Fearful Forecast 2007

Fearful Forecast 2007

NFC EAST

(2) Philadelphia - Did the impossible last season and won three straight division road games in December with a backup quarterback to take the East. With McNabb back healthy and Westbrook firmly entrenched, a defense in flux will have to come together if the Eagles are gonna be worldbeaters.

(5) Dallas - There are some lofty expectations for the Cowboys, which seems unfair when you consider how badly Romo was exposed at the end of last season. This may be all on his shoulders. If he's up to it (and if the secondary can cover anybody), this team could be dangerous. But God help him if he's not - or when T.O. turns on him.

Washington - Here's all you need to know about the Daniel Snyder Era: Even with Joe Gibbs, the Redskins have become completely irrelevant. They can run the ball with Portis and Betts, which will keep pressure off Campbell, but their lack of a pass rush leaves their defense suspect.

N.Y. Giants - If this team's veterans constantly sniping about Tom Coughlin weren't enough to get him fired, Eli's regression last season should have been. But what's been overlooked is 1) how bad the defense was, and 2) they didn't make any big offseason moves to improve their weaknesses. This could be a disaster.

NFC NORTH

(3) Chicago - The Bears won't sneak up on anybody, but in this sorry division, it won't matter. But they're going to need Rex to find something resembling consistency if they want to get back to the Super Bowl.

Green Bay - Is THIS Favre's last season? Who knows. The rest of the team's in transition with some young potential on offense, but an underrated defense should keep them in games.

Minnesota - At least Tarvaris Jackson has Taylor and Peterson to run the ball and lighten the load. But there's too little on offense to support a rock-solid defense.

Detroit - They should score points, but I'd feel better about this offense if Kitna wasn't running it. To expand on that, I'd feel better about this team if Matt Millen wasn't running it.

NFC SOUTH

(1) New Orleans - Amazing what a difference competence at coach and QB makes. The offense should be even more dynamic, but I still wonder if they've fixed their secondary problems, though getting McKenzie back should help.

Carolina - Delhomme fell off badly in a disappointing all-around season for the Panthers, but is David Carr really the answer if his struggles continue? This whole team seems primed for a bounce-back year.

Tampa Bay - Chris Simms gave his spleen for the cause and almost didn't make this year's squad. Jeff Garcia comes in to run the offense, but the Bucs have backslid since their Super Bowl win. Gruden's gotta be on notice, right?

Atlanta - Say what you want about Vick on the field, but the Falcons had a nasty habit of not winning without him. All Harrington's proven is that he's pretty bad. They'll also miss Kerney more than everyone thinks.

NFC WEST

(4) Seattle - The Seahawks and Eagles had sort of similar seasons except the 'Hawks got their quarterback back. I'm still not sure why they traded Jackson to a division rival, though.

(6) San Francisco - The improving 49ers are a trendy pick to do some things with improving Alex Smith and an overhauled defense, but I don't really like their non-Jackson WRs and the division is a lot more competitive.

St. Louis - The Rams keep adding parts to their offense and can still remain competitive, but I'm not sure if the defense is up to holding up its end.

Arizona - We'll continue our tradition of not letting them off the hook, because even with a star-laden offense, yet another new coach, and an evolving defense, they're still the Arizona Cardinals until they prove otherwise.

AFC EAST

(3) New England - The Pats blew up their entire receiving corps in search of playmakers, but is Randy Moss still an elite player? This corner says no, but it probably won't matter too much as long as Brady's throwing the passes.

N.Y. Jets - The Meadowlands' other tenants were kind of overlooked as a team that probably overachieved last year. In the NFC, they'd be contenders. But they're not in the NFC.

Buffalo - The light went on for Losman in the second half last season, and the Bills also beefed up their offensive line in free agency. If Lynch can replace McGahee, they'll... still be a step behind the 49ers, for comparison.

Miami - They're gonna try yet again with Cam Cameron and Trent Green, but a young and inconsistent offensive line will make things difficult. The defense is still good, but its key players - Taylor, Thomas, Holliday, Traylor - are getting old.

NFC SOUTH

(1) Indianapolis - They know they can do it, so that's not an issue anymore. They're not very deep, though, and losing any of their stars could lead to some serious problems, especially on defense.

Tennessee - Vince Young continued his game-breaking ways as an NFL rookie, but he's got no help on offense. The defense won't miss Pacman with Harper and Herndon coming aboard.

Jacksonville - The Leftwich era ended just like that. I've always been a Garrard fan, but for the Jaguars to seriously think about being contenders, this has to work.

Houston - Matt Schaub? Ahman Green? Really? At least the Texans are building a defense with a high ceiling.

NFC NORTH

(2) Baltimore - McNair really stabilized the quarterback position for the Ravens and saved Billick's job in the process. McGahee adds a(nother?) dimension to the offense, and the defense keeps coming up with players to replace its losses.

(5) Pittsburgh - Last year shouldn't have happened, starting with Ben's motorcycle accident and filtering on down to a highly disappointing season. This team is better than last season showed, and I like them to come back strong.

Cincinnati - There's nothing wrong with this offense. The defense... well, that's another matter. The Bengals have big holes on the other side, and this conference is too tough to win with a defense as bad as this one.

Cleveland - I don't like the fact that they threw in the towel on Frye after a season and a half, but it is what it is. Quinn will be the man by season's end, but this is another team that hasn't done a lot of things right the last few years.

AFC WEST

(4) San Diego - Replacing Marty with Norv, while it preserves continuity, could prove to be the Chargers' eventual undoing as far as winning a Super Bowl is concerned. Seriously, Norv's never run a team this good, and if he screws this up...

(6) Denver - I didn't like last year's midseason switch to Cutler, either, but again, it is what it is. They'll run the ball and play solid defense, but you also have to wonder about their psyche a little considering how last season ended and the offseason deaths of two teammates.

Kansas City - Johnson will have to continue to carry the Chiefs to whatever success they're gonna have, because the rest of this team? Not that great.

Oakland - Dear Lord. Their quarterbacks are a has-been, a never-was, and an MIA. Their offensive line is dismal. Their new coach got sick during training camp. Can things actually get worse?

Fantasy Football Draft Report (2007) (2)

And so the New Jersey Seagulls name migrates to Rob's JackSux league, now in its fourth(?) incarnation. Rob was happy he didn't pick first again. Me, I ended up in the 10/11 slot, which I hate because it's a whole lot of waiting.

I'm also not a fan of what the auto-drafter cooked up for me on Tuesday night, either.

1 (10). RB Rudi Johnson
2 (11). QB Carson Palmer

In a perfect world these picks would be reversed. Palmer is running both of my squads and Rudi's kind of the forgotten man in the Bengals' offense even though he rushed for 1300 yards last season.

3 (30) WR Larry Fitzgerald. I'm a bigger fan of his teammate Anquan Boldin, but this is a Perfectly Acceptable Alternative.

4 (31) WR T.J. Houshmandzadeh. All right, this is getting eerie.

5 (50.) WR Hines Ward. Always reliable and should bounce back now that Ben's got his head back on straight.

6 (51). RB DeAngelo Williams. WTF? Is this the same team? (I know I copied my pre-draft rankings, but still.) I like this pick even less here than I did in the other league. Funny that in both leagues, Williams was sort of the tipping point to kick off the second tier of running backs, you know, the guys who split carries or the ones that nobody's quite sure about.

7 (70). WR Laveranues Coles. He's a Seagulls favorite and has been for years.

8 (71). TE Vernon Davis. Now this I like. Davis has a lot of potential but was hurt most of last year. He's a guy who could really help an improved 49ers offense.

9 (90). K Nate Kaeding
10 (91). Denver DEFENSE

The kicker and defense runs started in the ninth round at about the same time, with Kaeding sparking the kicker run after Vinatieri went earlier in the round.

11 (110). WR Chris Chambers. See what I said about Marty Booker in the aPa draft and add 15 or so.

12 (111). QB Ben Roethlisberger. This was a surprise and a potential steal this late. I think he's gonna bounce back big-time (granted, it'd be hard not to).

13 (130). WR Bernard Berrian. Rex's deep threat - if he can get the ball to him.

14 (131). RB Vernand Morency. And here's where things go south. This guy's hurt, and he's only going to be a backup when he does come back.

15 (150) TE David Martin. Who?

16 (151) San Francisco DEFENSE. Why?

The Ultimate Guest List: Addendum

Guess who else is invited to the party:



But since I'm 99.44% sure the restraining orders against you people cover mysterious, unsolicited packages, you're probably better off getting me something instead.

Return of Fantasy Football Draft Report

So we're doing something a little different in the aPa league this time around. The Criminal Intent division, which I'm in, is naming its teams after various NFL player-related legal infractions. Thus, this year's team? Chris Henry's Stash.

I had some computer problems Sunday night and I ended up getting to the draft late on a day off. Let's see how I did missing the first four rounds:

1 (9). RB Travis Henry. This'll be interesting because it's the first time a 1,000-yard rusher has ever been put into the Broncos' system, which I could probably get 800 yards out of. And with Tatum Bell gone, it's Henry's job.

2 (20). QB Carson Palmer. A top-5 quarterback in a league that leans on QBs and the second one off the board. This pick goes well with...

3 (37). WR T.J. Houshmandzadeh. CHAMPIONSHIP. Thank God this is an online league and I don't look like the guy in that commercial who can't pronounce his name. A No. 2 WR who puts up No. 1 WR numbers, the same as...

4 (48). WR Anquan Boldin. And here's another one of those guys. He's always put up numbers in the desert, but who knows what the Cardinals' new offense is gonna look like.

5 (65). RB DeAngelo Williams. So I was having computer problems getting into the draft and this is when I finally showed up as I was on the clock. I don't know what the Panthers' deal with DeShaun Foster is except that he can't stay healthy. Even so, I'm not a fan of this pick now that I look at it.

6 (76). QB Matt Leinart. I feel like I always take my second quarterback too early. I don't remember what the board looked like at this point, but there wasn't anyone else I saw and thought "I have to have that guy." Except maybe for...

7 (93). TE Dallas Clark. I did consider him for a few seconds at 6. I'm a little surprised he fell this far.

8 (104). WR D.J. Hackett. Has the inside track on the Seahawks' No. 2 WR spot and I'm counting on him as my main flex guy. This pick pissed somebody off, I think, possibly Jet. So that's always a good thing.

9 (121). RB LaMont Jordan. Bob said afterwards, "Well, it was bound to happen." But there's no quarterback in Oakland, Dominic Rhodes is suspended for the first four games, terrible O-line or not. And he's only a third guy here.

10 (132). Miami DEFENSE. Because you have to have one.

11 (149). K Robbie Gould. Same deal here.

12 (166). WR Marty Booker. His numbers might jump up if Trent Green has anything left.

13 (177). TE Marcus Pollard. He's a backup.

14 (188). WR Nate Burleson. If anything happens to Hackett, Burleson moves up a spot. He'll also provide return yards.

15 (205). WR Antwaan Randle El. The Redskins paid way too much for this guy last year and didn't get a whole lot back. It occurs to me that I have a lot of semi-interchangeable guys at the bottom of my roster, so there might be a move that comes out of this.

I Have GOT To Get Out Of This Business, Part VII

Undercover NBC Dateline reporter bolts from DEFCON 2007 by ZDNet's George Ou -- Undercover reporter Michelle Madigan (Associate Producer of NBC Dateline) got a little more than she bargained for when she tried to sneak in to DEFCON 2007 with hidden cameras to get someone to confess to a felony. When DEFCON staff announced the “spot the undercover reporter” game and told the audience that an undercover reporter [...]

We can also file this under "Things People Do To Make Their Jobs Much, Much Harder Than They Need To Be."

Sheesh.

If nothing else, the video's hilarious.

Out and Back: Transformers

Understand this before anything else, friends: There's a decent chance that I'm the biggest Transformers nit you know. The original cartoon was appointment television for me as a kid. (4 o'clock, Channel 29.) I've got over 100 Generation 1 figures in a box somewhere. I saw the 1986 animated movie in the theater when I was 11. I had a subscription to the comic book, for crying out loud. So when word got out that a live-action Transformers movie was actually being made, it got my attention. Then when the news came that Michael Bay was directing it ... well, I was expecting the worst.

Well, what a nice surprise this turned out to be.

The story is typical of a summer blockbuster, which means you can call it "uncomplicated" and "utterly preposterous" at best. It's less important in these comic book/video game/toy line adaptations, where the main sticking point is getting the origin and the characters right. We'll get to the characters later, but there are enough nods to the original canon back story (and an obvious but appropriately-timed callback to the animated film) that old-schooler me found Perfectly Acceptable.

I don't claim to be any kind of judge of acting talent, but Shia LeBouf's Sam stood out among some mostly unremarkable performances otherwise. (Nit Alert: It's Spike. WTF with this 'Sam' business.) Getting Peter Cullen on board to do Optimus Prime's voice was vital. (Apparently he got a standing ovation when he did his character intro at an advance screening.) That voice is so tied to that character that having someone else do it would have been tough to get past. It's not unlike a security blanket. I'm dead serious. Also, you've seen bits and pieces of them in the trailers, but the full transformations and effects are awesome.

However, it takes too long to get to the meat of the story. In fact, this movie manages to simultaneously be about 15 minutes too long and have a scene or two missing, which is no mean feat. Pacing's never been one of Bay's strong suits.

My biggest worry was that the movie would focus too much on the humans and not enough on the robots, since it's the robots' story that's being told. And sure enough, that's what we got. We really didn't get enough time to get to know the other Autobots. It was probably done that way because most of this movie's target audience is Transformers fans, and the assumption is that they already know the robots' characters and already have their own emotional investments in them as a result. But they still aren't developed enough, which leads to something that happens near the end of the film having a much, much smaller impact than it should. Also, I called the ending about 20 minutes before it happened.

It's not quite as good as the gushing reviews it's gotten, but it certainly isn't as bad as a lot of people like me feared it would be when the details started coming out. It's an enjoyable time-waste if nothing else.

Well, It Finally Happened

Yeah, so I haven't been around. What of it?

You can look back all throughout this blog and you'll find next to nothing about my romantic life.

Mostly because I'd be making it all up.

I've never been what you'd call "successful" with women. I think the root of it is an unusual apathy toward the whole thing during high school, where I was never really concerned with the fact that I didn't have a girlfriend at any point. To this day, I don't know why, and I feel like I never really caught up.

And the older you get, the harder it is just to meet single people. Couple that with my screwy work schedule and I just don't get the opportunities I'd like.

So naturally my mom's been getting concerned, because biologically, they've failed unless and until I reproduce. (I actually read this somewhere once that that's why parents make a big deal out of having grandchildren. Their job isn't done until you do.) She actually hadn't mentioned anything about it the last few times we'd talked, though.

I think deep in my heart, I knew this day would come, but I never really expected it.

I got an email from her on Sunday. One of the doctors she works with has an assistant who he thinks I might want to meet. This is all on my mom, though, because she's told everyone she works with that her 32-year-old son is single.

Yep... the other shoe just dropped. I now officially have one of 'those' mothers.