Monday, October 12, 2020

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 4: Turn and Split

Mark Rypien's nephew is STARTING. Joe Flacco is ACTIVE. It's THURSDAY NIGHT.

Both Brett AND Mark have played against Brady, as Brett entered the game late on Sunday. There's no good reason Mekhi Becton isn't automatically starting for the Jets. He's their best player! Frank Gore with the catch. Whistle blew before the ball came out, refs say. Broncos lost Jurrell Casey on Sunday. Broncos blitz, Darnold somehow survives it and takes off. Four Broncos miss tackles. TOUCHDOWN. My God. 46 yards. Buck: "That's gotta make Vic Fangio sick."



Good run and good blocking for Gordon to get 15. KJ Hamler tries to one-hand this pass and gets mugged in midair. Good throw to Tim Patrick for 21. Jets sniff out a screen, forcing a field goal try. It's good. Alexander Johnson gets Darnold this time (he's the one who  missed the blitz on the touchdown run.) A little surprised they didn't throw a flag. Big run by Gore, but it'll come back because of offensive holding. Darnold walks off the field, and Flacco is in. Aikman discusses his broken collarbone and suspects that's what's happened here.


Jeudy wins a jump ball and walks the last five yards for a touchdown! Ball went through Desir's hands, reminding you that the Jets haven't had a corner worth a damn since Darrelle Revis's prime. Darnold back on the sideline and throwing. He's back in on 3rd and 5. And he gets sacked.

Alec Ogletree slugs Garrett Bolles and gets caught. Desir with a great sideline interception. Are his feet in? Yeah, that's a great shot of the dirt on the field kicking up. A Jets WR named Smith wearing #16? They bring Brad back? Who dis? Receiver Cager goes down and grabs his hamstring.


Field goal from 46 goes left, but there's a flag. Unnecessary roughness on the Broncos gives the Jets a first down. Ficken tries again from 26 and this one's good. Tied at 10. Rypien's made some quality throws tonight. Gordon can't score from the 1-foot line. Or maybe he did? Refs say touchdown. Jamison Crowder's still in the league? (No. He's a Jet.) Two straight catches for him. Ficken hits from 38. Broncos' first drive of the second half ends in a punt. How was that pass interference? Darnold can't complete a pass (and why are you throwing to Frank Gore here?) and the Jets kick another field goal.


Gordon rips off a 15-yard run. Rypien throwing with confidence, hitting Fant for a first down. That's a STRIKE to Patrick for a touchdown. Another sack for the Broncos. This is a RETURN. The punter took him out or that would have been a touchdown. McManus connects from 54. 27-16 Broncos.



I honestly don't remember the MetLife surface being this notorious. What's going on down there? Oh wow, we almost had a BIG MAN INTERCEPTION but an offensive lineman knocked it our of his hands. Intercepted! Desir! Touchdown!


Rookie mistake by Rypien — there were three guys around Jeudy. Jets go for two to tie it. Incomplete. Rypien throws another pick. Broncos challenge the spot on this Crowder catch. Aikman acknowledges all the second-guessing that will come out of this regardless of the outcome. They move it back and re-measure... and it's short. So that reverses the call, it's fourth and 1, and the Jets send the field goal team out. It's good and the Jets lead. Rypien is sacked, but Quinnen Williams gets called for a face mask. Rypien overthrows Deshaun Hamilton in the end zone (and it looked like Hamilton just didn't reach for the ball soon enough), but finds Patrick on the next play for 31. Gordon with a bad drop. McManus field goal puts the Broncos back on top. Bausby almost got that interception. Chubb sacks Darnold on 4th and 3! Two minutes left and that's probably it. Gordon gets a great block (from Rypien!) and takes it 43 yards for a touchdown. That's definitely it. LOL they're plugging the FOX TNF debut next week as a Super Bowl rematch (as it's Brady and the Bucs visiting Nick Foles, who's now the Bears starter.) What the hell is going on? Why isn't this game over yet? Rypien just got pasted. Joe and Troy straight up roasting Gase for using his time outs down nine. "Thursday night slop." Fangio not even pretending to want to shake hands with Gase. (Broncos 37, Jets 28)

Signal Finder: CLE @ DAL, BAL @ WSH, LAC @ TB (end), BUF @ LV

Landry to Beckham for a touchdown! OK THEN. Prescott to new starting tight end Dalton Schultz for 25 yards. Touchdown CeeDee Lamb, who torched the "coverage" so badly he had to slow down and back up to catch the pass. Elliott helped pick up the blitz on that one. Lamb catches a deflection. Denzel Ward pastes the tight end Schultz, forcing a drop. Touchdown Cooper.


Beckham takes the pitch 23 yards, then Burkhardt notes that he has two career touchdown passes himself. Chubb down, holding his knee two plays later. These teams can't stop committing penalties. Mayfield to Beckham for 16 to get into the red zone. Touchdown Beckham! We're tied. Myles Garrett forces a fumble. Browns have it! They're rolling Mayfield out a LOT. Kareem Hunt powers through tackles and gets to the 1. Burkhardt isn't convinced Hunt was down, but Moose thinks his shoulder hit the ground. Touchdown to Hooper! Elliott starts the next drive with a nice run, but he fumbles at the end and the Browns recover! "D'Ernest"? OK then. Tough catch by Landry here, juggling it before securing it on his way down. Big run by the Browns' fourth running back. Touchdown Hunt. Dak's hard count fools the Cowboys and they end up punting. Browns don't throw to the sideline for some reason and Cody Parkey is back. 37-yarder ends the half. Landry gets swallowed up, makes the catch, and spins away from Trevon Diggs.Two plays later Diggs gets called for a face mask. Hunt runs for 14 and a touchdown! The Cowboys are getting dismantled on the ground. Burkhardt talks up offensive line coach Bill Callahan, who's always brought strong running games to his teams.  They finally get a stop on defense and that's a pretty good punt return by Lamb. Ronnie Harrison drops an interception. Schultz can't get away from Phillips on 3rd and 10, forcing a fourth down. Cowboys go for it and Phillips knocks down the pass. Browns take over, then get a free first down on an unnecessary roughness call. Hunt for 11. Hooper can't make the first down and Parkey comes on again. It's good! 41-14 (!!) Browns. The Cowboys are kin dof putting the lie to Burkhardt's statement earlier that Elliott's not really part of this offense. Touchdown Elliott. Or... not, as the ball's at the 1, whereas two-point conversions are run from the 2. After realizing it, Burkhardt is told that they did get a first down. They're still not sure how he didn't score. Pollard gets it on third and goal. They convert the two-point try, putting them down... 19. (41-22.) Prescott fires downfield to Schultz, who takes a hit, bounces off and goes into the end zone. 6:31 left. They go for two again, and Prescott picks it up on a keeper. Cowboys using their time outs? Mayfield badly overthrows Beckham on third down and the clock stops. That drive took only 15 seconds. Punt is short, but the Cowboys field it and lose yards. Prescott hasn't missed on this drive and the Browns are melting down. Prescott runs through tackles and gets to the 4. Cooper almost makes a ridiculous one-handed catch on a ball that Burkhardt wonders may have been intended for Lamb. Touchdown Lamb! Two point conversion is good and it's a three-point game! What you got, Browns? Onside kick? Why? Browns get it at midfield. Beckham almost gets buried on a double reverse, then gets a block, accelerates, and scores! THAT'S WHAT YOU GOT. Extra point is BLOCKED, but it goes into the end zone and the Browns fall on it. There's also a flag. Officials discuss it. The Cowboys were offside on the block, then they touched the ball, making it live. That's TWO points instead of one and it's 49-38.



True facts. 49 to 47. Back to the game and the Cowboys are back in desperation mode. There's Gallup. There's Cooper. Two minute warning. Note that they still have a time out. Prescott goes to the end zone, but the throw is high and almost intercepted.  Prescott tries it again and Ward DOES pick it off. Is this real? I'm not sure. But there are trends emerging. And if this does turn out to be real, this is where it started. (Browns 49, Cowboys 38)

Washington's backup return man limps into the locker room. Yes, backup return man. That's a hit. Ball's out! Ravens have it! Jackson rolls out and finds Hollywood, who makes a move and gets... to the 1. Touchdown Ingram. Washington replaced all of its running backs in the span of about three weeks and this rookie Antonio Gibson looks like a good one. Hopkins tries a 54-yarder. No good! Jackson keeps it on a draw. He's into space! Blocking. Touchdown! 50 yards! He held the ball up to celebrate but pulled it back in after seeing Darby, then breaks Darby's tackle at the end. I would also like to see a Ravens team 50-yard dash race. Quick pass to Gibson, who takes it 40 yards. He scores four plays later. Ravens picking on Washington's safeties. Mark Andrews goes across the field and Jackson eventually finds him. Touchdown Ravens. Jackson with a bad pass that Kendall Fuller picks off. Boykin never saw the ball. Some confusion as Rivera starts to run a play with five seconds left, but the whistle blows. Hopkins hits from 43 to end the half.


The Ravens continue to pick on the middle of Washington's defense. Andrews splits the defenders and hauls in his second touchdown catch of the day. McLaurin showing up big for Washington on this drive, picking up a 4th and 2. That sack puts Washington in 2nd and goal... from the 34. Good job, everyone. Haskins finds McKissick for nine to get to the 17. Offense stays on the field. Announcers disagree on this, with Catalon saying Washington should have kicked the field goal. This isn't even close. Stopped at the 9. Third and 11 and Jackson finds Snead, but he comes up a yard short. Tucker comes on and makes it. Washington drive ends and RGIII is on with 4:24 left. Harbaugh straight trolling with this move. Great leaping interception by Fuller. Haskins goes deep to McLaurin and it's caught at the 2! Sneak doesn't work. The next one does. Onside kick doesn't work because 2020.

(Ravens 31, Washington 17)


And there's Herbert's first mistake. And it looks like it'll be his last one today. (Buccaneers 38, Chargers 31)

So since Cam Newton appears to have been the only positive test on the Patriots, Patriots-Chiefs was moved to an early Monday night slot, Monday Night Football was pushed back a half-hour, and this becomes the big late national game. Bills get the ball first. Stefon Diggs is going to add so much to this offense. Like, here: Someone named Gabriel Davis beats the coverage and has an easy touchdown catch.


Levi Wallace can't haul in a pick off a deflection and now he's hurt. Carlson hits a 54-yarder to put the Raiders on the board. First quarter ends. Is that our first Masters promo of the year? Abram back on the field for the Raiders. Allen almost gets Beasley killed but that's a touchdown. Raiders missing Ruggs, Bryan Edwards, AND Trent Brown. Agholor 49-yard touchdown is called back by an illegal formation penalty. This is followed up with a very low throw that Agholor somehow catches. He makes another catch to get the Raiders into the red zone. Raiders settle for three. Archuleta elaborates on what I said last week: He can't remember a quarterback as raw as Allen was improving as much as he has. Spero Dedes adds that accuracy, his biggest improvement, is usually the least likely attribute to improve over time. Allen flings it out as he's being brought down, and Diggs makes a leaping catch. It's not enough for a first down, though, and the Bills kick a field goal as Allen heads for the locker room. Jacobs struggling to get traction. Josh Norman's a Bill? Why? Allen back on the sideline. That's the longest catch Witten's made in years. Carr to Waller to the 2. Carr spikes it. Touchdown Witten in the back of the end zone. Carr saw him late — he was open the whole time. 17-13 Bills at halftime. Jacobs with a good gain off of a pitch. Maybe that'll help. Gruden not happy that the drive ends, but the field goal puts the Raiders in the lead. Bills hand it to a receiver on fourth and 1 and get 13. Raiders eventually force a punt. Touchback. LOL the graphic for Patriots-Chiefs has Belichick instead of any Patriots player. Carr gets sacked. Ball comes out, but they say he was already down. Raiders punt. That's a good return. That catch by John Brown though! He reached out and caught it off the deflection. He thinks it's a touchdown. McDermott challenges. His second foot comes down in the end zone and the ball appears to break the plane. Call STANDS as the third quarter ends. After a LONG walk, Allen sneaks for the score. Raiders challenge this incompletion to Waller and get a reversal. Waller FUMBLES. Josh Norman? What? OK then, making me look like an idiot. DIGGS! 49 yards! Singletary finishes the drive off. (Bills 30, Raiders 23)


Al and Cris are masked, as per Santa Clara county regulations. 49ers getting Kittle and Deebo Samuel back. Eagles get the ball first. Jordan Mailata starting at left tackle. Pocket collapses and Wentz throws short of Sanders. Mullens overthrows Juszczyk, who would have scored easily if he hadn't. Kittle makes his first catch for 9 yards, but he needed 10. Lane Johnson already heading to the locker room. The Eagles' screen game is no longer working. Wentz throws on the run and finds Ward for a first down. This is an interception, isn't it? Christ.


Barnett and Hargrave get to Mullens. At least the defense held up. Ward also returning punts despite starting. Johnson back in. Wentz lofts one to Rodgers but Tartt breaks it up. That ball hung up there because Wentz had to make sure it got over Ziggy Ansah. 49ers blitz and Wentz spots Sanders in space. He gets to the 49ers' 11. Wentz fakes the option to Scott and takes it in himself. Cris says the Giants ran the exact same play last week. They're going for two here? They run play action and pass it to a wide-open Ertz. I don't get that but it worked. Kittle could kill the Eagles by himself. Double reverse to Samuel, which you have to expect, as they do this with him a LOT. They run the same play, but with Kittle. Screen to Aiyuk, who gets some blocks and then hurdles Epps to score. Slay went down during the play. Eagles go three and out again.



Kittle makes three guys miss before they being him down. Genard Avery with a sack.



Ertz just runs through people after taking this screen pass. Are they going to do something with Hurts in these situations or nah? False start squanders a third and 1 at midfield. Wentz ends up throwing it away. Kittle gets free and takes it 39 yards. Interception! That's McLeod, and the Eagles' first this season. Travis Fulghum catches his first-ever(?) pass. Hightower gets across midfield at the two-minute warning. Bad snap loses 17 yards. Then a sack. They just let Hurts keep it on 3rd and 34. 49ers get out of their own end but can't do anything before halftime.



McKinnon the early star of this opening drive, allowing Al to talk about how he's missed the last two years with knee injuries. Shovel pass to Wilson gets 11. Feels like the 49ers have gotten 11-15 yards on every play on this drive. Touchdown Kittle and that was entirely too easy. Al recaps the action as Heat-Lakers Game 3 just ended. Richard Rodgers with some solid yards after that catch. 49ers stack the box and Wentz flips it to Rodgers on 3rd and 1. Sanders can't handle a low throw. Wentz is chased out of the pocket and dives for the first down. Except the replay shows he stepped out of bounds short of the mark. 49ers challenge. Call REVERSED. Fourth and 1 and the Eagles are going for it. They eventually sneak it after some formation shifting and pick it up. Two Sanders runs get another first down. Offensive line can't hold up and whole Wentz doesn't get sacked, he has to rush all of those throws. Field goal is good. Kittle's 10th catch ends the third quarter. Josh Sweat sacks Mullens. Al tells us of the schedule changes and that Nantz and Romo are still in Kansas City pining for burnt ends. Cris: "So Romo's gonna do Monday night after all." Al breaks. Mullens throws too high for Bourne. LeBlanc forces a fumble? Yes! Eagles ball. He got it with his helmet! That's hilarious. They pitch it to Hurts, who was going to pass it back to Wentz, but he was covered, so Hurts just took it himself for four yards. Pass to Sanders comes up short. Fourth and 4 from the Niners' 37. Eagles throw a slant to Hightower and he converts it. Reverse to Ward goes nowhere. Wentz sprints out and throws a garbage pass that Scott catches, but there are two flags down. Defensive holding gives the Eagles a first down. Too much Hurts on this drive, as he fumbles the snap. Wentz lofts one to Fulghum... for a touchdown!

Extra point is good and it's 18-14. Pick-six! That's Alex Singleton, a former CFL star who usually only plays special teams. C.J. Beathard now in at quarterback. That seems rash, Kyle. Beathard's leading a drive here. 7 of 7 for 62. Sacked by Ridgeway. Beathard finds Aiyuk for a first down at the Eagles' 4. He badly overthrows Aiyuk in the end zone. Bourne makes the catch and stretches the ball for the touchdown. Oh, his knee's down. Officials change the call. McKinnon takes it in for an actual touchdown. 49ers go for two but Kittle drops it! Collinsworth wonders if Beathard could have taken that himself. It's 25-20 with 2:02 left. McAuley pops on to say that McKinnon should have been called for leading with the helmet but that never gets called on offensive players. Gould just said something to the officials. What are they planning? Eagles call time out, because the 49ers have options here: kick it deep, onside, Al was wondering if Gould was going to drop-kick it (he then points out that Gould doesn't do kickoffs, which is why all of this is notable) They try to skip it and it goes right to Richard Rodgers. Wentz takes the sack and the Eagles have to punt. Fair catch at the 12. Trent Williams, who hasn't had a great night, gets hit with a false start. Niners get to the Eagles' 45. The umpire's down! Graham ran into him.



They add five seconds to the clock, so there's 34 left. Beathard throws it away under pressure. Graham hits him on third down as he throws. Seven seconds. Hail Mary time. KNOCK IT DOWN! Eagles win! That end zone was packed. Kittle, Bourne, Samuel... that felt lucky. My God. They're in first place!


(Eagles 25, 49ers 20)



Brian Hoyer, NOT Jarret Stidham, starts for the Patriots at quarterback. And he's in a 3-0 hole that only isn't 7-0 because Mahomes and Watkins couldn't connect in the end zone. Three and out. GREAT. Hill muffs the Pats' punt on their next drive, but fortunately it goes out of bounds. Edwards-Helaire makes teh catch and gets the Chiefs out of their own end. Sammy Watkins sighting! Deep shot to Kelce for 25. Edwards-Helaire up the middle for 13. Drive dies after the false start on Eric Fisher and Butker hits from 39. Juan Thornhill picks off Hoyer! Two plays later, Watkins fumbles and the Patriots get it right back! Not sure why the Chiefs used a challenge... it's a first down regardless of where the tight end went down. Rex Burkhead makes an appearance. Folk field goal is good. Romo's wondering what's taking so long to call the penalty on this Harris run, and they pick the flag up. "Exactly." Good run by Burkhead. Folk field goal is good and it's 6-3. FUMBLE. Patriots pick it up. Wait, why are the Chiefs punting? They called it an incomplete pass? Romo is incredulous, while Nantz and Belichick seem confused. What happened? We come back from commercial and we find out that Mahomes was called in the grasp, making it a sack. Romo hates it. Steratore comes on and says that Tony Corrente should have announced what the ruling was, and that had Belichick challenged, they would have had the discretion to look at it even though the whistle blew. Nantz points out that after Calhoun gets the ball (it never hit the ground), Corrente points down, and that Belichick may have thought he was calling Calhoun down, not Mahomes. First offensive penalty this year against the Pats. They get the first down anyway. White gets 9 on 3rd and 6. This is Iowa coach Kirk Ferentz's son at center. Pass to White to the Chiefs' 14. Ten seconds left. Hoyer drops back, gets pressured, and Frank Clark sacks him! The half ends and they get NOTHING. That never happens to the Patriots and Hoyer's been around long enough to know better. 6-3 Chiefs at halftime.




Only JB, Cowher, and Simms are in the studio, as I think Boomer still does color for MNF on the radio. They talk about O'Brien's firing. Replay of the end of the half, and Hoyer signals for a time out when the Patriots didn't have any left. That's a good punt. The Patriots are saying it went off Hardman. I don't think it did. Chiefs start at their own 11. The Chiefs let Hoyer run for eight yards. Cut them all. Edelman helps every quarterback. Big time throw by Hoyer to Jamere Byrd for 25! Hoyer drops back on third down and fumbles! Chiefs ball! Wow. Mahomes finds Hill over the middle. Romo: "It's just a matter of time." He misses Kelce over the middle, then finds him down the sideline on the next play, and Kelce brings it inside and gets to the Pats' 20. That's 45 yards. Edwards-Helaire spins for the next five of 10 yards.


Screen to Hill... touchdown Chiefs! He hit the pylon with the ball and it knocked it out, but it still counts. Stidham in at quarterback. Mathieu picks him of fin the end zone, but he also interfered with N'Keal Harry in the field of play. Pats ball at the 8. Touchdown Harry! Dangerous throw by Mahomes into traffic falls incomplete. Jackson almost intercepted it and Hill almost caught it. Mahomes takes off and gets the first down, then goes out of bounds at the 20. Edwards-Helaire goes out at the 5. Jet sweep to Hardman. Touchdown! What? It goes through Edelman's hands and Mathieu has it! Touchdown Chiefs! Stidham sneaks on 4th and short and gets it. Pats have the ball at the Chiefs' 43 with 3:40 left. Stidham airmails this one and Fenton intercepts it.


This was a FAST game. (Chiefs 26, Patriots 10)

Little later start tonight. Levy says the Packers hope to maybe have fans for November 1 against the Vikings. Packers' D already talking trash. Ridley can't make a tough catch and the Falcons punt. That's not pass interference. Refs pick the flag up. Big run by Aaron Jones and the Packers are at the 8. Falcons completely lose Jones and he shrugs walking into the end zone. Ryan just misses Ridley again on third down. Packers put all three running backs in formation and throw downfield to Jamal Williams. Rodgers gets his free play and he hits Shepherd in the middle of the field. Shepherd makes a sliding catch at the goal line but doesn't get in. Packers go for it and Jamal Williams gets STUFFED. Julio Jones with his first catch. Gurley gets eight. That's anew franchise record for catches for Jones. Ryan escapes a sack and finds Jones over the middle on 3rd and 9. Falcons now face a fourth and 2 at the Packers' 11. They go for it, line up in the Wildcat with Ryan split out wide, and the Packers call time out. Ryan ends up having an easy run for the first down. Falcons settle for three after all that. That was 20 plays and it took more than 10 minutes. That's how you lose games. Rodgers finds MVS over the middle. Kazee down after offsetting penalties. Non-contact; that's rarely good. Packers take over and Rodgers hits Williams on a wheel route. Touchdown! Extra point is missed. 13-3. Packers force a punt. Rodgers escapes pressure and finds Williams in the middle of the field, and he works his way toward the sideline. Another pass to Williams comes up short of the first down. Fourth and two, I'd roll Rodgers out. They don't but he finds Malik Taylor for the first down. Rodgers to Tonyan again for the score. That was Rodgers' 200th touchdown pass at Lambeau, fifth-best all-time at one venue. (He's 14 behind Favre, for the record.) And now the Packers have used all four of their running backs. Rodgers throws a bomb but Isaiah Oliver breaks it up. That's only the Packers' sixth punt this season. No more Julio Jones tonight, apparently. Someone named Zaccheus makes a miracle catch off a deflection on a pass Ryan threw into triple coverage. How that wasn't picked off I'll never know. Gurley bounces a run outside and goes out of bounds at the 7. Touchdown Gurley. Falcons' new kicker Fry misses the extra point. Where's Koo? Groin strain, Levy says after the break. I can see how that would make it hard to kick. Touchdown to Tonyan AGAIN. That was QUICK. He was tackled and got up? And the defender didn't follow him?


Za'Darius Smith roughs Ryan to keep the drive going. Whoa, first and goal? Gurley goes left, gets a block from Ryan, and scores.

Crosby makes a field goal. 30-16 with 5:55 left. Feels like Ryan's thrown to everyone except Ridley since those first two misses. Riddick just read my mind. Ryan goes down but falls on his own fumble. Ridley drops it in the end zone on fourth down! Not a great throw by Ryan, and Adrian Amos was bearing down on Ridley. Still, though. At least the Falcons didn't blow a double-digit lead! Baby steps. (Packers 30, Falcons 16)

RANKINGS:
TOP 4:
1. Kansas City (4-0) — There are gonna be slugfests
2. Seattle (4-0) — Is Russ the first quarter MVP?
3. Green Bay (4-0) — Speaking of drafting quarterback you won't use...
4. Buffalo (4-0) — Yes, really

BOTTOM 4:
29. Detroit (1-3) — Maybe just don't bother taking the lead next time
30. Jacksonville (1-3) — Wait, Doug Marrone's still the coach?
31. N.Y. Giants (0-4) — They're somehow worse
32. N.Y. Jets (0-4) — Who's their best player? Anyone?

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Sunday, October 4, 2020

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 3: Down The Flagpole

Dolphins! Jaguars! THIS is THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL! And also why we're not really here.


You deserved better, champ.
This Grant play is weird. Rookie C.J. Henderson had to have thought Grant didn't catch it. Why else just stand there and not touch him down?



This Dolphins O-line starts two rookies and Ereck Flowers, who fortunately is not one of the tackles, and also fortunately, has found himself as a guard. Fitzpatrick slings one to Preston Williams in the back of the end zone. That's not a good punt, Jaguars. Did Fitzpatrick actually play for the Rams? Let's check. Myles Gaskin reaches up to pull that one down. Yeah, that's technically a horse collar. Toss to Grant, who makes moves and more moves (including faking out Henderson again) and picks up 30. Touchdown Jordan Howard, who's been relegated to a short-yardage/goal-line role. Lavishka Shenault catches a tough pass in traffic, bounces off two guys, and gains 16 yards on 3rd down. 14-0 Dolphins after one. Holy crap, this Cole catch. Jags are at the Dolphins' 11. Touchdown James Robinson, who picked his way through the defense. Jags challenge the first down on this Fitzpatrick scramble, and they get it reversed only for Fitzpatrick to sneak it on 4th and short. Holding on Chiasson keeps this drive going. Mike Gesicki with a leaping touchdown catch. Henderson having a rough night. Minshew sacked for 10, taking them out of field goal range. Oh, that was fourth down? The Dolphins have the ball, so. There's the first incompletion by Fitzpatrick tonight, and his first in 21 attempts going back to Sunday. Gesicki has a case for a flag there, too. Signal's been cutting out recently. That was a FAST three and out.

Let's not get crazy, Roob. Jags got a black kicker? Won't matter until at least the second half. Is Brian Flores the only good Belichick disciple? And as I ask that, they screw up a fourth and one by not getting the play off. Jags lose a fumble and a starting offensive lineman for making contact with an umpire. Replay shows he shoved the official's arm while he was on the ground. That's weak. Fitzpatrick keeper for a touchdown. Minshew overthrows Conley and misses a sure touchdown to end the third quarter. Looks like half the fans here are AEW wrestlers:

Also, you can apparently draw the face/heel line by who's wearing masks and who isn't. Minshew is chased from the pocket and... intercepted? NO, that hit the grass. Fourth down and Minshew dumps it off to Robinson. That's close but the refs mark it short. Jags challenge and lose as NFL Network shows the missed pass to Conley again. Call stands; Dolphins ball. Jaguars force a three and out, then make no attempt to throw deep on the ensuing drive even though they're in a no-huddle set. You need two touchdowns, guys! Jaguars get a fresh first and goal after that pass interference. Touchdown? They give it to Robinson, so, fine. Extra point missed. Fitzpatrick takes off on a scramble for some reason. Fitzpatrick catches his own deflected pass but gets taken down by Myles Jack. Montage of great NFL beards throughout the years.


Xavien Howard picks off Minshew to end it with 2:27 left, then grabs his knee. This is the Dolphins' first double-digit win in 38 games since December 2017. (Dolphins 31, Jaguars 13)

Signal Finder: CIN @ PHI, SF @ NYG, LAR @ BUF (end), CHI @ ATL (end), DAL @ SEA

So here's an interesting thing: The 49ers play at the Giants this week. Normally teams would stay on the other coast when they have back-to-back games, and the 49ers... kind of did? But instead of staying in Jersey, they went to the Greenbriar in West Virginia, probably to avoid the MetLife HQ turf. No Garoppolo, Mostert, and Kittle (again) so Nick Mullens will start. That's the second jet sweep they've run with rookie Brandon Aiyuk. Blake Martinez comes through unimpeded for a sack. Field goal is good. Devonta Freeman's a Giant now. The 49ers' defense is also missing five starters. Jones fires a shot to Tate for a first down. Then he finds Engram for another one. Engram fumbles on a reverse pitch and the 49ers have it! Why is Jordan Reed still playing? Wilson runs into his own man on 2nd and 6 and loses a yard. Touchdown pass to McKinnon is called back. Mullens to Reed in the end zone, but he's out of bounds and down holding his leg. Burkhardt talks about Reed's "extensive history injury" and never once says the phrase "multiple severe concussions." Field goal is good. 6-0 49ers. Play breaks down and Jones has to run for 18. Graham Gano hits from 52 for the Giants. Mullens suddenly misfiring. Gould misses from 55! I might have gone for it there. Jones hits Slayton for 23. Tied at 6 after this field goal. That defensive holding penalty on the Giants turns 3rd and 22 into a first down. Ross Dwelley, Kittle's backup, comes up with two big catches on this drive. McKinnon gets to the edge and gets another first down. He gets outside again and scores a touchdown. Fred Warner intercepts Jones! Officials rule he was down at the spot. Mullens goes deep for McKinnon and finds him at the Giants' 12! Low throw is incomplete with nine seconds left. Gould makes it 16-6 at the half.


Giants abandon the run game to start the third quarter. Giants go on 4th and 2 and Jones finds Engram through some chaotic crossing routes. Jones with another run. Field goal is good. The 49ers run another jet sweep with Aiyuk and he scores! He had four touches on that drive, all for more than 10 yards. This is a close spot. 49ers don't think the Giants got it. They... didn't. 49ers ball. Screen to Jeff Wilson, and he's hardly touched. Touchdown! Bad snap on the extra point and it's no good. Niners piling on. Scorigami! (49ers 36, Giants 9)


FOLES IS IN.

Wait, Ted Ginn's a Bear? Ryan gets absolutely pasted by Hicks but there's no flag. The Falcons have fallen apart offensively for the second straight week.

And now a late hit after this punt, the sixth Falcons penalty in the fourth quarter. TOUCHDOWN MILLER.
And then Ryan throws a pick.
Dan Quinn shouldn't survive this. (Bears 30, Falcons 26)

Almost all Joe Mixon to start for the Bengals. Sweat with a sack to end this drive. Wentz cranks it up and overthrows a double-teamed Jackson. Disaster. Interception off a deflected pass.

LeBlanc stops Green short of a first down and force a punt. Wentz somehow doesn't get sacked and throws it away. Crossing slant to Ward for a first down. Bengals still wildly undisciplined. Wentz can't get away from Hubbard and the first quarter ends.

Elliott hits from 27. How are we having false starts in empty stadiums? This time Lawson gets to Wentz and the Eagles have to punt. There's a reason they didn't bring Jason Peters back until July. Burrow is down after this second completion to Boyd, and Malik Jackson gets flagged for roughing the passer. Burrow up and on the sideline, and Ryan Finley's the backup, in case you didn't know. Burrow back in after two plays. Barnett with a sack on third down. Bengals haven't done much offensively. Are those cutouts of the announcers? We got a scrumble after this Eagles punt. Ref's mic is out. Robey-Coleman gets away with a hold. Field goal is good. Wentz gets flushed out of the pocket and runs for 23 on 3rd and 5. Elliott good from 41. Graham gets caught in the neutral zone. Gio Bernard makes a man miss and gets a first down. Mills gets called for pass interference in the end zone, then he loses Tee Higgins in the end zone. Big run by Sanders! Wentz is hit and fumbles but the Eagles get it back. Touchdown Ward! Everyone involved needed that. That's touchdown pass 100 for Wentz (in only 59 games, blowing away McNabb's 76.) Goedert's out with a knee injury, and Jackson's dealing with a hamstring issue. Ertz with a tough catch in traffic on 3rd and 3. Wentz gets sacked, but it's probably because his man wasn't open because of illegal contact. Refs call the wrong guy. Wentz hands it to Hurts, who gets six yards.

Ertz with a nice one-handed grab. End around attempt to Ward is stopped. Screen gets blown up. Elliott makes a 54-yarder look easy. Boyd converts a 3rd and 1 out of a stack formation that LeBlanc can't get through in time. First Javon Hargrave sighting of the season on that Mills blitz and sack, I believe. Well, I'm wrong. Maybe cover Boyd, please. Maddox is hurt. Burrow finds Higgins for another touchdown. Wentz puts that pass in the wrong spot and it's picked off. Now Slay's down after this Green catch. Marcus Epps knocks down a pass intended for Tate in the end zone. Field goal is good. Hurts hands off to Sanders for 8. Then he fumbles the snap on the next play but falls on the ball. Wentz overthrows a wide-open Sanders and he looks sick. Burrow runs away from Cox and Edwards and appears to throw the ball away, only for Higgins to catch it for a 20-yard gain. Pederson challenging this out of desperation, apparently. He's saying Higgins went out of bounds beforehand? They won the challenge! Eagles sit in prevent and Bernard catches a dump-off and takes it 41 yards! That's a joke. Jackson and Mills team up on a big sack that helps force another field goal try. It's good with 3:05 left. Bengals keeping the Eagles in it with penalties downfield. Wentz runs for a first down. Sanders to the 12. Dunlap knocks down a pass and I'm not sure how Wentz didn't see him jump. Ward gets the first down. Wentz gets chased out of the pocket, runs and dives for the touchdown! NOW WHAT? Elliott kicks it and we're tied. Bengals win the OT toss. Slay with two big plays on the first drive. Bates almost picks off Wentz. Eagles also go three and out. Offensive holding negates a big catch by Higgins. Burrow with a risky throw that falls incomplete. Wentz with a DIME to Ertz! Holding penalty brings back an Ertz run. Eagles facing 3rd and 19. Don't get that route but it was covered well. Eagles punt. Grahams sacks Burrow one play after Boyd's 349th catch today. Robey-Coleman knocks it out of Higgins' hands. Cox with another sack. Get the ball! Eagles should be coming after this punt.

An inside run on second down? Officials looking at this spot. They rule Sanders short. Sneak looks good. Bengals call time out for some reason. Eagles run up the middle for... some reason. Peters hurt here or just buying time? Oh, he's hurt. Slant is knocked down. This will be from 59 with 19 seconds left. Someone moved. FALSE START. Now what? That's brutal. Punt team is out.

Delay of game? Seriously? So they weren't planning a fake. That's ridiculous. Why not let Wentz crank one up and hope you get lucky? What happened to your balls, Doug? That's the second time this has happened to these teams!


(Bengals 23, Eagles 23, OT)

Good Lord, Vikings. (Titans 31, Vikings 30)


Yeah, that's on the receiver if it's on anybody. Can we talk about Josh Allen for a second? Because his being any good is miraculous. Quarterbacks as bad as he was in college historically — and make no mistake, he was a bad college quarterback who was drafted high solely on his size and physical tools — almost never amount to anything. (Bills 35, Rams 32)

Touchdown Lockett after the Cowboys' secondary explodes. Then Tony Pollard can't handle the ensuing kickoff. Safety dance in Seattle! Elliott did not get the ball out of the end zone. During the commercial, they were checking to see if he was touched down, but there wasn't enough to say he wasn't. Free play leads to a 28-yard completion to Lamb. Elliott finally gets in after three tries from the 1. Extra point CLANGS off the upright and is no good! "Deep In The Heart Of Texas" plays for a game in Seattle. Fake keeper by Wilson doesn't fool the cowboys. Wilson goes deep to Metcalf, but Trevon Diggs knocks it out of his hands... and out of the end zone!


Replay shows Metcalf slowed down and was carrying the ball loosely. That's that rule again. Touchback; Cowboys ball. Now Prescott flings the ball out there as he's being taken down and the Seahawks pick it up, but it's correctly ruled an incomplete pass as the first quarter ends. Or not yet. NOW it's over after Dak throws into traffic and almost gets Cooper killed. "Lithium" Into the next break. Lamb end around fools no one. Wilson gets pressured and Lockett can't bring in his juggle. This interception won't count, and the Cowboy who intercepted it is down. Then Brandon Carr (?!) gets flagged for interference in the end zone. It's like he never left. Who keeps paying him? Touchdown Lockett.  Petition: The NFC East winner is replaced in the playoffs by whichever NFC West team doesn't make the playoffs. Touchdown... Cedrick Wilson? OK then.

Extra point is NO GOOD after it's tipped. Turns out this is another Cedrick Wilson. Sorry for the confusion. Russ gets tackled three yards short and the Seahawks punt. Shaqueill Griffin picks off Prescott! Metcalf scoops up a low throw. Another low throw gets dropped by Lockett. Olsen stepped out of bounds on that play, and there was also illegal contact on the cowboys. Even Pereira's stumped by why the ball's been moved to the 1. It appears that they've picked up the flag (cap) for the illegal touching on Olsen. Touchdown Lockett, who's been as wide open today as Tyler Boyd was. 23-15 at halftime. Are there halftime Scorigamis? Because that's one. (We're also on track for the Seahawks to continue their yearly Scorigami streak.) Prescott fumbles! BIG MAN RUMBLE. Seahawks ball at the Cowboys' 5. Wilson flips to Hollister for the touchdown. Cowboys finally sack Wilson. That's a good punt. Dak to Gallup for 52! Then to Wilson for 42 and a touchdown! Zeuerlein barely makes this extra point and it's 30-22. Lockett is killing the Cowboys — he's catching everything thrown his way. That ball was almost too far in front of him and he still got it.

Lamb has to turn around to get that one. Aikman notes that the Cowboys have shuffled their offensive line again, benching their right tackle. Gallup beats Flowers for a 43-yard touchdown! Cowboys go for two and... don't get it! Brown tried twice after the catch but got stopped, spun put, and got stopped again. HMMMM. 'Sup, Pylon Cam? I'm wondering if maybe Brown did get to the end zone. Ah well. Flowers having a rough day. Is Cooper hurt or just doing his usual disappearing act? Jamal Adams out with a groin injury. Zeuerlein's kick is good. 31-30 Cowboys. Russ to Olson on 4th and 3 gets a first down. Aikman wonders about that incompletion. I don't think they meant to not complete it, Troy. Touchdown Metcalf! But there's 1:32 left. Any Seahawks two-point try that doesn't move Wilson isn't a good one, IMO. But there's a flag and they'll get another shot. It's roughing the passer and Aikman thought it was gonna be defensive holding. Russ rolls out and finds Hollister. 38-31. Prescott is sacked. Then he's almost sacked again — but throws an interception in the end zone! (Seahawks 38, Cowboys 31)

The Lions... won? (Lions 26, Cardinals 23)

No Michael Thomas again for the Saints. Tirico and Collinsworth working the game tonight. Demario Davis sacks Rodgers. Field goal is good. Payton wearing a medical face mask this week. Huge hole for Kamara, who takes it all the way to the Packers' 18. Touchdown Kamara! The Packers have finally learned to give Aaron Jones the ball. Rodgers takes off and converts 3rd and 12. Packers settle for three again. That's probably not ideal. Talk turns to Brees' early passing struggles. Sack! Rodgers has one career touchdown pass to a first-round pick and it's... Marcedes Lewis? MY GOD that throw by Rodgers. Lazard scores two plays later on a 2-yard pass.

Brees checks down (?) to Kamara and he gets 15. Screen to Taysom gets stopped. Lutz hits from 45. Tirico brings Terry McAuley on to say that the Saints should have been flagged for running into the kicker on this Packers punt. Brees doesn't need deep balls to do this. Touchdown to Emmanuel Sanders, who hasn't been involved in the offense at all up until this point. Halftime! No Dan or Rodney, either? It's just Liam and Tony Dungy in studio. Michele checks to see if her mic is working. It isn't. Now it is! Rodgers goes deep to Lazard AGAIN! Seventy-two yards to the Saints' 4!

Aaron Jones cashes in on fourth and goal. Kamara jogs down the sideline. Kamara gets six on third and 9. Saints try to draw the Packers offsides but jump themselves, bringing on the field goal team. Lutz sneaks it inside the right upright and we're tied at 20. Obligatory pass interference call on Marcus Williams. Lewis pushes off Malcolm Jenkins and is given a touchdown. Replay shows he pushed off and that his knee was down inbounds. Packers may have stolen one there. Brees checks down to Kamara down the sideline, and he gets a block from the center about 20 yards downfield, then cuts inside and makes it to the end zone! We're tied again. Saints stop Jones on 4th and 1 from the Packers' 48! That's a generous spot. First down! WOW. Never challenge spots, but I'd challenge this if I were Payton. This isn't even close. Call REVERSED. Saints take over on downs. ZaDarius Smith strips Taysom and recovers!

This Crosby kick looked short, but it goes through. 30-27 Packers. Packer slowing down now. Jones bulls his way to the saints' 27. Rodgers draws the Saints offside with a hard count, then gets a pass interference flag in the end zone. (And Lazard almost caught it anyway.) Another flag against the Saints. Jones gets stuffed at the 1. LaFleur challenges. Call STANDS. Rodgers rolls out — touchdown Robert Tonyan, whoever he is. Saints almost out of time. Brees had to labor to fire that one to Smith on 4th down. I just realized Davante Adams didn't play tonight. Saints settle for three. Onside kick time. This one rolls out of bounds. Cris narrating the ball skipping is hilarious. "I thought it was gonna break left!" (Packers 37, Saints 30)

Lamar already off for 32 yards. Option pitch to J.K. Dobbins converts 3rd and 5. Chiefs hold and Tucker comes on, surprising Riddick. Field goal is good because of course it is. Ravens blitz but Mahomes reacts quickly and finds Kelce for 12. Hill eludes Peters on the outside and gets pushed out of bounds at the Ravens' 5.

Levy and Griese think Peters gave him too much room. Mahomes rolls out — touchdown! Butker MISSES the extra point! Ravens trail for the first time this season. Short kickoff. Maybe Butker's leg's tired. Edwards-Hilaire finds a hole and takes the screen for a first down. Kelce needs multiple people to tackle him. Mahomes dumps it away under pressure. Shovel pass to the FULLBACK. (With Hill lined up in the backfield, no less.) Touchdown Chiefs.


Devin Duvernay gets the edge. He's GONE. 93 yards on the kickoff return! He's Kyler Murray's cousin, apparently? Kelce still needs multiple people to tackle him. Mahomes flips one to Hardman like he's skipping rocks. Griese: "How do you defend that?" Touchdown Hill! How is this fair?

Jackson misses Andrews, then almost gets intercepted by Sneed under pressure. Mahomes to Hardman for 49 yards and another touchdown! These guys are just too damn fast, and they've been abusing Deshon Elliott on the outside.


Chris Jones forces Jackson to fumble and the Chiefs recover! Butker misses the field goal and that's the second-best thing that happened to the Ravens this half. 27-10 Chiefs.

Mahomes just throwing floaters for 23 yards, this one to Edwards-Helaire. Now they're running flea-flickers out of the Wildcat for the hell of it. Fumble! Ravens have it! Screen gets obliterated. Brown makes this catch, loops backwards behind the first-down marker, then lunges forward and gets it. Pocket collapses and Jackson takes off for 18 (and he would have scored had he not been nudged out of bounds) Andrews can't bring it down in the end zone. False start turns fourth and 2 into fourth and 7 and the Ravens settle for a field goal.

Chiefs go for it with a fullback dive at midfield and it doesn't work! Gus Edwards inside the 5. Touchdown Boyle, who makes a good play pulling the ball away from the oncoming defender. Extra point is good and it's 27-20 to start the fourth. Mahomes misses Hardman, who was well covered. Mahomes with what had to be a designed rollout for a first down. OH MY GOD. Mahomes to LEFT TACKLE ERIC FISHER. Touchdown Chiefs. Andy's just trolling everyone now.

Pass protection can get violent — Ravens tackle Tyre Phillips just got his helmet ripped off. Lightning win the Stanley Cup. (Chiefs 34, Ravens 20; Lightning 2, Stars 0)

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Sunday, September 27, 2020

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 2: When Chips Fall

We've got an early contender for worst Thursday night game of the year and it's WEEK 2. Bengals get the ball first. Browns immediately challenge this A.J. Green catch because he was out of bounds. This should take about 15 seconds. Burrow scrambles for a first down on 3rd and 6. Is he their leading rusher? Sheldon Richardson stuffs Mixon on third down, and the Bengals are at the Browns 33 and going for it on 4th and 4. Complete to Boyd for eight and a first down. Adrian Clayborn sacks Burrow at the 2-, forcing a field goal. Oh, NOW Bullock makes it. Of course.


Two quick play action passes put the Browns in Bengals territory. Ex-Falcon Austin Hooper gets another first down. Obvious cut block is obvious.

Mayfield rolls left and gets real close to the first down... the refs say he got there before going out of bounds. Chubb with a tough run through some loose Bengals tackling for a touchdown.

Green with a tough juggling catch. Richardson with a sack to end the first quarter. Here's the comedy we've been waiting for: The center snapped the ball while Burrow was turning to call a time out, losing 22 yards after Burrow fell on it. Chubb crosses midfield. Touchdown Beckham! This is actually very close. Call STANDS. Bengals suddenly hot on offense. Burrow finds C.J. Uzomah in the corner for a touchdown. Oh, a Kareem Hunt sighting. Browns knocking on the door again. Hunt is left wide open for the touchdown. 21-10 Browns. Burrow with another risky throw into double coverage, and Tee Higgins catches it anyway. Slant to Green gets another first down. Bengals now out of time outs with 37 seconds left. This pass has to go to the end zone, you'd think. Let's pump the brakes a bit. That's out of bounds. Field goal is good. 21-13 at halftime. Joe Buck won the Pete Rozelle Award... which will put him in the Pro Football Hall of Fame alongside his father. He's legitimately stunned.
Browns go for it on 4th and 2 and Landry is left completely alone (again) and gets 20. Chubb breaking more tackles. Touchdown! Oh, it wasn't? OK. Browns going for it again on 4th and goal from the 2. Denied! The Bengals stop Chubb and take over. Burrow fumbles! Browns ball at the 1! This time Chubb DOES score. Sendejo killing the Browns. Aikman points out that the Bengals are already going no-huddle midway through the third. Touchdown Gio Bernard! The upside is that they let him carry the ball. And again, they reverse the call and say he was down before hand. Mixon loses four yards. Pass is broken up, but there's an interference flag. Bengals want another one on this 3rd down pass but don't get it. Field goal is good.

William Jackson picks off Mayfield. It'll stand, as the flag was for Mayfield getting drilled after the pick. Burrow gets sacked but there's a penalty on the Browns. Quarterback draw on 3rd and 1 from the 5 yields a first down. Touchdown to Mike (not Michael) Thomas. Extra point is good. 28-23 with 5:55 left. Big run by Hunt! Bates, who played will on Sunday, missed another tackle on that run. Bengals had one of the worst run defenses last year, and that hasn't changed tonight. Touchdown Hunt. It feels like every Bengals third down play on this drive has come up one yard short. Burrow misses Green in the end zone. He finds Tyler Boyd in the back of the end zone, but did he get his feet down? Looks like he did, actually. Why's he being covered by a linebacker? 35-30 Browns with 43 seconds left. Onside kick will not succeed.


Hey, this ended up being pretty good! (Browns 35, Bengals 30)

Signal Finder: NYG @ CHI, LAR @ PHI, DEN @ PIT (end), ATL @ DAL (end), BAL @ HOU, KC @ LAC (end)

The Bears have four guys who will carry the ball. Trubisky waits, scrambles, then flips it to... Montgomery (who's not in the picture), who goes down the sideline to the 15, then cuts back inside and beats every Giant to the spot. Touchdown! Mack buries Jones on a sack and the ball comes out. Bears recover. Field goal is good and it's 10-0 Bears. Barkley being helped off after being tackled out of bounds. Jones throws another interception. Engram wasn't open at ALL. Trubisky just tried really hard to give it back. Barkley being carted into the locker room. Giants haven't been able to sustain anything.

I'm not sure Dion Lewis is the best No. 2 back for whatever this offense is. Wayne Gallman's going to have to take on a bigger role as well. Mooney? Kmet? Wims? Who are these people? I don't think Trubisky's thrown an incompletion on this drive. Well, I just jinxed it. Trubisky dances in the pocket for a bit, the rifles one to Mooney for a touchdown! 17-0 Bears at halftime after Gano misses a 57-yarder after a pass play that got Sterling Shepard hurt. Trubisky gets picked off! Field goal is good from 39. Giants stop this Bears drive and get the ball back. Jones to Tate for 20. Jones gets hit out of bounds and that'll be a flag. Giants going for it on 4th and goal from the 2. Dion Lewis barrels through for the score. Trubisky with a bad decision of his own leading to a Bradberry interception. Mack sacks Jones again. Deflection is intercepted by Eddie Jackson, who runs it back for a touchdown, but there's a flag... on him, for pass interference, bailing Jones out. Jones throws it too hard and it's fourth down. Giants settle for three. Giants sniff out the screen but Trubisky keeps it and runs down the sideline for 11. Two minute warning. Lewis drops a swing pass. Jones completes to Engram on 3rd and 10 for 22 yards.
4th and 5 becomes 4th and 4 after the review changes the spot. Low throw but Lewis catches it. Bears suddenly getting no pressure. Jones works the sidelines. 4th and 1. Slant to Slayton picks it up. Why did they do that? Jones spikes it with eight seconds left. Lewis goes out of bounds for four yards. Four seconds left. Knocked down! Flag! It's on the Giants! Game over. (Bears 17, Giants 13)

Mostert with an 80-yard touchdown on the first play from scrimmage. Jets starting off Jetting.

Nick Bosa, Garoppolo and Mostert are all out now for the 49ers.


I mean, yeah. (49ers 31, Jets 13) 

Are there fans here? Of course there are; it's Texas. Prescott back after apparently clearing concussion protocol. Big play to Noah Brown, but there's a flag. Ooh, they got the rookie CeeDee Lamb with a blind side block. Deep ball to Gallup! Oh, this one's close. Refs change the call to a completion. Falcons eventually decide to challenge. Did Gallup's "backside" (the technical term, according to Dean Blandino) hit before his elbow landed out of bounds? Call confirmed. There was also defensive holding, so it's Cowboys ball at the Falcons' 5. Run the ball, McCarthy. God. Prescott sneak after three passes (and another DPI call) gets it. Burkhardt jokingly wonders if the Cowboys can trade for Falcons kicker Young-Hoe Koo, who's the only one who can pull off an onside kick anymore. The Cowboys got it! Zeuerlein kicked it like a pool shot and the Falcons just stood there. Lamb gets away and makes a big catch for a first down. The Falcons are going to blow this.


No idea what the Cowboys are doing here. They spike it with four seconds left. It's GOOD. These worthless morons.
Only the good die young. (Cowboys 40, Falcons 39)

That's already one more successful screen than the Eagles ran last week. Sanders fumbles and it's Rams ball. Goff rolls out, Mills blitzes, and Higbee makes the catch for a touchdown.

Ertz makes a sliding catch. Scott runs for 12. Kiser all over the place early for the Rams. Field goal is good. Rams have a lot of traveling to do in the early going. Cox down. Rams don't huddle after Kupp picks up a first down, and Kupp picks up another first down. Van Jefferson with a sideline catch at the 6. And here we see Malcom Brown in a goal-line situation (though Akers has a rib injury) End around to Woods for a touchdown.

Johnson gets hit after the punt but there's no flag. Ford tries to save this punt but it already hit the ground in the end zone. Trailing cover man gave up at the last second and Goff hits Higbee on the move. McVay absolutely clowning Pederson after one quarter. Goff is 10 for 10! Zone read keeper fools almost everyone but Marcus Epps, who stops Goff at the 3. Touchdown Higbee and this is approaching disaster status.

Reagor with a tough catch over the middle, and then he heads off. JALEN HURTS SIGHTING. He's next to Sanders in the backfield. Wentz fakes to both and finds Goedert. Reagor is tackled before the ball arrives, and a flag comes out. First and goal again. Hurts out wide. Careful stretching that ball out, Sanders. AND he landed on Semualo's leg, and he's still down. Wentz sneak? Touchdown! They go for two (why?) with a Sanders sweep but it gets stuffed. 21-9 Rams. Brown rushes for 19.

Graham with a sack. Rams do NOT fake this punt. Kugler and Spielman talk about how Aaron Donald's been mostly contained so far because Wentz is getting rid of the ball faster. Kupp fields this punt at the 4, which he shouldn't have. Then he fumbles! Eagles have it at the Rams' 11. Sanders gets six. Then he gets the last five. Touchdown! 21-16 at halftime. Problem here is the Rams have never lost a halftime lead under McVay.

Three and out for the Rams. Boathouse Row B-roll over "Motownphilly" to break. Three straight passes to Jackson, two of them caught. And there's the third catch by Jackson on this drive. First down at the Rams' 21. Wentz gets picked off in the end zone. Replay shows he forced it. That ball had no chance of being caught. Kupp stretches out for a third down pickup. Goff overthrows Henderson in the end zone.
Eagles cover well on third down and force a field goal try. It's good. Blitz lights Wentz up but he still finds Goedert to end the third. Wentz bails out under pressure and Elliott makes it 24-19. Slay hurt after stopping a big play that nobody else tried to stop. Goff goes deep to Higbee for his third touchdown today. Jackson with a bad drop. Sanders picks him up with a catch and run for a first down. Wentz to Jackson for eight on 3rd and 10. Bad throw into coverage ends it. Another big play to Woods. That's not a touchdown, not that it matters. PAT is blocked.

Goff vs. Wentz round 2 goes to Goff, and McVay thoroughly outcoached Pederson. He was fantastic.
(Rams 37, Eagles 19)

CBS production truck lost power in Miami for about 30 minutes as it started to rain. I don't know, guys.


Um, really? This feels like God's giving you a sign. (Bills 31, Dolphins 28) 

And Drew Lock's been knocked out of THIS game. Jeff Driskell overthrows Jeudy on the sideline, then is off-target — but that's because Tim Patrick was interfered with. Good catch by Fant on the sideline. Tomlin challenges, because he kind of has to with about three minutes left. Yeah, that's good. 3rd and 2 at the two-minute warning. Pass is juggled by several players before it falls to the turf. And on fourth down he's sacked by Terrell Edmunds, who came completely free on a blitz.


Welp. (Steelers 26, Broncos 21) 

Watt sacks Jackson, the 39th different quarterback he's gotten. That's a pretty catch and run by Mark Andrews. Jackson takes off for 11. That pass was somehow almost caught. Tucker hits from 32.


What the hell, O'Brien? They don't get it, and Jackson opens the next drive with a pass to Ingram to get the Ravens into the red zone. Boyle sneaks away and Jackson finds him at the 3. Touchdown pass to the fullback Ricard. Did that ball break the plane? I guess it did. 10-0 Ravens. Watson passes the 10,000 passing yards mark, making him the first with that many passing yards and 1,000 rushing yards in his first 40 games. Big pass to Cooks, who goes out at the Ravens' 10. Touchdown Fells. Is that Suh in the Baker Mayfield Progressive "Book Club" ad? Hollywood almost broke that one. Tucker hits from 39. Pass is fumbled and L.J. Fort scoops it up. Is he in? Refs say no. They're reviewing this. They change it to a touchdown, and I thought the ball got the pylon and thought they might change it. 20-7 Ravens.

Peters picks off Watson! Yeah, that's a catch. Watt with another sack. Watson finds Cooks near the sideline with 16 seconds left. They decline the penalty, keeping the clock running, but the Texans' motion forces the RAVENS to call time. I don't know if that was intentional, but it got the clock stopped, so it worked out. Quick pass to Cobb, and there's a mini-scuffle afterwards. Refs basically admit they screwed up the clock. Or, as Trent Green is explaining, the ball got moved after it was spotted, so they had to put it back., Field goal is good. 20-10 Ravens at halftime. Texans can't stop the Ravens' run game, but then, few can. Tucker makes it, sneaking it inside the right upright. I feel like the Texans could use DeAndre Hopkins on this drive, especially once the fourth quarter started. Ingram takes off for a touchdown and that should be that. This was a ridiculous first two games for the Texans. (Ravens 33, Texans 16)

Who took Tyrod out? WHO?



Chargers lead! Two quick shots to Kelce and Hill get the Chiefs across midfield. Offensive holding cancels out a long pass to Edwards-Hilaire that would have put the Chiefs at the Chargers' 10. Mahomes runs around and can't find anyone open, so he runs out of bounds. Three seconds left. Butker's kick ties it. Nantz: "Hey, the Chargers weren't gonna have that good fortune two straight weeks." OVERTIME. Chargers win the toss. For those of you expecting to see 60 Minutes, you really, REALLY should know how this works by now. Three and out.
Melvin Ingram knocks this pass down. Mahomes scrambles and reaches the ball past the sticks. This run will come up short. Fourth down sneak gets it. Romo and the spotters see that Kelce was open for a touchdown, but only briefly, as Casey Hayward saw it and ran over to cover. Chiefs set up for a 53-yard field goal try on 4th and 1. Time out? Flag? FALSE START. They're gonna try it from 58 now. NOW time out. That one looked good. There's two minutes left, by the way. Let's try this again. IT'S GOOD!
(Chiefs 23, Chargers 20, OT)

The Patriots won't have James White tonight, as he lost his father in a car accident this afternoon. Seattle skies are much clearer than three days ago. No fans at CenturyLink. Seahawks get the ball first. What the hell is Belichick's mask? Deflected and intercepted! Touchdown Devin McCourty! That's not like Greg Olsen.
Carlos Hyde, who's a Seahawk for some reason, with a carry. Wilson slides for a first down. Lockett slips a tackle and gets another first down. Wilson takes off again for 21. Carson sets up first and goal at the 4. Wilson rolls out and throws to Lockett for a touchdown. It's been 40 years since the Patriots have rolled out a quarterback. Well, Diggs is out. Led with his helmet and got tossed immediately. Penalty also gives the Pats first and goal. Cam powers his way through... to the 1? He thought he scored, and I'm not sure he didn't. Nonetheless, they line up and he keeps it anyway, taking it to the left side for the score. 14-7 Patriots.
Diggs's backup just grabbed his knee.
Yeah, if you've forgotten or didn't know, Quinton Dunbar was the other player caught up in the DeAndre Baker robbery mess. Wilson drops it into Metcalf's bread basket and he powers out of Gilmore's grasp and high-steps into the end zone. Folk misses from 51. Weird camera angle made it look even longer than that. Lockett goes down for a moment, and a late defensive holding flag comes out, erasing 3rd and 19. Wilson gets sacked on 1st and 15, which won't help matters. Punt lands at the Patriots' 6. Halftime. Cam with a great, well-placed throw to Meyers for a first down. Edelman saves this pass and is down at the Seahawks' 21. Burkhead carries it to the 7. Jamal Adams wreaks some havoc, blitzing and chasing Cam down from behind, forcing a field goal. Metcalf and Gilmore about to fight. Wilson with a long, soaring throw to Moore for an apparent touchdown! Yeah, that's a touchdown. Moore never actually stepped out of bounds. Dunbar jumps this route and makes the interception. Touchdown Seahawks! No one spotted Swain and that's his first touchdown, and he'll likely never have an easier one. Let Russ Cook, indeed. Edelman bets Adams, then lays out for the catch! 49 yards on that. Cam flips it to the fullback for a touchdown. That single step forward drew everyone to him. He gets stopped by Adams on the two-point try, leaving it at 28-23. There's still 12:20 left. Kraft not here tonight, missing his first game as owner, for obvious reasons. Option pitch by the Patriots gets blown up. Wilson to Carson for a touchdown! Bruce Irvin down. Cam does down the middle to Edelman, who's covered by Adams again. Down to the 1. Newton keeps it and scores. They kick it to make it 35-30. Wilson throws deep on 3rd and 1 and just misses Lockett. Seahawks punt with 1:46 left.
Cam with a backwards slide after a scramble. 41 seconds left. The decibel limit is 70 for the piped-in noise, which favors the Patriots. Another big play to Edelman! They try it again but this one goes through his hands in the end zone. Cam hits Harry at the 2! The Patriots call their last time out. Power left — DENIED! Thought they'd roll Cam out if the plan was for him to keep the ball. Wilson with some thoughts for White, who he played with his one year at Wisconsin. It IS good to have Cam back.


What a game. (Seahawks 35, Patriots 30)

VEGAS, BABY. 

 




Are we sure an all-black building in the middle of the desert was the way to go here? Announcers wearing the old-school ABC yellow jackets, as this game is on ABC and ESPN2 as well for... some reason. Oh, it's the anniversary? Nice. No fans as the Raiders kick off. They've got a new, electric (?) torch, which Al Davis' widow Carol lights. For reference, the stadium is in southern Las Vegas, on the other side of 15 from Mandalay Bay and McCarran Airport. Saints coming out hot. Hill for 8. Kamara for 10. TraQuan Smith gets drilled on third and 4 and Lutz is in to kick. It's good. Raiders are down two tackles. Malcolm Jenkins sacks Carr, who turned right into it. Another burst run by Kamara. Smith fights off a couple of tackles and takes it to the Raiders' 4. Good job by rookie Damon Arnette to catch up to Kamara and knock him out of bounds before the pylon. Jesus, did Jonathan Abram run into a damn on-field crane? Levy recounts that he got hurt in last year's opener as well. He slid into the TV cart AND the line judge (Sarah Thomas). He jumps up and runs off the field. Taysom sneak doesn't work. Kamara records the first touchdown here. Raiders jump offsides on the PAT try, so the Saints take it off the board and go for two instead, 'cause Sean Payton's petty like that. Kamara picks it up. Another flag, this one on the Saints for an illegal formation. So now they're kicking it again. It's good. VEGAS, BABY. 50 years to the day, in fact. They show Billy Andrews intercepting Joe Namath and returning it for a touchdown. Levy calls old Municipal Stadium "The Mistake by The Lake." Riddick: "Hey, I played in that stadium. I know it was just dirt painted like grass, but it was our dirt." Carr, with time, finds Edwards across midfield for 32. Carr overthrows Henry Ruggs by 15 yards. Carr gets sacked after a penalty.
Second quarter starts with a 3-yard Jason Witten catch. Super weird to see him in a different uniform. Raiders putting something together here as this pass to Waller puts them in the red zone. Slant to Waller gets the Raiders to the 2. Touchdown Alec Ingold! The fullback is wide open in the end zone and enters the record books. End zone views look like Madden games with no fans. This is game 210 for both coaches, according to "Levy's Believe It Or Not", which Steve is sure will be sponsored next week. Brees to Jared Cook at the goal line. Touchdown! Carr's been much more decisive since that sack. Edwards runs a hook route and picks up the first down after the catch. Demario Davis comes on a run blitz and wrecks Jacobs. Zay Jones with a diving attempt in the end zone — and they eventually call it a touchdown!
Bad throw by Brees is intercepted! He had to hurry it and the Raiders have the ball on the Saints' 40. Ingold gets pushed out of bounds as he picks up the first down. 25 seconds left. Draw to Jacobs, and the Raiders call their last time out. Nothing's open and Carr bails out. Field goal is good and we're tied at 17 at halftime. Vegas's own The Killers play my least favorite single of theirs, "Mr. Brightside" from what might be an actual rooftop but is equally probably a set. The guys LOVE their blazers. Lattimore gets flagged for DPI, putting the Raiders at midfield. Moreau beats Malcolm down the sideline and makes the catch for 31 yards.
They're inside the 5. Fumbled snap! Raiders recover but it's fourth down. Raiders going for it. Carr rolls out and flips it to Waller for the score. That was perfection. Jalen Richard fumbles the pitch! Saints ball. Riddick straight-up says that Brees is struggling to put the ball where he wants. Waller reaches behind him to catch that for 18 yards. Shot of Jacobs on the sideline taking his gloves off. Saints have nine penalties for 100 yards. Hunter Renfroe lands on his head but holds on. Richard holds on to this pitch, ducks Malcolm, has Lattimore (?) whiff on him, and scores! Riddick points out that that was 3rd and 10 and the Raiders RAN the ball. Brees only has one fourth-quarter comeback of 14 points or more, and that was that nutty Washington game in 2017. And he's only got six minutes to do it.
Smith's been doing everything in the receiving game tonight. Kamara takes it to the 3. Touchdown Kamara. Jacobs back in for the Raiders. Another Saints penalty, this one for pass interference. Who do they think they are, the Raiders? Jacobs only gets three yards, but stays inbounds. They're trying a 54-yarder. Or maybe not, as the Raiders call time. Nope, they're gonna try it. It's GOOD. What a sick win. (Raiders 34, Saints 24)
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