Showing posts with label Tom Brady. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tom Brady. Show all posts

Sunday, February 2, 2014

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth: A Ticket Punchers' Chance

I have to think that the move to change the start times of these games to 3 and 6:30 Eastern was, at least in part, for this very set of circumstances. You have to CATCH the snap, Peyton. That's better. That's two three-and-outs by the Patriots already.


I know I keep saying this but who are these jabronis Brady's throwing to? Uh-oh. Manning hit his groove. That's not pass interference? Way to not answer Nantz's question, Simms. It was kind of important.


Hey, a completion! That Ridley run was only the third that's been called so far. That still doesn't answer the question, Phil. Well, there it is, and it's by a guy who will never get the ball thrown to him again. Gotta call holding sometime.


Did the Broncos just give a backup tight end the ball on a RUNNING play? The Broncos have split Patriots defenders a few times already on this drive. Just finding holes and slipping through them. Did Peyton just say "Batman?" (Turns out it was "Fat man.") Moreno! DON'T FEED THE MACHINE, CBS GRAPHICS DEPARTMENT.


The Broncos won't risk a sneak here. Jebus, Peyton had at least three targets to choose from. Belichick going with the cap? Huh. Neither quarterback has faced any real pressure so far. Peyton is threading some needles on this two-minute drive. Why is Bon Jovi in Kraft's suite? That should have had a more successful ending. Wait, Peyton's 10 for his last 10? I  might have gone for it before the half if I'd known that. We're already talking about defensive fatigue, Simms? Though it should be noted that the Broncos got the ball to start the third quarter. Ball just plowed through the defense on that 3rd down run. Touchdown. Brady's all "I'm gonna have to do this myself again, aren't I?" The Patriots need this drive, and they probably need a touchdown. Everyone called time out there, apparently. The Patriots are still going for this. Aaaand that didn't work out so well. Knighton's been beating down fools all game and just got rewarded.


Julius Thomas just worked whoever was trying to cover him. Man, a touchdown would have ended it for sure. Although as badly as the Patriots are playing offensively, it might not matter. I mean, I didn't think they'd be able to score enough points but this is ridiculous.


How did Brady complete that? He was going down and lobbed it up there — I thought it had a better chance of getting intercepted. They needed that conversion. The overthrow followed by the touchdown to Edelman only underscores how not good Brady's been today. That's a big pickup from Peyton to Julius. But the one where he missed Demariyus could have ended it. Still, though. Uh-oh, Brady's doing that surgical thing. The Broncos are sitting back and the Patriots are killing them with underneath stuff. Brady could run for this. And he does! How do you fail to tackle Tom Brady, of all people? Just stand him up and wrap up. Not. Even. Close.


And that failed onside kick will put a wrap on this. Tamme! And that IS that. Hey, an Eli and Archie sighting! Also, John Fox's Revenge. (Broncos 26, Patriots 16)

Joe is PUMPED. Dr. Dre here to support his Beats clients. Stealing the "Crank It Up" box? The NASCAR people are gonna be PISSED. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL.


Giving up only three isn't the greatest thing here. Lynch got stuffed. That wasn't close either. That's why the fair catch signal was invented. You can't take that hit under any circumstances. Not sure how Reid didn't intercept that. It went off his hands! Kaepernick's running like he's playing the Packers. This is... I don't think he made it. Good thing these get reviewed. Nope. So what do the 49ers do? Run it back, that's what.
Wilson's getting chased all over this field.


Baldwin!! That may have been the miracle Greeny just referenced. The Seahawks are down enough receivers as it is — they better hope Baldwin's okay.


I don't like anything about this call. Not the call itself or the fact that the 49ers benefit from it.


Somehow, LaMichael James is back on this kickoff.


Whoa, Gore almost put that on the ground. Lynch is starting to find some holes. Like THAT one. That was the longest delay for an obvious touchdown ever.


I would have edited Cam's Play 60 commercial completely differently. They cut the best parts! Nice grab by Crabtree. Fumble! And the 49ers get lucky that their center ends up with it.


SO MUCH going on with that touchdown. First, Kaepernick was off the ground when he threw it. How did Earl Thomas not knock that down? Also, great concentration by Boldin there. Then Baldwin comes right back with a big kickoff return. The ones that are going the distance you can tell are going the distance. That one never looked like it but it was still huge.


The Seahawks cannot handle the 49ers' pressure. Taking out the punter? OK, that one's grounding.


They're gonna kick this? OK. That was disjointed. Now they're going for it? You can't ask for more than that. Free play and a touchdown!


Harbaugh is SOUR. Delay of game on San Francisco? That took longer than it normally does. FUMBLE! The Niners were due to lose one, too. Who's got this now? What all happened? Kearse didn't reach the end zone, Bowman has the ball on the replay, then gets hurt, and... loses it at some point? It's not reviewable because it was ruled that the Seahawks recovered. Oh man. And Pereira just said that who recovered it isn't reviewable, just whether it was a fumble or not. Oh, Bowman was down before he lost it? Wow. And now he's hurt? Oh God, his leg.


Now the Seahawks are going for it. FUMBLE! Well that worked out, I guess? I don't know. I tend to think not.




Kaepernick never should have thrown that pass. Just run straight ahead, Tate. Jebus. You've got the lead; you don't need to stop the clock. Converting that first down would have been preferable.


That wouldn't have worked anyway. How much time is left? Gore! Gotta play the man there, not the ball. Hey, a Vernon Davis sighting. Seahawks need to crank it up here. Tipped... INTERCEPTION! And there's where you play the ball. You KNOW Sherman loved doing that.









And we've got ourselves an old-school AFC West throwdown. See you in the urban jungle. (Seahawks 23, 49ers 17)

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Friday, November 29, 2013

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 11: Out In the Wash

Man, the Colts start things as effectively as I do. How are you gonna let Ryan Fitzpatrick do you like that? Did dude just headbutt the guy whose helmet got knocked off? He's getting thrown out, right? He's not? Seriously? The thing is, the Trent Richardson trade wasn't supposed to make Donald Brown the Colts' best running back. The Titans' special teams have been rather sad at the most inopportune times tonight. Like that onside kick, for instance. Giddyup. (Colts 30, Titans 27)

Signal Finder: WAS @ PHI, SD @ MIA, DET @ PIT (end), GB @ NYG



Everything went wrong on that long ball to Cooper. This is why you don't lead with your helmet. Well that amounted to nothing. Whoa, Griffin actually slid. They're saying he accidentally caught Chung in the mouth when he slid. How does that even happen? What does John Lynch know about Jamel Holoway? Eagles have been mostly running free so far against this defense. McCoy! Ryan Kerrigan's good but he can't cover him. Foles with a spin move?


A screen to the tight end? Who does that? This'll probably be ruled down at the 2 or so but Celek ran through about six guys. You dream of holes that big when you're one yard out. THAT is how you tackle someone. The entire Redskins defense should be taking notes. Now Griffin's gone into, "Well, looks like I'll have to do this all myself" mode. He's doing some good things on this drive. That's not one of them. Couple bad penalties to start, though I'm sure Meriwether did something to deserve being yapped at. This Eagles offense is good and this Redskins defense is bad. Ouch. Fletcher just crushed Foles. Oh THAT'S not good. Well, they got three out of it. This... isn't a fumble. Or at least it shouldn't be. Hey, another sack by Cole! Also holding, which is just funny. Oh good, Shady's back. Refs missed a facemask on Jackson (who Peters committed his on) plus Kerrigan was offside. Still, Eagles have been getting open all day. That drive took 5:19? That's an eternity. Why are the Redskins running the ball down 24-0? Someone pulled 2008 Trent Cole into the future. Good job by Erin Andrews here calling on her familiarity with Chip to talk about his philosophy. Things are slowing down now. How does the fullback get that open? And Cole and Chung banged helmets. This game feels like it should be closer to ending than it actually is. Why are the Redskins letting the play clock run down? And they're running the ball too? Really? WHAT. That looked like it was covered and the receiver came back and got it.


Foles is short. Kick this. That's a big-time punt. This returner doesn't have much confidence to let it go like that. Big third-down catch by Moss. Get your hand off his face mask. I think it's telling that every time I see Cary Williams involved in some weirdness down the field, I assume he's responsible for something bad happening when it probably hasn't been all his fault all the time. Carmichael slipped for a moment on that 3rd down pass to Moss. No! Wait, where was there even a hold? This is becoming ridiculous. BRANDON BOYKIN HAS SAVED US ALL. That was WAY too close. (Eagles 24, Redskins 16)

I'm Sorry You Had To See That:




And the way things have gone for these two teams, I'm not sure the game would have been much better under non-life-threatening conditions. (Bears 23, Ravens 20, OT)

How do you let Stafford get a first down running? The Lions needed this game. Good win for the Steelers but I fear it's too late. (Steelers 37, Lions 27)

Meanwhile, everyone in Miami's throwing interceptions. It seems like the Dolphins host a lot of 4 o'clock games that aren't part of doubleheader Sundays. Can't let Gates run free down at the goal line. Yeah, that's roughing. Two full steps AFTER the ball's gone? The good thing for the Dolphins is it negated a terrible fumble by Hartline at about the 1. Thomas went airborne to score there. You don't see that much anymore. Both teams need to win this game but neither one seems to want to. This will come back because I'm pretty sure Rivers was past the line of scrimmage. Yeah, that wasn't close. Where'd the Dolphins find this Clay guy? Really useful player. That pocket just fell apart on Rivers. Also, no one was open. I almost think they should try a field goal here, or maybe even run a fake.  Dolphins called time out for no apparent reason after Rivers spiked it. The second one made sense because you gotta have 11 men out there. KNOCK IT DOWN! SOMEBODY DID FOR ONCE. PRAISE BE. (Dolphins 20, Chargers 16)


That's not good punt coverage. This has been the Giants' best drive in about a month. The Packers' pass defense looks like the Redskins'. Now Eli's throwing up some high balls. I see Clay Matthews is club-less this week. Whoa. Let's not forget, though: Tolzien moved the ball against the Eagles last week but the Packers missed two field goals and threw an interception in the end zone. The other thing that's cost Hakeem Nicks money this season is Reuben Randle's emergence.


Nice diving pick by Williams to end this Giants drive. Jon Beason had basically lost his job in Carolina and that's why he was available in the first place — he's helped them solely by being their first mostly competent linebacker since Antonio Pierce. Holy hell Mason Crosby. Where'd he pull that from? Not sure where Tolzien was going with that pass that Beason intercepted.
The Packers just ran a fake punt that almost worked. This is like the Foles run that came up just short.


Brandon Jacobs still being a viable NFL player in 2013 concerns me. Oh, look, the Giants got beaten deep again. And Lacy puts the Packers right back in this game. WHAT JUST HAPPENED. That was like the interception version of the Clowney hit against Michigan. Don't like the Packers punting here. And that Rolle pick will end it. Don't look now, but... oh, let's not kid ourselves. Don't actually look now. Stop with these delusions. (Giants 27, Packers 13)


What's hilarious to me is everyone complaining about the call when Brees got clotheslined (which was borderline at full speed) when it was Sproles getting run over on the fair catch that actually decided this game. (Saints 23, 49ers 20)

Did we ever get a halfway decent explanation as to why Kubiak pulled Keenum that wasn't either "he's trying to get fired" or "he's shaving points"? And about the Schaub-Johnson dust-up: Schaub made a bad throw into traffic and Johnson short-armed it. So they're both to blame. (Raiders 28, Texans 23)

This Week It Sucks To Be: 1. Roy Ellison; 2. Clete Blakeman; 3. Tony Corrente.

"Just a Job To Do" by Genesis? Solid deep cut.



PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Quentin Jammer's on the Broncos? When did this happen? Bowe had to turn around for that one.




Later, Smith tried to hit Bowe on that sideline pattern that Demariyus had already beaten them twice on. The flag gives them another shot and Charles gets loose. Knile Davis is getting a little too much run here for my taste. I'm stunned Andy hasn't called a pass play here. You're not beating the Broncos with field goals, sir. This also allows Peyton to march down the field without a care in the world. Demps just missed a pick-six. Prater missed? That's a bad sack. How do neither McCluster or Charles think to get out of bounds? Defensive holding? Collinsworth just said what I was thinking. But if the Chiefs decline the penalty, wouldn't the half end?

TY sir. Von Miller going down is problematic but as they're showing, Fisher (who hasn't been good this year) has handled him to this point. I'm actually more surprised than I probably should be that we've gone this long without anyone scoring. Hey, a Brad Childress sighting. Spread Game Analyst/Special Projects? What does that even mean? Does the spread game need its own analyst? Is this college?

Andy's mad about something but I think Woodyard was within five yards. Uh-oh, Decker got free. First we've seen of him tonight. And Ball scores again. Oh, that's a rather obvious hold that explains how Smith was able to escape the pocket the second time. Lot of Broncos getting banged up tonight. Wait... what are the Chiefs doing?

And Collinsworth calls that a successful drive. Whatever, man. Reid challenging that would have been some kind of exacta. Seriously, guys? Fox would never go for it here. That said, it almost doesn't matter — the Chiefs aren't scoring 14 points in seven minutes. Feels like they're not moving quickly enough. Is this worth a challenge? APPARENTLY IT IS.


All that and they kicked it deep? I don't agree with that, either. This is a critical spot, and now a critical challenge. And that one goes to the Broncos, and likely so does this game. Wouldn't "touchdown, touchdown" be most preferable? And how did McCluster catch that? (Seriously, every time situations like this come up, the announcers always talk in terms of tying the game instead of winning it. Bugs the crap out of me. Didn't they listen to Herman Edwards?) If I'm the Broncos I don't want that to be an interception. This is what we expected, right?

I mean, not that part, but the rest of it, right? (Broncos 27, Chiefs 17)


This was quite the sequence: Tirico: "...Tom Brady." Patriots: walk out Crowd: "BOOOOOOO!!!!!" Remember a month ago when this matchup looked like an utter disaster? These graphics though. The Shane Vereen Show to start? They're not booing; they're saying "Luuuuuuuke." And that guy is why Jon Beason's now a Giant. Steve Smith! RULES AND REGULATIONS. Gruden having flashbacks was amusing. DO NOT FIGHT STEVE SMITH. Seriously, you knew that was getting ugly when Talib wouldn't let go. CAM IS SPLIT OUT WIDE. Smith's got Talib shook. Hey, Lafell actually caught it! Man, Belichick's doghouse is filling up quick. We're all talking about Ron Rivera pulling himself out of the bottomless pit, but this is easily Mike Shula's (Carolina offensive coordinator) best-ever coaching job. Talib is all kinds of twisted up right now.

Also worth noting: The Panthers start a cornerback whose given name is "Captain." Carry on.

Cam just ran for 25 yards. Hey, there's Gronk. (It's the two minute warning, BTW.) Quintin Mikell's still alive? Apropos of nothing, but I just learned that Michael Bolton is flat broke. Tolbert should never run outside the tackle box but that somehow worked. Talib was about five yards away from Smith on that one. Olson! And the Panthers regain the lead. I guess Ridley got pardoned. And that makes it official. That completion streak almost got broken up in a bad way. Two Rutgers guys defending that pass? I'm honestly surprised the Patriots haven't run the ball more this season — maybe Vereen's injury hampered that somewhat, but that's clearly their strength. And of course they go away from it and Brady throws it to nobody, saving four points for Carolina. (Nobody wants to talk about how Belichick has slipped over the last five years.) On the flip side, the Panthers should probably start going downfield even though they've been searching for a second receiver since Cam got there. It may ultimately have to be Olsen. Olsen and McCourty trying to get the same holding call was  hilarious, and the refs got it right. Damn, Talib's not even on the field?


THE ORIGINAL SPEED STRIKES AGAIN!! These teams have been here before. And Brady finds Gronk on fourth down. Unbelievable. Not over yet. That one was off Vereen's hands but Kuechly was right there. Oh, that was his hand they were showing earlier. Two chances here for the Patriots. Now one. OK, I don't know how they got that sideline route SO quickly. Still one more chance. INTER- oh, no. No, not... NO FOUL?! Brady's pissed. And why is this ref letting Ryan Mallett give him lip? He should eject him on general principle. Hey, ESPN's actually using Gerry Austin! They ruled it uncatchable. How, exactly? And now we're seeing why ESPN doesn't use Gerry Austin — he couldn't be more wrong about this.


(Panthers 24, Patriots 20)

RANKINGS:
TOP 4:
1. Denver (9-1) — Now we're learning things
2. Seattle (10-1) — Powering up for the stretch run
3. Kansas City (9-1) — Had their chances
4. New Orleans (8-2) — Sliding back into the picture


BOTTOM 4:
29. Houston (2-8) — It's all fallen apart
30. Minnesota (2-8) — I am Percy Harvin's spiteful revenge
31. Tampa Bay (2-8) — Didn't see that demolition coming
32. Jacksonville (1-9) — Back to normal

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Monday, January 21, 2008

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth: Limo Wreck

Rivers is playing? That stuns me. So much for LDT. You know, with all the talk about how cold it's gonna be in Green Bay, this ain't exactly Cancun up in here. The pass Jammer picked off looked like what happens when a clay pigeon launcher malfunctions. I like Turner and Sproles but they're just not getting it done here. That may have been the weirdest-developing reverse I've ever seen. When did Vincent Jackson stop sucking? BANG! What sometimes goes underappreciated (somewhat by design) about the Patriots' offense is how well they hide guys in their four- and five-receiver sets. I want to know what the studio guys are looking at (besides the two INTs in two minutes, which happens all the time to better quarterbacks than Rivers) that they're so adamant Rivers needs to come out. I think Sam Ryan's actually getting a cold as she delivers this report from Lambeau. She sounds awful. Man, these Chargers goal-line situations look so familiar to us Eagles fans. On both sides. Is Gates playing? Because if he is, you wouldn't know it - he hasn't been a factor at all. What the heck, Tom? DON'T RUN IT OUT WHAT THE... I mean, I get the excitement of the moment and all that. But you've got to pay attention and recognize where you are. You're not gonna beat these guys with field goals. It must be bad if Tomlinson's still on the bench. Wes Welker! Well, this game's over. Man, the Chargers never got the ball back after that. And this is why New England's going 19-0 - 'cause they'll beat you however they feel like it. If they want to drop 40 on you, they'll do it. Passing game not working? They'll run Maroney and Faulk for three touchdowns and hold you to four field goals. (Patriots 21, Chargers 12)

Don't they heat the TV booth? Seriously, that's obscene. Careful, Koren. You don't think of Driver as a speed merchant. I'm wondering how Wilson didn't make a play on him - he had a good angle but he just didn't get there for some reason. Seriously, what is with Plaxico having big games in the playoffs? Steelers fans everywhere are seething. Grant just can't get going. And now the Packers are shooting themselves in the foot with penalties on top of penalties. Did Jacobs just do a Lambeau Leap fakeout? You can get smacked with a frozen bratwurst for that. (I've never actually tried bratwurst. Anyone?) Nice kickoff return by Williams. I'm not sure what Madison did but complaining to Strahan after the Packers score isn't going to help his case. Also there's been a Vernand Morency sighting, which sort of makes you wonder. GUNSLINGER. Holy crap, what a break. If the Packers pull this out, that'll be the play of the game. How is McQuarters still employed? I again find it interesting that Bradshaw's getting all the run at this point in the game. Tynes missed? That's not all that surprising. The Giants have been all over that screen play all night - maybe stop using it? Maybe the Packers punter'll retire. What was THAT? And again, how is McQuarters still employed? You know who I haven't mentioned at all who's been coming up pretty big is Steve Smith The Younger. High snap! He missed AGAIN! And Buck said right before that that the Giants had a rookie replacing their injured regular long snapper. Bad throw, Brett. This isn't a lock. If he misses, it's the Jay Feely/Seahawks game again. Wow. Didn't see that one coming. Johnny just reminded me of something. Two weeks of Boston vs. New York. WTF, seriously. (Giants 23, Packers 20, OT)

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Monday, January 14, 2008

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth: Weather and Travel Advisories

PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. What, again? Are you kidding me? And that was effectively back-to-back plays. The Packers are in trouble. I'm happy that I ended up being right about Jennings. I think the Seahawks just got hit by lightning. Thanks for your contribution, Deion Branch. Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand fast. And the Packers can't be stopped, either. "Oh, here you go." "Oh, thanks, Brett." The Seahawks' receivers have the dropsies back. Seriously, this is a beatdown. We can't even see the yard lines anymore. I enjoyed Fox abandoning the overhead camera near the end of the third quarter, though I am wondering how they kept the yellow line working. Nice field view comparison shots "This was the opening kickoff." It is really coming down. Good for Grant. Hey, a Brandon Jackson sighting! Everyone's forgotten he was the starter at the beginning of the season and he sucked. I think I saw the Packers' punt return gunners building a snow fort with the Gatorade coolers on the sideline. (Packers 42, Seahawks 20)

See, here's the thing: Yeah, it was nice that the Jaguars were able to eat up some time and keep the Patriots' offense off the field for that opening touchdown drive. The Pats only need one play to tie it up. (Also, we all thought Garrard's knee was down.) And you can't turn the ball over. You just can't. Brady hasn't missed yet? Really? Taylor and Jones-Drew haven't done all that much so far. I feel like the Jags' receivers have been playing over their heads for the past month. Whoa. This kid's no Vinatieri, I'll tell you that much. Wait, what? Was that the Statue of Liberty? And here's the other side of what I was saying earlier: the Jags can't score that quickly. Like right there. Jones has to catch that. Intercepted! Seriously, 26 of 28, one was dropped, the other one went off Watson's fingertips, and Moss might as well have not even shown up. Who's beating these guys? I ask you. Even funnier was Reggie Nelson doing his best Anthony Smith impression after the fact. (Patriots 31, Jaguars 20)

Welcome back, Marvin! Or not. Rust, obviously. So have the Colts adopted the Seahawks' strategy of not running the ball ever? Gates is playing? Huh. Oh, that's never good and I don't
care how good Michael Turner is, there's gonna be a drop-off. Norv is furious. Blood pressure! There were two holds on Cromartie's return - the Weddle one wasn't the one that got called. See, you go get a Chris Chambers when he's better than everyone else you have. Notice the Colts have come out and run the ball more to start the second half. The hell? Was that a busted play or something? The Colts' red-zone offense today looks like the Eagles'. Or the Redskins'. Pass interference? Where? Blood pressure, Norv! Wayne did... not step out of bounds. There goes Sproles. Nice move. We got a game here, people. Now Rivers is hurt? There's no way. Gonzalez did... not step out of bounds. I forgot this was where Volek ended up. I'd say Rivers is lucky he's not doing that in Oakland but they're so beaten down out there he might get away with it. TOUCHDOWN VOLEK. Sing the song? Not yet... it's not like Peyton hasn't done this before. Who's your hot? "Clark." I don't like throwing on second and goal there. Seems like a lot of Peyton's passes have been high today. That's a clutch punt. But you're giving Peyton another shot... but Wayne's on the sideline hurt. Is no one open? Holy crap. What's gonna get lost in this is that the Colts' vaunted defense got absolutely shredded. Ladies and gentlemen, your Super Bowl XLII champions: the New England Patriots. You think I'm kidding? (Chargers 28, Colts 24)

Seriously, somebody wash my face with liquid nitrogen. How have these teams never met in the playoffs before? Nice tackling on the Toomer touchdown. Oh, look, the Cowboys' running game is back. Barber's starting? Interesting. Also of note is that Bradshaw's getting more run than Jacobs. This drive's taking forever. Twenty plays? Is that even possible? Then Eli - of all people - leads a drive to tie it up in less time than it took to huddle up. I'm honestly surprised it took this long to get to Romo's run for the border. Bahahahaha. "Who he was with." They interviewed Witten before the game, for crying out loud. Damn, Brandon. What'd the play clock ever do to you? Well that came right out of the Book of Favre. And there's yesterday's highlight right on cue. Romo probably could have run for that. This game hasn't been all that great, to be honest. Bad pass at the end. That's a pretty ignominious exit for the 'Boys... but don't let the door hit you on the way out. Ladies and gentlemen, your Super Bowl XLII champions: the New England Patriots. You think I'm kidding? (Giants 21, Cowboys 17)

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