By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 7: Reasonable Doubt

View Finder: SD @ PHI, DEN @ NYG, DAL @ SEA

Wait! Wait a minute! That's... THAT'S JEFF GARCIA'S MUSIC! This crowd is stunned!

Is anyone left for the Rams? This is the second week in a row that a player's punched an opponent in the junk. This trend needs to stop, right? Afterwards, Saints C LeCharles Bentley wanted Rams DT Damione Lewis to be suspended, saying "Maybe that's how he was raised." And isn't that the perfect metaphor for what actually happened to the Saints in this game. Jamie Martin is 36?

So I'll pass the time before something actually happens here by playing Devil's Advocate: The Chargers' secondary isn't all that. And during the streak of 25 straight passes, 22 of them were completed. You attack the weakness and good things can happen. I have to say I've been quite disappointed in T.O.'s celebrations this year. Did LDT miss the flight? Does Lorenzo Neal actually have more yards than he does? There's been an awful lot of pushing and shoving in this game for teams that never play each other. All right, Andy. First, why are you going for it; and second, why are you going for it by throwing a five-yard overhead to Lamar Gordon? It's BLOCKED! TOUCHDOWN! We believe that's the first time the Eagles have ever done that. I can't tell if it was a fumble or not, and whatever was called on the field was going to hold up because no matter which way you go, you can't convincingly say that it was something other than what the refs said it was. If that makes any sense.

Is this the Penn State game again?

So this Edinger, he does a 180 every time he kicks for... what? Momentum? The Bears actually cut him for Doug Brien, if you can believe that. I don't know about the rest of you, but I was expecting this score to be doubled. On both sides. A few years ago I asked Chris if that season's Vikings were the worst team to ever beat Favre in the Metrodome. I think these guys take the cake.

"Dear Cincinnati Bengals: Just wanted to make sure you didn't forget about us. Sincerely, The Pittsburgh Steelers."

Really, Who Gives A Rat's Ass?: Titans-Cardinals.

REVENGE THE TIME IS NOW! Ah, Seattle weather. Is everybody tired all the time because it's so overcast? Is that why the coffee boom happened there? This is one of the most boring games ever and I saw the first half of Chargers-Eagles. I think Alexander's wherever Tomlinson was. Why would you interject yourself into any argument Bill Parcells is having? Oh, wow. That last pass was Testaverde-esque. Didn't this happen three hours ago?

The Giants' fumble recovery on the final kickoff cost Ed his fantasy league game.

Well, that's an inauspicious beginning for the Jets. And it continues. And it doesn't look like it's going to stop any time soon. Good thing the Falcons can run the ball, eh?

FANTASY REPORT

aPA SmackDown! (4-3, W2): LaMont Jordan's three touchdowns and Mark Brunell facing the 49ers adds up to our first winning streak. 97-50 over Gutter Trash.

JackSux (7-0, W7): 100-64 as the Falcons' defense goes to town on the Jets. This is eerily familiar. Poor Johnny lost by .01.

RANKINGS

TOP 3:
1. Indianapolis (7-0) - Two weeks to prepare for The Biggest Game Ever
2. Pittsburgh (4-2) - The formula will work until proven otherwise
3. Cincinnati (5-2) - Not yet, boys

BOTTOM 3:
30. Green Bay (1-5) - And now Green's out
31. San Francisco (1-5) - Now Smith's hobbled on top of everything
32. Houston (0-6) - Somebody may need to be mercy killed