Showing posts with label Philadelphia Eagles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Philadelphia Eagles. Show all posts

Friday, September 21, 2018

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 2: Down To The Ground

Wait, the main FOX crew's doing the NFL Network games too? Jeez. Talk about slumming it. Man, the Ravens completely overhauled their wide receivers. All three guys are new. Green can't handle that one. Both teams exchange punts, with the Ravens fumbling their return but getting it back. Flacco IMMEDIATELY gets intercepted. Pass into the end zone gets deflected and... intercepted? Incomplete. Referees discuss it and change it to an interception by Weddle. Now they can review it and this is getting overturned — Weddle's left foot was out of bounds. It's overturned. The Ravens' C.J. Mosley being carted off. Ravens get called for DPI in the end zone. Dalton rolls out and finds Green for the touchdown. Lamar Jackson in at receiver, and Flacco goes to Crabtree for a first down. Is this intentional grounding? Refs say Flacco's forward progress was stopped before his throw, so it's a sack. Buck seems skeptical of that reasoning.







Dalton finds Green in traffic,and Green gets out of traffic and scores after breaking a tackle. 14-0 Bengals. Bengals driving AGAIN. Penalty on 3rd and 13 keeps the drive going. Green AGAIN!! And it's not like the Ravens aren't covering him. He's just been that good.





The Bengals have scored 45 straight points going back to Sunday. Jackson back in, this time at quarterback, but Sam Hubbard just blew up whatever the Ravens may have been planning there. John Brown makes a big catch in traffic (he's not as large as Green) for a 45-yard gain. Pass interference in the end zone gives the Ravens the ball at the 1. Buck Allen scores. Apparently Collinsworth trolled Aikman by telling him he'd be relaxing at home watching this game tonight. Dalton finds Tyler Boyd down the sideline for 21. Boyd again on third down. And this time it's Boyd for the touchdown. Ravens in four-down territory at the 2-minute warning. THE FIRST ONE. Ravens hold and the Bengals have to punt. Flacco airmails it for Brown, but Dre Kirkpatrick bumps him slightly (Incidental contact; no reason to throw a flag) and drops an interception. Then he gets flagged for pass interference and it's Ravens ball at the 1. Alex Collins gets stuffed on first down. This time Crabtree pushes off Kirkpatrick, but the Bengals called time out, so the play doesn't count. FINALLY Flacco finds rookie TE Mark Andrews for a touchdown.




Justin Tucker from 55 and the touchdown run is snapped. 28-17 Bengals. Another interception from Flacco. Things have slowed down considerably. Ravens pick up 3rd and 1 on a Flacco sneak. Touchdown John Brown! Bengals want a penalty but won't get it. Two-point conversion fails but it's still a five-point game with 9:35 left. Actually, Collinsworth is here, as the Bengals honored the 1988 Super Bowl team. Mixon back for the Bengals. First down after a penalty after an incompletion on 3rd and 2. Bengals can't make 3rd and 15, but they're at the Ravens' 11 for what should be an easy field goal. It's good, and it's 31-23. Flacco rolls out... that is a fumble. Bengals take over. Field goal makes it 34-23. 48 seconds left — the Ravens should spike it and kick the field goal right now. They spike it, but they keep running plays. Harbaugh has botched this and they won't get the ball back.  Hey, this score looks familiar. (Bengals 34, Ravens 23)

Signal Finder: KC @ PIT, PHI @ TB, MIN @ GB (end), NE @ JAX, OAK @ DEN (end)

The Chiefs force a three-and-out, so the Steelers punt it short of Tyreek Hill. But DeAnthony Thomas IS there, and he returns it for 31 yards, and then 12 more after he bobbled the ball. Travis Kelce dinged for OPI. Mahomes with a bullet to Chris Conley for the touchdown. Hey, it's Sammy Watkins. Hey, there he is again. Touchdown Kelce! Steelers driving finally. Third down pass is too high and Boswell MISSES from 49. Now an end around to Watkins, who's given them some big plays already. Mahomes to Hill for a touchdown!




21-0 and they're booing softly in Pittsburgh. Sack/fumble/Chiefs touchdown is negated by defensive holding on Orlando Scandrick, who, remarkably, is still in the league. Ben finds Juju. Steelers clicking again. Ben throws up a lob and Road Dogg catches it for a touchdown. Steelers driving again. Screen to Juju to the outside gives them first and goal. Too high for James. Juju in the corner for the touchdown. Missed extra point.




The Chiefs' offense has ground to a halt. That's kind of a ridiculous over-the-shoulder catch by James. Conner tries his best OBJ impression but lands out of bounds, but there was pass interference. Touchdown Steelers! Two-point conversion succeeds and we're tied. 21-21 at halftime. Second half starts similarly to the first — with a big play. This time it's Mahomes to Hill for 36. Mahomes to Kelce for the touchdown. Juju's just gonna run away from linebackers, guys. Is that an honest-to-goodness fullback? This is close. It's called a touchdown and I think it'll stand. Yep. Put it on the board for Conner. We're tied again. That hair is terrible. The Steelers cannot tackle Travis Kelce.




Touchdown Chiefs. Incomplete, they now say. Nah, that's a catch. Throw the flag, Andy. Call reversed. Touchdown. Mahomes just missed Watkins. The doctor gets flagged for illegal use of hands. Concerning. Hill! SIX. TOUCHDOWN. PASSES.




A safety breaks up the monotony. Chiefs fumble! Steelers have it! Big gain by James. Great pass breakup by new Chief Kendall Fuller, keeping Brown out of the end zone. Roethlisberger takes off and... SCORES? Yes! Extra point is good. Chiefs running clock successfully. Steelers force a punt on 4th and 6... and run into the punter. (Chiefs 42, Steelers 37)

It is HOT. SON OF A GOD DAMN BITCH.




I fucking hate him. I always have. Eagles follow up with a three-and-out on offense. That's a good punt. Ryan Fitzpatrick protects the football? What?? 43-yard punt return by Clement nullified by a penalty. Ajayi out with a back injury. Two straight first downs for the Eagles. Then two straight penalties, and three on the last four plays. 2nd and 40! That ended how you imagine it did. Now the Bucs face a 3rd and 21, and that also ended how you imagine it did. Foles scrambles for a first down. Foles loses the ball, and it's ruled a fumble and the Bucs recover. That's close, but I think it stands. Confirmed. Well then. The Eagles get it back two plays later off of a deflection! JPP with the sack. Punt lands right on the goal line. Mike Evans with a straight-up drop. The Bucs haven't done much offensively since that first play. Ertz with a first down catch. Pass interference on Chris Conte, who is bad. Josh Perkins gets a catch? Feels like the Eagles are throwing too much on this drive. Agholor gets spun around and comes up short on 3rd and 7, it looks like. Length of the football. Pederson's going for it. Foles sneak gets it. Ertz was open on that first-down breakdown. Touchdown Clement! O.J. Howard for a 75-yard touchdown!




He caught six passes in his entire career at Alabama, only in bowl games, and they were ALL like this. (I'm exaggerating. Sort of.) He got help from a great block by Chris Godwin on Jenkins. Extra point is MISSED. Bucs actually driving this time. Eagles forget to cover Godwin and he's wide open for a touchdown. 20-7. Foles finds Ertz down the sideline. Elliott CLANGS from 42. Nothing going right. Ajayi back out to start the second half. Ertz has to come back to his and he's short. Pederson going for it on 4th and 4 from the Tampa 49. Doesn't work. DeSean with a catch inside the 10. Cox walks off. Fitzpatrick finds Evans in the back of the end zone. I know FitzMagic has never been sustainable but is there a chance Jameis Winston doesn't get his job back in two weeks? This is his sixth start against the Eagles,and for his sixth team. He started the Eagles-Bengals tie? Wild.
Big pass play to Agholor. Conte's replacement stops Agholor on a reverse. Fourth and 1 from the Bucs' 5. Foles sneak again works. Touchdown Ajayi. Jenkins strips the ball from Evans and the Eagles have it. Clement takes a shot while laying out for that 4th down pass and he's slow to get up.




Agholor's gotta call for a fair catch there. Was that a catch? Eh, no matter, DPI gives the Eagles a first down. Eagles are going for it on 4th because they ran Ajayi on third. Crazy catch by Agholor in the back corner of the end zone for the touchdown, and then he hurdles a cameraman afterwards. Do you onside kick here? They do not. Hmmm. DeSean beats Mills again, and that might be it. Pitchy pitchy woo woo fails as always. Just a bad loss all around. (Buccaneers 27, Eagles 21)

Someone hit Cam and actually got flagged for it? It's a new age. (Falcons 31, Panthers 24)




WOW! Taylor put just enough on that ball and put it in just the right place for Callaway. That looked like a sure overthrow.


So. Browns. And we're in the Superdome, so you can guess how it went from here. (Saints 21, Browns 18)




Oh, no, bad Mason Crosby. Packers going to overtime because of some BS. Cook with a big run. Replay of the hit in question. Yeah, I get the rule, but that wasn't what happened there. New Vikings rookie kicker Daniel Carlson from 49. Not even CLOSE. Packers forced to punt. Thielen! Vikings grinding clock. Carlson on again. ARE YOU SERIOUS.








That's a terrible loss for the Packers. Also a Scorigami but you probably figured that. (Vikings 29, Packers 29, OT)

Wait, Donte Moncrief's on the Jaguars now? He just caught a touchdown pass. KEENAN COLE THOUGH. That's the OBJ catch but over the opposite shoulder. Corey Grant making people miss. Touchdown Cole! Eric Rowe beaten both times. 14-0. Keep putting the pressure on. Everyone on the Patriots' sideline is angry. Slow going for the Pats' offense. Hey, there's rookie Sony Michel. That's helmet-to-helmet, yeah. Field goal is good. Bortles again. Touchdown Jags! 21-3 at halftime.




Bortles to Cole for 14. Nantz points out that this is happening despite no Fournette and losing their left tackle early in the game. Cole remains uncovered. BORTLES SCRAMBLE. That elusiveness. First and goal! Somehow Bortles is third-all time in yards per rush by a quarterback, behind Vick and Bobby Douglass. There'll be no touchdown on this drive.




Gronk's been silenced. 2 catches, 8 yards? Brady overthrows Philip Dorsett, who's bad. Rookie D.J. Chark gets the ball knocked out and the Pats recover. Uh-oh.




Michel bulls through the line. Brady to Hogan for the touchdown. Jaguars can't answer. James White with a big run. Cordarrelle Patterson's on the Patriots? He just fell down after catching a pass on 3rd and 4. Field goal is good.




Bortles throws an interception off Austin Seferian-Jenkins, who's had more than his share of bad luck against the Patriots. Pats ball at the Jacksonville 25. FUMBLE. Jaguars ball! Dante Fowler does his best Brandon Graham impression. Bortles collides with Stephon Gilmore and is stopped short on 3rd and 5. Go for it, Jaguars. FALSE START. Christ. Now they gotta punt. Jags challenging the spot. This seems close... could this actually work? Overturned and short. Fourth down and the Patriots punt.




Jags jumped offsides but nobody saw it. Dede Westbrook? DEDE WESTBROOK! TOUCHDOWN! Hey, Philip Dorsett actually caught a pass. Patterson again. Touchdown to Hogan. Patriots kick it off short. Niles Paul? Really? I don't know if the Pats' defense is still that bad but Bortles has been legitimately great. The Patriots aren't gonna get the ball back, are they? NOPE. Lessons learned. Feels like the Patriots have had an early-season flop the lat few years. This lessens the pain. (Jaguars 31, Patriots 20)

In his last three games, Matt Patricia-coached defenses have given up 119 points to Nick Foles, Sam Darnold, and Jimmy Garoppolo. (49ers 30, Lions 27)

Get out of bounds, kid! That was dicey. McManus in. Kickers haven't had the best day today. It's GOOD! (Broncos 20, Raiders 19)

TAVON AUSTIN. Glad somebody finally got something out of him after five years.




I mean, yeah. That's why you make that mistake. Big run by Elliott. Austin again.




Now Dak with a run and the Cowboys have found some meat on that left side. Drive stalls, but the field goal is good this week. My answer to last week question of "Do the Giants even have four good linebackers" is probably "no" on first glance. TACO. That was an... interesting way to field that punt. What are the Giants doing? At least they went for it that time. Dak finds Terrence Williams. That didn't last long. The Giants still can't protect Eli. Another punt. Cowboys have controlled this game but they haven't done much since the first two drives. Meanwhile, the Giants can't do anything at all.




And the Giants start the second half by letting Eli get sacked and fumble. Poor tackling by the Giants leads to a first down. No idea what Dak was trying to do there. That ball's never landing inbounds. Cowboys settle for three. Eli throws over a double-covered Beckham and it still almost gets picked. He then finds Cody Latimer (?) for a big gain into Cowboys territory.




Someone's down for the Giants. Is that a leg brace or an air cast? Whatever it is, it looks bad. Cart's out. Eli overthrows Sterling Shepard. Eli tries to run and gets wrecked by Jaylon Smith. Kicker is out. Field goal is good. Beckham out to return this punt. Eli sacked again. That's, what, six? Prescott picks up a first down on a fourth-down sneak. Elliott gets to the second level. Cowboys in the red zone. Elliott appears to get stuffed on 3rd and 2, then cuts left to get the first down, then scores. We're done here. Can we get a Sean Lee update? Oh, their top draft pick is in. Eli finds an uncovered Engram for a touchdown that likely won't amount to much. Giants recover the onside kick? OK then. Beckham was going to get creamed either way on that ball into the end zone. Giants should have kicked the field goal by now. They're botching this the same way the Ravens did on Thursday night.




They do with 14 seconds left, and now Sean Lee's back out with the hands team for some reason. This was a fast game. It's not even 11:30. Kudos to all involved for that, at least. (Cowboys 20, Giants 13)

Russ almost fumbles that away but is ruled down. The Seahawks haven't scored on their opening drive in almost two seasons (31 games).




Trubisky SCRAMBLING. Breaking tackles, even. Trubisky sidearms a laser just past new Seahawk Mychal Kendricks to Jordan Howard, who takes off for 17 yards. Shovel pass to Burton for the touchdown.




Wilson not making optimal decisions, such as throwing to a double-covered tight end. TARIK COHEN PUNT RETURN. Not to the house, but he does get to the 40. That looks like a first down, but I'm not sure. They measure and it's about a yard short. The Bears go for it and Howard picks it up. Trubisky makes a bad read on an option and the Seahawks snuff it. Wilson was lucky he wasn't sacked in the end zone there. Trubisky underthrows Robinson and it's picked by Shaquill Griffin (the older of the Griffin twins and has also been in the league longer). Seahawks still can't get the ball moving. Tipped and picked AGAIN By Shaquill! Looks like Kendricks tipped it. DOWN AND DISTANCE TRACKER: RIGHT side. Um, block Khalil Mack, Seahawks. Um, BLOCK KHALIL MACK, SEAHAWKS. It's like 4th and 56 now. (26. Apples and oranges.)




Bad snap, bad punt. This game may end 7-0. Trubisky finds Cohen downfield after the play breaks down. Robinson stretches and converts 3rd and 5. Urlacher in the house! He's getting his Hall of Fame ring tonight. Direct snap to Burton? Are these the Chicago Bears? Field goal is good. Trevathan with a sack and that's five this half. Wilson saves this drive with a scramble. Are they bringing on Seabass here? Yep. They look like basketball shorts on him. Janikowski from 56. Easy as pie. 10-3 Bears at the half. Kendricks with a sack for the Seahawks.




DOWN AND DISTANCE TRACKER: LEFT side. Carroll calls time out to figure out this third down call. Pressure breaks down the Seattle offensive line (again) (shocker) and a swing pass to Mike Davis comes up short. Is Eddie Lacy still in the league? Seahawks punt. Bears aren't doing a great job of getting Taylor Gabriel in space — his speed is nullified when he's in traffic like that. Like that. That's better. They're doing a lot of this on this drive. Trubisky rolls left and hits Anthony Miller for the touchdown. Wilson somehow finds Tyler Lockett on 3rd and 14. Was he down? Yeah, his knee's down. No fumble. The Seahawks' offensive line also cannot block anyone. Amukamara gets hit with illegal contact. Did Lockett CATCH that? Touchdown! A dropkick kickoff? Really? I mean, it worked. WOW. Amukamara just picked the Seahawks' pocket. 24-10 Bears and that might be the ball game. Seahawks pick up a first down and now need to speed up. Fumble! Bears ball! THAT'S game.




I don't think Wilson ever saw Trevathan. So what's the issue on this punt? Bears touched it first so it's just a touchback, right? Nope, Seahawks ball at the 1. ESPN replaced Gerry Austin with JEFF TRIPLETTE? That's actually a downgrade. Seahawks running out of time. Touchdown with 14 seconds left. Dropkick ONSIDE kick. Yeah, that ain't happening. (Bears 24, Seahawks 17)


Saturday, November 8, 2014

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 9: Shift Left

So no one's going to score from the opponent's territory? Got it. Brees just fumbled off his own dude. Then the refs are looking for the ball and the Carolina guy's sitting there holding it up. I feel like Kelvin Benjamin's been a top-3 rookie this season. Maybe it's just because I've seen him so much already.



Feel free to lose the CBS portion of your graphics, NFL Network — that little dance ended last week. Dangerous throw by Newton. Still nothing. That was just a straight run by Newton. Why is that guy out on a pass pattern? It went right off his hands. I guess he's not used to having the ball come straight at him. Ben Watson's still alive? Cam almost threw another pick.




Hey, Jerry Richardson playing footage. Another fumble? Of course, now Cam's got it but they call it Saints ball. Yeah, there it is on the third replay — Curtis Lofton comes in at the very end and grabs it, it looks like. Ingram! Nantz and Simms are spending an awful lot of time on this clock issue that's going to be completely irrelevant. See? Let's look at this. Yeah that's interference. Graham! The Saints are hoping he's back. Cam is painfully inaccurate tonight. For some reason Olsen stopped and didn't put down a block or Cam probably would have scored. So we'll be looking at this, then. Yeah, that'll count. Not this time, Ingram. Or this one, either. Brees got it over. Crowd is MAD. Knee's down. This'll come back. And that ended up being a big reversal.


Graham abused everybody on this drive. I think he's recovered. And Ingram seals it. (Saints 28, Panthers 10)

Signal Finder: PHI @ HOU, SD @ MIA, NYJ @ KC (end), WSH @ MIN (end), DEN @ NE


Cha-CHING. Wasn't that the same pattern as last week? Sacks on top of sacks. Moose just jinxed Foles. And good job not even trying to tackle him, rest of the offense. The Eagles' offensive line isn't playing great right now. And Foles might be legit hurt — he's going to the locker room. When did Brandon Graham stop sucking again? Jesus, this punt. Lechler may still be the best in that business. It's Sanchize time. NO REST FOR THE WEARY. Wait, what did Maclin even do there? Remember, Sanchez played well in preseason — it's not like he doesn't know the plays. Touchdown to Matthews and that's good placement.







That one was too high. Huff's only like 5-9. Fitzpatrick had tons of time and Foster sold the false route well. I mean the Eagles' offense has moved the ball despite the O-line's struggles. Chip's going for it? Hey, it worked! Jesus, Watt somehow came completely free. That shouldn't happen ever. The second kick was better than the first. Another high snap. And the handoff to McCoy was high, too. Sanchez got lucky on that one. Oh, God, not again. Fletcher completely lost Hopkins. He's running in the other direction.

Field goal is... no good? I think Chip didn't expect the running game to do as well as it has. Hey, a rushing touchdown. Can we get LeSean some of those? Foster is limping and pissed off. Sanchez has no idea what happened.


That's the second time Hopkins has come across the field and no one's covered him. OH COME ON. Ryans intercepts the pass, them fumbles it? There's no way that's a good sign. And now he's hurt. Hopkins and turnovers are the only reason the Texans are still in this game. Sure, run the ball, why not. The Texans can't stop it. Sanchez can't slide, either. Mercilus left with an injury earlier, and a lot of guys have gone off injured in this game. Chip's going for it again, seemingly showing more confidence in his short-yardage game than he has earlier in this season at times. I think Polk got it. BOB is challenging the spot and that's always dicey. Let's not be losing yards here. Maclin? Maclin! I wasn't sure until the replay that it was a clean catch but it was.


And that will seal that deal. Oh, apparently they run Houston. That's worth something, I guess. (Eagles 31, Texans 21)

Good Lord, what is happening in Miami? I mean, Tannehill is carving the Chargers up. This is unbelievable. Now it's 30-0. Not sure why we haven't been switched to Jaguars-Bengals yet. Does it have to get to the fourth quarter first? Oh, never mind. Wait... Jets-Chiefs? (Dolphins 37, Chargers 0)


And we switch just in time to see Vick get hurt and MATT SIMMS start warming up (because Geno hurt his shoulder in addition to being benched.) This is going about as well as you'd expect. Why/How is Vick back in? P.S. The Chiefs have rebounded nicely and are one or two wins away from becoming a factor again. (Chiefs 24, Jets 10)

Watching the CBS crew between games. First of all, why aren't they showing Jags-Bengals? Second, why would anyone think Brandon Weeden would be good today? He hasn't been good since college.

Why didn't Griffin run for it? (Vikings 29, Redskins 26)

"Phil, some final thoughts." "Well, Jim, I just hope my son's chest didn't get caved in on that blitz earlier." That's the story of Brandon LaFell's life, right there.


Yeah, but you're gonna need touchdowns, Phil. That ball hit the ground. That's probably pass interference. I mean, it's close. And why IS the Peyton-Brady game always in Foxboro(ugh)? The only regular season meeting I remember that wasn't here was in Indy the year Brady was hurt. Oh, wait, there was another one. The one where Belichick blew that 4th and 1 play and the Colts won on a last-minute Peyton drive. Simms thinks Ninkovich changed direction on Peyton — something clearly happened because he was the closest guy to that pass. The Broncos aren't even pretending they can stop Gronk. And that was before the holding penalty. HOW did Edelman catch that?
Wow. The Broncos punter drops the snap (and got lucky to even get it off) and Edelman brings it back to the house.


Hey, Sanders is back in the game. "Nobody gets outside to contain Peyton Manning" was a sentence that was just unironically uttered.


That's always a jarring sound when the ball bounces off an upright. They got that back pretty quickly. Good job. Are the Broncos going for it on 4th and 6? Well, he just missed from 41 and I've already said that field goals aren't going to win this game. Well, that was the worst possible outcome.


Now the Patriots are running the two-minute drill to near perfection. Edelman AGAIN. Look, we've all seen the Broncos' offense but this feels like it's over. Oh, hang on a second... that ball hit the ground? It sure did. Let's try again. Doesn't matter. That's a clean pick. Julius! We may have something here. MAY. Belichick somewhat curiously calls a middle screen on 4th and 5 from the Broncos' 37 and Vereen bails him out, if only temporarily. Welker got popped. He used to catch those.




Interdeflection. And the Patriots score IMMEDIATELY. That might be it. The Pats are giving Ronnie Hillman zero respect. He's getting pounded out there. Sometimes legally. Good Lord that Gronk one-handed catch.




I'd say Belichick's getting ornery in his old age but let's be honest with ourselves. Some things never actually change. (Patriots 43, Broncos 21)

This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close: Seahawks 30, Raiders 24. The mystique is gone, man. Gone.

I'm ready for someone to die. This Steelers-Ravens on Sunday night montage is fantastic. Lots of punting and disillusionment so far. Jacoby Jones is still not bad at that particular thing.




He sure did. Something tells me Ben won't be throwing for 522 tonight. That screen to Steve Smith was... suboptimal. I mean, Polamalu had him lined up for a beatdown but still. I would not have picked Ben to be the guy with two 500-yard games. I know Aguilera's from Pittsburgh, but "Genie In A Bottle"? Yeesh. Was that three sacks in a row? Good Lord. Someone needs to be cut in-game for that.




That's a fumble. Wait, that happened to Ben before? The EAGLES did it? If it's the game I'm thinking of, that was just a weird game all around. Three flags on one play? All Harbaugh can say is "Wow."




Yeah, call some runs, take a load off. Whoa. Normally you don't see backs make catches like that. Wait. James Harrison just did a thing? In 2014? Is this the first Steelers game Collinsworth has seen this year? They run Archer out of the backfield all the time. And Bryant is SAFE. Collinsworth speaking truth about Steve Smith there. I have no trouble believing he outwrestles Terrell Suggs. None whatsoever. Oh man, Harrison got hurt in that pileup? And now it's 4th and 1. Flacco sneak works! Hey, a "Wind Direction" graphic. Stay innovating, SNF. I mean, Tucker's not missing this. Wheaton just beat that dude like a drum. Bad snap on the extra point... and the holder throws for two!




How is that not good unless he wasn't on the edge? Now it's getting chippy.
What are they looking at here? His knee wasn't down and that's clearly a forward pass.
That's a borderline dirty play by Suggs there on a guy who's been stopped by forward progress. And things are starting to get ugly. Are the refs handing out warnings? Sure seems like it. How did Suggs not get tossed for going over to the Steelers bench? EVERYBODY CALM DOWN.




Ben threw a strike to Brown, who ran across the field for the touchdown and that might do it. OR NOT. Remember when I said earlier that Jones was still kind of good at that? Nice hit by Ben to Bryant. OK. THAT should do it. Look, you can't both have it. Throwing it on 4th and 2 with a 12-point lead and two minutes left? That is some world-class trolling, Steelers. World. Class. (Steelers 43, Ravens 23)

That was a long way to go for no payoff, McConaghey. And how is he a Redskins fan from Texas? How did he stay alive? Chris Botti! An instrumental guy I've heard of! Eli scrambled up in the pocket and threw it to absolutely no one. It's really been a year and a half since the Giants have scored an opening drive touchdown? That seems impossible.




Coughlin was talking today or yesterday about how Luck just doesn't get sacked. Luck did what Eli just isn't capable of. 3rd and 15? Sure, run Peyton Hillis.




The Giants are determined to make life hard for Luck in the pocket. Lot of angry people going after that ball. Whelan ran right into his own man. Also "Griff Whelan" sounds like a lax bro. The Colts beat the replay flag! And nobody was anywhere near Fleener. Hillis? Hillis! And it ends in sadness. The Giants just don't have a good enough roster. Now Prince is out? DRC was already slowed by a bunch of things. Fleener? No. The officials discussed that and got it right that he was out of bounds. Now JPP's walking off? They're gonna have to get Strahan a uniform at this rate. You know who might not be all that good is Julius Randle. He just flat dropped that one.




The Giants haven't been bad defensively. And then... it appears whatever ails the receivers is contagious. I'm sure Steve Weatherford's loose. Holy hell T.Y. Hilton. DRC just got owned. Nice move, rook. Well that changes things. That's not grounding. Reggie Wayne's still got it, somewhat. Was that a fumble? I guess so. The Giants' defense seems to have been worn down... they're not getting enough help from the offense.




NOBODY covered Dwayne Allen. Fantastic play fake. This one seems finished. Ah geez, Richburg. Eli has the best hands on the Giants tonight. And that one didn't even count. (Colts 40, Giants 24)

RANKINGS

TOP 4:

1. Arizona (7-1) — Cardinals rising?
2. New England (7-2) — Holding the fort

3. Denver (6-2) — A predictable hiccup
4. Pittsburgh (6-3) — Late '70's version redux

BOTTOM 4:
29. Tampa Bay (1-7) — Pulling off that last drive was just too much to ask
30. Jacksonville (1-8) — At least Denard Robinson's doing well
31. N.Y. Jets (1-8) — So long, Rex
32. Oakland (0-8) — Put up a fight, at least

Sunday, November 2, 2014

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 8: Same Old, Same Old

I feel like we've been here before. Did Montee Ball get hurt and I don't remember it?




That was... ill-advised. Especially since Rivers hasn't missed many yet. Gates! Keenan Allen scored a touchdown! Stop the presses! This is an interesting call. Carey says fumble... and the on-field refs disagree. Oh well. That was damn near picked off. Jeez, make it any easier, why don't you. I don't know what they're looking at — that's a clean interception. I can read Philip Rivers  lips, and he is not praying. These audibles look panicked, Touchdown Broncos!  Or not? Good spot by either Nantz or whoever saw that. That was a quick review. Sanders again? Comparisons to Eric Decker (who he effectively replaced) keep popping up. The Other Brandon Marshall's been having a real hot stretch.
Floyd caught that! Wow. Allen needs longer cleats. That's at least the second time he's slipped. Good thing they picked that flag up or there would have been two questionable pass interference calls in the end zone on the same drive. Gates again! That felt like it took 36 plays. Don't run it out, Weddle. Jeez. And someone held anyway so it doesn't even count. This feels over — not that it matters but the Chargers have had no running game tonight. Until now, of course. GATES. They missed the field goal? Man, Rivers. Floyd was never open. Go somewhere else next time.




I think we can safely wrap this up. (Broncos 35, Chargers 21)


Tally-ho or something.

Really, any decision Ryan made at that point would have been a bad one — he just happened to choose the worst one. I mean, that was right out of the Book of Favre. On top of that, the Falcons have fumbled about eight times and somehow not lost a single one that I'm aware of. Lot of guys on this Lions offense you've never heard of. Theo Riddick? The Falcons aren't as close as they think they are. They still need about 10 more yards for a reasonable field goal attempt. And they get zero more yards. Splendid. Good punt, though. And in two plays the Lions are in Falcons territory. They're going to blow this, aren't they? DEFENSIVE HOLDING. Well, here we go. Seriously? He MISSED it? Oh, delay of game, which strangely helps the Lions here. And how does that even happen with the clock stopped? Also the snap was bad but really? IT'S GOOD. THE LIONS MADE A FIELD GOAL.




(Lions 22, Falcons 21)

Signal Finder: SEA @ CAR, BAL @ CIN (end), PHI @ AZ

The Bears' defense has two good players on it, one of which blew out his knee celebrating a sack while down by 25 points. You can blame Jay Cutler for a lot of things, but this game is not one of them. (Patriots 51, Bears 23)


Newton didn't get that. And the spot is closer than I thought he got. They're going for it and I assume it's a Newton sneak. Yep and it's good. Benjamin needs to catch that. That goal-line sequence was... unproductive. What is Thomas Davis doing? Stop running! That was so obviously a pass. A bounce pass, but still a pass. This isn't a good idea either. And yet it worked! Bad snap, the line breaks down, and Newton still gets the first down. That fumble ruins another good Panthers drive. Fouts said it: Neither guy wanted to take the football. Here come the Seahawks? This is why getting so little out of those earlier drives hurts, especially against a team that's reeling. No one was anywhere near Kearse. Lynch lost yardage on that pass. Interception? Interception! Lynch has to catch that. Is he tanking? There have been some dumb turnovers in this game and that's another one.




Wilson just threw a knuckleball that was almost caught. Willson didn't catch that? Oh, Kuechly hit him and knocked the ball out. Lynch has been the worst of Seattle's running backs today — Turbin's completely outplayed him in every aspect. That's another blown quarterback-running back exchange. And that's a bad snap and it's Panthers ball. This game has been terrible. Sherman was back on the punt return? That's some desperation right there. Man, a safety deciding this would have been SO appropriate. BENJAMIN!! And yet again no one can get into the end zone. Russ has this look on his face like "I'm going to have to do this myself again, aren't I?" OH MY GOD A TOUCHDOWN. Harper's hit knocked Willson into the end zone. Another sack! That's it., right? Who called THAT play? (Seahawks 13, Panthers 9)

Oh, Andy Dalton. You're so confounding. That's pretty blatant OPI. A screen pass on 4th and 20, Ravens? That's the same play the Panthers called on 4th and 25. And we all saw how well that worked out. (Bengals 27, Ravens 24)




How in God's name were the Jets favored? I mean, they were only favored by three and odds include a three-point advantage for the home team but they should have been a 12-point dog. Vegas doesn't know everything, people. (Bills 43, Jets 23)

Roof is CLOSED. Is this game in slow motion? The Cardinals are already burning time outs? Myers: "The officials, so far, have been the stars of this game." Well they're the only ones who've done anything. Don't jump. Don't jump. Christ. Wait, that one was on the Cardinals? Why are they punting? You're indoors! That's a big break for the Eagles. Foles beat the blitz and Matthews only had one guy to worry about. Good throw there. Sounds like there's some Eagles fans in the house. I've noticed that Foles always rolls left. The Eagles stay running screens like bosses. Maclin is the anti-DeSean in many ways, including touchdown celebration dances.




And once again, the Eagles can't cover Larry Fitzgerald. This'll be an interesting spot. The Cardinals are going for it because I guess they figure they'll need touchdowns. Got it. And once again, the Eagles can't cover Larry Fitzgerald. Matthews dropped that — it'll be incomplete. Not a particularly effective hold by Peterson. A defense with that guy on it should be better against the pass than this. The hell just happened?





And now the Cardinals are at midfield because no one saw the ball and Cole got flagged for roughing the passer.



I see you, Cooper. What's this challenge now? Also, that's a weak roughing the passer on the Honey Badger. I mean, Foles didn't even bother selling it, that's how bad it was. Now the Cardinals are out of challenges. Oh dear. Bucannon got Maclin with his helmet (which is why it flew off). They're still down. Hey, Foles rolled left. The Cardinals are blitzing like crazy now, and with Cromartie going off, it may continue. Earl Wolff just got steamrolled on that kickoff. I'm... I'm not even surprised any more. The pick wouldn't have mattered. Fitzgerald has made his career on tearing the Eagles to shreds. Does McCoy ever run straight ahead? This has been a strange series. It's gone from bad calls to bad non-calls. Parkey from 54? Good!




That touchdown to Maclin was pretty much perfection. Foles bought time and dropped it in the bucket. The interception, on the other hand... The Cardinals' goal-to-go offense looks like the Eagles'. So. Many. Penalties. Does this play calling seem odd to anyone else? I'm surprised they haven't tried play action here. NOW what do you do? And they've got the whole two-minute warning to think about it. They're kicking the field goal. OK. What.. What.. How? HOW?!?!?! HOW DO YOU LET THAT HAPPEN MY GOD THIS SECONDARY IS THE HOTTEST GARBAGE. Barber: "I don't know how that happened." I'll tell you how it happened, Ronde: You could put on an Eagles jersey right now and you'd be their best defensive back. Always the Cardinals. ALWAYS the Cardinals. YOU HAD ONE JOB. ONE FREAKING JOB.




I don't even care about this last drive because it's not going to work BECAUSE THE FOOTBALL CARDINALS HAVE THE SAME DEVIL MAGIC THE BASEBALL CARDINALS DO, BUT IT ONLY WORKS ON THE EAGLES. (Cardinals 24, Eagles 20)

DAMN YOU PRISON JERSEYS. DAMN YOU. The Steelers' offense isn't the Bengals'. Luck had been red hot but that was a bad pass. That, on the other hand, was a good one. No. 10 got lost in the coverage. The touchdown to Allen was a bullet. That throw to Bryant was so telegraphed and yet so perfect at the same time. Encroachment on a field goal? That's... not good. Pagano is furious.  How did Brown get his hands on that ball to catch it? Phil Sims called Greg Toler one-half of the best cornerback tandem in the NFL, proof that jet lag is real. Meanwhile, Roethlisberger has been a machine this half. Of course, this also means Luck has them right where he wants them. Hilton spun away and got open at the last second. I mean, the Colts might want to find someone who can cover Brown. Also, the Steelers might want to find someone who can cover Hilton. If Luck had gone right he might have made it. That first half was a bum rush. It keeps going! This Martavis Bryant needs to be the Steelers' No. 2 guy ASAP. Hey, Bradshaw scored on an actual run. Who is Donte Moncrief? How did the NBA Live NPCs get into this game? Also I should point out here that the Colts have made this a one-score game and I told you Luck had them right where he wanted them. That flag was in the end zone, wasn't it? What a buzzkill. Roethlisberger just hornswaggled the Colts defense. (Steelers 51, Colts 34)


Did Corey White wear that hat indoors? THAT didn't take long. I don't like the Saints' chances tonight — the only game their defense hasn't been pathetic in was the Vikings win after the Adrian Peterson thing broke. I've said before that commercial bumpers for games in New Orleans should be nothing but street musicians. Brandin Cooks! The Saints have been waiting for that kid. And Eddie Lacy comes right back with a 67-yarder. Packers got a little too tricky with that pass to Peppers. Well that completely backfired.






An onside kick? The hell is McCarthy doing? Hey, good job covering Colston. This may be Colts-Steelers but closer. "These defenses aren't too bad either." No, Cris, they're terrible. Field goals? Come on, guys. Hey a Jimmy Graham sighting! Ingram got smoked. Of course, the Saints were in that no-man's land where you don't love any of your 4th and short options. Rodgers is unhappy about something. Oh, he grabbed his leg. Interception off of a deflection. Now it's the Packers' turn to give up a bunch of big plays. Rodgers probably wishes that series had lasted longer.




The Packers are going to go for this? I mean, it worked earlier. Not even close. Graham!  That felt inevitable. Another forward progress deal? OK. This looks like the end. Rodgers weirdly walked in to the end zone there. You don't often see two terrible onside kicks in the same game but this is where we are. I mean, that one went BACKWARDS. Ingram's run ices it. I didn't think the Packers' defense would end up being the worst one on the field tonight but you can't predict this stuff. (Saints 44, Packers 23)

I'm always up for a good instrumental anthem. Especially after... last night. Harris ran into his own man on that punt return. Wait, now what? I understand nothing.




Hey, there's DeSean beating a Cowboys defensive back. That's never happened before. Unsportsmanlike conduct for that? That seems like a misapplication of the term.




Jesus, Tony, snap the damn ball. And they still didn't pick up the blitz. And Murray's left completely uncovered. Good job, everyone. /sarcasm Dez just fought three guys to score that touchdown. They need to pay that dude. Lot of interesting interpretations of the rules going on here tonight. Any reason DeSean's not getting flagged here? Oh, they both did. I only saw the tail end of that. Those Morris stats with or without Griffin do say something also. Didn't seem to bother him there, though. This has been a surprisingly low-scoring game. Romo almost got victimized by a knockdown there. He just took a SHOT. He's down. Took a knee to the back. That was actually good for the Cowboys that that wasn't a fumble... it may buy them a little time. But not that much.






It's Brandon Weeden time. And that is ALL he needs to do.




That's good coverage by that kid twice on Dez. The Cowboys can't tackle. We've seen far too much of Colt McCoy's parents tonight. Quarterback draw for a touchdown!





That fumble's on Weeden. Nice screen. Real nice. Someone got a sweet block downfield. Hey, nice coverage on Witten, Redskins! One thing I've noticed tonight is McCoy hasn't hit Jackson in stride once. Romo's back in the game? At his own 3? This is moronic.





This has to end with a pick, right? That works, too. Wait, the Cowboys got it back? They can now review this and they're finally going to after 15 seconds ran off the clock. And how was that not intercepted??? They're running out of time, though. "Dork Elvis?" Romo gets cadence calls from Bill Simmons nicknames? That's intentional grounding. I'd have had DeSean back there to return that punt but that's me. Overtime. Excellent catch on the sideline by Jordan Reed. The Redskins have moved the ball on this drive. There's the field goal.




The Cowboys have looked utterly discombobulated since Romo came back in. They deserved this loss.


Also, somebody won a bet. (Redskins 20, Cowboys 17, OT)

RANKINGS

TOP 4:

1. Denver (6-1) — It's an easy game, this football
2. Arizona (6-1) — When you've got it, you've got it
3. New England (6-2) — Oh shit, son...
4. Dallas (6-2) — Dr. Jones in the house?

BOTTOM 4:
29. Tampa Bay (1-6) — Just gave up on a former top-10 pick
30. Jacksonville (1-7) — Well that was short-lived
31. N.Y. Jets (1-7) — So long, Geno
32. Oakland (0-7) — At least Derek Carr isn't terrible

Saturday, October 18, 2014

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 6: Upping Your Ends

Nice catch, Hilton. Look up! That one hit the Texan in the head. Onside kick! The Texans just STOOD there. I mean, the Colts have done that three times already this year, as Nantz said. Don't you have to be thinking of that? Hilton wasn't touched! Or was he? That looked like two straight brain freezes by the Texans but we'll see.


I guess there was contact. And of course Richardson pretty much walks in on the next play. That's the easiest touchdown he's ever scored in the NFL. Watt ran down Luck but he may have simply postponed the inevitable.


Easy touchdown to Bradshaw and we've seen this movie before, haven't we? I'd say something about the Texans but they've done absolutely nothing. They got that time out? And Fleener's wide open in the end zone. This thing's over.



Arian Foster!  Again! Just give that guy the ball all the time, Texans. Fitzpatrick's beard is trying to escape his helmet. That can't be safe. How was that not intercepted? Points for the Texans. Tipped interception? This Tuggle related to Jessie at all? Nah, they would have mentioned it. The offensive line's opening holes for Foster and he's finding them. Could this turn into a game? Bradshaw ran through about four Texans on that 3rd down pass. Simms preaching aggression is laughable. Ironically, since he said that, things have slowed considerably. Did Bradshaw ever catch this many passes with the Giants? HOLD THE PROVERBIAL PHONE. I mean, if nothing else, the Texans have been able to run the ball tonight. This is a good response by the Colts. Oh, here's something else: the Texans refuse to cover Hilton. Why are they going for two here?




Oh, that won't help matters. Luck has hit on something these last few weeks. Meanwhile, Hilton's out here setting records or something. What happened there? Well, we've seen the commercials, and that proves it: the only thing J.J. Watt can't do is dance.




He wasn't touched, either. That's... not pass interference. BOB is livid. Calm down, man, it happens to everybody. Now nobody on the Colts is catching anything. Wayne caught that? OK there's the challenge flag. That one's gonna be close. Incomplete. Not a good series for Andre Johnson. Offensive PI and now this. I disagree with Carey here — I think that's a catch. Refs got this one right.



That's a big knockdown by Watt at a crucial point. With not-good teams, this drive usually ends in an interception. Oh, Fitzpatrick fumbled? That works, too. Did DeAndre Hopkins not see the ball there? At least it wasn't a massacre. (Colts 33, Texans 28)

Signal Finder:
PIT @ CLE, GB @ MIA, CAR @ CIN (end), DAL @ SEA, WSH @ AZ (end)

It's surprisingly loud at Sun Life. Must be all the transplants — I wouldn't want to stay in Wisconsin either. The Packers just flat beat Miami corners on the touchdown and the pass to Cobb before it. Nice return. I mean, you have to block Julius Peppers. Blocked punt! Why would you do anything with Mike Wallace other than send him deep? He can't do anything else. Good hold by the Packers defense, but I think I might have tried rolling Tannehill out at some point. Two near-misses there: Wake almost crushed Rodgers, who would have had a touchdown if Starks had caught that dump-off. Lamar Miller lost 40 yards on that run. Tannehill should have gone somewhere else with that one. This Landry kid has some wheels on him. Finnegan's in Miami? I thought that dude retired. And Tannehill throws another interception. That was an ever worse decision than the first one — Hartline wasn't close to open. The Packers punter almost got beat again. That's a touchback. This is the first good Dolphins drive of the game. Both Packers corners are out? Tannehill's looked much better this half. Wait, that went off his head? Miller! We're somehow tied. The Dolphins are finding gold along the sidelines. I'M MIKE WALLACE. (Haven't said that in a few years.) Feels like Starks is having a better game than Eddie Lacy today. Did Rodgers try to jump over that guy? What was that? Man, NOW what do you do? 4th and 6? Either way you're gonna have to hope you can get the ball back... I don't know. OK. So the Packers got the stop they needed. The Dolphins brought the house on that sack. How does Nelson get loose? He didn't step out of bounds, either. That timeout's gonna get scrutinized if the Dolphins end up losing. Rodgers is suddenly getting no protection. FAKE SPIKE!! Get out of bounds, kid! Good job. (He almost scored.) TOUCHDOWN! That ball was teleported. This super lateral play is getting interest— ah, that's that, I suppose. (Packers 27, Dolphins 24)















I mean, what I don't get about this is how the Buccaneers' defense has been this bad. (Ravens 48, Buccaneers 17)


Sounds like this last-minute switch to Steelers-Browns was a good thing. Bad snap on that field goal attempt? Oh, it slipped out of the holder's hand. How does no one cover Jordan Cameron? With Josh Gordon out selling cars or whatever, he's the Browns' best offensive player by a considerable margin. Cameron again! And this time he scored. That's good play design by... Kyle Shanahan? Man, the Browns have scored three straight touchdowns and are freight-training the Steelers right now. This is how their first game started, but going the other way. And I'm not all that certain that this one's going to end the same way that one did. No idea what the Steelers are planning here with eight seconds. Oh, that. Too many fakes on that one Browns pass but it worked anyway. This is stunning. I mean, we've seen the Browns pick the Steelers off in recent years, but not like this.




Did I miss a Browns turnover or something? The Steelers have had the ball for six minutes and are somehow back at midfield? Oh, they had the ball for 50 seconds. Hoyer was 8 for 17? Usually you're on the bad side of this score when that happens. Hell, usually you don't even get to double digits when that happens. (Browns 31, Steelers 10)



Think CBS regretted doing this? Think FOX regretted letting CBS do this? Especially with the baseball playoffs going on and not having Joe Buck or Kevin Burkhart (who's anchoring the FS1 studio show) already screwing up the announcer pairings. That's how we ended up with Mike Goldberg's disaster at Lions-Vikings and something else that we'll get to later. As for the game itself, clearly Tom Brady's still pissed off. (Patriots 37, Bills 22)


GIOOOOOOOO. If this game doesn't go to overtime the Bengals don't get Bernard back. That's a big sack and the Bengals are stuck with a field goal now. They're running Cam a lot. I know he's their best healthy runner at this point but still. Two missed passes and now it's a field goal to tie it again. It's good. Next score wins! But there's only three minutes left! HANG ON, EVERYBODY. This is gonna end in a tie, isn't it? Big catch! AND a penalty? Now the Bengals have time to take at least one shot. They're not going to? Well, this'll be it right here then. HE MISSED?!?!?!?!?



(Panthers 37, Bengals 37, OT)




Maybe next week. (Lions 17, Vikings 7)

That's one of Murray's two bugaboos — he struggles protecting the ball. How are the Cowboys not abysmal defensively? They were terrible last year, lost their three best players, and added no one of consequence. This has to come apart at some point, right? What has happened to punt protection in this league?





The Seahawks are uncharacteristically getting killed by this underneath stuff. Honestly, with Maxwell out, I wouldn't put Dez anywhere near Sherman for the rest of this game. I don't know what that flag was for, either.




The way the Cowboys have owned this quarter, anything less than a touchdown would have been an embarrassment. Now we got a scrum. This is the Seahawks' biggest problem right now; they can't get off the field on defense. The announcers keep bringing up the Chargers game and they should. Hey, a sack. BEAST MODE. Well, at least they got to midfield first. The other thing is the Seahawks haven't made any 3rd downs either. A muff? Seahawks ball! No. 52 is standing there waving the ball in the air and the refs are still digging through the pile. Wilson: "Screw this. I'll do it myself." Bad snap? What WAS that? Now we have another skirmish. And another fumble maybe? Seahawks ball! And ANOTHER donnybrook. That penalty on Okung killed this drive. The Seahawks defense is not having a good day. The Seahawks' offense needs to go down the field. LIKE THAT. And then they hit another one on third down! That'll get challenged — or not, as there was defensive holding anyway. And another drive fizzles out. The defense is going to have to win this one, I think, and I'm legitimately not sure they're up to the task. A Cowboys penalty wipes out a big gain? That's never happened before. God help us all if that Baldwin-Wilson exchange had been Dez and Romo. That's DEFINITELY getting challenged. Oh my God, Williams CAUGHT that. Where did he even come from? That was absurd. This whole game has defied description. And then it occurred to me: The Romo-era Cowboys have always played their best when expectations are at their lowest. (Cowboys 30, Seahawks 23)

Carson's back! And Redskins fans still prefer Cousins over Griffin. Yeah, you guys keep running with that.


They're running this package of Cousins' interceptions and they get progressively worse, culminating with that last one that went right to Johnson for the touchdown. It's time to end this nonsense.




Also, the Cardinals are in first place all by themselves. (Cardinals 30, Redskins 20)

That may have been McCoy's best run in three weeks. Andre Williams trucked somebody. Who was that? Eli took too long to do... something. You should never want to hear your own coaches say "Bad things happen when you hold the ball" about you. This looks like a bad challenge. Well that play fake didn't fool anyone. Some good runs by McCoy tonight.  ERTZ! That was pretty crazy itself.





 


This playlist baffles me. "All Of Me" as a bumper in an NFL game? How does that work?  MCR? Yellowcard? At least P!nk's from nearby. Anyway, I'm digressing. Trent Cole hasn't lost a whole lot. First and 19. That's uncommon. Delay of Game? Really? Coughlin's furious. Barwin's going nuts. Eli's getting beat up out here.




Even Bennie Logan's getting in on the act. Eli should not be trying to make moves. Another good run by McCoy, and a nice block by Maclin. James Casey?!? This may be turning into one of those games. Giants are doing dumb things now. Sproles ran into Donnell for some reason or he might have scored. Amazingly, that's a good job to pick up that flag — there was no face mask. Somehow JPP caught Foles just in time. The Giants can't do anything on first down. They got a piece of that punt, too? Big plays big. Should have eaten that one, Foles. Prediction: Nothing comes of this. And there's offensive holding. Fielding that punt was some youthful exuberance on Beckham's part. That sequence didn't go well. How did Donnell catch that? That ball got tipped twice. OFFENSIVE HOLDING. Giants should probably go for it here. Incomplete and Cruz is hurt. Cart's out. You can't like seeing this if you're a halfway decent human being. Meanwhile, McCoy appears to be back. This is what I get for benching him. Sproles struts into the end zone.




I mean, everything's gone wrong for the Giants tonight. That was odd. Get up, Sproles! We're out of running backs! That was weird — Beckham misplayed the punt and it just went off Huff's knee. Then he juggles and drops a pass. Welcome to the show, kid. Chip just picking runs at random now. This one's been over for a while. Trey Burton getting carries! If the Giants wanted to not get shut out, why bring Nassib in? I agree with Collinsworth — you try a field goal here, you're only trolling yourself.




Yeah, good job by you guys. (Eagles 27, Giants 0)


The '90's Rams unis! I'm all about that.




This is the 700th Monday Night Football, for the record.  I don't know if Austin Davis is any kind of long-term solution, but he's earned at least a chance to prove whether he is or not. It's kind of shameful that the Rams are just now getting around to playing their other rookies. Hey, that's P.A. Mase's kid. Wonder if the ESPN DJ will play some De La Soul if he does something tonight. Feels like the Rams have had eight plays down here. Touchdown, or something.




Welcome back, Vernon Davis. Wait, what? That ball just popped out. Animal Jr.! This game is full of unexpected legacy kids. Mason again. Turns out Austin reversing the reverse ended up being the right move. Touchdown Rams?!?!? Gruden's kicking himself, no pun intended. "Can you believe I cut Phil Dawson?" That's so far down the list that I'm not even going to reference it. These Rams receivers have been open. Where has this been the last five years? McDonald is Tim's son? There's another one. Oh boy. Brandon Lloyd just faked Janoris Jenkins out of his jockstrap. That was brutal coverage.




This may get overturned. These guys can't outrun Kaepernick. The 49ers are finally getting a bit of traction in the running game. Boldin! They keep showing Sam Bradford on the sideline with this look on his face like "Am I gonna have a job next year?" Willis is out, too? Now Ward is out? How many guys can the 49ers lose in one game? The Rams' pass coverage has really fallen off since the Lloyd touchdown. Like, Crabtree just worked that poor kid on that touchdown. I think it's safe to say this game has turned.




McDonald and Davis crashed into each other and cost the 49ers a touchdown. Are the Rams going to stonewall them here? They got the stop? A flag? Now what? After the play?

 


Seriously, look at Fisher's record. A LOT of 8-8's on that ledger. This synonyms discussion started off the rails and only got more disjointed. Is this the same drive? And they only got a field goal? Sad. Yeah, this ain't happening. See? (49ers 31, Rams 17)

RANKINGS

TOP 4:

1. (tie) San Diego (5-1) — Survived the Black Hole
1. (tie) Dallas (5-1) — Officially need to be Dealt With
3. Denver (4-1) — Peyton being Peyton
4. Arizona (4-1) — Playing well despite missing key parts

BOTTOM 4:
29. Tampa Bay (1-5) — Seriously, what happened?
30. N.Y. Jets (1-5) — Rex's fate seems sealed
31. Jacksonville (0-6) — At least Bortles looks not terrible
32. Oakland (0-5) — That went well