The Jersey Driver

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 6: Reset Buttons

2011-11-16T11:00:00.000-05:00

Signal Finder: PHI @ WSH, DAL @ NE, HOU @ BALIt's Week 6 and this is pretty much it. How did we get here, exactly? OK, so because of the roughing the passer flag, none of that happened? Cool. That means I don't have to try to describe it. Coaches have to hate these fourth-and-short situations just inside the opponents' 40 because none of the options are ideal. You just have to hope you're right.

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Weeks 4-5: Toil and Trouble

2011-11-04T16:53:00.001-04:00

WEEK 4 Signal Finder: SF @ PHI, BUF @ CIN (end), DEN @ GBSo already Akers has missed a field goal and Vick's thrown an interception (that wasn't his fault; DeSean should have caught that ball.) I don't blame Andy for challenging that... atrocity Ronnie Brown committed because I don't think he knew what happened. The viewers and the announcers didn't see what happened until they showed the

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 3: Into The Wall

2011-10-20T10:45:00.000-04:00

Signal Finder: NYG @ PHI, DET @ MIN (end), NYJ @ OAKDelaware River, hello! And those planes flying over my parents' house right now are headed to the Vault for the home-opening flyover. Well, that's certainly not what Steve Smith 2.0 wanted to do in his first game against his old team. The Great Linebacker Shift Of 2011 is already not paying off, as Casey Matthews got duped so badly on that play

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 2: The Beauty In Ugly

2011-09-23T17:18:00.004-04:00

Signal Finder: JAX @ NYJ, OAK @ BUF (end), CHI @ NO, SD @ NEEast Rutherford Office Complex, hello! Rather clinical opening drive for the Jets there. Safety! You'd think the Jets would get more of those. Sanchex should have thrown that one somewhere else. And McCown should have thrown that one somewhere else. The Jets' right tackle who was getting blown up all last week has become a human penalty

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 1: Running The Red Lights

2011-09-17T16:47:00.000-04:00

Frozen Tundra, hello! Really, though, it's more soaked than anything. This seemed the most obvious choice for the opener what with the last two champions and all. Four possessions, three touchdowns, one coming off a turnover. Feels like this is gonna be one of those games. Huh. A stop. And a three-and-out, no less. And Sproles runs the ensuing punt back for a touchdown. Yeah, this is definitely

The Scariest Silence

2011-09-11T08:46:00.000-04:00

Sometime between my freshman and sophomore year of college, I seemingly "developed" a knack for waking up right before the dorm fire alarm went off. This was after a year of sleeping through them, without fail, and not finding out that it went off until lunch. Maybe that's what triggered it -- my brain processed its seeming lack of regard for my own safety and adjusted accordingly to make sure I

Fearful Forecast 2011

2011-09-10T23:30:00.000-04:00

FEARFUL FORECAST 2011 NFC EAST (2) Philadelphia — The talk of the league after exceeding expectations last year, followed by an offseason spending blitz designed to fix some large holes in the defense, including becoming the somewhat surprising winner of the Nnamdi Asomugah sweepstakes. They've also hitched their wagon to Michael Vick for the foreseeable future, a development that absolutely no

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth: The Cliffhanger

2011-08-11T01:39:00.000-04:00

The post right underneath this one says that the rest of last year's postseason will be posted when the lockout ends. Well, the lockout's over. And since I am a man of my word, here it is. (My file for the conference title games got corrupted and I both can't and don't really want to reconstruct the whole thing almost from scratch. All you need to know is that Todd Collins took meaningful

Back In Line

2011-06-15T19:25:00.004-04:00

*moves boxes * *blows dust off* Hey, it still works.Let's talk some baseball! (Oh, and we'll ignore that I have not yet posted my recaps for the NFL conference title games and Super Bowl. Those will come when the lockout ends. And not a second sooner.) Specifically, let's talk the latest rumblings of realigning MLB's teams.This comes up occasionally, and has again during talks between the owners

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth: Aerial Assaults

2011-02-09T12:20:00.000-05:00

I don't think I've ever seen a challenge on the opening kickoff before. It worked! And assuming similar play calling by the Ravens (dangerous, I know) that saved the Steelers being down at least three. Between the Ward-Reed dustup on the first series and Ike Taylor headbutting Housh, this game could end in an actual fistfight. I don't like the Ravens throwing this much this early on because

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth: Road Cooking

2011-01-19T08:49:00.004-05:00

If this were a regular season game, Ron Pitts and John Lynch would be calling it. I mean, it's hard to bury a playoff game but NBC almost did it. There's an inauspicious beginning. The Seahawks were fortunate to only give up three there — they can thank Bush for that drop. Tipped pass gets picked? It's getting worse. Lawyer Milloy's still alive? This is a key sequence for the Seahawks

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 17: Final Eliminations

2011-01-08T16:04:00.000-05:00

Signal Finder: PIT @ CLE, TB @ NO, OAK @ KC (most of second half); DAL @ PHIFour weeks ago I was saying that Eric Mangini should get some Coach of the Year votes. He hasn't won a game since. Ummmm... I think Polamalu can sit back down now. (Steelers 41, Browns 9)CRAZINESS. If you didn't see it, the Bucs lined up tight, Freeman faked the sneak, dropped back about 10 yards(!) because the Saints'

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 16: The Massively Delayed Sleep Deprivation Edition

2011-01-04T23:32:00.003-05:00

It's my understanding that Festivus is today. Who determines this? Is it arbitrary? I bring this up because this is as worthy an occasion as any to begin the Airing of Grievances. Hey NFL schedule makers! I GOTTA LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE! Who among you decided that the Carolina Panthers were worthy of any prime-time exposure at this point in the season? What made you think they'd be

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 15: Return Engagements

2010-12-23T10:07:00.002-05:00

Hit the showers, Justin Smith! (The 49ers have about eight guys named Smith. It's nuts.) And the 49ers miss him already — the Chargers are strolling down the field. Think they missed Vincent Jackson all season? The sequence where the field goal came off the board because of a leverage penalty, then Alex Smith's touchdown was overturned by replay, then the 49ers got stuffed on fourth and goal

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 14: Rated NC-17

2010-12-18T16:20:00.003-05:00

We were supposed to get Giants-Vikings before the METRODOME BROKE. I'm guessing Bucs-Redskins instead. Wait, this is an indoor stadium...Signal Finder: GB @ DET, CIN@ PIT, OAK @ JAX (end), ATL @ CAR (end), MIA @ NYJThere is absolutely nothing I can say about the first half of this game. Nothing. Even the play that Rodgers suffered the concussion on wasn't all that exciting or violent or

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 13: Perilous and Ponderous

2010-12-10T16:35:00.001-05:00

This is coming back, isn't it? Yeah, of course it is. It doesn't seem to matter watching this drive, though. Or this one. Or even this one, though the Texans did at least hold them to a field goal here. These drives have all taken a decent amount of time, too, which is encouraging. Is it just me or did McCoy pick up his game when Vick came back? How does Joel Dreesen keep getting wide open

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 12: Off The Rack (of Lamb)

2010-12-04T10:31:00.001-05:00

So how long can the new, improved Lions hang? Let's find out. I think this is the most Lions games I've ever seen in one season (three) and I like seeing how good Calvin Johnson is at catching passes from mediocre-at-best-quarterbacks. The guy played with Reggie Ball, arguably the worst four-year starter ever, in college. Is it really 14-3? Someone tell the Patriots you're not supposed to

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 11: Precious Declarations

2010-11-25T15:24:00.001-05:00

Posit: You're starting a third-string quarterback on a short week of preparation. You're also starting your backup center at center and your third-string center at guard. Your left tackle has a shoulder injury. So your backs run the ball six times? Whatever. The thing with Marshall and Cutler on the sideline: I was listening to Mike and Mike Friday morning and that seems to stem from when

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 10: Late Shows

2010-11-19T12:24:00.001-05:00

Joe Theismann? Really, NFL Network? Really? All right, I suppose I'll suffer through this. The Falcons are eating the Ravens' defense alive with all this underneath stuff. Someone made a bad misread on the Snelling touchdown and I can't tell who. Maybe it was multiple someones. Does the Ravens' offense know there's a game tonight? Do they know where midfield is? Seriously, Matty Ice is

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 9: Absolutely Not Rocket Science

2010-11-11T11:08:00.002-05:00

Signal Finder: NYJ @ DET; AZ @ MIN (Really, Channel 29? Really?); IND @ PHIThis is an... interesting choice of game. Braylon will be caught by no one on this bomb. Jason Hanson's still alive? Yeah, not after that, he's not. That play-action bootleg was a thing of beauty and a joy forever. Suh's kicking the extra point? CLANG. And he looks legitimately angry he missed it. Um... why not

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 8: Fear and Loathing in the Coach's Office

2010-11-04T16:11:00.005-04:00

Signal Finder: GB@ NYJ, JAX @ DAL, BUF @ KC (end of regulation), MIN @ NEI didn't do it after last week because I want to see how they react against an average-at-best team. I see Kitna's already thrown two interceptions in Jaguars territory. This Cowboys secondary is getting used and abused. When did Marcedes Lewis stop sucking? And has Garrard missed yet? (No.) Well, wait, this might be

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 7: Late Shifts

2010-10-30T10:09:00.003-04:00

(Apologies for how late this is; all the overtime I've been working this month finally caught up to me.)Signal Finder: PHI @ TEN, PIT @ MIA, BUF @ BAL (end regulation), NE @ SDHere's the thing: Once the official signals touchdown, the play's over. And the only way the Dolphins would have gotten the ball is if the officials had made the correct call the first time — even if they'd said Ben was

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 6: Land Crashing

2010-10-21T16:01:00.002-04:00

Signal Finder: ATL @ PHI, DAL @ MIN, NYJ @ DENI have no idea what to expect any more. That's a good start. What we're seeing here also is the Falcons' pass defense still not being quite up to par. I mean, how do you let DeSean Jackson get that open? cringes Well that'll put a stop to that. Like I've said before, you know it's serious when even the slow-motion replay looks like it hurts.

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 5: The Artistry of Escape

2010-10-15T10:10:00.003-04:00

Signal Finder: DEN @ BAL, WSH @ GB, TEN @ DALThat's such a Bengals way to lose. What's happened to Carson Palmer? My God. (Buccaneers 24, Bengals 21)I'm Sorry You Had To See That: Bears 23, Panthers 6Well, there's an inauspicious beginning. What happened to Portis? Hey Packers, why didn't you kick the field goal? You go 85 yards down the field, you should really score. Just sayin'. And

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 4: Home Invaders

2010-10-06T20:53:00.002-04:00

Signal Finder: PIT @ BAL, CAR @ NO, DEN @ TEN (end), WSH @ PHIFirst the Texans, then the Jaguars? Maybe the Colts aren't immune. (Jaguars 31, Colts 28)This'll be fun if you're turned on by BLOOD HATRED. "Well before the pass was thrown..." ACTING! Mason got all kinds of crossed up on the Taylor interception. Reed missed again?? If I hadn't just seen Garrett Hartley on the Saints' sideline

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 3: A Fine Mess

2010-09-30T07:25:00.001-04:00

Signal Finder: TEN @ NYG, PHI @ JAX, IND @ DENUm, Eli... you're not left-handed. Postgame: "I don't even know what the ball was doing in my left hand, to be honest with you." This is not going well at all and it's kind of amazing the Giants are only down 10-3. Make that tied. Nice run. Wait, what? An illegal chop block in the end zone? That's a safety! And now it's all starting to come

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 2: Car Crash Theater

2010-09-22T23:40:00.002-04:00

Signal Finder: PHI @ DET, PIT @ TEN, NE @ NYJAnd now it's two straight weeks of teams Eagles fans never see. Let's see how this goes. Pass protection's going to be an issue this season, I can see it now. That was pretty good. CONTINUING TREND: The Eagles can't cover tight ends. This Jahvid Best has some moves. Screen pass is right out of the Eagles' playbook. Yeah, he's gone. I knew he

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 1: Rocks of Gibraltar

2010-09-15T21:14:00.004-04:00

That was quick and possibly way too easy. Did somebody fall down there? What happened to the game? Oh, our cable and Internet are out. Let's go the highlights. The Vikings' receivers are struggling. Things just seem off. I mean, usually the defenses start out ahead of the offenses in preseason, but the gap's not usually this large by Week 1. Maybe it's the shorter week. This sure isn't

Fearful Forecast 2010

2010-09-09T12:30:00.001-04:00

NFC EAST (If it's possible for all four of these teams to somehow finish 9-7, I wouldn't bet against it)(3) Dallas - I'm hesitant to do this, because we've seen over the past few years that the Cowboys do not hold up well when faced with high expectations (I firmly believe that they were successful last year in no small part because everyone had gotten fed up and written them off). But even with

Back in the Game

2010-09-08T02:20:00.001-04:00

"You know what? I should start playing poker again."That's a thought I had about a week or so ago when I realised that I needed something to do when I'm not working other than sleep, eat, kill time on Facebook, and not blog.So I've started playing online again. And I've been amusing myself with the North American Poker League qualifying freerolls on Pokerstars. They're six-handed double

Out And Back: Chido Burrito

2010-07-07T04:52:00.004-04:00

We all mature in different ways, at different speeds and at different times. Our tastes change, evolve, become more grown-up. We stop liking things we used to, start liking things we didn't, and want better versions of the things we already like.Basically what I'm saying here is that there comes a time when you want - nay, need - more from a taco than Taco Bell's ever going to give you.That's

Wings on Fire

2010-04-07T21:14:00.002-04:00

So I'm sitting in the office Sunday night puttering along as usual when the call comes.Donovan McNabb's been traded?To the Washington Redskins?A division rival?Really?REALLY?!?!?!Never has one decision thrown every aspect of my life into complete chaos.Right now, it qualifies as the second-worst personnel decision the Eagles have ever made. (The first, of course, was letting Reggie White -

Questions You Didn't Ask Me

2010-04-03T08:30:00.001-04:00

Just how bad a beating did your bracket take?Brutal. Both of my pools were effectively over halfway through the Sweet 16. And no, I didn't win either of them. The only two things I can hang my hat on this year are picking Murray State to beat Vanderbilt (Three teams won 30 games this year. The other two were Kentucky and Kansas) and getting the West Region right through the Sweet 16 in my

DIY 2: Electric Boogaloo

2010-04-01T03:07:00.009-04:00

Same room. New challenge.For as long as I can remember, I've valued my independence. From growing up as a typical 1980's latchkey kid to living in a single dorm room my last two years of college to living on my own for about seven and a half years now, I've always managed to figure out how to do things on my own, from teaching myself how to cook the basics to rigging a TV stand to putting in an

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth: I'm On A Float

2010-02-12T09:29:00.003-05:00

This is the first Super Bowl in a long time where I'll be OK with whoever wins. Josh: "Carrie Underwood just arrived off the set of Xanadu." Also, big ups to the folks at Sun Life, whose campaign clearly worked.We are having some severe technical difficulties here at the office. Not sure how much attention I'll be paying here. The NFC has won the last 13 coin tosses? That's nuts. WE HAVE A

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth: B.T.S.I.

2010-01-28T07:35:00.002-05:00

A missed field goal inside 40 yards in the playoffs? That's never hap– oh, wait. Actually, the remarkable thing here is that it happened to the Jets this time instead of against them. Wow. Not only did that play-fake fool everybody, but Braylon actually caught the pass. I'm not sure which is more impressive. That quarterback sneak looked as bad as Eli's last-gasp one against the Eagles in

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth: Laces Out

2010-01-21T10:35:00.002-05:00

This happened last week, right? No? Oh, not right away. Gotcha. I believe this is 82 consecutive drives where the Cardinals' defense hasn't forced a punt. (Slight exaggeration. Also I'm not about to use a hash tag in a blog.) FOX ran five replays of the last three plays and I still don't think they every figured out what actually happened to Shockey's leg. Man, DRC and Rolle out? This

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth: The Wild Card Grind

2010-01-14T09:09:00.001-05:00

This may not be a catch. Hang on. Nope. And the Bengals score two plays later anyway. Cotchery returns punts? Did I not know that? I guess it makes sense with Leon Washington out with a broken freaking leg. Yeah, I didn't think Shonn Greene was that fast either. The Bengals are stuttering in fits and starts. Sanchez really hasn't taken any chances yet. Until THAT. Jay Feely having to

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 17: Hours of Reckoning

2010-01-07T05:20:00.003-05:00

Signal Finder: PIT @ MIA, NYG @ MIN, CHI @ DET (end) (Really, Fox? Really?), PHI @ DAL, BAL @ OAK, KC @ DEN (end), WSH @ SD (end) Godspeed, Isaac Bruce. “The St. Louis Rams are now on the clock.” (49ers 28, Rams 6) In the AFC, 64 possible playoff combinations remain, and they all start here. OMG Pat White's dead. I'd also like to know what universe that's a clean hit in. What? Oh, wow, a

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 16: Feeding the Beast

2009-12-31T06:23:00.002-05:00

There was a game tonight? Oh. (Chargers 42, Titans 17) Signal Finder: BAL @ PIT, CAR @ NYG, TB @ NO (OT), DEN @ PHI PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. The Ravens are getting flagged like they're the Raiders. Oh! How does Mason drop that?! Seriously, this is ridiculous – that one just knocked them out of field goal range. Why is Ben throwing deep? Another penalty? Of course it's on Walker – he's

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 15: Blizzard of Confusion

2009-12-24T22:03:00.002-05:00

Has Peyton missed yet? No? Oh. The Jaguars are hanging in there but they don't want to play this game like this – they'd have been much happier with a repeat of the pace of the 14-12 opener. Is Cox the Jaguars' best corner? Because I'd think you'd want to have your best corner on Reggie Wayne and the Colts have been exploiting that matchup all night. Like that. Peyton f'n Manning. I mean,

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 14: Shock and Awe

2009-12-17T03:59:00.003-05:00

Two things I can't get over right now: How bad Brady Quinn is playing, and how bad the Steelers' offensive line is. Are you kidding me? Looks like it's time to re-open voting for NFL Upset of the Decade. Also, the ultimate question has finally been answered: the Madden cover curse is more powerful than the Super Bowl losers' curse. crosses off Steelers (Browns 13, Steelers 6) Signal Finder:

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 13: Rise Up

2009-12-10T04:22:00.002-05:00

O CANADA. Seriously, what's happened to Braylon Edwards? Any chance the Jets bring him back? Mark Sanchez clearly needed more sliding lessons. (Jets 19, Bills 13) Signal Finder: PHI @ ATL, WSH @ NO (the last two minutes except for the final 32 seconds – WTF Fox), DAL @ NYG, SD @ CLE Look, it's one thing to go cross-country and lose to a team that bad. But to have them come into your house

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 12: Unstuffed

2009-12-04T01:31:00.001-05:00

That's a different start. I'd like to think that if Aaron Rodgers had an actual turkey with him on the bomb to Driver that he had enough time to gut it, stuff it and tie it off before throwing down there and yelling “It's ready, Don! Put it in the oven!” I was just about to say that at least the Lions weren't thoroughly embarrassing themselves like they did last year but Stafford just threw

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 11: That Thing About Familiarity and Contempt

2009-11-25T22:53:00.002-05:00

Signal Finder: IND @ BAL, WSH @ DAL, PIT @ KC (OT), NYJ @ NE Why would you let the Colts start the game on offense? No, seriously. Why? Sick catch by Clark. And that's what Ed Reed does and has always done. The Ravens' red-zone offense looks like the Eagles'. More field goals! Meanwhile the Colts have scored half as many times but have more points. 86 on the Colts is struggling. Great

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 10: Better Day Ahead

2009-11-19T06:33:00.003-05:00

Signal Finder: CIN @ PIT, DET @ MIN, PHI @ SD, DAL @ GB (meaningless end), SEA @ AZ (another meaningless end) Line of the Week: Maurice Jones-Drew apologizing to his fantasy owners. “I had myself today. So it was a tough call.” (Jaguars 24, Jets 22) If the Lions are ever going to pick somebody off, this seems like the time it would happen. When did it become Mall of America Field? I just

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 9: The No-Cigar Zone

2009-11-12T04:56:00.003-05:00

Signal Finder: BAL @ CIN, AZ @ CHI, GB @ TB (2nd half), SD @ NYG Maybe someday, Houston Texans. Maybe someday. (Colts 20, Texans 17) Cardinals-Bears? WEAKSAUCE. Oh, you can't do that. Marino, later: “Maybe he oughta try hitting Kurt Warner instead.” Check out the Cardinals actually running the ball well here. Nice adjustment by Olsen on the first touchdown. Where were these Cardinals

Out and Back: Five Guys

2009-11-08T17:41:00.007-05:00

The thing about the Internet is this: Word travels fast. Information and ideas fly around the world instantaneously. You can ask anybody anywhere about anything and somebody will be able to give you an answer or an opinion or whatever it is you're after. So that's how I first heard good things about Washington D.C.-based Five Guys Burgers and Fries.But with all the speed of information comes a

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 8: Shuffle and Repeat

2009-11-05T23:37:00.000-05:00

Signal Finder: NYG @ PHI, MIN @ GB, OAK @ SD, CAR @ AZ (end) I feel like I've seen this before. Different shade of blue, though. Leonard Weaver lives! I know I've seen this before. The extra point got blocked? It's an epidemic. That's the second week in a row where Jackson's somehow been left ridiculously wide open. How does that happen more than once? I also didn't realize that the

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 7: Day of Destruction

2009-10-29T16:59:00.004-04:00

Signal Finder: MIN @ PIT, NE vs. TB @ Wembley, ATL @ DAL, NO @ MIA (end) Well, one longtime power got upset today; can another one be far behind? Um... no. I should really be having fish and chips while sitting through this. I'm disappointed in myself. Hey, a Josh Freeman sighting. Yeah, it looks like it's time. (Patriots 35, Buccaneers 7) This is playing out the way it probably should be

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 6: Lines of Demarcation

2009-10-22T04:02:00.002-04:00

Signal Finder: BAL @ MIN, BUF @ NYJ, PHI @ OAK So who's the Redskins' backup quarterback? It's still Todd Collins? Yeesh. (Chiefs 14, Redskins 6) What's happened to the Ravens' defense? Seems like they've lost some teeth with Rex and Bart Scott leaving maybe. After sputtering at the start, the Ravens' offense is getting something going thanks to some random Vikings foolishness. This may

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 5: The Worst of the Best

2009-10-14T23:47:00.001-04:00

UFL notes: These are some of the worst color schemes I've ever seen. ... In case you were wondering, J.P. Losman still isn't all that good. ... Overtime rules: each team gets one possession, then it becomes sudden death. They're getting closer. ... How about Kordell Stewart as a sideline reporter interviewing Denzel Washington? That's about ten different streams crossing there. Also, Denzel

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 4: Aged Like Fine Cheese

2009-10-08T02:43:00.001-04:00

Signal Finder: NYG @ KC, NYJ @ NO, DAL @ DEN If you have NFL RedZone, you could have heard this: Rich Gannon questioned the Bengals calling time out before their game-winning field goal attempt, saying “That leaves just enough time for the Browns' Joshua Cribbs to run the kickoff back for a touchdown.” Oh really? Mr. Gannon, I believe you know Mr. McNabb and Mr. Ward; have a seat. We... have

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 3: The Dregs Rise to the Top

2009-09-30T12:03:00.002-04:00

Signal Finder: KC @ PHI, TEN @ NYJ (end), CHI @ SEA, PIT @ CINLions win! Theeeeeee... Lions win! The good news for Redskins fans is that this has to be the absolute nadir of the Daniel Snyder era. If his goal was to make that team completely irrelevant, mission accomplished. (Lions 19, Redskins 14)No Westbrook either? Hmmm. The Chiefs are always a curious (and rare) watch – even during their

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 2: Home Crap Home

2009-09-24T07:28:00.001-04:00

(post #400; retrospective in the works)Signal Finder: NO @ PHI, Xeves @ Real Madrid, Sporting Gijon @ Valencia, NE @ NYJ (end?), PIT @ CHI, BAL @ SD (end) Dierdorf: “That's a handshake I want to see.” Also I don't know how much traction this has but Laurence Maroney kind of looks like a bust. (Jets 16, Patriots 9) Kolb's looked good on this drive. Well, until that. That ball needed some

By The Pigskin of Our Teeth, Week 1: The First One's Always the Hardest

2009-09-16T20:34:00.002-04:00

Who's running down Chris Johnson? Really? Wow. The run of tequila jokes was... odd. Polamalu's flying all over the place. I don't think the weather would have made a difference on that one – Bironas just hit it badly. Are you kidding me with that interception? Well, that was helpful. Blocked! Bironas is not having a good night. Great throw by Ben on the touchdown. … PROTECT THE FOOTBALL

Fearful Forecast 2009

2009-09-10T19:22:00.001-04:00

We recognize that some of you may be new, due to the promotion. What follows are the opinions of one solitary man, opinions reached after painstaking research on the opinions of other solitary men. Place as little stock in these as you possibly can, because there have been years where I've been catastrophically wrong. Like last year, where neither of my Super Bowl teams even made the playoffs.

Fantasy Draft Report: Two For One Special

2009-08-25T00:31:00.005-04:00

One vacation.One night.Two leagues.Two drafts. One starting 30 minutes after the other, even. I'm not 100% sure I can recommend this.After two years of, frankly, dismal showings all around, I'm ready for a comeback to reclaim my mediocre-at-best turf, and Sunday night was when the seeds were planted.This'll be my seventh year in the aPa league, which Ska said has been running for 10 years now.

An Open Letter to Michael Vick

2009-08-18T08:52:00.000-04:00

Dear Michael,I'm going to cut right to the chase.Being an Eagles fan has never been easy. And you showing up has just made it that much harder.See, Philadelphia sports fans have a reputation for being... shall we say... overly tough on our teams, the opposing teams, the opposing fans and anyone dumb enough to tick us off while they're in the process of being tough on the aforementioned groups.

The Summer of Electronic Armageddon

2009-08-06T20:49:00.003-04:00

So I've been gone way too long. But I've got my reasons.Let's go back to June 19th. I got home from work one night and I was watching TV when it shut off. On its own. I turned it back on and the volume started to max out. On its own. Then it started changing channels... you guessed it. ON ITS OWN. Efforts to exercise control with the remote were rebuffed with extreme prejudice. Finally I

Out and Back: Star Trek

2009-05-21T19:16:00.004-04:00

I almost didn't bother.That'll sound strange coming from not only the son of a Trekkie (Mom has the entire original series on VHS. VHS!) but from someone who has more friends that are into the franchise than any human being should be allowed to have.I don't have to tell any of you out there that there's an inherent danger when you've given the keys to a franchise property. And if there's any

Back in the Building...

2009-03-31T03:22:00.004-04:00

...Blogger we back on the map...Sorry.Other than being swamped at work (March is now our worst month, with the state wrestling tournament, the A-10 basketball tournament, state basketball playoffs and spring training), we've been too busy with nothing worth talking about here at TJD. Well, except for the brain overload that is Facebook, but that's another post.And now that I've recovered from

I Have GOT To Get Out Of This Business, Part XIII

2009-02-25T03:37:00.001-05:00

Hearst Threatens to End San Francisco Paper By RICHARD PÉREZ-PEÑA Hearst Corporation said Tuesday that it would close or sell The San Francisco Chronicle unless it could wring concessions from its unions, raising the prospect of San Francisco becoming the largest city in the country to lose its dominant newspaper. Hearst said The Chronicle, which has daily circulation of 339,000, lost

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth: Wings of Steel II

2009-02-03T01:48:00.003-05:00

- Whoa, that's Brenda Warner? I haven't seen her since the last time Kurt was good. She grew her hair out and dyed it blonde and looks about 12 years younger.- Heh. Did you see Kurt get startled and turn his head real quick when the military detail was announced?- No way this thing starts before 6:35.- A "Sell Avon" spot? Really? Really?- Twelve straight coin flip wins for the NFC? Rigged.-

What's In A Name

2009-01-31T03:53:00.003-05:00

So yeah, this is really weird and Twitterish in-my-own-head stuff but I'm putting it here anyway.You know the the blonde bartender in the Budweiser commercials who's always extolling the virtues of Bud? (And what does she actually care which beer her patrons drink? She getting a kickback?) The ones that end with Jet's "Are You Gonna Be My Girl?" playing in the background? Yeah. Well, I always

The Top 15 Of 2008

2009-01-28T03:55:00.006-05:00

MISSING THE CUT:Muse - "Starlight"Cut/Copy - "Lights and Music"Lucinda Williams - "It's a Long Way to the Top"Leona Lewis - "Bleeding Love" (The distaff British Invasion Of 2008 started here)Duffy - "Warwick Avenue"Kardinal Offishal (feat. Akon) - "Dangerous"N.E.R.D. - "Everyone Nose"15. Flobots - "Handlebars"My initial reaction to hearing this for the first time was "What the hell is this? Is

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth: Deja Vu All Over Again

2009-01-21T08:05:00.001-05:00

I think I can safely say that when this is over, no matter the outcome, we'll all be saying to ourselves, "How the hell did that happen?" That was one ugly exchange all around. Donovan's making some bad throws and he's not getting a lot of help on his good throws. For example: Nice adjustment, Lewis, but you gotta catch it afterwards instead of letting it bounce off your hands. CHICANERY!

Big In 2008

2009-01-15T23:10:00.003-05:00

Best Read: "The Things That Carried Him", Esquire, May 2008Favorite New Toy: My pizza stoneMost Unexpected Development: Super Bowl XLII/The discovery that my mother actually watched a live sporting event on the InternetRock Star Moment: Played my first hand of live poker. J-9 offsuit. I won. (It was all downhill from there.)Worst Rap Name: Plies (defeated Kardinal Offishal in a runoff)Welcome

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth: Wings of Steel

2009-01-13T05:49:00.001-05:00

That catch by Mason was amazing and not at all the type of play you'd expect to see from either one of these teams. This is getting ugly. Did the Titans really not score there? What a bad time to cough one up. Johnson going out is really handcuffing the Titans' offense - they can't change gears on the ground, and it's not like their receivers are even as good as the Ravens'. Crumpler got

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth: Heat Stroke

2009-01-07T06:53:00.001-05:00

So we've got a rookie quarterback on the road against a team with no momentum that hasn't hosted a playoff game in over 60 years. I'm not sure how this works. Well that's not a good start for Matty Ice. Edgerrin James lives! Nice catch. Flea flicker! Playoff chicanery. FAN-tastic. Meanwhile, Turner hasn't been getting any traction for the Falcons. Seriously, it's like they've switched

Year-End Freeze Out

2009-01-01T23:30:00.003-05:00

So the last day of 2008 was an... interesting one.The last couple days I'd been noticing that my freezer was starting to warm up and the stuff in it was starting to thaw out. After turning it all the way up to compensate and try to hold it off for a couple days, I called my landlord and asked if he knew anyone who did good work and could come look at it.Turns out he did. So the guy shows up,

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 17: Gag Reflex

2008-12-30T04:28:00.003-05:00

Signal Finder: OAK @ TB, NYG @ MIN, CAR @ NO (end), DAL @ PHI, MIA @ NYJI wonder if Gannon's having flashbacks. Ah, same old Raiders. Why is one of your offensive lineman getting blocked so hard by Ronde Barber it puts him on the ground? *cringes* Oh my God. Poor Cadillac. Thanks to CBS's superior sound, you can hear him screaming "Are you fucking kidding me?" after he grabs his knee there.

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 16: Unsteady Hand

2008-12-24T23:21:00.001-05:00

Apparently what happened at the end was the Cowboys were set up for an onside kick and the Ravens called a time out, then the Cowboys decided to kick it deep, which was... probably not the optimal strategy. Philly.com commenter: "We complain about our QB not being able to win big games; Romo can't even get out of December." (Ravens 33, Cowboys 24)Signal Finder: PIT @ TEN, AZ @ NE, MIA @ KC (end)

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 15: House Money Plays

2008-12-16T17:12:00.005-05:00

Signal Finder: BUF @ NYJ, TB @ ATL, TEN @ HOU (end), PIT @ BALPart of the problem is that the Jets can't tackle Lynch. Which is good for the Bills since Losman really hasn't been very good at all. GUNSLINGER. Who am I talking about there? That kickoff return TD getting called back is a killer. And that Jackson touchdown is a crusher. Man, the Jets fans have absolutely turned on them.

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 14: Checking For Pulses

2008-12-09T03:30:00.003-05:00

Signal Finder: PHI @ NYG, DAL @ PIT, NYJ @ SFTrent Cole leaping over two guys was pretty neat. Why'd they stop the clock? Not AGAIN! Are you kidding me? That's a momentum shifter. It's also just a crappy kick looking a the replay now. Nice drive by the Eagles to start the second half. It's also a good way to slow down the Giants' momentum as they've been flat all day. What, AGAIN?! We're

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 13: Home Crap Home

2008-12-02T17:17:00.005-05:00

I have a solution, by the way: Make the Lions game the night game on NFL Network to expose them to as few people as possible. Well there's an inauspicious beginning. Are you kidding me with this? PROTECT THE FOOTBALL. Ah, Daunte. Nice to see some things never change. How does no one catch that guy? If I'm the Titans I don't throw any more passes. Seriously. I mean, it's not like the

When Black Friday Comes

2008-11-28T23:58:00.004-05:00

A sort-of photo essay on New Jersey's mall parking situations on this most treacherous of days:Moorestown Mall, rear food court entranceCherry Hill MallCherry Hill again (They're actually doing construction here, which just made things worse. They're putting a Nordstrom with its own attached two-level parking garage in the middle of the mall complex.) Deptford Mall, 5 p.m. (the after-work crowd

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 12: On Pin(e)s and Needles

2008-11-26T02:45:00.000-05:00

Signal Finder: PHI @ BAL, DEN @ OAK, NYG @ AZBut first, a few questions. What the hell were Buck and Aikman doing at 49ers-Cowboys? Why'd I get the CBS late game instead of the early one? Was there some sort of convoluted conflict with the Baltimore market? I demand answers.Butch: Not only were the Lions actually up 17-0, but the Bucs scored 35 straight points after that. Seriously, who is

A Few Words, And Then, Time Permitting, A Few More Words

2008-11-23T14:40:00.007-05:00

So by now you've all seen the interview after last week's Eagles-Bengals tie where Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb says he didn't know that the game would end in a tie after one overtime period. The fact that he didn't know that is both unbelievable and completely irrelevant to the actual outcome of the game. And he got killed for saying that, which is somewhat understandable. I mean, yeah,

I Have GOT To Get Out Of This Business, Part XI

2008-11-22T02:56:00.003-05:00

1. People aren't spending money on print advertising any more.Source: SeekingAlpha.com (Butch found this)2. One of the nice things about working the sports desk is that I don't often have to deal with bullshit like this:USDA report details more involvement by Vick By HANK KURZ Jr., AP Sports Writer Fri Nov 21, 10:53 pm ETRICHMOND, Va. –

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 11: Beat The Clock

2008-11-18T03:49:00.003-05:00

GUNSLINGER. This may be the Jets' biggest win since the merger. It's at least top 5. (Jets 34, Patriots 31, OT)Signal Finder: PHI @ CIN, BAL @ NYG, DEN @ ATL (end), HOU @ IND (end), SD @ PITOh, Sage. Will you ever stop sucking? (Colts 33, Texans 27)Wow, the Ravens' defense just got gashed big-time. 20-0 before anything happens? So much for stopping the run. Where's Jacobs been since then?

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 10: Locked Down

2008-11-11T06:13:00.002-05:00

Signal Finder: BUF @ NE, STL @ NYJ, TEN @ CHI (end), SEA @ MIA (end), NO @ ATL (end), IND @ PIT, KC @ SD (end)I'm sorry, was Scott Linehan re-hired? I'm shocked to learn that Favre hasn't broken 200 yards passing. I'm even more shocked that FOX is still showing this game. Seriously, how did we see the end of this game? (Jets 47, Rams 3)This last drive by the Seahawks... man. I think this is

By the Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 9: Exercise Your Right

2008-11-04T07:14:00.002-05:00

Signal Finder: GB @ TEN, NYJ @ BUF, PHI @ SEAThe Bengals' remaining opponents just breathed a huge sigh of relief. Actual AP Line: "At 1-8, the Bengals are no longer on pace to be historically bad." (Bengals 21, Jaguars 19)Who ARE these guys? Nice Favre impression by Edwards. There's three Jets over there. Looks like Lynch lost his load running down the interception. Those 27 plays the Bills

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 8: You Lose, You Snooze

2008-10-29T17:12:00.004-04:00

Signal Finder: ATL @ PHI, NYG @ PIT, CLE @ JAXThis Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close: Redskins 25, Lions 17Welcome back, Brian. Now if you can get McNabb's accuracy back, that'd be a plus. Why is Ryan throwing into triple coverage? Oh. Mike Smith looks like Jeffrey Lurie. Hey, a quarterback sneak! This game has flowed the exact opposite way of every other Eagles game this season.

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 7: Are You Ready For Some... Baseball?

2008-10-22T05:48:00.002-04:00

Signal Finder: PIT @ CIN, SF @ NYG, NYJ @ OAKCedric Benson's starting? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. What a sorry state of affairs. Holy crap, Ward just punked that guy. Seems like every time you see Nate Washington he's catching a 40-plus-yard pass. Ah, that's more like it. (Steelers 38, Bengals 10)This Week's Game That Shouldn't Have Been This Close: Giants 29, 49ers 17Admit it. You thought Brad Johnson

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 6: Don't Leave Just Yet

2008-10-14T16:37:00.004-04:00

Signal Finder: BAL @ IND (first half), STL @ WSH, CIN @ NYJ (second half), MIA @ HOU (end), PHI @ SF, DAL @ AZ (end)Dan Orlovsky's (Close To) Actual Quote: "When the whistle blew, I thought, 'Did we false start? Were they offsides? Man, I'm an idiot.'" (Vikings 12, Lions 10)I'm not sold on the Redskins' game plan so far - they should be bum-rushing the Rams' awful secondary. Plus they look a

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 5: Points of Comparison

2008-10-07T19:02:00.002-04:00

Signal Finder: WSH @ PHI, PHI @ MIL, CIN @ DALMike and Mike floated the idea Monday morning that the start times for games on the East Coast where a West Coast team is visiting should be pushed back to 4 because the visiting team's gotten slaughtered every tine it's happened so far. I don't know if there's anything to that, but I don't know how else you explain this. (Dolphins 17, Chargers 10)

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 4: A Real Cool Hand

2008-09-30T17:18:00.000-04:00

Signal Finder: CLE @ CIN; GB @ TB; FLA @ NYM; DEN @ KC (end); WSH @ DALI don't have kids - and maybe that's the reason for what I'm about to say - and I can't imagine how Matt Bryant's doing this. This game's had a ridiculous number of swings. Wait, Flynn's in? I thought Brohm was the main backup. Not that it matters since none of the Packers' QBs have played more than eight games, but Flynn

They're Getting Ballsy

2008-09-28T03:49:00.003-04:00

I guess the fact that there's someone new on the Interwebs every single day keeps these scams going. But it takes a special kind of degenerate to put this particular twist on it:Wed, 17 Sep 2008 12:46 PM ( 1 week 3 days ago ) From "Mrs. Suha Arafat" [Add]To undisclosed-recipients: ;Subject Investment Programme Dear Friend, This mail may not be surprising to you if you have been following

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 3: The Big Bum Rush

2008-09-23T17:09:00.004-04:00

Signal Finder: CIN @ NYG, ARZ @ WSH, TB @ CHI (end of regulation), PIT @ PHIGood Lord. This may be the greatest day in Dolphins history since the last time they beat the Patriots. (Dolphins 38, Patriots 13)I find it interesting that the announcers are still calling him 'Johnson.' Oh, wait, Gumbel referenced it, at least. Is Carson's nose broken again? Maybe, since he's been sacked six times.

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 2: A Giant Spanner In The Works

2008-09-16T08:10:00.003-04:00

Signal Finder: IND @ MIN, NYG @ STL, NE @ NYJ, SD @ DEN (end)This is horrific. Seriously, I'm not sure the Rams secondary could cover us. Nice job by Holt to outfight Phillips for the touchdown and make things interesting, if only for a few minutes. (Giants 41, Rams 13)Peterson's shredding the Colts right now. Not that it matters because the Vikings seem to be stuck between the 20s. Which is

By The Pigskin Of Our Teeth, Week 1: Bunting, Blowouts and Breaks

2008-09-10T07:37:00.000-04:00

Wait, what? 7 o'clock? Oh, right, the Republicans. Still, you'd think we'd have gotten some kind of buildup. That's how you start a game, Eli. The Redskins look... off. Seriously, this team going to the West Coast offense is a cultural adjustment as much as anything else. The Giants' defense hasn't missed a beat, either. Why are people counting these guys out again? (Giants 17, Redskins 6)

Fearful Forecast 2008

2008-09-04T21:50:00.001-04:00

NFCEAST(1) Dallas - On paper, the Cowboys are probably the best team in the conference. But games aren't played on paper, especially not playoff games. And there are still enough potential time bombs that could cause things to go horribly wrong.(5) N.Y. Giants - I'm not as down on these guys as everybody else is, and not just because they're the defending champions.(6) Philadelphia - Friends, I

Fantasy Draft Report 2008: 2 of 2

2008-09-03T19:13:00.003-04:00

And I'm back with Rob in the fifth year of JackSux. And after I got royally hosed by the Vikings and the official scorer last year (seriously, CC Sabatiha has nothing on me), I'd really like to not have to even face the possibility of that happening again. I'd like to just go out and crush fools. And this team is built (by Yahoo! Autodraft, of all things) to crush fools.1. (6) RB Joseph Addai

Fantasy Draft Report 2008: 1 of 2

2008-08-20T01:11:00.004-04:00

After numerous stops, starts, delays and reschedules, the fine folks at aPa finally settled down and had their drafts Sunday night. I didn't miss it because of work for a change. This time, I was on vacation and had some friends in town, so we all ended up at Borgata and I missed the draft. But as history has shown us, it's probably better this way.So let's see what Yahoo Auto-Draft hath

Out and Back: White House Subs

2008-08-14T23:36:00.000-04:00

It's commonly said that after you live somewhere for a decent amount of time, you become, for lack of a better word, immune to being intrigued by all of the things your town has. You know, the touristy spots, the historical landmarks, the things that people from other places come to where you live to see.But I've been coming down here since I was in diapers, so I'm not quite sure what my excuse

Or, "Well, This IS Detroit."

2008-07-24T17:58:00.005-04:00

The first one led SportsCenter when it happened. This one started the same way (with a retaliation) and got in at the 50-minute mark. But here's what I'm interested in:Rick Mahorn was always a big guy. But he's gotten HUGE. I think he ate Vinnie Johnson. He looks like Arsenio Hall's rap alter ego whose name I can't remember."I think Rick was trying to play peacemaker, but he's just too big,"

A Paradox?

2008-07-03T22:07:00.003-04:00

When you think about it a certain way.......it actually makes perfect sense.

I Have GOT To Get Out Of This Business, Part X

2008-06-30T02:59:00.003-04:00

I've highlighted the thing about irony in the middle.----------Newspapers, reeling from slumping ads, slash jobsBy SETH SUTEL, AP Business WriterSun Jun 29, 2:55 PM ET Even for an industry awash in bad news, the newspaper business went through one of its most severe retrenchments in recent memory

Out and Back: Sonic

2008-06-05T00:04:00.005-04:00

I freely admit that sometimes I get bugged by things that, frankly, I know shouldn't bug me.For years the Sonic drive-thru chain would buy national ad spots during games or shows I watch a lot, and it always bothered me a little bit because a) I'd never heard of Sonic; and b) once I discovered what Sonic was, I also discovered that there weren't any within about 300 miles of me.Well, not long ago