kick here. Crosby made the kick and they're still booing. They cheered the one he made from La Crosse, though. That interception's a huge break for the Packers because the Jets were about to score again. Jason Babin being a detriment to his team? That's never happened before. To say nothing of the Jets' second-best player being down injured right now. Well the Packers just drove all the way down the field. How did this take six minutes before we got a challenge? Yeah, that's fine. Now what? It looks like Geno was trying to ground it but did he get it away in time? Carey thinks it's really a backward pass, not a fumble, but it'll still be Packers ball. A whole mess of carnage right now after the Packers take the lead. Wilkerson just got thrown out! Oh, well he threw two punches. That'll do it every time. Prediction: The Jets lose this game.After this field goal ties it, of course. But they had this thing in the bad and it trickled away piece by piece. NELSON!! Unreal.




No, no. Rex HAD to have called that time out, right? Only the head coach can call time out from the sideline, right? What a Jets way to lose. (Packers 31, Jets 24)

THE RUSSIAN IS CUT! (Chargers 30, Seahawks 21)





I mean, how do you not notice that? J.J. Watt's on the field on offense FOR A REASON. (Texans 30, Raiders 14)

The 49ers' new digs may as well be in Los Angeles, to hear the locals tell it. It's very angular. Why is dude from Train holding two microphones? Blocked punt! Crabtree was wide open.




Wait, the 49ers got away with having the play clock run out of them? That never happens. Boldin was wide open on that pass, too. Jonathan Martin lives! (And Richie Incognito's still out of work, for the record.) Interception? Don't think so. Man, NBC putting the Bears on blast with that graphic. (And rightfully so.)




Wait. They overturned the catch because of THAT? Weak. Sauce. The Bears can't get anything started. Collinsworth has a point — the Bears' receivers can't outrun anybody right now, but let them go up and jump for these balls. Holy crap, Conte. That's the best thing that guy will ever do. There's a million flags on this punt. Only one on the re-kick, though. Fumble! And then the Bears fumble and the 49ers blow a chance to get it back. This Bostic guy on the Bears seems to overrun everything. Cutler channeling Kaepernick? What? Then he takes a sick shot to the chest that was rightfully flagged and Alshon Jeffrey had to break up the ensuing interception.




Matt Forte has done nothing tonight. GREAT one-handed grab by Marshall. Now Gore's running like Forte. Good stop by the Bears. Why do the 49ers keep committing bad penalties? I mean, 100 yards in penalties through three quarters is downright Raider-esque. Touchdown Bears and this game shouldn't be as close as it is. Interception?!? And another flag because of course there is.




Touchdown Bears. This is wild.




And Kaepernick throws ANOTHER interception! Though that's more a good play by the rookie Fuller than anything else. Cutler did a nice job of setting up that completion to Jeffrey. Marshall again. Now Kaepernick's doing everything he can to salvage this. There's that Jim Harbaugh clock management we know and love.




And after all that, Crabtree had the potential game-tying touchdown IN HIS HANDS. Go back to San Francisco, you plebeians. (Bears 28, 49ers 20)

So much for an 8:15 start. Kendricks just ran through the Colts' blocking there. Foles is off to the exact opposite start than last week. I've been hoping Chip would use more two-back sets this year and I'm glad he is. That was the longest run of Richardson's career. Unbalanced line? That's one of Chip's moves.




Bradshaw just barely got stopped. That was too easy. Those solar panels at the Linc? Legit. Why is this commercial break so long? Sproles just took off like a rocket. Man, Cooper caught that pass last year. This kid at right tackle is getting used and abused. Parkey missed? Indoors? Bring back Henery! The Eagles are starting to come after Luck big time. Viniatieri's still pretty good. You know who else is good is their punter. McCoy's L1 is constantly pressed. That's the second time Foles has misfired on that screen to Maclin. That's not gonna work either... that should have gone into the end zone.




The Colts stopped that blitz. Is this Richardson's best game ever? I think the Colts ran the same play again but to the tight end on that touchdown.




Hey, Jordan Matthews caught one! Ertz! That's a clutch pass interference call. Can somebody not named Sproles catch a pass tonight? Just give it to that guy. There you go. No need to complicate this stuff. Fumble! There's the Richardson we know and love. That's on Ertz - he needs to catch that. Sproles!




Uh-oh, losing Kendricks is not a good thing. That's the third time the Eagles have been beaten on that play tonight. None of this is sustainable. Oh Lord, Casey Matthews just got juked by Trent Richardson. Interception?!? Why even throw a pass there? And Boykin got away with at least a hold there. Why does Foles dive instead of slide? Actually, looking at it again, Hilton had his arm extended and was pushing off of Boykin, so that's a good no-call, as it turns out. That's not a horse collar either, and the same bad call was made against the Eagles last week. DARREN SPROLES IS A GOLDEN GOD. Is it possible to milk 3 minutes, 49 seconds off the clock from the six-yard line? Maclin finally caught one! We're tied again! These fans are NOT happy. Unfortunately, Luck has them right where he wants them. Really, Jon? Did you already forget what happened the last time Luck threw on third down for no good reason? Ertz again! Sproles again! Chip is playing this clock perfectly. They probably could have run another play but let's see about it. It's good! Wait, what? The Colts called time out? All right, let's do this again. It's STILL good.


This can't continue. Logically, it can't. Can it? No, it can't. But I'm not giving it back.


And now, the most random football-related tweet of the weekend:


(Eagles 30, Colts 27)

Sunday, September 14, 2014

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 1: Grand Spectacle



Victoria Justice > Ariana Grande. It's true and you know it. SECURE THE FOOTBALL. I see the Seahawks' defense is in midseason form. There's really no good reason for Earl Thomas to be returning punts. That's incomplete all the way - the defender never had possession. Oh, he did run into the punter. OK. Well there's our first Soundgarden bumper of the night. Aaaand that's one of the reasons Earl Thomas returning punts is a bad idea.


The Packers are pleased by this development. Touchdown! Hey, I know you're surprised to see Percy Harvin still on the field, but when he is, try covering him. That play fake was tremendous.


Bobby Wagner's fast because Randall Cobb's really fast. Yeah, that's a penalty. We're tied. Sweet one-handed grab by Miller, who was their highest-paid player last season. (Needless to say, he isn't now.) Oh man, Bulaga's knee AGAIN? BEAST MODE. That wasn't particularly beastly, though. More like Feral Mode. I want to make a Ha Ha Clinton-Dix joke but it'd just be terrible and he's suffered enough already tonight. That snap was... problematic. Was Rodgers trying to call time?
Stop giving away first downs, Packers. You're still rolling out Coach T, NBC? Really? And now the Seahawks start grinding with Lynch. Not the best throw by Rodgers but Nelson needs to catch that. Maxwell played well last year when all their other guys got suspended — that's not surprising at all. How do you confuse a flag and a bean bag? Kevin Williams is still in the league? I'm surprised the Packers are going for this. Cliff Avril's been singlehandedly destroying this Packers offensive line. Then Bennett straight-up murked Sherrod on that safety. The Packers' "amoeba" defense seems pretty sickly. There's Lynch again and we may be done here. Time to see if Federer can hang on.



Packers are doing an awful lot of running here. Hey, that worked. Someone blew up that two-point conversion.



Here's a Derrick Coleman who's easy to root for. NOW we're done here. The Packers have lost about five offensive linemen tonight. Meanwhile, Federer just did to this kid what the Seahawks did to the Packers.


Oh man, he's right. Wilson's not as dynamic as Kaepernick, but it's the same kind of stuff. It really is.
(Seahawks 36, Packers 16)

Signal Finder: JAX @ PHI, NO @ ATL  (end of regulation), BUF @ CHI (OT), SF @ DAL

Catalon, Tasker and Buerelein? This is the CBS equivalent of whenever Chris Myers has to do a game for FOX. Are the Jaguars' two-tone helmets new? They should send them back. Not even close. Ertz! Oh, that's a fumble, isn't it? Someone bit on that play fake, didn't they? Yeah, looks like Allen got caught and the receiver beat Williams to the inside. The tuck rule never made sense. Oh, right, I forgot CBS hired Mike Carey to be their Pereira. Another fumble? Come on, Nick. Throw the ball. Allen Hurns is out here setting records. This feels like the Cardinals are in town. Foles looks confused. Wait, how is THAT A fumble? He was clearly throwing it, I thought. I'd have gone for it here, myself. But that punt was deadly. I mean, obviously nobody scouted this Hurns kid because he wasn't drafted but this is ridiculous. That's a questionable horse-collar call. The fans just saw that replay and now they're really mad.


Hey, something went wrong for the Jaguars! Nice catch by Matthews. And Foles ruins it by throwing an absolutely terrible interception in the end zone.


And Henne's marching the Jags down the field now. This is pathetic. Blocked! Scobee's day is getting worse. Now Mathis is hurt. Then Foles got hit and Sanchez grabbed his helmet but nothing came of it. Now Barbre's going off the field and the injuries are piling up. What is going on? Cyprien's head just bounced off the grass. Oh no not ANOTHER one. Wait, this should get reversed. Why are you punting, Chip?



I see Cowher's taken over Shannon Sharpe's role of making horrible puns during the halftime highlights. That's on Matthews. Go for it, Chip. SPROLES!! That's a career-long touchdown run for him? Weird. Get stops, guys. Good work. ERTZ!! That'll stand. Fletcher almost picked that off. The Jaguars suddenly can't do anything on offense. You know who's been playing consistently well for the Eagles today is the front seven. Knocking down balls, stuffing the run. All right, kid. 51 yards? GOOD. This might get held up because there was no "football move" but it's a good challenge by Chip. That'll stand, and I'm guessing that's the reason. MACLIN!!!! DeSean who? Also, nice coverage.



Henne got GOT. Jags going for it. Not a good throw by Henne. BIG MAN RUMBLE.


That was a long way to get there. And I'm not talking about Fletcher Cox's touchdown. (Eagles 34, Jaguars 17)

As great as Tom Brady is, Miami has not been kind to him. (Dolphins 33, Patriots 20)

Oh, the Saints did re-sign Shayne Graham at some point last week. They cut both their kickers on the final cutdown day and I wouldn't have been too shocked to see them just go without one, because other than Chip, Sean Payton is the closest thing the NFL has to That Dude. This Robinson injury actually helps the Falcons, since it stops the clock without them having to tell someone to. MIKE SMITH CLOCK MANAGEMENT, GUYS. Matt Bryant, yo. COLSTON FUMBLES. Remember, this is the second straight game where he's made a critical mistake at the end of it. Now they're just gonna set up for Bryant again. GOOD. (Falcons 37, Saints 34, OT)

And now, an unrelated aside.




If you're wondering why Bills AT Bears is on FOX, they've relaxed the network/conference borders. Chris Conte's still in the league? How? (Bills 23, Bears 20, OT)


PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Man, JerryWorld is loud for a place where the opposing team just scored. That's a fumble. Look, the Cowboys have lots of offense. That's not up for debate. But the rest of it... The Niners can't afford to be losing corners — the ones they have aren't that great to start with. JESUS. Kap can just DO things, man. And the Cowboys forgot to cover Vernon Davis. ROMO. Cowboys forgot to cover Vernon Davis again. That's actually a nice run by Murray.

Right into, like, quintuple coverage. Then Gore breaks off a 22-yard run through air. I'm not sure how wise this really is with Blaine Gabbert one snap away. Romo at his own 1? This oughta be good. Well, they've made some progress. OH NO. That wasn't going to go well, but my God.




Hey, a Stevie Johnson sighting. Carlos Hyde! Now we got all kinds of chaos. A fumbled interception and a penalty. So no flag, and now let's review the turnover(s). That was kinda quick, actually — not sure how I feel about that.

So which is better: The CFL East or the Big Ten? Discuss. You know things have gone too far south when you summon Pac-12 officials for the second half and it still isn't nearly enough.




(49ers 28, Cowboys 17)

And now, an aside related to the previous unrelated one.




(Steelers 30, Browns 27)

We've got a lot to digest in the new Sunday Night Football intro. Carrie's new and uglier dress, McCoy lip-syncing, Clay crowd surfing... plenty to process there. Hey, positive yards for Richardson! Someone was late? They're not gonna get this off. (And they didn't. Just as well; Vinatieri dinked the goal post anyway.) Not good by Luck — Allen wasn't even open. Well, there were offsetting holdings. Nice throw to Julius Thomas. Wait, ANDRE CALDWELL is Florida's all-time leading receiver? With all the guys Spurrier had (who never panned out in the pros)? That's hard to fathom.
NBC DJ going to break with "Limelight". And who are those guys? Probably could have saved "Get Lucky", though. Yeah, D'Qwell Jackson's not catching that dude in the open field. Oooh, that fumbled punt return could have been big. ANOTHER touchdown for Julius Thomas. Colts getting a drive when they could really use one. He can run, though. Oooh, better review that. That should be a touchdown, I think. Yeah. Al and Cris rightly commending the new centralized replay monitor. There's no reason for a decision that obvious to take three minutes.




And even if it had been, that's still a pretty bad interpretation of the PI rule: Harris turned around and didn't touch Hilton.Colts are going for it here after Nicks just missed the end zone, continuing his pattern from last year. Honestly, Luck's the Colts' best runner so the sneak is fine. It just didn't work.




The Colts got stuffed AGAIN? Maybe try passing? I mean, Trent Richardson can either become Mark Ingram or he can become Laurence Maroney. This is where the road forks. Wait, was he down? Oh, clearly. This shouldn't take long either. Ball! I'd say this one looks over but it's Luck. Richardson isn't even on the field anymore.




He stayed inbounds, right? Broncos aren't making a lot of noise about this one. Yeah, he's clear. Colts get the onside kick? Wait, did that go 10 yards? Oh, it did. OK. I think Bradshaw's just won the starting running back job. Gotta go for it on fourth down now, right? Hilton! Not the best throw by Luck on that interception, either. That Rahim Moore story is wild. The Broncos' punter was doing some acting there.




HAKEEM NICKS HAS SCORED A TOUCHDOWN. STOP THE PRESSES. Don't onside kick this one, Colts. Who's the most famous of these Jones brothers? Arthur, Jon or Chandler? Wow, the Broncos played right into the Colts' hands by throwing the football on both second and third down.
Well, this is it. Denied! Brees has never beaten the Ravens? Weird. (Mentioned because Peyton has now beaten literally everyone.) (Broncos 31, Colts 24)




I see the Giants' defense has yet to arrive as well. It's highly possible that the NFC East will be worse this year than last. Roughing the kicker takes the punter out? That's... not the easiest thing to do. A fade to who? Two straight passes on 1st and goal from the 1? I don't care that it finally worked. That's horrific play calling.




DRC simply cannot stay with Megatron. Just put someone else over there. Jesus, Stafford threw a LASER to Tate through two Giants. And OF COURSE there's a face mask penalty on the center. And then the rookie misses the kick. They should be up 28-0. Bad throw by Eli behind the receiver. Sure, DeAndre Levy, get up and run with it, why not. Wait... that may not have hit the ground. Oh, this'll be CLOSE. I can read Eli's lips, and he's not praying.




Eli's out here doing his best Romo impression. Seriously, the Giants should be dead and buried but the Lions keep missing chances. Hey, DRC made a successful play finally. Stafford was finally like, "Ah, the hell with it. I'll do it myself." And now the Giants are putting together an actual drive. Cover the running backs, Lions. Now the Lions are doing their march. They went for two? Man, that's cold. Call it. (Lions 35, Giants 14)


Kevin Butler's son? We're old, people. That's not an interception. Wait, what are the Cardinals challenging? The graphic and the ref said "challenging the interception" and that's not what happened there. And this is a fumble. Whoa! Where did Eddie Royal even come from? I was sure that was incomplete.





BLOCKED PUNT. When has Carson Palmer ever been so mobile? Did the Cardinals hire the Suns' training staff? I don't know what's going on now. Why's everyone jut standing around? This game has been awful. And Rivers throws another pick but Dilfer (who I intensely dislike for reasons I can't explain) thinks Royal stopped his route. Can't tell from here. Let's jump ahead a bit. We have two "M. Floyd"'s in this game and the Chargers' one just scored a touchdown. I'm surprised Ryan Mathews scored that touchdown in one piece. We've seen the Chargers blow this exact game before, though. Like so. Carson Palmer channeling Steve Young is a little scary. Touchdown! Wait, where's the quarterback? Well that didn't work. Antonio Gates still has it. The Chargers have gotten away with two turnovers on this drive because of Cardinal penalties... and they still couldn't capitalize.




Hey, a Larry Fitzgerald sighting! I'm legitimately impressed by how much better Michael Floyd has been that I thought he'd be. The Cardinals just took the lead! Rivers badly rushed that third-down pass. Delay of game? That's a Cardinals move. Oh, they got the time out. OK. Aaand it still doesn't matter. (Cardinals 18, Chargers 17)



Sunday, February 2, 2014

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth: A Ticket Punchers' Chance

I have to think that the move to change the start times of these games to 3 and 6:30 Eastern was, at least in part, for this very set of circumstances. You have to CATCH the snap, Peyton. That's better. That's two three-and-outs by the Patriots already.


I know I keep saying this but who are these jabronis Brady's throwing to? Uh-oh. Manning hit his groove. That's not pass interference? Way to not answer Nantz's question, Simms. It was kind of important.


Hey, a completion! That Ridley run was only the third that's been called so far. That still doesn't answer the question, Phil. Well, there it is, and it's by a guy who will never get the ball thrown to him again. Gotta call holding sometime.


Did the Broncos just give a backup tight end the ball on a RUNNING play? The Broncos have split Patriots defenders a few times already on this drive. Just finding holes and slipping through them. Did Peyton just say "Batman?" (Turns out it was "Fat man.") Moreno! DON'T FEED THE MACHINE, CBS GRAPHICS DEPARTMENT.


The Broncos won't risk a sneak here. Jebus, Peyton had at least three targets to choose from. Belichick going with the cap? Huh. Neither quarterback has faced any real pressure so far. Peyton is threading some needles on this two-minute drive. Why is Bon Jovi in Kraft's suite? That should have had a more successful ending. Wait, Peyton's 10 for his last 10? I  might have gone for it before the half if I'd known that. We're already talking about defensive fatigue, Simms? Though it should be noted that the Broncos got the ball to start the third quarter. Ball just plowed through the defense on that 3rd down run. Touchdown. Brady's all "I'm gonna have to do this myself again, aren't I?" The Patriots need this drive, and they probably need a touchdown. Everyone called time out there, apparently. The Patriots are still going for this. Aaaand that didn't work out so well. Knighton's been beating down fools all game and just got rewarded.


Julius Thomas just worked whoever was trying to cover him. Man, a touchdown would have ended it for sure. Although as badly as the Patriots are playing offensively, it might not matter. I mean, I didn't think they'd be able to score enough points but this is ridiculous.


How did Brady complete that? He was going down and lobbed it up there — I thought it had a better chance of getting intercepted. They needed that conversion. The overthrow followed by the touchdown to Edelman only underscores how not good Brady's been today. That's a big pickup from Peyton to Julius. But the one where he missed Demariyus could have ended it. Still, though. Uh-oh, Brady's doing that surgical thing. The Broncos are sitting back and the Patriots are killing them with underneath stuff. Brady could run for this. And he does! How do you fail to tackle Tom Brady, of all people? Just stand him up and wrap up. Not. Even. Close.


And that failed onside kick will put a wrap on this. Tamme! And that IS that. Hey, an Eli and Archie sighting! Also, John Fox's Revenge. (Broncos 26, Patriots 16)

Joe is PUMPED. Dr. Dre here to support his Beats clients. Stealing the "Crank It Up" box? The NASCAR people are gonna be PISSED. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL.


Giving up only three isn't the greatest thing here. Lynch got stuffed. That wasn't close either. That's why the fair catch signal was invented. You can't take that hit under any circumstances. Not sure how Reid didn't intercept that. It went off his hands! Kaepernick's running like he's playing the Packers. This is... I don't think he made it. Good thing these get reviewed. Nope. So what do the 49ers do? Run it back, that's what.
Wilson's getting chased all over this field.


Baldwin!! That may have been the miracle Greeny just referenced. The Seahawks are down enough receivers as it is — they better hope Baldwin's okay.


I don't like anything about this call. Not the call itself or the fact that the 49ers benefit from it.


Somehow, LaMichael James is back on this kickoff.


Whoa, Gore almost put that on the ground. Lynch is starting to find some holes. Like THAT one. That was the longest delay for an obvious touchdown ever.


I would have edited Cam's Play 60 commercial completely differently. They cut the best parts! Nice grab by Crabtree. Fumble! And the 49ers get lucky that their center ends up with it.


SO MUCH going on with that touchdown. First, Kaepernick was off the ground when he threw it. How did Earl Thomas not knock that down? Also, great concentration by Boldin there. Then Baldwin comes right back with a big kickoff return. The ones that are going the distance you can tell are going the distance. That one never looked like it but it was still huge.


The Seahawks cannot handle the 49ers' pressure. Taking out the punter? OK, that one's grounding.


They're gonna kick this? OK. That was disjointed. Now they're going for it? You can't ask for more than that. Free play and a touchdown!


Harbaugh is SOUR. Delay of game on San Francisco? That took longer than it normally does. FUMBLE! The Niners were due to lose one, too. Who's got this now? What all happened? Kearse didn't reach the end zone, Bowman has the ball on the replay, then gets hurt, and... loses it at some point? It's not reviewable because it was ruled that the Seahawks recovered. Oh man. And Pereira just said that who recovered it isn't reviewable, just whether it was a fumble or not. Oh, Bowman was down before he lost it? Wow. And now he's hurt? Oh God, his leg.


Now the Seahawks are going for it. FUMBLE! Well that worked out, I guess? I don't know. I tend to think not.




Kaepernick never should have thrown that pass. Just run straight ahead, Tate. Jebus. You've got the lead; you don't need to stop the clock. Converting that first down would have been preferable.


That wouldn't have worked anyway. How much time is left? Gore! Gotta play the man there, not the ball. Hey, a Vernon Davis sighting. Seahawks need to crank it up here. Tipped... INTERCEPTION! And there's where you play the ball. You KNOW Sherman loved doing that.









And we've got ourselves an old-school AFC West throwdown. See you in the urban jungle. (Seahawks 23, 49ers 17)