What the... oh my God. The Patriots... DIDN'T SCORE FIRST. THE CENTER CANNOT HOLD. Where's Corey Dillon? See, this is what Good Kerry's capable of. And lookit Moss making moves. Oh, there's Corey Dillon. How is Oakland still in this game? I get the feeling this is what every Raider game's going to look like -- the offense keeps them in it, but the defense slows down at the end and gives it up.
Was that John Carney's penance for missing that extra point two years ago?
Gus Frerotte? You're kidding me, right? All right, let's see what nutty thing happens in this year's Dolphins opener. They won? Yeah, that qualifies. I think Jason Taylor might have collapsed before anyone caught him.
So when does the Bucs' "Drive A Cadillac" promotion start? There's another Alex Smith? And this one's actually playing? Sweet. You know, if the Vikings are going to miss Matt Birk that much every week, this could get problematic in a hurry. At least their defense scored a touchdown. Wait, what?
How 'bout that new Chiefs defense? No, I'm serious. Seven fumbles, three sacks and a pick + Priest and Larry Johnson running all over the place + Arrowhead being a notoriously tough place to play = what happened here.
The Giants' defense isn't all that great, and the Cardinals' vaunted offense couldn't run the ball on them. 1.5 yards per carry? Another few weeks of this and I may revise my prediction of seven wins down to five.
Much as I hate to ever give Keyshawn props, that was some nice footwork on that one big catch. Did Dallas do nothing but blitz on that final drive by the Chargers? And why didn't LDT touch the ball at all? I honestly forgot Antonio Gates wasn't active this week due to the contract thing.
The 49ers? You're kidding me, right? And I'm still convinced that Fox is using a guy from the local affiliate and one of their online columnists to broadcast 49ers games this year. What's sad is that Arnaz Battle may be the best quarterback on the team at the moment. This game proves Butch's belief that there are no good choices when picking an NFC West winner. This is what happens when you have an actual coach on the sideline. That blood-curdling scream you hear? Two words: Suicide. Pools.
Joey's Dan's nephew? I thought they were like second cousins or something. Boy, the Packers look... sickly. Learn from Javon Walker, kids: Don't hold out. Mariucci broke out "Norris Division" in his postgame interview. Swank.
Theismann mentioned kind of off-handedly that Jamal looked like he was 30 pounds lighter. It showed. The Ravens can't keep this offense bottled up all night, can they? There's just too many guys to worry about. You know it's bad when third-stringers are catching touchdowns. WTF Stover. You get the feeling that if the Colts can get to 14, this baby's over? "Kyle Boller or Anthony Wright?" reminds me of the scene in Under Siege 2 when Morris Chestnut's character is about to get shot and the guy asks "You want to see it coming, or would you rather turn around?" I don't know if this is the beginning of a trend -- it was only the Ravens' offense, after all -- but if it is...
Oh, what the hell is this?? And no, Trotter for Mathis is not an even trade. This has thrown the Eagles off badly. Mike Labinjo? I didn't even know he was on the team. This isn't starting well. You're seeing already the difference Trotter makes in the run defense -- you'll remember, last year after he rejoined the starting lineup, the Eagles' rushing yards allowed per game dropped by about 25. Did Vick need to jump? We all knew he was going in. It's almost not a season opener unless Donovan fumbles. Does ANYONE want the ball? It's amazing that they're still in this game. Has Akers ever missed twice in a game before? Nice job by the camera guys to find Reid running over to the official to call that last time out. OK, that wasn't so good. But they're not going to panic. I shouldn't either.
Overriding Theme: It didn't seem like anyobody was really "on" this week. Curious.
FANTASY REPORT:
aPa SmackDown!: We'll have to go back and check, but the 41.54 points in my win over Ted's Toronto Cardinals (31.93) may be a Seagulls record for lowest score in a victory, if not overall. Marvin was the only player to break 10 points. On either team.
JackSux: Watching the Sunday night game, I was worried that I'd forgotten to replace Matt Stover with Jeff Wilkins. Forunately, I hadn't, and Wilkins' 15 points (as opposed to Stover's measly one) helped me in a big way as I beat Midway Madness, 76.76-51.81. Next up are Jen's Ice Cold Bruschis.
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