- the weather station in Allentown apparently being knocked out Friday night;
- my car battery dying in the office parking lot;
- the jump start not taking;
- getting three different pieces of advice on what to do when I call AAA;
- Saturday night at the hotel without Food Network;
- having to dig out of a parking space at the apartment that I just pulled into, which is so wrong it will require its own PowerPoint presentation
I'll elaborate later. Suffice to say if the Eagles lose again today, I won't be held responsible for my actions.
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Friday, January 21, 2005
Two Quick Things
- I can't confirm this, but I'm almost positive "Tilt" stole the "Playmakers" theme music.
- They actually sell the oil/vinegar/spices mixture (billed as salt, pepper, and "other spices") as "Hoagie Seasoning" now. I think convenience has gone too far.
- They actually sell the oil/vinegar/spices mixture (billed as salt, pepper, and "other spices") as "Hoagie Seasoning" now. I think convenience has gone too far.
Monday, January 17, 2005
By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Division Edition: Double Your Digits, Double Your Fun
YOU ARE LOOKING LIVE at The Big Ketchup Dispenser. What's that about Ben's thumb? Comedy is hearing Dick Enberg say "geeked up". It was on the punt return where the official blew out his hammy or whatever happened to him, right? Dude just tripped and fell. Is it my imagination or has Ben been awful so far? The playoffs are a whole different beast. And Ben's day just got worse. What WAS that? Despite all this, the Jets still need another score and they're not getting it. This is the Steelers' M.O. - chewing up yards and time on the ground. Tie game! Oooh, big catch by McCareins there. I don't know about this, folks. HE HIT THE CROSSBAR! HE HIT THE CROSSBAR! We weren't sure what it hit at first; the crossbar or the post.
Now... holy crap, what was THAT? That was terrible. They're gonna get another shot. Now THERE'S a stat - that "longest opposing field goal in Heinz Field history." Who dug that up? And with that in mind, why aren't you trying to get closer? He missed AGAIN? Are you shitting me? (Well, no... he's really not that good.) That's "Nick Anderson at the end of Game 1 of the '95 Finals" bad. Did anyone catch Pennington looking at the coin before the OT flip? Some study said that 71% of coin flips land on the side that was up before the coin was tossed. I think Reed's got a little more ice water in his veins than Kaeding did. And with that, Doug Brien's thoroughly mediocre career should come to an end.
Line Of The Weekend: "I'm not going to say it was a miracle, because that's crippled people getting up and walking, the blind seeing. But that's the closest thing to it I've ever seen." - Larry Foote, Steelers linebacker
Moose is absolutely right - that's the last thing the Rams wanted to see to start the game. Vick's even fast in slow motion. What, another Kevin Curtis sighting? Nobody realizes that Dunn rushed for over 1100 yards this season. You can't ignore him like that. Did anyone even touch him on the second touchdown? How exactly do you leave Holt wide open like that? That's an odd formation to set up in for a punt. Ah, so that's why "special teams" were being mentioned so often in pre-game. You get the feeling it's over? OMG A PEERLESS PRICE SIGHTING. Now it's definitely over.
I don't know, folks; they don't look rusty to me. Of course, it helps that the Vikings' corners are playing off these guys like they're Duper and Clayton or something. Holy crap! Mitchell actually did something! You can sort of tell already that Moss isn't going to be effective - if he has to stop to catch the ball, he's not getting started again. How Mitchell caught that and the three Vikings in front of him didn't I'll never know. That's just confirmation that yeah, it's gonna be your day. One description of the FUBAR fake field goal: "This turned into a Chinese fire drill." And they should've just kicked the damn thing in the first place. That was basically the equivalent of Culpepper fumbling at the 1 in the first game. That second interception to Trotter was Evil Favre-esque, it was so bad. This, of course, was the easy part.
What the HELL? Is this LIVE? That wasn't in the forecast! The Colts desperately need to score first to have a chance, and that's not gonna happen when you're dropping passes like that, which these guys don't do. You know this is the first good team Dillon's played on in about 10 years? What's saving the Colts right now is that the Pats aren't getting touchdowns, either. What's hurting them is that Peyton isn't getting any help from anyone. Then the Patriots just played keep-away and didn't let the Colts' offense back onto the field. They only had the ball for 37 minutes? It seemed like a lot longer.
You get the feeling that if Peyton wasn't a peace-loving man, he'd be in a clock tower right about now? You sort of have to feel for him at this point (unless you're a Pats fan, of course) because you know he'd give the record back if he could beat these guys just once. The Pats did it to him again. But the Pats do this to a lot of people.
Now... holy crap, what was THAT? That was terrible. They're gonna get another shot. Now THERE'S a stat - that "longest opposing field goal in Heinz Field history." Who dug that up? And with that in mind, why aren't you trying to get closer? He missed AGAIN? Are you shitting me? (Well, no... he's really not that good.) That's "Nick Anderson at the end of Game 1 of the '95 Finals" bad. Did anyone catch Pennington looking at the coin before the OT flip? Some study said that 71% of coin flips land on the side that was up before the coin was tossed. I think Reed's got a little more ice water in his veins than Kaeding did. And with that, Doug Brien's thoroughly mediocre career should come to an end.
Line Of The Weekend: "I'm not going to say it was a miracle, because that's crippled people getting up and walking, the blind seeing. But that's the closest thing to it I've ever seen." - Larry Foote, Steelers linebacker
Moose is absolutely right - that's the last thing the Rams wanted to see to start the game. Vick's even fast in slow motion. What, another Kevin Curtis sighting? Nobody realizes that Dunn rushed for over 1100 yards this season. You can't ignore him like that. Did anyone even touch him on the second touchdown? How exactly do you leave Holt wide open like that? That's an odd formation to set up in for a punt. Ah, so that's why "special teams" were being mentioned so often in pre-game. You get the feeling it's over? OMG A PEERLESS PRICE SIGHTING. Now it's definitely over.
I don't know, folks; they don't look rusty to me. Of course, it helps that the Vikings' corners are playing off these guys like they're Duper and Clayton or something. Holy crap! Mitchell actually did something! You can sort of tell already that Moss isn't going to be effective - if he has to stop to catch the ball, he's not getting started again. How Mitchell caught that and the three Vikings in front of him didn't I'll never know. That's just confirmation that yeah, it's gonna be your day. One description of the FUBAR fake field goal: "This turned into a Chinese fire drill." And they should've just kicked the damn thing in the first place. That was basically the equivalent of Culpepper fumbling at the 1 in the first game. That second interception to Trotter was Evil Favre-esque, it was so bad. This, of course, was the easy part.
What the HELL? Is this LIVE? That wasn't in the forecast! The Colts desperately need to score first to have a chance, and that's not gonna happen when you're dropping passes like that, which these guys don't do. You know this is the first good team Dillon's played on in about 10 years? What's saving the Colts right now is that the Pats aren't getting touchdowns, either. What's hurting them is that Peyton isn't getting any help from anyone. Then the Patriots just played keep-away and didn't let the Colts' offense back onto the field. They only had the ball for 37 minutes? It seemed like a lot longer.
You get the feeling that if Peyton wasn't a peace-loving man, he'd be in a clock tower right about now? You sort of have to feel for him at this point (unless you're a Pats fan, of course) because you know he'd give the record back if he could beat these guys just once. The Pats did it to him again. But the Pats do this to a lot of people.
Monday, January 10, 2005
By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, The Wild Card Edition: Three More For The Road
YOU ARE LOOKING LIVE at The House That Microsoft Built, Albeit Indirectly. As I said before, I wouldn't have bet this game if you put my family in front of a firing squad. And the Rams score first, which is exactly what the Seahawks didn't need. Nobody's broken a big run yet, which is mildly surprising. Seahawks need a touchdown here - they can't go into the locker room with only two field goals. Got it! Who hooked up the time machine to the Rams' offense? And just like the first two meetings, it's not Holt and Bruce that are making the big plays... it's these other guys. OK, Hasselbeck, you've ben here before, sort of. Are they gonna pull this off? Not if you CAN'T HOLD ON TO THE BALL. You've gotta catch that. And Hasselbeck had to throw it - he wouldn't have made it if he'd tried to run it in. Jerry Rice has had the best hands on his teams for a long time. But now I'm pretty sure that's a BAD thing. Holmgren looked like he was about to cry.
"And our crew hasn't been here in so long we almost couldn't find the place." Pennington's arm looks fine to me; how abou the rest of you? Is somebody gonna score in this game? Get off the field, Marty; he was acting. I didn't think McCardell got the second foot down initially, either - black-on-blue makes it hard to tell at speed. CLANK! Oh, that went in? Crazy. You know who's not impressing me? The Chargers' secondary. Holy crap! It's Buddy and Gilbride all over again! Yeah, Herm, you gotta punt this away - Doug Brien isn't very good. Didn't this happen in the first game? One more chance for the Bolts - INcomplete? Wait, what? Roughing The Passer? Look at it this way, Barton: there are worse places to be left abandoned and jobless than San Diego. If you were still with the Raiders, they'd have you killed.
Aaaaand we're going to overtime. This could go on forever. Or not... or maybe it still will. Like I said earlier, kid, there are worse places to be left abandoned and jobless than San Diego.
I think I know how this is gonna turn out. Just a feeling. Oh, so they're not throwing to Marvin at ALL. All right, not a problem. "All right, Dallas, we're gonna run 'We Both Fall Down.' OK?" "OK." Isn't this how last year's game started? It's one thing if Peyton's throwing TD passes left and right. But for him to score on a sneak... that's just disheartening. Man, the Broncos are getting flat-out embarrassed out here. I know I'm late on this, but did Plummer see Johnny Damon and think, "You know, it's worth a shot"? The lesson here: Never question your opponents' manhood before a playoff game. And Harrison pancaking Champ had to be the worst possible insult.
And starting things off in this sure-to-be orgy of points:... Moe Williams? And minutes later Moss (who just doesn't fucking get it) gets into the act. It's still extremely early, though, and these may be the two worst defenses in playoff history. WHOOP! I wish I'd seen Morten slip on that field goal attempt. Bounce, bounce. Uh-oh, it's Bad Favre. This could be hazardous. His brain freeze flip to Franks had everyone on the field and the announcers cracking up and may be the comedy moment of 2005. Wow, the Packers' secondary is absolutely atrocious.
Poor Marcus Robinson. First Marty Booker, and now Nate Burleson have stolen his career. What do you mean, you can't cover a one-legged Moss (who just doesn't fucking get it)? And what the hell was THAT? Still, this is what happens when you give a rat's ass for once. Can anyone show me a shred of evidence that the Vikings would win this game? And I think Brett's coming back only because I don't think he wants his last game to be as bad as this one was.
"And our crew hasn't been here in so long we almost couldn't find the place." Pennington's arm looks fine to me; how abou the rest of you? Is somebody gonna score in this game? Get off the field, Marty; he was acting. I didn't think McCardell got the second foot down initially, either - black-on-blue makes it hard to tell at speed. CLANK! Oh, that went in? Crazy. You know who's not impressing me? The Chargers' secondary. Holy crap! It's Buddy and Gilbride all over again! Yeah, Herm, you gotta punt this away - Doug Brien isn't very good. Didn't this happen in the first game? One more chance for the Bolts - INcomplete? Wait, what? Roughing The Passer? Look at it this way, Barton: there are worse places to be left abandoned and jobless than San Diego. If you were still with the Raiders, they'd have you killed.
Aaaaand we're going to overtime. This could go on forever. Or not... or maybe it still will. Like I said earlier, kid, there are worse places to be left abandoned and jobless than San Diego.
I think I know how this is gonna turn out. Just a feeling. Oh, so they're not throwing to Marvin at ALL. All right, not a problem. "All right, Dallas, we're gonna run 'We Both Fall Down.' OK?" "OK." Isn't this how last year's game started? It's one thing if Peyton's throwing TD passes left and right. But for him to score on a sneak... that's just disheartening. Man, the Broncos are getting flat-out embarrassed out here. I know I'm late on this, but did Plummer see Johnny Damon and think, "You know, it's worth a shot"? The lesson here: Never question your opponents' manhood before a playoff game. And Harrison pancaking Champ had to be the worst possible insult.
And starting things off in this sure-to-be orgy of points:... Moe Williams? And minutes later Moss (who just doesn't fucking get it) gets into the act. It's still extremely early, though, and these may be the two worst defenses in playoff history. WHOOP! I wish I'd seen Morten slip on that field goal attempt. Bounce, bounce. Uh-oh, it's Bad Favre. This could be hazardous. His brain freeze flip to Franks had everyone on the field and the announcers cracking up and may be the comedy moment of 2005. Wow, the Packers' secondary is absolutely atrocious.
Poor Marcus Robinson. First Marty Booker, and now Nate Burleson have stolen his career. What do you mean, you can't cover a one-legged Moss (who just doesn't fucking get it)? And what the hell was THAT? Still, this is what happens when you give a rat's ass for once. Can anyone show me a shred of evidence that the Vikings would win this game? And I think Brett's coming back only because I don't think he wants his last game to be as bad as this one was.
Saturday, January 8, 2005
I Have GOT To Get Out Of This Business, Part III
Education Department Paid Commentator to Promote Law
By Greg Toppo, USA TODAY
Seeking to build support among black families for its education reform law, the Bush administration paid a prominent black pundit $240,000 to promote the law on his nationally syndicated television show and to urge other black journalists to do the same.
The campaign, part of an effort to promote No Child Left Behind (NCLB), required commentator Armstrong Williams "to regularly comment on NCLB during the course of his broadcasts," and to interview Education Secretary Rod Paige for TV and radio spots that aired during the show in 2004.
Williams said Thursday he understands that critics could find the arrangement unethical, but "I wanted to do it because it's something I believe in."
The top Democrat on the House Education Committee, Rep. George Miller of California, called the contract "a very questionable use of taxpayers' money" that is "probably illegal." He said he will ask his Republican counterpart to join him in requesting an investigation.
The contract, detailed in documents obtained by USA TODAY through a Freedom of Information Act request, also shows that the Education Department, through the Ketchum public relations firm, arranged with Williams to use contacts with America's Black Forum, a group of black broadcast journalists, "to encourage the producers to periodically address" NCLB. He persuaded radio and TV personality Steve Harvey to invite Paige onto his show twice. Harvey's manager, Rushion McDonald, confirmed the appearances.
...
"I respect Mr. Williams' statement that this is something he believes in," said Bob Steele, a media ethics expert at The Poynter Institute for Media Studies. "But I would suggest that his commitment to that belief is best exercised through his excellent professional work rather than through contractual obligations with outsiders who are, quite clearly, trying to influence content."
----------------------------
Yeah, and people wonder why nobody trusts the news media anymore.
How come nobody wants to buy my opinion on something? (Answer: Because no sane man would pay for it.)
By Greg Toppo, USA TODAY
Seeking to build support among black families for its education reform law, the Bush administration paid a prominent black pundit $240,000 to promote the law on his nationally syndicated television show and to urge other black journalists to do the same.
The campaign, part of an effort to promote No Child Left Behind (NCLB), required commentator Armstrong Williams "to regularly comment on NCLB during the course of his broadcasts," and to interview Education Secretary Rod Paige for TV and radio spots that aired during the show in 2004.
Williams said Thursday he understands that critics could find the arrangement unethical, but "I wanted to do it because it's something I believe in."
The top Democrat on the House Education Committee, Rep. George Miller of California, called the contract "a very questionable use of taxpayers' money" that is "probably illegal." He said he will ask his Republican counterpart to join him in requesting an investigation.
The contract, detailed in documents obtained by USA TODAY through a Freedom of Information Act request, also shows that the Education Department, through the Ketchum public relations firm, arranged with Williams to use contacts with America's Black Forum, a group of black broadcast journalists, "to encourage the producers to periodically address" NCLB. He persuaded radio and TV personality Steve Harvey to invite Paige onto his show twice. Harvey's manager, Rushion McDonald, confirmed the appearances.
...
"I respect Mr. Williams' statement that this is something he believes in," said Bob Steele, a media ethics expert at The Poynter Institute for Media Studies. "But I would suggest that his commitment to that belief is best exercised through his excellent professional work rather than through contractual obligations with outsiders who are, quite clearly, trying to influence content."
----------------------------
Yeah, and people wonder why nobody trusts the news media anymore.
How come nobody wants to buy my opinion on something? (Answer: Because no sane man would pay for it.)
Tuesday, January 4, 2005
By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 17: States of Emergency
YOU ARE LOOKING LIVE at a fine video tribute to arguably the greatest Eagle ever. (He and Bednarik are 1-2 depending on how old-school you may be.) And now it gets ugly. Eagles fans tended to understand why they did this, but they just wished the backups, well, played better.
The worst outdoor team in the league goes outdoors against a very good defense needing to win? This won't go well. Or WILL IT? Tip drill~~~~ And you know your defense is crap when the Redskins break the 18-point barrier on you. Excuse me, Mr. Moss? I'm sorry, where in the blue hell do you think you're going? Shouldn't you be out there trying to RECOVER THE ONSIDE KICK? If I ran that outfit, he'd never play for me again.
This Saints run just saved everybody's jobs and that's not right. Memo to Aaron Brooks: You're still not better than Jake.
Let me tell you something about this Willie Parker: He's the FOURTH running back. The FOURTH. You gotta make a field goal that short. Aaaaand it's a FUMBLE! OK, you've gotta beat the B- and C-teamers; I don't care who they are.
I can only assume that the Bills game was already over by the time CBS switched us to Jets/Rams, since nobody was really talking about the Jets needing to win at that point. Oh, that's why I can't see anything. The cable back here's frayed. What? Oh, right, the game. Apparently Herm made another curious timing decision or something. You're trusting Doug Brien outside of 42 yards? This is Doomed To Failure. Told ya! Here come the Rams again... it's good. So they're in.
Didn't we do this last year with these same two teams? And didn't it start this way the first time back then, too? And isn't it going to end the same way as back then, too?
What an anticlimactic ending this is. Eli's been making strides, but he hasn't won. I'm totally not sorry to see Key snap his ankle like that. This Julius Jones? He's good. Is this the Seattle game again? C'mon Eli. And Tiki's going after like 12 team records or something. A draw play? Touchdown! Now THAT'S cojones.
RANKINGS
TOP 3:
1. Pittsburgh - 15-1? Whoda thunk it?
2. New England - *cracks neck*
3. (tie) Indianapolis - Wait 'till next week
(tie) Philadelphia - Stumbling on a down note
BOTTOM 3:
30. Miami - "St. Nick", indeed
31. San Francisco - Should probably trade the pick
32. Cleveland - Starting from scratch... again
The worst outdoor team in the league goes outdoors against a very good defense needing to win? This won't go well. Or WILL IT? Tip drill~~~~ And you know your defense is crap when the Redskins break the 18-point barrier on you. Excuse me, Mr. Moss? I'm sorry, where in the blue hell do you think you're going? Shouldn't you be out there trying to RECOVER THE ONSIDE KICK? If I ran that outfit, he'd never play for me again.
This Saints run just saved everybody's jobs and that's not right. Memo to Aaron Brooks: You're still not better than Jake.
Let me tell you something about this Willie Parker: He's the FOURTH running back. The FOURTH. You gotta make a field goal that short. Aaaaand it's a FUMBLE! OK, you've gotta beat the B- and C-teamers; I don't care who they are.
I can only assume that the Bills game was already over by the time CBS switched us to Jets/Rams, since nobody was really talking about the Jets needing to win at that point. Oh, that's why I can't see anything. The cable back here's frayed. What? Oh, right, the game. Apparently Herm made another curious timing decision or something. You're trusting Doug Brien outside of 42 yards? This is Doomed To Failure. Told ya! Here come the Rams again... it's good. So they're in.
Didn't we do this last year with these same two teams? And didn't it start this way the first time back then, too? And isn't it going to end the same way as back then, too?
What an anticlimactic ending this is. Eli's been making strides, but he hasn't won. I'm totally not sorry to see Key snap his ankle like that. This Julius Jones? He's good. Is this the Seattle game again? C'mon Eli. And Tiki's going after like 12 team records or something. A draw play? Touchdown! Now THAT'S cojones.
RANKINGS
TOP 3:
1. Pittsburgh - 15-1? Whoda thunk it?
2. New England - *cracks neck*
3. (tie) Indianapolis - Wait 'till next week
(tie) Philadelphia - Stumbling on a down note
BOTTOM 3:
30. Miami - "St. Nick", indeed
31. San Francisco - Should probably trade the pick
32. Cleveland - Starting from scratch... again
Sunday, January 2, 2005
Video Game Sounds
Obviously you'll need to turn the sound on/up
I got 11 of 18. The Frogger one's still pissing me off. I must be remembering it differently, because I'm positive that's not it.
I got 11 of 18. The Frogger one's still pissing me off. I must be remembering it differently, because I'm positive that's not it.
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