By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 10: Turnstiles

God, this weekend sucked.

View Finder: MIN @ NYG, WSH @ TB

It's easy to forget that Eli hasn't even played 16 games yet. In the back of your mind, you knew this was coming; you just didn't think it would happen against this bunch. Did anyone even see Sharper? Is anyone trying? Hey, a Koren Robinson sighting! This is what it's come to for him? Sad. Tice getting racked sums up the entire Vikings' season, doesn't it? In Eli's defense here, two of those weren't his fault (the one that went off of Toomer's hands at the end, in particular, should've been caught) How 'bout that Vikings offense? Good Lord. This should never have happened.

The City appears to be particularly Windy -- I think that field goal attempt ended up in the ivy at Wrigley. And I think the bigger question is: knowing that, why do you try a 52-yarder? Vasher was running like a lineman at the end of that.

Really? It's been that long since the Jaguars have scored 30 points?

Max: "Wasn't Sakmon Goto the guy who crippled Van Damme's brother in Kickboxer?" His name is Sakmon Gato. Well, this guy's is. I have no explanation for the outcome of this game other than Packer pride. Well, that and the fumbles. This may be Upset of the Year.

Hey, the real Rams are back. The wire story said "Vitt morphed into Martz" on the fake field goal flop and that's pretty accurate. I think the NFC West just got decided. Can we start talking about Alexander, please?

Fly, Alstott! Fly! Sometimes a game can be fun when it's the exact opposite of what you expect it to be. PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. When did Ike Hilliard join the Buccaneers? Talk about a stealth move. And this is what I mean... how are these two teams in a shootout? Especially with Tampa getting nothing from Cadillac again, although Simms looks sharp. The announcers called the offsides on the blocked extra point before the officials did. Are... are the Bucs going for two now? WOW. I still don't know if he got in or not.

I expect one long "Duuuuuuuce" chant tonight. Apparently I'm mistaken. How about that Wilson catch? And Batch's Matt Leinart impression? It's fortunate the Browns are still pretty bad because I don't know if I'd feel confident with Maddox in there otherwise. Truth: Randle El finished with more passing yards.

*crosses off Eagles*

FANTASY REPORT

aPa SmackDown! (5-5, L1): It's telling that of the teams that I draw players from, only the Colts won. Ska beats me 93-77 in a game he had to have.

JackSux (8-2, L1): Trent Green scores negative points and I lose by eight. Thanks for your fucking contribution.

RANKINGS TOP 3:
1. Indianapolis (9-0) - Now it starts getting heavy
2. Denver (7-2) - Plummer an MVP candidate?
3. Pittsburgh (7-2) - Going through QBs like Sherman through Georgia

BOTTOM 3:
30. Saints (2-7) - Week off can't stop the badness
31. Green Bay (2-7) - Well, that's... something
32. Houston (1-8) - Would they take Leinart?